Aaron_Bauder

I've inquired with other escorts about off-clock play, and gotten a yes because they found me mutually attractive
Hired other escorts (not often, a few times when traveling)
I've asked escorts for off-clock play, and been turned down (no more upsetting than being turned down anywhere else)
Played off-clock with other escorts I first connected with via a client who put together a group session (so, so hot)
Turned down escorts I've met in a client-organized group, who were convinced by my in-session acting/performance that I was super duper into them when I wasn't really (awkward)
I've been contacted by other escorts for off-clock play, and turned them down because they're not my type (some get really offended I'm not automatically into them, which is hilarious)
Hooked up with guys, then later found out they escort, then worked together

All sorts of scenarios happen. I would love to date another escort, active or retired, because sex work is a barrier to dating the kind of Ivy League/military "I work a desk job" boy next door type I'm drawn to. But I wouldn't date someone who's not my type just because he escorts too.
 
Very few would turn down a free hookup with a guy they find really hot.

Also my experience in SFO, guessing it has to do with a combination of 1) extra disposable income among Asian tech bros and 2) the racialized rejection many Asians face from gays who fit the status quo Sean Cody / Bel Ami litmus test of "hot" that conditions the (American) gay community to value one type of look.
 
So you get these beautiful Asian boys hiring to get a taste of that which normally rejects them.

Again, we who weigh in here should remember we are a self-selecting sample, and not a statistically sound one.
 
After 7 years in the biz, I've come to learn that the folks who participate here do not represent the average escort or client -- and certainly not majority opinion among escorts or clients. Much of the consensus opinion around here is either unknown to or would be laughed at by most clients and providers I've encountered, across states, borders, and cultures.
 
I don't personally know a single colleague who regularly participates here, although I know a few who once did, found it insufferable, and left. Others of us participate cautiously and sparingly. And I can count on one hand the number of clients I've had from here, out of multiple hundreds.
 
So let's keep our egos in check and not make assumptions about silence or non-participation. The "risk of speaking for others" in this case is a risk best left alone.

I'm going to assume we're being cutesy here and do not actually believe all services are equal, and that none of us would seriously regard someone who is providing us with sexual intimacy the same as we would treat a plumber.
 
If there is such a thing as a bad client, it would be those who do not consider the delicate implications and complexities of eroticism and who treat those who work in eroticism as disposable. A hospice nurse is not the same as an IT guy. Getting up close and personal with human sexuality (often under the umbrella of illegality and stigma) is not the same as fixing a leaky pipe, puns aside.
 
The flip commodification that happens sometimes in these forums has driven providers I know away from this website. Reducing it all to a mere transaction is icky, whether done by providers or by clients. Off this website where sex workers encounter that attitude, it has made some suspicious and even hostile. Instead, we all need to be thoughtful, because this transaction requires care and thought.
 
There's a reason serial killers often target sex workers. That's an extreme version of a bad client, but it all starts with disregard and disrespect. So let's not even hint in that direction, please. When you hire someone for intimacy, you should not treat him like just any plumber (cue the puns).

And hardly any provider has a problem with this. Claiming that providers get upset when asked "questions to determine compatibility" is a combination of two logical fallacies: 1) reduction to the absurd and 2) strawman argument.
 
Providers don't get irritated about mere "questions," it's about the type and volume of questions. For example, peppering a provider with 25 different obvious and repetitive questions that can be answered by reading the profile and reviews, rather than asking for clarification/elaboration on a handful of salient points.
 
Acknowledging that requires a balanced, nuanced look at how we each can improve our interactions on all sides for everyone's benefit. But it's easier to introduce an absurd fake argument no one is actually making and argue against that instead, in this case to portray clients as blameless victims and providers as hostile and unreasonable.

Also my experience in SFO, guessing it has to do with a combination of 1) extra disposable income among Asian tech bros and 2) the racialized rejection many Asians face from gays who fit the status quo Sean Cody / Bel Ami litmus test of "hot" that conditions the (American) gay community to value one type of look.
 
So you get these beautiful Asian boys hiring to get a taste of that which normally rejects them.

And hardly any provider has a problem with this. Claiming that providers get upset when asked "questions to determine compatibility" is a combination of two logical fallacies: 1) reduction to the absurd and 2) strawman argument.
 
