Aaron_Bauder

Your example is not "out of desperation" and not applicable to my statement. I didn't say, "No client wants an escort who will shave $100+ to provide a simpler service."
 
I typically ask clients what they're into and whether they want full escorting or something else. If my escort rate seems exorbitant for the "something else," I do offer a massage-type rate instead. Not out of desperation, or even just fairness alone: many of these clients are now more reliable regulars, meaning I end up with more donations overall.
 
Goes back to the original question of smart/good business practice. I know some escorts think being flexible on rates is a dead end slippery slope, but it works for me. Again, sometimes I'm not in the mood, and no I don't ever sell myself too short or sacrifice my dignity, but why settle for 0% instead of 70%?
 
I have a favorite local healthfoods grocer that noticed I was visiting less and less after a competing big box chain opened up nearby. Owners offered me their pretty significant employee discount. Wasn't until budgeting months later I realized I was spending more there with the discount than I ever had before. Clever!

I’m not sure I see what the argument here is about. Everything you’re saying, is basically just saying what @Aaron_Bauder said, but with “exceptions”. Your example is with someone you previously met, who was content with the lesser offer for different reasons than the point Aaron was making.
 
In my opinion, shaving off $100 is not just about the interaction, but clients can also use it to low ball us. “Well my regular so and so charges XXX”.
 
Well, I’m not trying to compete with someone’s regular so and so on a race to the best price. I don’t have to encounter that much on the Rent sites, but adam4adam is notorious for that. And everytime I tell them no. There’s no reason to do all that I do for an appointment, oftentimes requiring booking accommodations, and barely getting a profit...which could be gone by the end of the day if nobody else shows up, which in some cities, is the regular.

Don't feel bad, the truth is always best.
Speaking from personal experience, the only things that rub me the wrong way in regards to rates is when prospective clients expects an unlimited amount of time for an hourly rate(for me 240), or suck at negotiating and offer 60 or 100, which is up to a 75% discount for me. As someone who hires girls and trans gurls a couple time a year, there are plenty of providers rates that fall outside what I would be planning to spend at any given moment. But there are still plenty I would be willing to save up and budget for if the opportunity presented itself. And I rather say "perhaps another time when I have a wider budget" than potentially burn that bridge completely by how a non descript "thanks" will be interpreted and received.

For those who respond with just "Thanks"
 
As an escort, it's impossible to distinguish between just that one word meaning "thanks, not going to work" or "thanks...and subsequently expecting a follow up with availability, or even expecting and appointment if availability was already discussed.
 
Due diligence and consideration would be better appreciated in more clearly communicating that rates are outside what you are looking for. Especially if you attempt to contact them again in the future, you are likely to be given more consideration back then just ending the previous conversation with "thanks".

Assumptions are almost always a dead end, especially ones based on fear. The way to turn it around is to stop assuming all escorts will feel cheated and resentful by negotiations.
 
As usual, vet the reviews. If an escort has 30+ good reviews, really think *none* of those five star encounters involved some price variation? Unlikely. A good escort will provide good service, negotiation or not. Someone who cares enough about their reputation to seek reviews is not going to cheat you out of a good experience over a few Lincolns.
 
Many providers won't negotiate, period, so don't bother to. Many others have some wiggle room, so wiggle. Obviously, no client should want a guy who's going shave $100+ off his rate out of desperation. But if client is 80% there, are most non-desperate, solidly-reviewed escorts *really* going to settle for 0%? Then be resentful and petulant over the cost a few Starbucks trips? Please.
 
Fortune favors the bold folks. Stop letting fear and false assumptions dictate.

Fear of haggling is another of example of these forums being a self-selected minority sample that differs from the majority of clients/escorts who don't post here.
 
Most of my clients don't have a problem with it. I feel it's best, if you have a budget, to be upfront. But I think it's best to give as much info as reasonable in the first 1-2 texts: "Married, discreet, 60s here. Looking for bf experience, you top. Available tonight 9pm, my hotel in Tribeca? Can do 280 roses for hr of your time. Privacy/discretion important. Thanks."
 
