Jarrod_Uncut

Thankyou. And good points, but trust...despite the frustration I don’t let these imbeciles mess up my day. I’m experienced enough to know the point of no return. For 1, I never reserve hotel time for new clients without a deposit. Unless they sound absolutely genuine and proven.
 
The problem is, it’s become too prevalent. And when finances are at stake, I don’t have the patience and will to deal with 1 idiot after the next, requesting appointments, and then not having the decency to follow thru. It’s almost like I’m being scammed. Scammed by the sites I pay to find clients, and scammed by the potential clients who lie about wanting to pay me. That’s fraud, and it’s fraudulent. All the potential clients doing that are low-key criminal shiesters.
 
That’s why I don’t give them too many chances, and am willing to bust their balls and burn their bridges the FIRST time they flake. One guy last week, he wanted to go back and forth about scheduling, saying he wants to meet a noon or 1230 (which I had to make special concessions to do), then he tells me he has things to do, and how long will I be in town. I said SEND ME MY $100 CANCELLATION FEE, AND FORGET IT! And then he quickly figured out a way to show up.
 
Another guy, I’ve told him I’m contacting his mother and father tomorrow if I don’t get my reimbursement. Because this has been the 3rd or 4th time he’s wasted my time. He already knows, I told him last year to stop contacting me.
 
It’s one thing to inquire about a service, and be uncertain, and leave your options open. Or to just inquire and get quotes and such. But integrity would tell someone when you’re dealing with 1 person, have some tact and class. What’s worse is, some talk about making plans and then don’t respond. It’s like they look right in my face and LIE, and don’t have the balls to just be real.
 
And I hate to come off offensive, and I’m not judgmental. But the worst part of it is, lot of these guys playing these games aren’t really attractive to begin with. They have us jumping over hoops, and then turn out to be out of shape, lacking in hygiene, or just boring/inexperienced in bed.
 
I know the above won’t be popular and sounds harsh, but the point is: Guys underestimate our leniency. I look past all of those things, to create a fun experience. But don’t insult my intelligence by trying to play hard to get, in order for me to aimlessly pursue you, in an attempt to build your ego. Because I’m going to peep the game real quick, and cut you. Off. PERIOD.
 
This Chardonnay ? ? is letting everything out, unfiltered tonight. Thankyou, Fetzer vineyards.

I always host in my home or hotel room when traveling. I may be wrong (don’t burst my bubble) but I feel safer doing it this way. I feel more in control. And, I can end it when I feel it’s necessary. Plus, it adds to my BFE, which I always request.

But thing is, this thread wasn’t about “hyper inflated” $300+ rates. It was a general “will you lower your rates” question. It’s certainly a broad answer. Will a masseur who charges $100 lower their rates? Will an escort charging $150 lower his rates?
 
Not to mention, there is no “list” price anymore with the current trend of sites not letting us post rates. So therefore, clients have to recognize that the prices they get might not be what they expected or wanted to hear.

Thankyou. And good points, but trust...despite the frustration I don’t let these imbeciles mess up my day. I’m experienced enough to know the point of no return. For 1, I never reserve hotel time for new clients without a deposit. Unless they sound absolutely genuine and proven.
 
The problem is, it’s become too prevalent. And when finances are at stake, I don’t have the patience and will to deal with 1 idiot after the next, requesting appointments, and then not having the decency to follow thru. It’s almost like I’m being scammed. Scammed by the sites I pay to find clients, and scammed by the potential clients who lie about wanting to pay me. That’s fraud, and it’s fraudulent. All the potential clients doing that are low-key criminal shiesters.
 
That’s why I don’t give them too many chances, and am willing to bust their balls and burn their bridges the FIRST time they flake. One guy last week, he wanted to go back and forth about scheduling, saying he wants to meet a noon or 1230 (which I had to make special concessions to do), then he tells me he has things to do, and how long will I be in town. I said SEND ME MY $100 CANCELLATION FEE, AND FORGET IT! And then he quickly figured out a way to show up.
 
Another guy, I’ve told him I’m contacting his mother and father tomorrow if I don’t get my reimbursement. Because this has been the 3rd or 4th time he’s wasted my time. He already knows, I told him last year to stop contacting me.
 
