WmClarke

"Straight to bed with the closest cute guy!" while moving close to him would have made things clear.
 

Not a bad start...for a preppy "straight" dork.
 
Just kidding. I'm proud of you for taking the first baby steps.
Remember, none of us were born into "gay" culture. We've all
had to stumble in the dark and find our way. Some of us did it
at 18 and some of us are just crossing the threshold for the
first time at 80.
 
There is no "right" way.
Give it time.
Be open to meeting new people.
Learn to embrace all the colors of the rainbow.
Relax.
Have Fun.
Say "yes".
 
How do you solve the “top/bottom” mismatch?
 
Plain and simple in your opening line...
 
“Hi my name is XXXX...I’m a bottom”
 
The bottoms will drop you like a hot potato.....
and the tops will buy you a drink...or three.

Well, a loo-oong hiatus in this thread, but in my saga of the boys' lives I mentioned I'd been seeing someone on and off. We met doing volunteer work at Walter Reed Military Hospital, bringing meals to those staying at the Fisher Houses, home-like places where families of people in the hospital for a long time can stay, and those doing rehab for a long time as well. So lots of wounded veterans with their spouses, and sometimes with their children, along with retirees being treated for cancer and such things. About 20 of us go once a month. There was a very friendly guy, great at talking with the vets and their families, and I liked him, but as I've said, I have zero gaydar, I had no idea he was gay. Mid-30s, I thought, although I later learned he was closer to my age, about my height, very much a "guy next door" type. nice-looking and fit but not model-handsome. We talked about work a couple of times, he heard a lot about the boys, and he said he'd never been married but came close once.
 
After a few months, we were the last ones to leave one time, and he suggested going for a beer. Sure. So we each drove down into Bethesda and went to a way-too-hip for us pub and shot the breeze. And eventually the light dawned even on me that he was flirting a bit, holding eye contact and smiling and sometimes just looking at me without saying anything. I, yes, blushed, I think, but I responded in kind. By now I thought of him as a friend and didn't want to make it awkward, but clearly we were both thinking the same thing-- this could work. Finally he said he had an early day the next day, but when can we do this again? I gulped and said, I'm flexible, and he said, "That's good to know." GULP! So we made a date-- a date!-- for the next weekend, went to a play downtown (George Bernard Shaw's Candida, a play about marriage and love...), held hands walking back to the car (I had picked him up) and when we got to his place, a condo in Columbia Heights, there was an open parking space in front. He invited me in. I said yes.
 
This was late September, and we've been seeing each other ever since, not every week, but now and then. It's odd in a way that I'm not feeling "love" so much as comfort. He's a good, good guy, he works at a great non-profit, and at this point I'd say we're close friends with benefits taking our time. Before you ask, we are very compatible sexually, he's a total top and I'm happy on the bottom so that works. One thing that may be TMI-- he's bigger than I'm used to. My first couple of hires were very hung guys because that fascinated me in porn, but since then I've generally been with more average-sized men. He is not average and it has taken some getting used to. But he knows he's big and he's sensitive and patient so it's been good, and as I say, I'm getting used to it!

It sounds as if all is going well for you and the boys. Have a great holiday season. There is a small point I think we all should appreciate, you were concerned about how all this would work and it has worked out well. The lesson is, life is hard enough, don't overthink it.

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. The boys are all home and we went to my folks' for dinner. Navy Twin's girlfriend was there, and the two of them went to her family's later dinner! Older Brother's GF is with her family in Boston, and I think he would have gone there, but he had to go into the office he's interning at today.
 
OB spends most weekends at his girlfriend's place, from Friday evening to Sunday. Navy Twin and his long distance romance seem to be thriving, and I know she's gone to Annapolis a time or two for a weekend. I haven't asked if he stays at her motel if he can get overnight liberty, but it wouldn't surprise me. And DePaul Twin seems to be playing the field in Chicago, at least a bit.
 
I have been seeing someone on and off for a couple of months. I don't think it's serious but we're having a good time. Older Brother has met him and likes him. What a change from the past! I met the guy doing volunteer work at Walter Reed, with a group that serves meals at the Fisher Houses. He works for a non-profit, is about a year younger than me, and is very handsome-- I think some of the women in the group are jealous of us hanging out together. Older Brother spending weekends at GW means I can have him over or go to his place with impunity-- I have not yet brought a guy home with any of the boys here but I have stayed out. (I always let them know if I won't be coming home, LOL.)
 
Have a good weekend all. We'll watch Navy play Houston Saturday all together with a bunch of their friends over.

