Monarchy79

A poster said this about escorts: “ Not only are they men who have sex with men, but many of them engage in high risk behaviors like partying, condomless sex, and a high number of different people.” Ironically I find this statement true about a lot of gay men who have lots of sex, free of charge.... take a look at any app or dating site and you’ll see for yourself. What’s ironic is that sex workers probably take heed to testing and treatment far more than your average joe who’s just whoring around for free. More men overall need more testing period.

I actually commend the guy for regular testing, regardless of his sex activity. STI’s and HIV aren’t necessarily “time stamped” and symptoms of either could show far after the sexual activity that transmitted an infection to you occurred.

Providing a link to the masseurs MF or RM profile wouldn’t be considered a review.....

Sidebar: Shame on many of you guys for judging the OP.... hipocrites galore. I find it funny how he can be judged for being married and having escorts on the side, but many of you are in these new-age open marriages and open relationships your damned selves.... Lots of stones being thrown from glass houses.

Another option of a solution for this is to act needy, clingy and “in love”... that will have them running away as soon as the sessions are over. Guys are wired in a weird way. Show them interest and they’ll squirm away like feral cats.. show them indifference and they’ll chase you into Infiniti. Most escorts are used to being worshipped, and fulfilling needs of companionship to their clients. They are used to feeling needed and validating their Johns. By you not having that type of interest intrigues them and makes them want you more. Let them believe you are looking for that BFE, and once they are done, they will accept their payment and leave.

No advice needed ☺️??. Continue doing your thing, and by no means have any discussions with the escorts, explaining how you feel. It seems like the connection they appear to have with you is what makes the experience pleasurable for both of you.... I’m sure you don’t want to ruin that vibe. Just make sure they have no way of contacting you when you’re not seeking their services.

Very useful information!!! I’m no doctor, but I’d recommend continuing daily doses of that medication, unless you are a 100% condom user.

Your post just reminded me to add “guys who are sarcastic smart asses” to this list as well.... ???

My list wasn’t rated in any type of order or preference. And I agree with you, romance is dead. There’s nothing romantic about scrolling through an app, looking at pics of guys like you’re looking at a dollar menu at McDonalds. There’s nothing like finding an immediate attraction to someone in-person. The way they walk, their body language, the way they smell, the meta-physical energy. Apps and websites don’t provide that, which is why there are so many dating and hook up fails from sites and apps.

Although I haven’t been to a place like this (in the United States), in over 10 years, I will say that the “online” options aren’t that great. The in-person options are easier and have less issues as online, such as: 1.) catfishes 2.) flaky-indecisive people 3.) people who over-chat 4.) Serial Killers There is more to attraction than what one visually sees on a screen. Whether it’s a bathhouse, bar, club, gym sauna, alley, or library, in-person interactions always work best, and provide a higher level of authenticity.

He’s highly sexual. He wouldn’t escort. He’d do it for free!

My former friend was absolutely crazy. But his insanity was masked with good looks, a charming, charismatic personality, and a form of sociopathic narcissism beyond belief. He had an extreme talent of taping into people’s weaknesses and insecurities, making them feel safe and validated, and then manipulates them into being basically devoted followers (like a cult), his fiancée, and his friends all fall into his world where everything he does wrong rationalized, everything he says is gospel and everything he believes is agreed with. He controls everything. He’s also very generous, and people who are in need, also fall into his control as well. When I was friends with him, I thought I was losIng my mind. And we kept clashing because I wouldn’t “conform”. At first, I thought I missed his friendship, but what I missed was an idea of what I wanted our friendship to be. Now, close to a year and a half of no contact, I’m relieved and I can tell the crazy stories of what I witnessed in this dude's crazy world and laugh at it.

Lmao!!!! ????

