Cannon

If I was texting a stranger I'd never met, and they started calling be by a name which I had not given them, I would be momentarily/temporarily taken aback. And I don't just mean regarding escorting. Until anyone gives me their name, it seems quite socially awkward to just start dropping their name as if we've met before no matter how I know it.
 
For example, a lot of us young gay guys have a very big social media footprint. I've hooked up with guys who are pretty well-known through social media, Instagram-fame et cetera. Obviously, they know that information is out there: they're psuedo-public figures. However, I've never ever let them know that I know any more about them than they've decided to disclose to me one-on-one, unless I've noted "Oh yeah, I've actually followed you on Instagram for years." To just start dropping knowledge about them ("How was your trip to Europe you took last month? Your cousin's wedding in Napa looked really fun. Is your best friend Kyle single?") without disclaimer or prompting in our very first conversation ever? Awkard, and doubly so if the conversation is not face-to-face.
 
If someone is using an alias and hasn't given a name yet, that's probably not a random choice. Escorting is, after all, still illegal -- however unjust and ridiculous it is. So I assume everyone involved, client or escort, wants a level of privacy about that which they have not disclosed until trust is built and otherwise noted, or until specific disclosures are asked for.

I would echo what @Kevin Slater said. I understand that you meant no harm but if you had done this to me, I would be startled by it. Just as you have a personal life to protect, so does the companion. Even though you only disclosed that you knew his real name, if he is a bright and discerning companion, he logically is going to wonder what else you have researched. He may wonder if you have been watching or following him, if you are a stalker etc... Remember, at this point you are a stranger to him. If someone discloses to you that they know more about you than they wanted you to know, it can feel ominous. If he didn't have a normal nickname, then I agree with the others who recommend just asking the companion what he would like to be called. I would just chalk this up to a lesson learned for future encounters.

I would echo what @Kevin Slater said. I understand that you meant no harm but if you had done this to me, I would be startled by it. Just as you have a personal life to protect, so does the companion. Even though you only disclosed that you knew his real name, if he is a bright and discerning companion, he logically is going to wonder what else you have researched. He may wonder if you have been watching or following him, if you are a stalker etc... Remember, at this point you are a stranger to him. If someone discloses to you that they know more about you than they wanted you to know, it can feel ominous. If he didn't have a normal nickname, then I agree with the others who recommend just asking the companion what he would like to be called. I would just chalk this up to a lesson learned for future encounters.

I would echo what @Kevin Slater said. I understand that you meant no harm but if you had done this to me, I would be startled by it. Just as you have a personal life to protect, so does the companion. Even though you only disclosed that you knew his real name, if he is a bright and discerning companion, he logically is going to wonder what else you have researched. He may wonder if you have been watching or following him, if you are a stalker etc... Remember, at this point you are a stranger to him. If someone discloses to you that they know more about you than they wanted you to know, it can feel ominous. If he didn't have a normal nickname, then I agree with the others who recommend just asking the companion what he would like to be called. I would just chalk this up to a lesson learned for future encounters.

Yes, you did. You violate his privacy.

How would you feel if he mentioned your personal details?
 
Kevin Slater

I think it was a mistake for you to mention that you found all this "personal" info about him, especially since you have never met him. It freaks people out to feel like they are being spied on. Some people are oblivious how much info one can find with one picture or number. This why I tell working guys to don't use pics on social media on your ad.
 
This is a sticky situation. I understand vetting someone to be sure about the guy, but at the same time I liken it to the government spying on an individual. If someone knew the government was spying on them they'd be in an uproar. Oddly enough people have no problem doing it to other people. Put yourself in his shoes, if he found out all this info about you in the same manner... would you be ok with it? Most wouldn't be.
 
Anyway, most of the guys I've met usually told me a great deal about them selves without me prying or asking. I don't pry, or try very hard not to. The only time I've told an escort I found something personal is after i've gotten to know him at least somewhat. I think most (but not all) guys would be bothered, at least somewhat, having a complete stranger find out personal stuff not readily put out there.

Don't you ever get tired of being a victim? My gosh! Every single thread I click on, you are always complaining and negative about something. I'm Black too and I do not relate to this whole victim mentality. With all due respect, have you ever considered that maybe you have so much to complain about because your attitude sucks?
 

Please mark your calendars for the next Forum DC Gathering, January 12-14, 2018.
 
@ArVaGuy and I have been working the past couple of months to put together plans for next year's gathering, and we'll be co-hosts. As with past DC gatherings, the weekend will span the MLK weekend, and coincide with Mid Atlantic Leather (MAL). There will be a range of get-togethers, culminating in the traditional brunch on Sunday, January 14th.
 
Last year's effort for the gathering had the best of intentions, but fell short when a venue for the brunch was not arranged. No harm, no foul, but not something anyone wants to have happen again. For this next year's event, arranging the venue for the brunch has been the first order of business, and it's been all confirmed. This event WILL happen, and you can start making arrangements with confidence.
 