Providers don't get irritated about mere "questions," it's about the type and volume of questions. For example, peppering a provider with 25 different obvious and repetitive questions that can be answered by reading the profile and reviews, rather than asking for clarification/elaboration on a handful of salient points.
 
Acknowledging that requires a balanced, nuanced look at how we each can improve our interactions on all sides for everyone's benefit. But it's easier to introduce an absurd fake argument no one is actually making and argue against that instead, in this case to portray clients as blameless victims and providers as hostile and unreasonable.

I fully agree.
 
I believe clients should treat providers with respect. However, the fact is that we're looking and evaluating potential providers, just like we'd evaluate objects we'd buy from a store. That's fact; it's how capitalism works, and it's how the escort business works.
 
Both clients and providers need a place where they can talk about things honestly. That's what the forum is for.
 
We can act nice in person, but sometimes we need to talk bluntly and honestly. And it's good for both escorts and providers to keep reality in mind. It's not healthy for escorts or providers to actually believe the other has deep feelings for them.

Again, we who weigh in here should remember we are a self-selecting sample, and not a statistically sound one.
 
After 7 years in the biz, I've come to learn that the folks who participate here do not represent the average escort or client -- and certainly not majority opinion among escorts or clients. Much of the consensus opinion around here is either unknown to or would be laughed at by most clients and providers I've encountered, across states, borders, and cultures.
 
I don't personally know a single colleague who regularly participates here, although I know a few who once did, found it insufferable, and left. Others of us participate cautiously and sparingly. And I can count on one hand the number of clients I've had from here, out of multiple hundreds.
 
So let's keep our egos in check and not make assumptions about silence or non-participation. The "risk of speaking for others" in this case is a risk best left alone.

I'm going to assume we're being cutesy here and do not actually believe all services are equal, and that none of us would seriously regard someone who is providing us with sexual intimacy the same as we would treat a plumber.
 
If there is such a thing as a bad client, it would be those who do not consider the delicate implications and complexities of eroticism and who treat those who work in eroticism as disposable. A hospice nurse is not the same as an IT guy. Getting up close and personal with human sexuality (often under the umbrella of illegality and stigma) is not the same as fixing a leaky pipe, puns aside.
 
The flip commodification that happens sometimes in these forums has driven providers I know away from this website. Reducing it all to a mere transaction is icky, whether done by providers or by clients. Off this website where sex workers encounter that attitude, it has made some suspicious and even hostile. Instead, we all need to be thoughtful, because this transaction requires care and thought.
 
There's a reason serial killers often target sex workers. That's an extreme version of a bad client, but it all starts with disregard and disrespect. So let's not even hint in that direction, please. When you hire someone for intimacy, you should not treat him like just any plumber (cue the puns).

I'm going to assume we're being cutesy here and do not actually believe all services are equal, and that none of us would seriously regard someone who is providing us with sexual intimacy the same as we would treat a plumber.
 
If there is such a thing as a bad client, it would be those who do not consider the delicate implications and complexities of eroticism and who treat those who work in eroticism as disposable. A hospice nurse is not the same as an IT guy. Getting up close and personal with human sexuality (often under the umbrella of illegality and stigma) is not the same as fixing a leaky pipe, puns aside.
 
The flip commodification that happens sometimes in these forums has driven providers I know away from this website. Reducing it all to a mere transaction is icky, whether done by providers or by clients. Off this website where sex workers encounter that attitude, it has made some suspicious and even hostile. Instead, we all need to be thoughtful, because this transaction requires care and thought.
 
There's a reason serial killers often target sex workers. That's an extreme version of a bad client, but it all starts with disregard and disrespect. So let's not even hint in that direction, please. When you hire someone for intimacy, you should not treat him like just any plumber (cue the puns).

That's rather common. There's a lot of callers out there who don't really treat it as if they like fact of hiring. Almost as if its a chore or shopping. They have to do it, but don't really want to do it. I ain't got time for that.
 
But on the other hand, re: escorts despising clients: I noticed I got a lot of ? to one of my posts. And that's perfectly fine. I don't expect everyone to share my views of doing things. But that's what makes the biz so great: we're not working FOR rentmen. We're not employed by rentmen, clients aren't employing us. The message forum, and daddy's reviews (no disrespect intended) is not employing us.
 
