boiledeggz

Here's a thought, why don't you get a massage from him and then report on actual facts instead of ruminating on potential outcomes based on an "interaction" you had with him (which if you broke it down was not an actual interaction at all).

They're always named Daniel or Brian lol

They're always named Daniel or Brian lol

this guy gives an awful massage. one move and he did it over and over and over. had to tell him to stop...and ended it.

Decided to ask directly. He makes no distinction between sensual and erotic, so don't ever expect him to fully undress.
 
Still a great massage!

Diseases..... You're exposing yourself. Unless they are just only massage, but let's be real.

Get to an ER immediately and ask for pep. You must act quickly. All the other discussions at this point are moot. It's happened, and you need to take care of this.
The highest risk is in you were the bottom and got barebacked or the condom broke. If you were a top who barebacked, the risk is much less but still risky. If it was only oral sex, then it would be very hard to get it that way because the virus itself is quite fragile.

Get to an ER immediately and ask for pep. You must act quickly. All the other discussions at this point are moot. It's happened, and you need to take care of this.
The highest risk is in you were the bottom and got barebacked or the condom broke. If you were a top who barebacked, the risk is much less but still risky. If it was only oral sex, then it would be very hard to get it that way because the virus itself is quite fragile.

Those aren't his pictures. It's of a bodybuilder in Korea. The actual guy may still be hot, but it's not him in the pics.
 
https://www.instagram.com/junchoiofficial/?hl=en

Bad idea all round. First, how do you know that person is actually a masseur and not a sting operation trying to ensnare people (highly unlikely but possible)? Second, like mentioned above, the potential for harrassment. If that masseur makes a practice of this, they should be named and before long business will dry up and they'll learn this is not acceptable. It will encourage this type of behavior if people budge.

Bad idea all round. First, how do you know that person is actually a masseur and not a sting operation trying to ensnare people (highly unlikely but possible)? Second, like mentioned above, the potential for harrassment. If that masseur makes a practice of this, they should be named and before long business will dry up and they'll learn this is not acceptable. It will encourage this type of behavior if people budge.

EVERY masseur has their own definitions on what "Sensual" or "Erotic" means in their individual massage session. There are no cut and dried rules. There are some "assumptions" we as clients might make about what a "Sensual" vs "Erotic" massage session is. My "assumption" is that in a Sensual massage both masseur and client are naked, and maybe a happy ending. (happy ending not guaranteed) An Erotic massage to me is both masseur and client naked, and a happy ending guaranteed, with maybe mutual touch allowed, maybe oral. But as I mentioned, this is what I ASSUME before I go to a masseur that advertises or tells me they provide a Sensual or Erotic massage. I have been burned on more than one occasion....paid a hefty massage fee ($160/hr) for what I was told was an Erotic massage, only to get a massage by a nude masseur with no happy ending. (He considered being naked "Erotic') So the ONLY 100% way to find out what a particular masseur means by "Sensual" vs "Erotic"is to ask. I have found MANY masseurs to be very open either on the phone or text if I ask re: mutual touch, oral and happy ending. The ones that won't tell me I do not go to. I might end up paying $160 hr. for basically a plain massage by a nude masseur and nothing else. Been there. Done that. Never again. I always ask now and am much happier and always get what I want. No guessing games. No wasted money and time. Just complete satisfaction since I know before I go to the masseur since we have both clarified it when I made the appointment.

So if that's not him.... Can anyone who has seen him give a better physical description? Have read that he doesn't actually look Asian at all?

Thank God for all the Nancy Drews on this board

Here's a thought, why don't you get a massage from him and then report on actual facts instead of ruminating on potential outcomes based on an "interaction" you had with him (which if you broke it down was not an actual interaction at all).

Here's a thought, why don't you get a massage from him and then report on actual facts instead of ruminating on potential outcomes based on an "interaction" you had with him (which if you broke it down was not an actual interaction at all).

The worst experiences in my life have been me doubting my gut instincts. I honestly think we're endowed with that ability to sense danger. I'd have done the same.

It all depends on what they charge. Some are upwards of 180 or 200. Sorry but for an hour that is alot. So *IF* I type (which is most of the time) still gonna be a 20. MAYBE more if they really were awesome.