It’s one thing to inquire about a service, and be uncertain, and leave your options open. Or to just inquire and get quotes and such. But integrity would tell someone when you’re dealing with 1 person, have some tact and class. What’s worse is, some talk about making plans and then don’t respond. It’s like they look right in my face and LIE, and don’t have the balls to just be real.
 
And I hate to come off offensive, and I’m not judgmental. But the worst part of it is, lot of these guys playing these games aren’t really attractive to begin with. They have us jumping over hoops, and then turn out to be out of shape, lacking in hygiene, or just boring/inexperienced in bed.
 
I know the above won’t be popular and sounds harsh, but the point is: Guys underestimate our leniency. I look past all of those things, to create a fun experience. But don’t insult my intelligence by trying to play hard to get, in order for me to aimlessly pursue you, in an attempt to build your ego. Because I’m going to peep the game real quick, and cut you. Off. PERIOD.
 
This Chardonnay ? ? is letting everything out, unfiltered tonight. Thankyou, Fetzer vineyards.

You're not in a normal situation though. Just a bunch of last minute horny guys and the guilt of doing it during a pandemic. Flakes are the rule.

I'm sorry to hear you are in that zone. Are there other career paths you have an interest in, or another city you might want to try working in? Unfortunately we sometimes run into these stretches where people disappoint us over and over again, and it can cause us to view things more negatively that what they actually may be. This pandemic doesn't help, and as things open up people may even act more strangely than usual for a while. My only (unsolicited) advice for what its worth, is try to stay flexible... its so much better to bend than to break. Take good care of yourself, and thank you for always being so open on these boards about what you are feeling.

I like the first part of your answer, but the 2nd part is overkill. There was a member in another thread telling me about not “burning bridges”, but certain phrases are bridge burners lol.
 
I think something like, “that’s higher than my budget will allow” leaves the door open for negotiation, without directly “insulting” or insinuating the escort is overpriced or not worth what they are asking.
 
A person may counter, “what is your budget?” And you can reply “$250.” And then he can say, “I’ll consider it for this time around being you’re a first time client and want to see me, and in future sessions we can perhaps arrange something that’ll work for both.”
 
But don’t be a prick and then cancel once agreed (goes for both parties).

You are absolutely right. That is the wrong response for me to give. I need to close the loop.
 

I love your response! It is perfect and allows the provider to continue the conversation or end it. Thank you!

Hate to be sarcastic, but what economic devastation?
 
It’s easy to get sucked into the random choice words that get thrown out on TV and media. And of course fear can push people into making desperate moves that don’t give justice. However, it requires careful listening and assessment to determine what exactly is going on.
 
If anything, everything that has happened is a window to opportunity. Less escorts/masseurs across the board is the 1st window. Since the start of the pandemonium, I’ve seen all types. One worked for Costco. Another was a hotel owner. Another was an electrician for a wealthy part of Arkansas. The tricky part is, not everyone is experiencing the same level of economic devastation. Some people and businesses are bankrolling. The SBA loans, the extra workload, the laid off employees...all amounts to extra money to spare. It’s like when a (comparing once again to a familiar disaster) hurricane strikes. They talk all about the devastation, but they don’t talk about the roofers who are making BILLIONS. I used to have a client who was one, he never left less than $300 sitting on the dresser. AND he would pay for the hotel, and let me keep it. Unlike these other cheap mofos out here that get on my last nerve.
 
Some men, especially gay men, will always try to find an excuse to be CHEAP. Even before the pandemic. I met a previous client who was great the first time, but recently told me he was laid off and unemployed. However, I remember last year, he was talking about his budget and such when we tried to set up a 2nd meet.
 
There’s no need to lie. I already know what they’re thinking. Some guys will pay a guy 1 time just for the experience, and then fail to make it happen again. They may even “try” to reconnect, but purposely say or do things to NOT make it happen. Just like this one email from someone:
 
My masseur move 3 yr ago and haven't found a replacement. I think you and I have been together once. Are you able to host today?
 