At the end of the day, it's up to us to choose how we deal with and prevent bad clients. And that goes beyond the physical, and may start even before the first message.

Yes, obvi. I have on occasion declined a donation from guys I would have hooked up with on my own accord. Usually they've insisted on donating anyway.
 
This has occasionally been problematic and amusing with guys (sometimes other escorts) who assumed, wrongly, that I'd find them super hot. It's like they're waiting for me to agree to meet them no charge, and then get confused and/or bitter when I politely inform them they're not my type. There's a couple of looks in the gay community that nearly everybody swoons over that I'm just not into.
 
I have a super l sexy massage client who I am super into and who I would leave the industry for immediately. Our sessions started as an hour massage and have gotten more and more intense each time, finally culminating July 4th weekend with an entire night of making out, edging, and frottage -- in addition to our usual long conversations. I could tell he was shaken up by it, and he has been radio silent since. Two weeks ago, I refunded every penny he's ever given me with the message "No charge." There is a serious connection there, but I think he's troubled at the thought of seriously dating a (former) sex worker.

I'm going to assume we're being cutesy here and do not actually believe all services are equal, and that none of us would seriously regard someone who is providing us with sexual intimacy the same as we would treat a plumber.
 
If there is such a thing as a bad client, it would be those who do not consider the delicate implications and complexities of eroticism and who treat those who work in eroticism as disposable. A hospice nurse is not the same as an IT guy. Getting up close and personal with human sexuality (often under the umbrella of illegality and stigma) is not the same as fixing a leaky pipe, puns aside.
 
The flip commodification that happens sometimes in these forums has driven providers I know away from this website. Reducing it all to a mere transaction is icky, whether done by providers or by clients. Off this website where sex workers encounter that attitude, it has made some suspicious and even hostile. Instead, we all need to be thoughtful, because this transaction requires care and thought.
 
There's a reason serial killers often target sex workers. That's an extreme version of a bad client, but it all starts with disregard and disrespect. So let's not even hint in that direction, please. When you hire someone for intimacy, you should not treat him like just any plumber (cue the puns).

Again, we who weigh in here should remember we are a self-selecting sample, and not a statistically sound one.
 
After 7 years in the biz, I've come to learn that the folks who participate here do not represent the average escort or client -- and certainly not majority opinion among escorts or clients. Much of the consensus opinion around here is either unknown to or would be laughed at by most clients and providers I've encountered, across states, borders, and cultures.
 
I don't personally know a single colleague who regularly participates here, although I know a few who once did, found it insufferable, and left. Others of us participate cautiously and sparingly. And I can count on one hand the number of clients I've had from here, out of multiple hundreds.
 
So let's keep our egos in check and not make assumptions about silence or non-participation. The "risk of speaking for others" in this case is a risk best left alone.

Why I wrote "Reducing it all to a mere transaction is icky, whether done by providers or by clients."
 
I don't think this website is any more inordinately critical of clients than it is of providers. This website and its affiliate are primarily dedicated to judging and critiquing providers after all. Much of that judgment is critical, and much of that criticism based on assumptions, prying/spying, one-offs, generalization, extrapolation, and commodification.
 
Most clients posting here get to stay anonymous. Providers here regularly get named, exposed, and picked apart whether they wish to participate here or not.
 
That comes with the territory. So to me, providers or clients who can't handle criticism, or who only see criticism, should probably avoid this website.
 
This section, however, is called "Ask An Escort" not "Get An Escort To Tell You Only That You Wish To Hear." We could all just be phony robots here, but I doubt that would be illuminating or much fun.

Agreed!
 
Corfin Fisher and Sean Cody seem the standard of beauty but at least now we have types like otter, daddy, cub, etc. There's more diversity (believer it or not) among the guys we see as pornstars yet a white face still prevails and is seen as beautiful.
 
Just saying what's out there, not endorsing it!

Also my experience in SFO, guessing it has to do with a combination of 1) extra disposable income among Asian tech bros and 2) the racialized rejection many Asians face from gays who fit the status quo Sean Cody / Bel Ami litmus test of "hot" that conditions the (American) gay community to value one type of look.
 