Thanks, Drained... I do hear you and feel your pain. I can understand your frustrations. But I have some problems with your assumptions.
Like I said, I’m a first gen, literally fresh off the boat (boat people refugee) who grew up in the mid-west, went to a predominantly white school, and friends were all white. I don’t think there was any pretending that I was white or trying to be white. We ate asian food at home, i brought homemade Vietnamese sandwiches or Vietnamese sticky rice (soi) for field trips because i hated wonder bread (hate how it sticks to the roof of your mouth) and we brought egg rolls and fried wontons or fried rice to potlucks. (My mom is an awesome cook and trust me, what we brought were super popular with my white friends - and their parents have called me after I graduated to have her make them for their family get togethers.
Yes, I speak better English than Chinese or Vietnamese, but that’s not by choice. I arrived in the US when I was 8 y.o. after spending over a year in a refugee camp. I only had a 2nd grader education in my native language whereas I had many years of private ESL tutoring by a trained English teacher (it helps that I was the only non-English speaking student so I was very lucky). Growing up, there were very few people to speak Chinese/Vietnamese to so English it is. It’s not because I wanted to be white.
 
What’s my point - check your assumptions. I’m sure I’m not the only Asian who doesn’t fit in your brush stroke. I’m assimilated but growing up, I wanted to look like Leslie Cheung, then Aaron Kwon or Jimmy Lim - they were so pretty. In college, I wanted long lashes like my friend Shaista who also has the most beautiful blue eyes - btw, she’s not white - she’s Persian. My current boyfriend is an Asian who’s tall and buff - not because he wants to be white. He grew up in the project in Sacramento so his friends were mostly African Americans. And being poor, their fun time was playing sports - especially pick-up basketball (did I mention he’s a 5’11” gay Asian).
 
You are right that it’s hard being a minority in the US. But remember, we are a minority so yeah, the prevailing marketing materials will be targeting the majority (whites). I can complain about not seeing myself in them or I can do something about it. As mentioned previously, the awesomeness of current technology means we’re no longer bound by mainstream offerings. Some of the best and most popular YouTube stars are Asians. And seriously, we control our twitter feeds and tumblr accounts and postings etc. We can push or create or represent.
 
And yeah, the white models in ads, on tv and in movies are gorgeous and hot, but ummm, they are not hot because they are white. No one said they are hot because they are white - they are selected because that’s the demographics advertisers are targeting. These models are super young, fit, completely proportional and symmetrical and selected for those reasons. They are chosen specific because they are the “elite” meaning if you look around, 99.9% of the people, regardless of whatever race do not look like them. Same can be said of hot Asian models and black, Latino, Indian, etc. and same of the women. I can agree that we don’t normally see diversity in our mainstream advertisement because the ads are mostly targeting the majority (which in this country is still white). But i don’t agree it’s the whiteness that make the models beautiful. And if you think that’s the main reason, that’s racism (external or internalized).
 
I don’t really understand the need to just “pass” - what am i passing? Do you mean being mainstream? Or do you mean white? I will never pass as white nor do i want to. I’m not even sure why I would ever feel the need to. Or do you mean be desired by whites? Is that the litmus test for being beautiful - to score a white guy? Does he have to be gorgeous or any white guy will do?
 
Or is it to be desired period, because not being or feeling desired is not an Asian only state. I know tons of cute single white boys who complain constantly about not finding the right one. And apparently, being white is not the answer either.
 
I’m kinda not cool with blaming the unfit gyrating Asians for our perceived image in the eyes of white men. I mean it’s not the Asianess that made them act that way. And have you seen all the other non-Asians doing the same thing?
 
Racists will find any excuses so they don’t need your help. I mean, we had one of the best president of all time who is brilliant and well loved worldwide, and he’s black. Did that change how racists view blacks? They still call the cops on blacks as if by being black they are responsible for all the crimes. They still blame immigrants for what one Latino did but mentioned nothing about all the others crimes committed by whites.
 
I don’t hold all white people responsible for Hitler, Lenin or even Trump. And I don’t think badly of the gay white community for the likes of Milo Yiannopoulos, Kevin Spacey and Peter Thiel. Because if we do, there are tons of horrible atrocities committed by white Americans against people of color - such as the Tuskegee Syphilis Study (where US injected syphilis into African Americans to see the effect of untreated syphilis in the black community). The US apologized for the atrocities but I don’t see white people taking the blame.
 
I don’t apologize for the actions of some of my fellow Asians - are they embarrassing? Probably but not because they are Asians - it’s because I’m embarrassed to do that in public period, regardless of whatever race. I think they are brave enough to do dance, regardless of other people’s judgements as long as they don’t hurt other people and not sexual predators.
 
And lastly, you can’t assume that the Asians on Grindrs don’t show their faces because they are ashame of their race - maybe they are not out or want their friends to know they are looking for hook-ups. Or maybe race is not an important criteria. Seriously, they can lie about their race all they want, but if it’s physical hook-up, there’s no way the white guy’s going to not know he’s Asian. So please check your assumptions on this - because it makes no sense.
 
OK - forgive me for my rants - you can tell I’m a bit passionate about this.

...or “you’re not attractive and you’re not penetrating me” if we’re keeping it realistic.
 