Thought I would separate this topic from the Palm Springs Weekend thread. As I have aged I have come to hate long flights more and more. Living on the West Coast, as I do, means Europe is, at least, a ten or eleven hour flight. I still have a couple more European trips to do but that will be enough for me. I am planning a non stop flight to Singapore which entails being in the air for eighteen or nineteen hours. I am going business class and if the price gets too outrageous before I plan to go I'M NOT GOING. Three to five hours is about all I'm up to anymore. That consideration will allow me to visit most places in the United States, Canada, and Mexico and that's just fine with me.

1. The erection doesn’t ache (to begin with). In my experience it does begin to ache after several hours, immediately prior to it wearing off, as your penis is so hard and engorged with blood for an extended time. But by that time it just feels like you’re walking around with a steel bat and it’s not painful but it’s not very comfortable either.
2. It feels amazing until you begin to get sore after several hours.
 
If it aches from the onset of the erection, I’d recommend a lower dosage. But Trimix is a quick fix for ONE THING, a flaccid penis. It does nothing for your libido or thought process surrounding sexual encounters.
 
Injecting (if done properly) doesn’t really hurt even if you have a moderate tolerance for pain. It’s about as “painful” as getting blood drawn. The visual of a needle being inserted into your penis might cause you to sweat and delay the first couple of times lol but you’ll get use to it if you’re using it regularly.

So. Navy twin went back to the Yard almost a month ago, and signed his commitment papers. Midshipmen can leave the Academy during their first two years with no need to repay or service obligation. But once they start their Second Class (junior) year, they're committed to serving for at least 5 years after graduation. He's in for the long haul.
 
Last week DePaul Twin flew back to Chicago on his own and is back at classes. Older Brother is here at least through December, when his Hill internship ends. His hope is to find a job that will let him get an apartment. In DC that probably means with roommate(s) but he won't mind. His gf has started at GW Law and has a solo dorm room, so there's already been a lot of time spent there-- no overnights yet but some pretty late arrivals home.
 
It is, of course, nice to have him here. For one thing he gets up early and makes coffee!
 
This summer, it was Navy Twin with whom I had the most searching conversations about sexuality and my social life. He really wants me to find someone, which is so touching. Anyway, after two years on my own it's yet another "new normal," with my eldest as roommate. We carry on.

I love to see kissing, rimming, oral, playing with cum, two guy who are really into each other, verbal partners, the start of anal--that initial insertion is great! Flip fucks are hot!
 
I hate long stretches of anal close up. Show the faces!
 
But what I really love is the transition from one position to another. For some reason that really turns me on--perhaps because it's something 'authentic' in what is usually an artificial production. So, naturally, I also hate editing where it jumps from one position to another and we don't get to see the guys changing the position.
 
And the magically appearing condom is cute. But it's hotter to see them put them on. Even better, I wish they would put the condom on each other!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07QQQ52B3
 
It's gotten a lot of attention lately and it's a really fun show. Not quite the script I'd have liked, but I think they'll fix some things in S2.
 
And yeah, there's a ton of superhero eye candy, tight spandex and this show singlehandedly gives Chance Crawford the 'Ryan Phillipe Constant Ass' award for best filmed cheek shots.

Worlds of Ursula K. Le Guin
 
The first woman to win the Hugo and Nebula awards, for The Left Hand of Darkness.

No kissing, No appointment

Lol what?? None of this is true and it's very sex-negative and shameful to put this false information out there.
 
Will your ass be tight as a virgin's after fisting or sex with large dicks/toys? No of course not.
Will you become completely incontinent and unable to pleasure a man? No of course not.
 
If you properly and patiently train and expand your hole over time (months/years) and use plenty of lube during any experience involving large dicks/objects/fists, your hole will become pliable and easy to work open, but it won't be a loose open mess of meat curtains as @sexymonk describes.
 
Education people!

@BabyBoomer wished me a Happy Father's Day, which was kind of him. I thought a quick report was in order.
 
It was a great, quiet day. Older Brother mowed the lawn and did yard work (Yay!) and DePaul Twin made a great dinner like last year. No word from Navy Twin today but he'd warned us he'd be at sea with spotty email access. After dinner we were going to watch a movie, and we browsed Netflix, we came across "Queer Eye." I have watched it a couple of times but none the latest season. They both said EVERYBODY at school watches this! So, a little nervous, I agreed, and we watched an episode, Lost Boy, about the scraggly camp counselor who wanted to make a place for him and his son. The situation is nothing much like ours but enough so that we laughed a lot. They started teasing me about which cast member I was most like. I stayed out of this conversation but they settled on Karamo, personality-wise. (Okay, I'll confess, I was hoping for Antoni, but whatever they say.)
 
Never in a million years would I have imagined this conversation last year. Happy Father's Day to all the fathers here. And the sons and daughters. And the "Daddies" too!

As I was saying...
 