So you get these beautiful Asian boys hiring to get a taste of that which normally rejects them.

I'm going to assume we're being cutesy here and do not actually believe all services are equal, and that none of us would seriously regard someone who is providing us with sexual intimacy the same as we would treat a plumber.
 
If there is such a thing as a bad client, it would be those who do not consider the delicate implications and complexities of eroticism and who treat those who work in eroticism as disposable. A hospice nurse is not the same as an IT guy. Getting up close and personal with human sexuality (often under the umbrella of illegality and stigma) is not the same as fixing a leaky pipe, puns aside.
 
The flip commodification that happens sometimes in these forums has driven providers I know away from this website. Reducing it all to a mere transaction is icky, whether done by providers or by clients. Off this website where sex workers encounter that attitude, it has made some suspicious and even hostile. Instead, we all need to be thoughtful, because this transaction requires care and thought.
 
There's a reason serial killers often target sex workers. That's an extreme version of a bad client, but it all starts with disregard and disrespect. So let's not even hint in that direction, please. When you hire someone for intimacy, you should not treat him like just any plumber (cue the puns).

I'm going to assume we're being cutesy here and do not actually believe all services are equal, and that none of us would seriously regard someone who is providing us with sexual intimacy the same as we would treat a plumber.
 
If there is such a thing as a bad client, it would be those who do not consider the delicate implications and complexities of eroticism and who treat those who work in eroticism as disposable. A hospice nurse is not the same as an IT guy. Getting up close and personal with human sexuality (often under the umbrella of illegality and stigma) is not the same as fixing a leaky pipe, puns aside.
 
The flip commodification that happens sometimes in these forums has driven providers I know away from this website. Reducing it all to a mere transaction is icky, whether done by providers or by clients. Off this website where sex workers encounter that attitude, it has made some suspicious and even hostile. Instead, we all need to be thoughtful, because this transaction requires care and thought.
 
There's a reason serial killers often target sex workers. That's an extreme version of a bad client, but it all starts with disregard and disrespect. So let's not even hint in that direction, please. When you hire someone for intimacy, you should not treat him like just any plumber (cue the puns).

Again, we who weigh in here should remember we are a self-selecting sample, and not a statistically sound one.
 
After 7 years in the biz, I've come to learn that the folks who participate here do not represent the average escort or client -- and certainly not majority opinion among escorts or clients. Much of the consensus opinion around here is either unknown to or would be laughed at by most clients and providers I've encountered, across states, borders, and cultures.
 
I don't personally know a single colleague who regularly participates here, although I know a few who once did, found it insufferable, and left. Others of us participate cautiously and sparingly. And I can count on one hand the number of clients I've had from here, out of multiple hundreds.
 
So let's keep our egos in check and not make assumptions about silence or non-participation. The "risk of speaking for others" in this case is a risk best left alone.

I'm going to assume we're being cutesy here and do not actually believe all services are equal, and that none of us would seriously regard someone who is providing us with sexual intimacy the same as we would treat a plumber.
 
If there is such a thing as a bad client, it would be those who do not consider the delicate implications and complexities of eroticism and who treat those who work in eroticism as disposable. A hospice nurse is not the same as an IT guy. Getting up close and personal with human sexuality (often under the umbrella of illegality and stigma) is not the same as fixing a leaky pipe, puns aside.
 
The flip commodification that happens sometimes in these forums has driven providers I know away from this website. Reducing it all to a mere transaction is icky, whether done by providers or by clients. Off this website where sex workers encounter that attitude, it has made some suspicious and even hostile. Instead, we all need to be thoughtful, because this transaction requires care and thought.
 
There's a reason serial killers often target sex workers. That's an extreme version of a bad client, but it all starts with disregard and disrespect. So let's not even hint in that direction, please. When you hire someone for intimacy, you should not treat him like just any plumber (cue the puns).

There are studies that people like or dislike someone in the first few seconds they meet. There are numerous studies that good looking people have an easier time in their studies and their careers. Let's accept facts and stop living in an ideal fantasy world.

They perspire a lot and they have skin folds that are difficult to clean. I am talking about obese not a few extra pounds. There is a reason why no one wants to sit next to in planes, theatres, trains.

Low expectations and a gym membership.