Rod Hagen

I have relied on the kindness of client-friends many times.  Without my closest client//friends I'd probably be homeless, or have had to resort to a real job (shudder!).  And yes, it could make me feel like a worthless whore to have to ask for help.  At the very least I feel a BIT disappointed in myself.  But Jesus Christ no matter how awkward I feel I continue to thank them, years later.  I'd never ghost someone who helped me just because I feel embarrassed.  Who would.   Someone who isn't doing well. Sucks dude, nice of you to help him.  VERY nice of you to still be concerned.

You may see someone reliably, ie once or twice a year when you visit his city, but for shorthand lets tag regulars as once a month or more.

Reliables are good too!

On 4/15/2024 at 6:46 PM, Vegas_Millennial said:

I have seen similar stories, and it has to do with the mother's built up resistance to a protein made by the Y chromosome from the previous sons.  Mothers build up antibodies with each male fetus.  The presence of those antibodies in later pregnancies affects the development of the male's brain to become homosexual.

We may know why younger brothers are more likely to be gay

WWW.NEWSCIENTIST.COM

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An immune response in some pregnant women’s bodies may explain the “fraternal birth order...

 

Thank you very much, I hadn't read about this study/finding.  Very interesting to me, and it was great that they quoted Dean Hammer at the end.  I loved his study, and I NEVER understood why gays were so opposed to him and his finding/hypothesis.  I have a hard time reconciling Bogaert's Y Chromosome finding/hypothesis, which makes sense, with  Dean Hammer's XQ28 ( I used to have that T-shirt!).  And so I asked Perplexity, which told me this (but I still don't see the connection):

In summary, Bogaert's and Hamer's studies complement each other by providing a more comprehensive understanding of the biological underpinnings of male homosexuality, involving both genetic and maternal immune factors. Their combined research supports the view that sexual orientation has a biological basis, rather than being solely a matter of choice or social/environmental influences. 

On 4/21/2024 at 9:12 AM, rvwnsd said:

 there are plenty of guys who want to kiss.

This!

I have friends in other cities who send me their, unanswered, initial messages to local escorts to ask if I can see anything wrong with their initial message.

DO NOT stress that you said something to upset the escort.  Everyone above is right, for some reason it's become more common for escorts/masseurs to simply never respond.

And if you live in LA, London, NYC.  It's easy to move on.  If you live in Bend, OR and there are only a couple escorts, it become trickier because you have to agonize over how and when to reach out to him again.  Sucks.  People can suck.

3 hours ago, José Soplanucas said:

Interesting. I think cars are more justifiable in rural America. I am all for discouraging the use of cars in cities, and instead promoting public transportation and biking. And I looooove my civic. I do hate SUVs in cities and I would triple the taxes they have to pay. 

Pub Transport, absolutely.  Bikes in the city, not so much.

I go days without looking at the RM app/page.  I do not go days w/o looking at text.  If the convo stays on RM Chat, I won't keep up.  That may be part of their motivation to move it to text, to not seem as if they are ignoring you.  Also, it's a good way to monetize the relationship,  you'll likely feel compelled to make an actual appointment if the convo is via Text.

I've been Mountain Biking for 30 + years.  I have two bikes hanging from my ceiling.  I'm also not sure road biking belongs in major cities and feel very conflicted about it.  I think I land on the "Your not out in rural America so don't act as if you are."  I mean, they lost 71 metered sites just so people can what?  Bike?

Very sorry to hear that.  He was certainly doing crucial, difficult work.

Although it's rated well, this seems awful.  Has anyone (tried to) watched it?  Is there any gay content?  I'm guessing very little.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/B0B8NC4TD1/ref=atv_dp_share_cu_r

I know someone :-)

On 4/12/2024 at 12:00 PM, Rod Hagen said:

You guys watching Sugar and/or Ripley?  I'm enjoying both, although Ripley seems super padded. There's a reason Purple Noon and The Talented Mr. Ripley were 2 hours long.  Still Ripley is GORGEOUSLY shot.  The final shot of him in the second episode, I mean how do you do that?  Andrew Scott is handsome and damn sexy.  But he's not beautiful, and yet that final shot.  WOW.  I can't find the shot online, but WOW.  

I took a screen shot of it.   Amazing.

Thank you.  I didn't know about this.  The script writer, Patrick Gale, is a writer I admire very much.  Look forward to watching this.

Just found this guy. "Ope!  Sneak right past ya."

You guys watching Sugar and/or Ripley?  I'm enjoying both, although Ripley seems super padded. There's a reason Purple Noon and The Talented Mr. Ripley were 2 hours long.  Still Ripley is GORGEOUSLY shot.  The final shot of him in the second episode, I mean how do you do that?  Andrew Scott is handsome and damn sexy.  But he's not beautiful, and yet that final shot.  WOW.  I can't find the shot online, but WOW.  

Sugar.  I've always been annoyed with Colin Ferrel because I'm almost never attracted to beautiful guys.  But he knocks me out, every time.  So beautiful.  So sexy.  The show is stupid, and according to a NYTimes review it changes from a very watchable LA Film Noir mashup to something else, the reviewer wouldn't say what.  I'm guessing it becomes a SciFi.  

Anyway, both men are so fucking sexy.  And so far they are well-made shows.

Watch Sugar - Apple TV+

TV.APPLE.COM

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An enigmatic private detective struggles with personal demons as he investigates the disappearance of a Hollywood producer’s beloved granddaughter.

