Realalist

Be gentle with me because I'm sharing something that I can't share anywhere else that's rather personal for me.
 
I'm a tall mid-30's overweight black man that probably spends more time on RM than any other site. I often fantasize about having an amazing experience with a hot guy to at least somewhat makeup for the disaster that is a my dating life. The problem is that I experience a great deal of anxiety trying to hire someone because of my weight. I've had a number of bad experiences in the free dating world because of my weight and I always feel like that experience will be similar with an escort. Mostly I tend to choose less attractive escorts to mitigate some damage but I feel so ridiculous passing up hot guys I can afford because of this fear. I just want to feel wanted and validated. Does anyone else share these feelings?

No it isn't appropriate for two basic reasons: the OP didn't ask for advice about his weight and we have no knowledge about his genetic/environmental/medical issues. There are many reasons for someone to be overweight and a large number of them are not directly controllable. Without far more information, we have no idea and no valid basis to say something like was said above. We don't even know if he's medically obese! All he's said pertains to the extreme lookism he's experienced. The statements by gymowner and others are loaded with implicit assumptions based on illusions of "control" and "will" that are frankly condescending and elitist. Given what's been shared so far, those comments are counterproductive and potentially harmful.

This is an inappropriate, insensitive, tactless, self-centered response. I'd suggest joining a group that can help you with sensitivity and ego issues. Set up small goals such as reading the room and being sensitive to others' concerns. Learn no to imply that others need to change to match your perceptions. There is synergy within positive momentum. Take the first step. We all want you to succeed and not post responses like this again.

A little tilt here internationally.
 
Many older and/or "rubenesque" clients hook up with hot muscle gods in Brazil spa brothels, providers who do not discriminate based on appearance and charge the same ridiculously low rates. Perhaps the OP is in a position to visit Rio with a batch of Magnum condoms and get the self-consciousness royally fucked out of his system.
Including octogenarians who need help on the stairs (not kidding).
 
Also somewhat the case in Barcelona.
 
When in Santo Domingo the main client group on apparently successful 'search trade and destroy horniness" missions appeared to be African American men, the majority of whom would be considered clinically obese.
 
Similarly,where there are North American strip clubs, performative attention may help desensitize image concerns.
 
That said, I agree with a little effort the desired trade can be obtained locally, and that internal locus of control is worth pursuing.

Condom for oral is a deal breaker. Life is too short

I always was so hooked in find me a SC o CB guy. Mostly old school SC 2009 2012. The ones they have now are not the same. Back in the day none has a tattoo, I prefer them tattoo free, but that is me. I remember me all over trying to find one of them that was also an escort, sex Tumblr use to have all this myths about those guys, that they sign a NDA that they couldn't escort. Like SC police was 24 hours with them. Wondering who were the lucky ones that were able to have a night with any of those hot men. Then, I gave up, never found one SC model. Besides, it was mostly west coast thing. Also, the Dirk Yates boys. Gorgeous men.

Nope. Nothing in the law prevents police from misrepresenting who they are, or even outright lying.

You connected the dots - thank you

The point you are missing that in addition to a photo, this photo is attached to potentially explicit text as well. I'm pretty sure that most are more worried about that considering a picture is worthless without context.

Matt, you are a nice guy and I want to meet you one of these days.
 
However, think about what you wrote.
 
If an escort got a photo of a potential client from the rentmen site, there is no way that the photo cannot be traced back to rentmen. Then, with the photo and messages sent back and forth between the potential client and provider, plus the photo, bingo, you have a connection that puts the client at risk for extortion.

This question has come up periodically over the sixteen years I have participated on this site. I believe that I’m the buyer in this market and not the seller. I always provide the escort with whom I’m communicating a complete physical description of myself including age, weight, height, ethnicity and physical condition. I NEVER provide a photograph
 
My refusal to provide escorts with a photograph has absolutely nothing to do with issues of discretion or insecurity. It has totally to do with what I consider an appropriate request and an inappropriate one. I usually hire escorts based on their photographs and self- descriptions on rentmen. If they accept clients on the basis of physical appearance I believe that they seriously need to consider an occupation change. If an escort required a photograph of me for ANY reason I would find that request insulting and immediately terminate all further communication.
 
Now if my memory serves me correctly I have NEVER been asked to provide a photograph by a prospective hire.

Those two things are not equivalent. The fact that the client has seen pictures of the provider does not obligate the client to reciprocate. This is a transaction, a quid-pro-quo, not a date. The provider offers his face and physique—the “quid”—and the client offers money—the “quo.” If the provider has to vet his clients for attractiveness then he’s in the wrong business.

That logic seems flawed.

That logic seems flawed.

That logic seems flawed.

That logic seems flawed.

"Not sure if I feel comfortable doing that, as some providers use that tactic to discriminate or only see attractive clients."
Or "I can/have sent you my stats. Not sure about sending a pic, may I ask why you are asking for one?"
Factor their response into your decision to proceed or not.

So, you mean how do escorts get fake reviews posted on their behalf from older accounts. Two explanations come to mind: (1) the older accounts belong to someone involved in an elaborate scheme that new fake escorts tap into; or (2) the reviews are not fake.

He's not. He's using the pictures of a little known artist named Anthony Lewis. He actually just got off Tyler Perry's Madea farewell tour. He messaged me after I went to his profile (which is the first time that has ever happened to me) and blocked me after I mentioned how it was going to be hard for me to book him while he was on tour with Tyler lol. Hot XXX stuff though. I don't know how I'm supposed to trust RM when this obvious fake has multiple positive reviews.

Unfortunately, for me at least, once they even make the offer the relationships is over. They are not going to pay it back and it's going to get weird when they don't. Once they ask.....CUT THEM OFF!

He's not. He's using the pictures of a little known artist named Anthony Lewis. He actually just got off Tyler Perry's Madea farewell tour. He messaged me after I went to his profile (which is the first time that has ever happened to me) and blocked me after I mentioned how it was going to be hard for me to book him while he was on tour with Tyler lol. Hot XXX stuff though. I don't know how I'm supposed to trust RM when this obvious fake has multiple positive reviews.

They can't "grab" the phone when they've never put it down. HA!

If I am asked for feedback I give it.
However, from my perspective, my meetings are an investment of money and time. I know before he/I walk out the door if we will ever meet again. The money is a sunk cost however I am rarely interested in increasing my time investment when I know I’ll never recoup it and my unsolicited feedback may generate a negative backlash, no matter how constructively it’s delivered.
The laptop guy I mentioned above is a grown-up and not new to escorting AND he is a really book-smart guy. Clearly the perils of ignoring the guy who just left an envelope on your dresser eludes him and I’m not his dad or boss. If he asks I’ll tell him the truth but if he doesn’t care then why should I.

Swallows. :-)
 
Seriously: light chat while we're both dressing. Provide the funds. I hold the door open.

Not only is he smoking the funny stuff. He must be popping it. Wtf. How could anyone, find him desirable?