@littlenut I’d move on. There are providers from sea-to-shining-sea who will bottom for you. While it’s your money, why spend money on a “maybe.”

Well Drained you could also just ignore the people who give "the look" and not apologize or acknowledge their blatant disrespect. I just don't see how apologizing to someone who is being a dick to you is "fighting the good fight." In my view, that unjustified deference is AS HARMFUL as the desperation of the trolls who have no self-awareness or social graces. You're feeding into the stereotype. If we're talking about projecting conventional masculinity, doesn't that mean not letting people run roughshod over you? It's just a thought.

Well Drained you could also just ignore the people who give "the look" and not apologize or acknowledge their blatant disrespect. I just don't see how apologizing to someone who is being a dick to you is "fighting the good fight." In my view, that unjustified deference is AS HARMFUL as the desperation of the trolls who have no self-awareness or social graces. You're feeding into the stereotype. If we're talking about projecting conventional masculinity, doesn't that mean not letting people run roughshod over you? It's just a thought.

I know it's hard to counter your cultural upbringing, but just as people need to counter their unconscious systemic racism, they also need to shed actively harmful beliefs like apologizing for existing while Asian. They're the ones in the wrong, not you.

Sean, I agree with your points. By no means do I think we are living in a post-racial society. Trump coming into power is a clear indication of how tenuous the issue of race truly is in America. In less than a decade, the US made a hard "correction" in the opposite direction. Discrimination is still rampant, it's just more hidden because no one wants to be filmed and end up on the evening news. And YES... I so agree with your comment that hotness is not owned by any one ethnic group. If you went to any of the circuit parties in Asia, especially Bangkok during Songkran, you'd just be overwhelmed by all the impossibly gorgeous Asian guys on display.
 
Drained, when I refer to the "smart and savvy" Asian guys who date other Asian guys, I'm referring to US born, thoroughly American guys. I do not agree with your interpretation that this group of guys is mostly foreign born. Upbringing plays a big part, but I feel there is something much greater at play.
 
But Drained, you brought up a good point......How can two people in similar environments end up with such divergent views? I think it boils down to the mindset of the individual. Are you an individualist who rejects the false, racist narratives that society forces on you? Or are you a conformist who needs the validation of the "in" group to have a sense of self? The same thing plays out with many gay men. As gay men, we've all dealt with persecution and alienation at some point in our lives. But why do some gay men rise above it and embrace their identity, while another subset of gay men live tortured, closeted lives?
 
I don't disagree with your assessment of the realities of being gay and Asian-American. I just find it hard to accept your reaction to it. It's like how you described your dismay at Asian guys who act desperate. For me, I just can't reconcile in my mind the idea that I should apologize for being Asian.
 
Quoththeraven, you make a really good point. When you really drill down to the root cause of homophobia it's really about society's deep-seated misogyny - the hatred of all things considered feminine or "weak". It's the reason why there's nothing worse for a straight man than to be called a "sissy". The same reason why GAY men reject feminine gay guys, and put down "bottoms".

Some of the points made here, while true to a degree, need to be given more context. First off, not all Asian guys are burdened in the same way in terms of self-loathing. There are a subset of Asian guys who struggle tremendously with internalized self-hatred. And in my opinion those are the ones who are only interested in White / Non-Asian men. These Asian guys who only prefer men of races other then their own tend to have severe issues involving self-esteem because they seek a kind of validation of their own viability and attractiveness through White men. To be clear, I'm 100% for equal opportunity dating / sex. It's the act of excluding one's own race that really disturbs me.
 
THEN we get to another group of Asian-American guys who actively seek out and date OTHER ASIANS. These guys tend to be confident in their attractiveness and place in the gay dating world. They do not pine away waiting for White / Non-Asian men to validate their existence or desirability. In fact, I would say that the majority of under 30 Asian guy prefer to date exclusively other Asians. They are smart and savvy and will not allow society to dictate how they feel about themselves. It's the ones who exclude their own race that wrestle the hardest with feelings of inferiority. Which makes perfect sense, because if they can't find others in their own race sexy, how could they possibly view themselves as sexy / desirable. This deep-seated uneasiness in one's own skin spills over into many aspects of their lives, often resulting in deep depression and loneliness. My Asian friends who are into other young Asian guys have very active dating and sex lives. They're not waiting around for White men to validate them at all.
 
Some of the points made are outdated. Being in my 30s, I have seen things change tremendously in terms of the gay Asian male identity. When I was just coming out, it was just assumed that Asian guys were pining away for some white savior to come and sweep them off their feet. Now the Asian guys are built, sexy, successful, and most want to date other confident, sexy, Asian guys. Things are clearly still not great in terms of discrimination, but they have changed drastically.