Watch RIPLEY | Netflix Official Site

WWW.NETFLIX.COM

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A grifter is drawn into a world of wealth and privilege after taking a unique job in Italy. But to seize the life he wants, he must build a web of lies.

On 4/2/2024 at 3:25 PM, DrownedBoy said:

Currently reading Ravelstein, Saul Bellow's final novel.

Pretty interesting, basically an accurate portrayal of the U of Chicago prof Allan Bloom, whose book COTAM I read waaaay back in the day.

I love how the book reveals that the grumpy, moralistic man who wrote COTAM was actually a closeted gay guy who paid 16-year-old boys for sex down in Hyde Park, even when he was dying of AIDS.

Oh I read Ravelstein....didn't like it, really wanted to.  Don't remember why.  Hope you do. I did not know that was his final novel.

I can't believe I'm going to have to subscribe to STARZ, temporarily.   :-)

1 hour ago, Jamie21 said:

Clients can ask for discounts of course. They’ll rationalise it: ‘he won’t mind’, ‘he’s only a sex worker so he doesn’t really matter’, ‘he’s probably desperate for any money so I can get away with asking for a discount’, ‘I’ll feel like I got one up on him’, ‘I deserve it’….all sorts of reasons to justify it to themselves. The response is always ‘no sorry no discount’. 
 

 

Well, I don't think their interior dialogue is often QUITE like that. :-) They are being opportunistic, but not likely consciously disparaging you.  

However, if the escort or masseur feels/assumes that the client asks for less than advertised rates because he sees us as less than and desperate, there will be resentment, understandably, and the hour will likely not be great.

AND now, I predict that since this thread has gotten out of the hands of the clients, the powers that be will soon call it OFF topic (ostensibly because of the word "escort" in a MASSAGE thread) and lock it down.

3 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Sometimes it’s impractical to use a table on an out call (space restrictions, or the client doesn’t want me turning up with a table!). 

Can't imagine how hard on the body dragging a table around town is for folks.  When I see masseurs and Masseuses lugging them, I say OUCH to myself and feel pity.

This is a fun thread.  My instinct is always to raise my eyebrows when I hear a non-thai massage is on a bed.  It seems unprofessional and is horrible for the Masseur's posture, and therefore his spine, muscles, and connective tissue.  BUT there are many masseurs who do bed-only massages for years and years, and so who am I to say, "OY, your aching back!" 

This term "wiggle room" is a wonderful euphemism for haggling in the context of massage because how many of us were imagining a finger pressed on a prostate when reading it?  Just me??  Ok.  Anyway, I hate negotiating, it is insulting, especially when you don't know the guy.  Even when you are friend's and you ask for less, temporarily, I can tell you that the clients almost NEVER goes back to what they were paying once their financial circumstances improve, even if they consider themselves the masseur's friend, and vice versa.  

And yet.  There are times with a new guy, I have said yes.  I'm not sure why, but I have.  I guess I do the calculation:  is this guy using a lame excuse like "I have to pay for parking" (I KNOW I KNOW, it sucks, but if that's a sticking point, find someone else whose parking is free, sorry!!)?  If it's a lame excuse, I'll resent him, and the experience will mutually suck (ha ha).   OR is it a valid negotiating point like he also has a shittily-EARNING job like being a masseur***   , and therefore has no money, but PROMISES to be a regular?  I can also cancel the discount in the future if he proves NOT to be a regular as I see being a regular (monthly???).

So, I guess, yes, you can ask but maybe have a good reason.  I mean, you're utilizing and/or admiring a beautiful man's body for an hour AND he's spending the entire time focused on you (that is what a (good) massage is) maybe consider losing a streaming service or two before haggling.

*** in my original post earlier this morning, I wrote "Shittily-paying", which was dumb because $200/hour is not a job that pays poorly, it's just that massage and escort are jobs that PAY well, but are unfortunately, for whatever reason, difficult to earn well.

Mike Carey, Marylander said Please.  Please is a request, not a demand.  

1 hour ago, MikeBiDude said:

I’m there and buying!

Best Sand Dabs in the world :-)

On 2/24/2024 at 8:18 AM, marylander1940 said:

I would expect an explanation about why it took him so long.

 

If you'd hired him and he was really late, then I'd get requesting an explanation. 

But your not his boss and, on top of that, you haven't even hired him yet for your tryst, so why insist you're owed an explanation from the "pokey" escort about what you see as a delayed response? 

I'm not trying to be argumentative, I just don't understand two things:  1. Why presume the escort is obligated to tell you "why it took him so long" and 2. what does his responding within your timeline have to do with him being good or bad at sucking your cock, or going to dinner, or whatever?

And this is a broader question for everyone, how does the escort being on-demand-responsive relate to his likely performance during the meeting?  

17 minutes ago, nycman said:

He’s not "more worth it" because he responded promptly. Nonetheless I my experience, men who take their business seriously tend to respond promptly and that professionalism often carries over into an amazing performance when we’re together. Does that make sense?

 

It makes sense that it makes sense to your experience, and maybe to most folk's experience, it just doesn't gel as well w/my feelings toward the business.  In any non-emergency business,  I associate a snap-response to snapping fingers as either weak or desperate. I regard escorts available on-demand as desperate and clients giving escorts two hours to respond as bossy.  I'm not saying it's a rational perspective, I'm not saying it probably hasn't cost me a lot of business through the decades, what I now see I am saying is I hate even the hint of being told what to do.

---> dinner at Le Bernardin for decades, but hope springs eternal…….grin

OR a meal at Musso and Frank's!  :-)