Along the lines of making arrangements, we wanted to post an announcement early particularly for those interested in booking a hotel room in the MAL host hotel, or one of the hotels nearby. As of this writing there are still rooms at the MAL host hotel, but in year's past the host hotel has sold out well in advance of the event. So if you've been thinking you might want to book a room in the host hotel, you might want to do that sooner than later. Here is the link to the reservations page: http://www.leatherweekend.com/hotel/
 
For those of you who may not be interested in MAL or the leather scene, not to worry! Traditionally the DC gathering has coincided with MAL because it's a long weekend and many of us are in town, but the forum gathering is otherwise independent of the leather activities and is welcoming to all forum members. You may choose to sample some of the MAL activities, or go "whole-hog", or alternatively forgo them completely. That's up to you.
 
At this early stage we are posting so you can plan the dates ahead, book your hotel if inclined, and let us know if you're interested in attending so we can start putting together a head count for the brunch.
 
If you're interested in attending, please send a direct message to either @ArVaGuy or @nate_sf or both of us (direct messages can include more than one recipient). As the date approaches, we'll get in touch with each member who has expressed interest.
 
And if you have general questions or suggestions for the gathering, please do so in this thread.
 
We're excited to be continuing this fun tradition and hope you'll join us!

If you're going to call me out, at least have the fucking nerve to have something good on me
 
You can give me pointers when you've actually achieved something in this business.
 
Until that time comes, pipe down and take some level-headed advice from posters on this board.

Don't you ever get tired of being a victim? My gosh! Every single thread I click on, you are always complaining and negative about something. I'm Black too and I do not relate to this whole victim mentality. With all due respect, have you ever considered that maybe you have so much to complain about because your attitude sucks?
 

Don't you ever get tired of being a victim? My gosh! Every single thread I click on, you are always complaining and negative about something. I'm Black too and I do not relate to this whole victim mentality. With all due respect, have you ever considered that maybe you have so much to complain about because your attitude sucks?
 

Don't you ever get tired of being a victim? My gosh! Every single thread I click on, you are always complaining and negative about something. I'm Black too and I do not relate to this whole victim mentality. With all due respect, have you ever considered that maybe you have so much to complain about because your attitude sucks?
 

Don't you ever get tired of being a victim? My gosh! Every single thread I click on, you are always complaining and negative about something. I'm Black too and I do not relate to this whole victim mentality. With all due respect, have you ever considered that maybe you have so much to complain about because your attitude sucks?
 

Don't you ever get tired of being a victim? My gosh! Every single thread I click on, you are always complaining and negative about something. I'm Black too and I do not relate to this whole victim mentality. With all due respect, have you ever considered that maybe you have so much to complain about because your attitude sucks?
 

Don't you ever get tired of being a victim? My gosh! Every single thread I click on, you are always complaining and negative about something. I'm Black too and I do not relate to this whole victim mentality. With all due respect, have you ever considered that maybe you have so much to complain about because your attitude sucks?
 

Don't you ever get tired of being a victim? My gosh! Every single thread I click on, you are always complaining and negative about something. I'm Black too and I do not relate to this whole victim mentality. With all due respect, have you ever considered that maybe you have so much to complain about because your attitude sucks?
 

Don't you ever get tired of being a victim? My gosh! Every single thread I click on, you are always complaining and negative about something. I'm Black too and I do not relate to this whole victim mentality. With all due respect, have you ever considered that maybe you have so much to complain about because your attitude sucks?
 

Don't you ever get tired of being a victim? My gosh! Every single thread I click on, you are always complaining and negative about something. I'm Black too and I do not relate to this whole victim mentality. With all due respect, have you ever considered that maybe you have so much to complain about because your attitude sucks?
 

Don't you ever get tired of being a victim? My gosh! Every single thread I click on, you are always complaining and negative about something. I'm Black too and I do not relate to this whole victim mentality. With all due respect, have you ever considered that maybe you have so much to complain about because your attitude sucks?
 

Don't you ever get tired of being a victim? My gosh! Every single thread I click on, you are always complaining and negative about something. I'm Black too and I do not relate to this whole victim mentality. With all due respect, have you ever considered that maybe you have so much to complain about because your attitude sucks?
 

LOL. Stereotype much?

It's situational to me. Being a good businessman is not a black or white thing in this industry.
 
For a simple one-hour meet, I don't think wasting even more time to figure out 'why' is needed. People are fickle, especially when they're thinking with their dick.
 
Now, if you were talking about putting together a vacation (or longer span of time together) and things went South while talking it through, yes... That might warrant a gently-worded email as to what turned him off. The same could be said if an escort had seen a client for a number of meets and was suddenly cut-off.
 
When you think you've done everything right and something seems to go very wrong, it never hurts to figure out why.

Only with escorts?

Oh lord. Such drama. Everyone is positive in my book. Only fools depend on honesty.