And another thing.... in many cases having a BF is overrated too. You never know what goes on behind the scenes in the perfectly-crafted “relationships.” A former friend of mine just got engaged and everyone is gushing over it (the ring Is Fabulous) but what they don’t know is: 1.) They have a one-sided open relationship (he can sleep with whomever he wants, but his fiancée must get authorization from him to play around, otherwise , it’s considered cheating ) 2.) He has ADHD , and an auto-immune disease that requires constant treatment and random times in the hospital. In addition to that, he takes numerous random medications for both. (He disclosed this long into the relationship, after he reeled him in) 3.) Although the fiancée is highly educated and had a good career, he’s close to $100k in student loan debt and has a 500 credit score 4.) my former friend is also an insomniac, but demands they share the bed nightly, so while the other one is trying to sleep, he’s up all night with the TV on. This will be a marriage of limited rest. 5.) Group sex with his friends is also a requirement. Oh, and he’s “allergic” to condoms and takes PrEP in “cycles” (which I question its efficacy), which puts him and the fiancée at risk of numerous health conditions. But their wedding will be fabulous, and their social media profiles are awesome, and depict a picture perfect relationship. My point is, take your life as it is and appreciate the beauty and value in it. And make it what you want it to be. It takes a daily practice of affirmation to reprogram your thinking.

Sounds like a situation where you’re assuming the grass is greener. Another suggestion is to avoid social media. Studies have shown that the false, “staged”, perfect lives that people depict on social media contributes to depression in many. Don’t be fooled by those “squad” pics of gay guys in groups having fabulous brunches and travel destinations. What they don’t show you is the cattiness, drama, and juvenile in-fighting that’s beyond the level of a “real housewives”, franchise. Over the years, I’ve actually minimized, “friends”, and only interact with positive people with good energy (quality over quantity)... I remember, prior to last year, for the past 15 years, my social life was innundated with trips, parties, and a bunch of gay guys. It was entertaining, but mentally draining at times as well... it was filled with petty quarreling, useless gossiping, guys who blurred sex with friednship (so literally everyone was fucking each other), jealously, displays of insecurity, pretentiousness, and conversations about dumb topics )usually centered around sex and image. Now I travel alone, have a small set of quality friendships, and have quality and total peace in my life and I love it!!!!

All I can think of is one of my first massage experiences from masseur finder, and it was terrrible. Although this guy had wonderful reviews, after meeting him and having such a terrible experience with awful energy, I realized that he does not like black guys.... he could have told me that and saved me some money, and he could have had a client he actually prefers on his table. And btw, he was black too. lol. ???

No prob. The good thing about your experiencing this is that when you do find an escort who is a match, the experience will be guaranteed to be explosively fun !!! ??

Not to switch topics, but is the loss of desire for sex really a bad thing? When I’m irritated and frustrated, it’s usually because my interest in sex is extremely high, and I can’t get any!!! When I’m busy as hell and extremely focused and forget about the desire for sex, I feel great.

I’d also recommend getting a dog.... the unconditional love you’ll get from a pooch will be truly therapeutic.

Have you considered adding exercise, and yoga to your daily routine? The two truly help with depression, produces daily endorphins and makes you feel good.

I personally believe that escorts and non-therapeutic masseurs should not only ask these questions, but make their preferences clear too. It may seem initially harsh, but it will save us all time and money in the long run. I haven’t indulged in an escort yet, but have had masseurs and will tell you, YMMV plays a significant role in one’s overall experience. Preferences and “types”, may not be fair, but this line of customer service is subjective. I’d rather be told I’m not someone’s type because of my race, age or body type and save some money, rather than have an awkward, lackluster experience with a bad vibe.

There are guys with large dicks that still curve upwards and are uncomfortable trying to point it downwards.

Agreed. Although I wear cologne daily, I make sure it is entirely scrubbed off, prior to an appointment. And in terms of being squeaky clean, I will tell you that once your masseur or service provider realizes you are shower fresh and squeaky clean (especially back there), they are relieved and many are excited and many fun things will happen. I have had many of instances of faces surprisingly buried in my butt, and it all contributed to impeccable hygiene.

Wow!!! Any client who comes to an appointment without showering immediately beforehand isn’t considerate. To spend the entire day sweating, having bodily functions, eating food and coming in contact with air, smog, grease and other environmental factors, and then to hop on a masseur’s table without showering, is flat out disrespectful, and should be told to either shower or leave.

Although I’m not overweight, I’m uncomfortable with the idea that people are correlating weight with hygiene. The two are mutually exclusive. There are guys who are in fantastic physical shape who smell bad and are dirty “down there”, front and back. To resolve this issue overall, I’d suggest The following: 1.) starting the session with all clients with an erotic shower, to ensure cleanliness, or 2.) informing all clients that you will be showered and ready prior to meeting and you expect the same of them 3.) If when getting “down to business”, there is a “sign”, that no pre-meeting bathing took place, stop work, explain why and reference item # 2