Immediately followed by:
 
I just seen that you are not in kc, guess u will not be able to get together
 
So this guy hasn’t found a replacement masseur in 3 years? I can see why. He’s probably annoyed every provider he’s contacted lol.
 
It doesn’t bother me if someone is having financial problems, but what blows me is when guys have the means, but want to be stingy with their sexual
partners. So I absolutely won’t be lowering my rates due to the pandemic, and so far I’ve still not met anyone for under 200 lately. Why would I? If I’m only seeing 1 or 2 clients a week due to:
 
1. fewer clients due to the health aspects, and
2. Less clients due to the money aspects.
 
So yeah I absolutely won’t be. One guy yesterday on adam4adam (which I’m once again considering withdrawing my membership from) offered to f**k $50. I referred him to my JFF page ?

A couple days in advance always works for me, with a text confirmation the day of.

Hmmm...good points overall, but I strongly have to counter this one. I’ve had same day appointments involve some terrible misunderstandings. I’ve had to cut ties with regulars over same day sessions. Most of my missed sessions, have been based on same day bookings. Usually it’s due to the client being short on time, or inflexible, or something involving the hotel (directions, location, check in/check out times) that causes it.
 
Even back when I had my own place, some clients would contact me moments after I had left my apartment asking to come over. Almost as if they were watching me leave lol. I remember a time I was stuck in traffic only 20 miles from having just left to go out of town, when my favorite regular client asked to come over. I’m like dude, I just left the house ??‍♂️
 
It’s amazing how many missed connections could have been avoided, if appointments were simply planned a little more ahead. And I’m not even talking days and weeks ahead. I’m talking like a mere few hours. E.g., contacting at 9:30 am for an evening session, instead of contacting at 9:30 pm for an evening session. Some clients try to use the reasoning, “I can’t tell if or when I’m going to be horny, so I have to only call when I am.” So what if I was to say the same thing, and every other time you called because you were horny, I wasn’t horny?
 
One of my regulars from years ago used to say that, yet it was very predictable he would call me every 2 or 3 Sunday’s over a course of a couple years...once in awhile on a weekday. I didn’t mind at the time because I had my own place, and he lived in the same neighborhood. But there was a couple of times where he’d call the day of, and I would tell him...I’m not available on short notice today.
 
At the end of the day though, I realize in the biz...you just have to be available, convenient and ready. Sometimes within 15 minutes. And have your own place in the city. This business is built on instant gratification and convenience. It used to be a perk to have your own transportation (which I guess isn’t a big deal now with Uber and Lyft). At the same time, even when I set a day to be available, ready and in the city...I still only get 1 or maybe 2 if I’m lucky, people show up when I do. And mainly because they planned ahead. The same day-ers are usually the ones who don’t show up.
 
That’s why I tell clients, it’s no point in me being available 24/7, in order to be ready when they are ready. Most of my appointments are booked in advance. Therefore I have to go on about my life outside of those times, if you happen to contact me when I’m living my life, be prepared to coordinate something in the near future, rather than expect instant attention.

A lot of people don't read profiles, at least not carefully. I'm not an escort, but I have profiles on a couple of hookup sites. More often than not guys contact me who would have already realized that we werent a match if they had read my profile. It's just part of this world.

That’s the thing. I do exactly that. However, when people disregard directions and make it difficult to connect, that is essentially counterproductive to what I’m trying to do.
 
Its not just that it isn’t convenient for me, it’s not possible. I can’t accommodate impossible requests. That’s not a matter of inconvenience, it’s a matter of coordinating things that work for both parties, not just for one. It’s like any other business that has their hours of operation, or clinics where you have to make appointments.
 
Even in regular hookup scenarios, there’s still a process of arranging a fuck session. Sure the “come over now” stuff happens left and right, but most of my hookups off clock usually involve some degree of planning. If someone disregards the set order in which I ask to do things, it’s going to be a repeated failure in connection.

Do you reach out to the ones you may be interested in? You may be surprised to know some could be open to it, especially with your body type.
 
I’m usually top myself as well, but I’m a believer that...I would not turn a guy away who is a top. He could be my type in every way, I’m not going to pass up.
 
