Monarchy79

I commend you for making such an honest, candid and up-front post. ??☺️

I’ll just close out by sarcastically making this point about preferences: 1.) “I don’t like blacks or Asians , yuck”..... it’s just a preference.. ?‍♂️ (Racism) 2.) “I don’t like fat guys”, it’s just a preference... ?‍♂️ (Body fascism) 3.) “I don’t like guys over 40”, it’s just a preference ...?‍♂️ (Ageism) 4.) “I don’t like guys who don’t have an ivy-league, education”, it’s just a preference... ?‍♂️ (Elitism) My point is this.... own your shit, if you don’t like someone, for whatever reason, call it what it is, and assert it with confidence. But don’t mask your prejudices by calling them “preferences”, because the term sounds better. ???

The first round and the wings will be on me!! ☺️??

I think it’s time for that drink and those wings.. ?

But is not simply “you like what you like”.... There’s a REASON WHY you like what you like.... and that source of that reasoning is the elephant in the room that no one wants to address.

I see your point. I just find it funny when people say, “why don’t black people just do this...” as if it’s that simple, easy, and possible....there are institutionalized laws, regulations and policies put in place to disenfranchise people.

And a drink would be great.... minus the wings (I’ve never been a fan of wings) ..... lol

But isn’t “cherry picking”, what’s taking place, when people soften their prejudices, by rebranding them as “preferences”? ???

And it’s difficult to influence, if you’re not considered to be the “status quo”, from the beginning....

It’s not to say that blacks haven’t taken this path.. White gay influencers, get more backing, more promotion, and more avenues for growth... why? 1.) the gay population of majority white (and as people support thisenin their likeness (or dreams), the white gay influencers get a bit more support, and visibility 2.) because of #1.) white influencers get more partnerships, and endorsements. So just like in straight world, the odds are already stacked against minority influencers, because the playing field isn’t even to begin with.

I understand, but broadening the scope will actually prove to be inffective in getting to the root of the issue.......is your intent to get better insight on this issue? Or to throw somewhat of a really good monkey wrench in this to say that.... “well you must either call all straight and gay people racist for their dating preferences, or you must say that they are all not.” If that’s the case, that was an excellent caveat to throw in (seriously, you have excellent debating tactics, and I love it). However, keep in mind that white, heterosexual, relationships are the idealized “standard”, of American relationships... from the figurines that are placed on top of wedding cakes to the “leave it to beaver”, images...even when gays do marry, the structure of their relationship, is built on the same principles and ideals of a straight, white marriage. My point in this is that, since white heterosexual relationships are the ideal and the “norm”, it’s not as easy to say that they are racist for not dating/marrying outside of their race as a whole.

This is very true... to go further, I’ll say that the white man not only covets the black man, but all “other” men... the white man also decides and sets the tone for what’s “acceptable”, “attractive”, and “preferred”... This is why these “preferences are not to be taken lightly... Let’s go a bit further... I remember about 20 years ago, red heads were not deemed to be “sexy”, in gay white world... it was all about the blondes.. but once the mysterious demagogues of gay white world, suddenly decided that redheads are now “gingers”, and are “hot”, everyone followed suit, and now an original redhead is highly desired, freckles and all. What makes this power dangerous, is that it’s infectious... Just as in the fashion industry, it is stated that trends and what we claim we prefer is already decided for us and influenced by leaders in marketing and advertising... the same can be said of these “A-list-white guys”, who the rest of gay world worship and follow their lead... Trust me, the day when those guys have black men on their arms as husbands and significant others, and social media portrays them the same way they portray gay white men, these so called “preferences”, will magically change.

That’s an excellent trick question... ?? That’s also quite complex... The reason why the focus here is on male to male interaction is because: 1.) this forum typically focuses on that. 2.) the OP was expressing this experiences with men, primarily of the homosexual persuasion, and 3.) it’s a topic that brings such gasps, because it’s so blatantly hipocritical. One always wonders how a group that pounds to death to the masses, the issue of discrimination and rights, yet in turn, marginalized and discriminates against sub-segments, within their own group.

You just hit the nail on the head!!! Eloquently stated!!!

I wasn’t referring to your family.. I was referring to peers... other gay white men.

I think the other disconnect is that I don’t think our choices are that compartmentalized... most white guys I have seen from personal experience, prefer a world where there are no people of color. 1.) their dating is exclusively white 2.) their friendships and platonic relationships are exclusively white 3.) their interactions in business are exclusively white 4.) they also ensure that their entertainments venues and travel destination minimize color as well... So it’s typically rare that a person who has this “preference”, only limits their preference to sex.... they typically expand that preference in other aspects of life, business and entertainment that has tremendous impacts... Why this concerns me is “Mr. Preference”, may also be at the table of many job interviews... who’s to say that a well qualified black man didn’t get hired because “it’s just a preference” ?

I was speaking in jest...☺️??

I agree with that. I also think that we should start asking ourselves why we have these “preferences”... the source of the preferences are deep rooted in beliefs and things we were taught in our environmental upbringing.

As you are a white guy who has a preference for black men.... think about those times over the years where you’ve been in an all white gay male setting and had the courage to express your preference......now remember the commentary you got back.... ? We all know it wasn’t roses and complimentary either... lol

Ahhh, I see the disconnect here my friend.. ☺️ Racism isn’t always and solely based on hate....... just because you may not hate a group of people, doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not racist.... I’ll explain... In the masseur’s case, in some cases, the potential clients may absolutely hate black people.. we would obviously agree that’s definitely racist.. but going into the other negative stereotypes, beliefs and assumptions that marginalize him... such as “Black people smell “wierd” “Black people arent “clean” “He is a down low thug, and may rob and kill me” “He might have AIDS”, Are bundled into the “preference” category... but literally have the same impacts as the originally noted “hatred”, I just mentioned... This black masseur has limitations on earning money because of beliefs that are watered down into preferences, but when looking deeper, are still built from a foundation of racist beliefs and ideologies.

If not more racist. And any gay person of color will l tell you... we get our first “wake up” call when we “come out”, and attempt to join gay world with open arms.... and the first mistake you make is going to a predominantly white gay bar... That’s where you get that first taste of racism... lol

I’ll say this: Preference is the “decision and choice” Racism is the “foundation for that choice”.... Let’s dig deeper.... A shop owner may not want to bake wedding cakes for gay clients.... that’s their preference. Declining service to gays is the choice. Homophobia and bigotry towards gays is the foundation and source of that choice. My point is this. People have the right to make decisions however they choose. Those decisions may come from an unfair and unreasonable place and a construct of beliefs and principles that aren’t “politically correct”. But calling it “just a preference” doesn’t lighten the impact. So in this black masseur’s case.. These customers are expressing their preference not to be massaged by a black man.... That preference is based on their beliefs about black men.

1. Make it clear on your ads that you are black I think you just like debating with me... don’t you ??

No surprise here... plenty of gays are racist, and are usually the most vile and viscous with it. I see it everyday. Don’t let rainbow flags and the glitter fool you ???

Amen!!! ???????? And won’t have to worry about wearing diapers in old-age either!!! ????