The who/what/when/where/how is thus out of the way, and now you can do the personality and compatibility dance for a bit before confirming. Don't understand why w can't just save everybody's time and energy by being direct, clear, concise, and complete.
 
Radio silence is perhaps the worst form of this poor communication, both rude and unclear at the same time. I block clients who do it, and have had some circle back months to years saying, "Been texting and calling, can't get through." When I tell them they were blocked because of having ghosted, then it's "Oh, didn't mean to, something came up." Okay, well just send a text saying "No longer interested, maybe another time" or "No longer available, will check you next trip." How hard is that?

Fear of haggling is another of example of these forums being a self-selected minority sample that differs from the majority of clients/escorts who don't post here.
 
Most of my clients don't have a problem with it. I feel it's best, if you have a budget, to be upfront. But I think it's best to give as much info as reasonable in the first 1-2 texts: "Married, discreet, 60s here. Looking for bf experience, you top. Available tonight 9pm, my hotel in Tribeca? Can do 280 roses for hr of your time. Privacy/discretion important. Thanks."
 
The who/what/when/where/how is thus out of the way, and now you can do the personality and compatibility dance for a bit before confirming. Don't understand why w can't just save everybody's time and energy by being direct, clear, concise, and complete.
 
Radio silence is perhaps the worst form of this poor communication, both rude and unclear at the same time. I block clients who do it, and have had some circle back months to years saying, "Been texting and calling, can't get through." When I tell them they were blocked because of having ghosted, then it's "Oh, didn't mean to, something came up." Okay, well just send a text saying "No longer interested, maybe another time" or "No longer available, will check you next trip." How hard is that?

@noreus88 just douche!

No, I think you could be making a mistake. Some of the best tops that I have enjoyed have been versatile. I have always let them know that I am a btm and not interested in being a top.

I will be forever confused as to why some people find this confusing. When I encounter tops, vers tops, vers bottoms, and bottoms, I personally have zero confusion about that person's role based on these various labels.

Yeah, the flakes and fakes and timewasters are getting worse, exponentially so. The landscape for certain escort demographics has never been great relative to others, and it's getting worse. I've decided it's time to prepare to move on from this industry, and I'm taking steps in that direction. I'll miss meeting people but otherwise not too sad about it, though I have regulars who will be. Not having to deal with stigma, not having to lie to people about what I do, being able to date "civilians"...I feel good about it.
 
Maybe that's a potential course of action for the OP.

If there's a Repugnican in office there will certainly be a recession.

It is refreshing to hear you talk about what you like.
 

 
Interior design sounds great! It's demanding I hear, but in the fun way, according to those who love it.

Yes, obviously exactly the same thing, with the exact same psychological impact, fraught history, social implications and constellation of issues.
 
Very smart, clever, and sane comparison. Good job.

Yes this is very real. Just look at some Grindr profiles. I'm Black and when I find an escort that doesn't have any racial hang ups I'm so surprised. On several occasions I'v been turned down or ghosted when they find out I'm Black. I'm a successful put together clean cut guy and I've still had a door closed in my face by a provider. When they ask my race in a text I just think to myself oh no here we go again. Sometimes they're ok with it and other times they're not. I'm pretty fair skinned and one time I just sent my picture to a provider....we met had a good time and after it was over the conversation about my race came up. The whole time he thought I was Hispanic or "mixed". He kinda looked disappointed like I had tricked him into fucking a Black guy. I just flat out ask if they have an issue before I even try to make plans and waste my time. If you don't want my Black dick then you won't get my green dollars.

Yeah, the flakes and fakes and timewasters are getting worse, exponentially so. The landscape for certain escort demographics has never been great relative to others, and it's getting worse. I've decided it's time to prepare to move on from this industry, and I'm taking steps in that direction. I'll miss meeting people but otherwise not too sad about it, though I have regulars who will be. Not having to deal with stigma, not having to lie to people about what I do, being able to date "civilians"...I feel good about it.
 