Just like last night: sucked him off twice and put in half of his dick inside me. Fortunately we discussed ahead of time, there wasn’t going to be no fucking involved. But I don’t mind giving a teaser...

Yeah that is a good point. I’m sure there’s some way to access those.
 
I’m sort of having 2nd thoughts myself. This is all happening during a time where I am pressed to relocate, and now it’s being thwarted. Even though some of the demand is still out there, it’s going to be harder to build a momentum.
 
I think the scariest thing isn’t the virus, but how many potential clients may be unrecognized. That of course then leads some of us to take any appointment we can, which can lead to issues.

I'm not comfortable seeing clients until I know whether I have the antibodies, or if the client knows they have. Besides, the majority of my regular clients won't be hiring anytime soon.

While I've only seen a few clients since the start of COVID19, I made the decision as rationally as possible based on all of the available information being provided by public health authorities. I've not made myself available for appointments, but have had a few clients contact me, and saw them. It's not the same as pre-COVID19, but that's ok. My "other" life has me working 11 hour days.

My thoughts: why stop now, when there’s been things that hit far closer to home than this. People were still coming into the biz, despite the hundreds of thousands of cases of STD, Hepatitis (and there’s been increases in that, according to various cities STD clinics, before COVID 19), and HIV. Same as I’ve been saying already on the forum, but I don’t have too much time to elaborate on at the moment.
 
I didn’t stop seeing clients, nor was there any 2nd guessing if I would. The question I’m wondering: when are the rest of the clients out there going to start hiring again lol.
 
Couple weeks ago, one of my regular clients came by. I was outside most of the day, which in the Midwest around this time of year, can trigger allergies, which triggers my asthma.
 
We had to end the session early because I was short on breath (and not from the action lol). It was exasperated by the fact that I forgotten my asthma medication at home. Later on he was telling me that he hope it wasn’t COVID 19. I told him I’m pretty sure it isn’t, I’ve been dealing with this on and off for years. Sure enough, once I got my inhaler back...I was immediately able to breathe normally. We met again a week later, but then after the session I was gasping out of his place because he had incense burning, and that is a definite asthma trigger.
 
Point is, there’s always stuff out there. Why lie to myself by stopping something temporarily, and then going back once things are “safe”. Obviously you don’t want to take unnecessary risks if you don’t have to, but I’m not going to give myself a false sense of safety.
 
Think of it this way: If I were to ask this same question to a die-hard church lady, or to a random, Uber conservative doctor, what would their answer be? Would they say, “it’ll be safer to wait until COVID 19 is over before going back to having multiple sex partners?” ?

I’m among the other 50% I suppose. The non-gay for pay type. I also think you may be focusing on the idea that escorts don’t chase guys who they desire. Just because someone is a professional, doesn’t mean that they don’t have a sex life outside of the biz.
 
Contrary to popular belief, very few are actually “stuck” doing anything in this biz. I’ve said this before regarding working during COVID. Point in case: More stimulus payments went out this week. So I certainly didn’t “need” to see someone, but the next day, I went ahead and did so anyway because I was horny and felt like it.

I would hope so, because we’ve been paying to be on those sites all this time.

I’ve always wanted to go to Toronto or Montreal. One of my middle school teachers in Florida was from Toronto, and he pretty much taught us everything about Canada and Toronto lol. I know for a fact I would make big bank out there as well. But it’s still somewhat hard for Americans to get into Canada.
 

 
Every city outside of Los Angeles and NYC, because I never get much in LA, and I’ve still never “worked” NYC lol.
 
Also, clients and sugar daddies are 2 separate things. I have a friend (White guy, which makes a difference) in Denver who has a sugar daddy. He’s brought him cars, $1,000s of dollars, everything. He now doesn’t even work, and he’s almost 40. But as far as my knowledge goes, his sugar daddy has never hired “escorts” so to speak.
 
I find sugar daddies are common in larger gay cities. In those places, guys tend to not want to pay an escort. It’s like a client in Orlando I had years ago, who wanted to be my “boyfriend”. I didn’t want that, he wasn’t my type (I thought he was attractive, funny, and kind...but he wanted a certain lifestyle for me that I wasn’t looking for). And I feel sleazy getting into a relationship with someone because they have money.
 
