CuriousByNature

Thanks! I just wanted to make sure there wasn't any confusion. I'm easily confused!

And then there's that term that can be both a turn-on and a turn-off... Light Switch

Just to clarify - you've given negative feedback on two people who have profiles with the name Julian. These are two different people, so I'm wondering if that's a coincidence or if you thought they were the same person?

Just to clarify - you've given negative feedback on two people who have profiles with the name Julian. These are two different people, so I'm wondering if that's a coincidence or if you thought they were the same person?

I get concerned about that too if there's a provider who is known to have struggles, and then drops off the radar. 😢

And how did he call him at the dog park? "Here boy! C'mon 9inchHotStud!"

Oh wow - even at a less than 1% chance, that got dark really quickly... LOL. 🤣

Does that make you Cain?

Gud catch!

I would have expected he'd be based in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.

Are you suggesting they live in Cabot Cove? 🤣

First, I know that my reply will garner 'eye rolls' and 'verbose' emojis from the usual suspects. Second, I'm sorry that you consider yourself a lost and lonely soul, and hope that you know that you matter very much. Third, I'm now into my 50s and it sounds from your description like we are in very similar boats, though the reasons for that may be different. I have never had any level of sexual activity with any female or male either (except for some traumatic things that happened before I was in school) Please do not be worried about dying as a virgin. There are many worse things to die as. Our lives are not defined by how sexually active we are or are not. Increasingly, society puts more and more pressure on people to conform to what society considers 'norms'. It isn't always easy to see that when you feel so incredibly different from everybody else - I know that feeling all too well, myself. Whatever decision you make, please ensure that you protect yourself. This forum has a lot of great advice regarding HIV and STIs, and ways to reduce the risks. This may seem obvious, but never take someone's else's word when it comes to your own health and safety. People will tell you they are HIV negative and on PreP, but you can never be sure. Even if they show you their latest negative panel of test results, these are only as valid as the date of the test. Others will say they are negative, when in fact they are positive. If they are undetectable that is one thing, but if they are not - or do not take their antivirals properly - you could face greater risks. One provider in particular used to have "Positive/Undetectable" as their status, but now they list themselves as, "Negative and on PreP". Please know that I am not trying to scare you. I know fine and well that contemplating the potential loss of virginity in your 40s or beyond can be anxiety-ridden. It would probably be good to speak to your doctor in order to make sure you have the most appropriate vaccines, are able to discuss PreP and Doxy PEP, and can receive other medical advice - and there are many incredible people on this forum who are very willing to provide helpful advice, stories of their own experiences, and encouragement. There are also some less than helpful people on here who seem to prefer tearing people down rather than building them up. But unlike an STI, those people can be ignored and they will eventually go away And whoever your first time is with, whether that is someone you date, or a provider - or if you wait for a committed monogamous relationship - just be honest that you are inexperienced. Their reaction will help you decide whether to proceed or not. I wish you all the best, and thank you for making your post. Even though you may find yourself in a lonely space, you are most definitely not alone.

If that's 68 I must be 109

I'm hoping the two aren't mutually exclusive.

I've acknowledged twice now that my analogy wasn't perfect, and that I was trying to address the attitude that some guys may have about providing a tip. Again, the OP wondered if not giving a tip has impacted his relationship with his regular masseur. My reply gave two potential scenarios to consider, that's all. Now can we please let it go, so that the OP can hopefully get useful input rather than a bunch of ridiculous, pointless, and childish bickering? Man, some of you guys are exhausting! LOL 🤣

Maybe he added together their ages, heights and years of experience... Each of them is is 34 years old and 38 inches tall.