Maybe that's a potential course of action for the OP.

Thanks for the luck and prayers lol
 
People are different. I once told a friend who kept demanding another friend come out to certain people to please stop it. I explained why it was not safe (physically, financially, and socially) for said friend to come out yet, or maybe ever depending on certain variables. I counseled him to have the maturity to know that not every gay man enjoys the exact same privileges as he and I did, to live openly.
 
I have made the choices on what's best and what's right for me and my background and circumstances, with relative success -- recognizing that there are gray areas and no perfect choices. I'm talented, smart, and blessed to be good at many things and great with people. I'm excited to be old enough now to trust my decision-making ability, and I am fully confident that I will thrive. Thank you for the well wishes.

I wish I could put double-emojis. It is sad that it’s come to that, but I like how you said it otherwise.

Yeah, the flakes and fakes and timewasters are getting worse, exponentially so. The landscape for certain escort demographics has never been great relative to others, and it's getting worse. I've decided it's time to prepare to move on from this industry, and I'm taking steps in that direction. I'll miss meeting people but otherwise not too sad about it, though I have regulars who will be. Not having to deal with stigma, not having to lie to people about what I do, being able to date "civilians"...I feel good about it.
 
Maybe that's a potential course of action for the OP.

Thanks for the luck and prayers lol
 
People are different. I once told a friend who kept demanding another friend come out to certain people to please stop it. I explained why it was not safe (physically, financially, and socially) for said friend to come out yet, or maybe ever depending on certain variables. I counseled him to have the maturity to know that not every gay man enjoys the exact same privileges as he and I did, to live openly.
 
I have made the choices on what's best and what's right for me and my background and circumstances, with relative success -- recognizing that there are gray areas and no perfect choices. I'm talented, smart, and blessed to be good at many things and great with people. I'm excited to be old enough now to trust my decision-making ability, and I am fully confident that I will thrive. Thank you for the well wishes.

Thanks for the luck and prayers lol
 
People are different. I once told a friend who kept demanding another friend come out to certain people to please stop it. I explained why it was not safe (physically, financially, and socially) for said friend to come out yet, or maybe ever depending on certain variables. I counseled him to have the maturity to know that not every gay man enjoys the exact same privileges as he and I did, to live openly.
 
I have made the choices on what's best and what's right for me and my background and circumstances, with relative success -- recognizing that there are gray areas and no perfect choices. I'm talented, smart, and blessed to be good at many things and great with people. I'm excited to be old enough now to trust my decision-making ability, and I am fully confident that I will thrive. Thank you for the well wishes.

Yeah, the flakes and fakes and timewasters are getting worse, exponentially so. The landscape for certain escort demographics has never been great relative to others, and it's getting worse. I've decided it's time to prepare to move on from this industry, and I'm taking steps in that direction. I'll miss meeting people but otherwise not too sad about it, though I have regulars who will be. Not having to deal with stigma, not having to lie to people about what I do, being able to date "civilians"...I feel good about it.
 
Maybe that's a potential course of action for the OP.

Problem, as always, is the clients who need these lectures aren't on these forums. Clients here mostly have it together.
 
Mostly. There is a bit of crass commodification that too frequently crosses over into dehumanization of providers. Their service is the commodity, but the provider is still a human being and deserving of consideration, care, and respect. Unfortunately, that is often overlooked.

Problem, as always, is the clients who need these lectures aren't on these forums. Clients here mostly have it together.
 
Mostly. There is a bit of crass commodification that too frequently crosses over into dehumanization of providers. Their service is the commodity, but the provider is still a human being and deserving of consideration, care, and respect. Unfortunately, that is often overlooked.

I try not to work after 10 or 11 because I don't want to work with people who have been drinking or doing drugs and I don't want clients who are looking for a "right now" hookup on the fly. I believe this has kept me from a lot of drama and regrets.