I may be a sex worker, but I’m not the type of person who chooses a man because he has money. I rather be with a broke guy my age who I’m attracted to, than to base my relationship on status. I find smaller markets and towns tend to do better at meeting “clients”, usually the discreet married types don’t want to “sugar” anyone, they are fine with an occasional pay arrangement.
 
There’s a reason why places like LA, Miami/FTL, Nashville/Raleigh/Charlotte, San Diego, Atlanta, and Chicago are hard sales. Those towns have a fair share of guys who are financially challenged, in a city with guys who are fairly wealthy. So, those types feel they don’t have to buy an escort, when they can find someone who wants $100.
 
But that’s why I’m glad to be 32 and getting older, because I’ve graduated from the “broke black boy” stereotype, to the “commanding black entrepreneur”. The only thing I do now for 100, is a deposit towards a longer session ☝?

Hell, I could ask myself the same question lol. Everytime I go to DC I don’t want to leave. A 3 day trip turns into 3 weeks. But DC is also an advanced level city to work in. The traffic, the weather, the competition, the prices, the constant crime and government presence...it’s a lot, not to mention the fluctuating racist/classist undertone.
 
It takes a strong person to be succesful in DC. The ones who are, are quite adept. They’ve found their comfort zone, and have become part of the culture.
 

 
Meh...idk. I remember one of the EOY from DC told me, “there’s no convenient spot in DC.” Meaning, no matter where you are in the DMV, you’re going to be convenient or inconvenient to someone.
 
Last time I was there, I spent a few days in the Maryland/Alexandria area. I actually was pretty busy. Nobody said I was too far. However, sometimes people won’t want to go across to VA. Or they’ll be clear out in Bowie or Largo. That’s why it’s good to have a car in DC. There’s potential in the whole metro, and staying in DC proper and paying those prices, isn’t always necessary.

I was just making a statement about wanting to go to Canada, but that I’m aware it’s not a simple entry process for all. That’s all I was saying.
 
At this point though, I’ve not really been interested in going up though. If I want to go to Canada, I can just go to Florida, Michigan, or any of those Great Lake states, and get the similar experience without the immigration hassles lol.
 
And despite the fact I travel like every month, there’s still a handful of cities right here at home I’ve not been in years. San Francisco, Houston, Boston, SLC, Seattle...it’s been years since I’ve been to those places. So why go to Canada when there’s still places here I can catch up on.

? I already see I’m going to have to talk to you INDIRECTLY. I can’t quote anything you say because you go out of your way on being rude and disrespectful, just like the other one you was beefing with. Y’all should get along fine. Otherwise, don’t make assumptions. I’m very much a citizen and I don’t have anything felonious on my record, so don’t question my background ✋?
 
But...since you defer, here you go. Do your research. It’s true if more than 2 people are saying it.
 
https://m4m-forum.org/threads/australian-couple-denied-entry-into-canada-because-of-dwi-fine-in-australia.116760/
 

Good word ??
 
But I think at the end of the day, this isn’t simply a provider, or male escort issue. I think it’s a GENERAL gay issue as well. All the stuff about meth and taking advantage of, exists in the gay community beyond escorting. Escorting is simply an activity within the lifestyle.
 
Like I’ve said before, spend any significant time in a gay bar or gayborhood, and “messed up” men are nothing out of the ordinary. And that’s not picking on or putting down anyone, it’s just how the gay lifestyle is.
 
Last Sunday I was out and about (albeit in the White suburban area of the Midwest), and when I look around, there’s no gay couples. All you see is family and married guys. I see guys I’m attracted to, before I know it their wife and kid runs up to them (which doesn’t mean we can’t fuck, but still...). I don’t see anyone I can relate to.
 
THAT, fucking messes me up. Me going out and making $300 to fuck, doesn’t mess me up. Dealing with other gay guys, is what messes me up. Despite the many progressions that gays have made over the years, fact of the matter is, it’s still hard for many. There’s still not enough acceptance from straight people, and many gay guys are still not treating one other with VALUE. When it does, it doesn’t come easily. And I’ve known guys who’s only reason for popularity is because they had very good drug connections.