Well @pubic_assistance, with all due respect, if your re-read the OP's post, he does not mention anywhere that the massage service is either exceptional or basic. He says that this is a masseur he sees regularly. And that he wonders if the masseur may not be as easy to schedule now due to annoyance over the lack of tips. He asked the forum for opinions and I simply gave mine, and subsequently noted in reply to your reply that my restaurant analogy was not perfect. It seems I might have inadvertently hit a nerve, which was not my intention. I'm happy for you that you are able to dine at 5-star restaurants where the bill exceeds the weekly pay of a minimum-wage worker. But thinking a masseur that has done a good job (which I assume is the case since he's a regular) should not receive some sort of tip because they keep 100% of their fee may be be short-sighted and based upon the assumption that masseurs make considerably more money when all is said and done. It's a physically demanding job which many clients may not appreciate. A masseur has additional supply and equipment costs, and possibly overhead, that a waiter would not have. There is the cost of advertising, and most masseurs probably have fluctuating incomes from week to week. There may not be any clients for days, especially in the beginning. If a diner cancels his reservation there are usually other diners already there to take the spot. Even if the table is empty the waiter still gets paid, but absent the tip. If a client cancels a massage, there goes the entire fee. And possibly the entire day's income depending on how busy the masseur is. Also, a waiter does not need to be alone with a stranger in a potentially intimate setting. Consequently, masseurs may have to put themselves in uncomfortable and possibly threatening situations, depending on who is on their table. This is not normally an issue for waiters. I expect all of these considerations, and others I am ignorant of, come into play regarding massage fees. That said, I see a tip as an appreciation of good service, or a way to help someone out without them feeling awkward. It would not be something that should be expected, nor should it be given for sub-par service unless exceptional circumstances warrant it. And in reply to @aiseeya, I do not tip my lawyer because it's a different sort of service that is provided and tipping a lawyer is neither common nor encouraged, but I do send her flowers periodically to express my appreciation for her work, and for sometimes not billing me for a quick call or email. I do the same for my doctor, but with the currency of chocolate or gin. I don't have a pet, so no tips for a vet. And while I have been told MANY times to see a therapist, I have not yet done so!

I agree from that perspective, and I know it isn't a perfect analogy by any stretch (pun intended). But my comment was meant to highlight a customer or client's attitude, not the effect tipping or not tipping has on the employee or masseur. The idea that because the product is already pricey, there is no need to give an extra tip for good services. This sort of attitude does not make much sense to me, but maybe that's just me.

It's too bad he doesn't have any face pictures on his profile - it can be hard to visualize the whole person otherwise, but I respect his discretion.

It's a subject that many may not want to think about, but it's a good thread! Your contributions are appreciated

I think it's a Monarch butterfly. Charles is a monarch too. And I think he also used to be a caterpillar.

I was very tempted to attend this year, but then our dollar began crashing. It's becoming prohibitively expensive to vacation in the US for a lot of us Canadians. I ended up arranging a quick 7-day trip to Europe in May for significantly less than the four days in PS would have cost. Even though the Euro exchange is not good either, the exchange has remained pretty stable and the hotel and food prices are considerably lower than in the US. I'm using air miles for the flights, so that was not a factor in either case. Hope to get to the desert again one of these days - it's a beautiful part of the country! Enjoy your time together!

I'm not a provider, but maybe it depends on whether or not you are able to afford a tip. If you can afford to give a tip but are not doing so because you think he's getting enough at his regular rate already, to me, that is like going to a fancy restaurant and not tipping because the dishes are already expensive. In that case perhaps it is bad form. But if his normal rate is at a level that makes tipping a financial burden, that is a different story. You could let him know that you feel bad that you cannot afford to tip because it's too difficult financially for you. And that not being able to provide a tip is no reflection on the quality of his massages or the time you get to spend together. Maybe bring something along for him that you have made yourself, like something you cooked or baked just for him, and tell him that while you are unable to tip him financially at this time, you really want to express how much you appreciate him and his services. His response to that will tell you a lot. Just make sure you don't give him anything he is allergic to, so that you don't inadvertently kill him 🤣 That wouldn't be much of a tip....