I wish I had something useful to contribute, but I've never had to deal with your circumstances. You mention in your post that it was a "few nights ago" that the confrontation occurred. That is very recent, perhaps with a little more time tensions will wane to the point that constructive dialog can begin. The one piece of advice I would like to offer is to not mention your hiring an escort. Should things deteriorate to divorce proceedings, the hiring of an escort may be more harmful to your case than an extra-marital "fling."
I hope that sometime soon we will be able to read a post with news that is more uplifting about your situation.