Well, actually, I haven't said anything lately, have I? So sorry for the long gap. @gallahadesquire checked in to see if I was okay (thanks, you guys are great!) and that reminded me that while the coming out saga was a big part of my story it isn't all of it. And my job has been insane all year. So, a quick update--
 
On May 18, my oldest son graduated from Fordham, Navy twin could not be there because of training duties, but otherwise the whole family was there. He's got an internship here in DC for the summer, then needs to decide what to do vis-à-vis job/grad school. Interesting wrinkle, his gf will start at GW law school here in the fall, and I suspect that may inform decisions. They are still serious and I would say are engaged in all but name. He's older than I was when he was born!
 
DePaul twin will be home next week so I'll have two in the house for the summer. He has indeed entered the 5 year BS/MS program and loves Chicago. He and his gf have, I think, finally called it quits, amicably, and he was seeing a girl at school but says it's not serious.
 
Navy twin is in San Diego, poor kid, for a training program called "Protramid," or Professional Training for Midshipmen, He'll spend weeks with Surface Warfare, Submarines, Aviation, and the Marines so can get an idea of where he'd fit best. Right now he says Navy pilot but is keeping an open mind. He and his gf are still making it work.
 
After I came out to them there were quite a few talks, and eventually a few questions along the lines of "How long have you known?" "Did you always feel this way?" etc. I later learned that each of them, separately, contacted my brother-in-law, their uncle, to talk about it. He was very amused.
 
And me? Well getting more comfortable, have gone out with a few guys but not rushing anything. The boys did come play basketball and were a big hit even though they murdered us, as I predicted.. Driving home I asked what they thought of the group, and DePaul twin said, "They're cool, but you can do better." Wait, what?? His eyes flew open and he said, "I mean you could find better PLAYERS!!"
 
Anyway, one at home, soon to be two. With Older Brother's gf coming to DC he may stay in town, although I suppose that might mean them moving in together. Anyway, life marches on.

The difference between a hustler and a good escort is that a hustler will take advantage of that emotional baggage every single time.
 
Sure, while it's fine to tell yourself that this is 'just business,' it's a lot more than that for some guys. Escorts can and do enjoy their work, their clients, the sex, the conversation, the friendship, a bond. Only the truly jaded think that that's not possible.
 
Is this how many of us make our living? Yes.
Does this involve the exchange of money? Yes.
Does that mean that's all we focus on? No.

If you haven't had a chance to see the Broadway company of Waitress, I'd say now is the best time to go.
 
Bean is with the show until early May.
 
https://www.broadway.com/videos/159266/exclusive-watch-shoshana-bean-belt-out-she-used-to-be-mine-from-waitress/?page=1#play

I used to want children.
 
But now that I’ve got two millennials in their 20s living at home again, I am rethinking that decision nightly.

Loved the “fuck mountain” speech from Bud’s new mother-in-law this season. As silly as the writing usually is, it does have its moments.
 
Brianna is my spirit animal. I love her. She just cracks me up.
 
Ethan Embry (Coyote) just gets hotter every season.

I've never had sex with someone whose body was really jacked. Other than with someone obese enough to put limits on positions (this can also happen because of arthritis, etc.) and the guy so skinny his ribs dug into my side, the state if their bodies was a non-issue. Probably the best lover I've had has a little wine gut. (I can't call it a beer belly because he doesn't drink beer.)
 
Within reasonable parameters, it's not the shape or size of the body that determines sexual prowess and satisfaction, but rather skill and dedication.
 
(Kind of obviously, I'm describing sex with all partners, not just escorts. None of the people mentioned above are the two escorts I've seen, either.)

In a sense it is unfair how the movie floats along at the beginning, that we should accept the subject matter is worthy. And then suddenly, it is. Very worthy and inciteful. Food for thought, as a good documentary might want to be.
 

Kathy Bates was photographed this week looking like a new woman after reportedly losing 60 pounds following treatment for cancer.
 
The 70-year-old actress, who beat ovarian and breast cancer, is currently battling lymphedema, which she developed after getting lymph node surgery. The condition has caused painful swelling in her limbs.
 
But recently, the “American Horror Story” star said she is “feeling great,” according to People.
 
“I’ve lost a lot of weight and it’s really helped with my symptoms,” she told the outlet. “I just still have to wear compression sleeves or guard against nicks and bug bites because that can lead to sepsis.”
 
Bates, who was once told to keep her health struggles a secret to protect her career, has become a national spokesperson for Lymphatic Education & Research Network to spread the word, as symptoms can often be misdiagnosed as simple weight gain, she said.
 
“Some doctors think it’s cosmetic and not life-threatening …So it goes undiagnosed and the disease progresses for years and gets worse and worse,” she added.
 
Bates was honored at the WebMD Health Heroes event this month as the 2019 “Game Changer” for her efforts to increase awareness of the condition.
 

Often. Attractive physical attributes do not equal phenomenal sex.

Never confuse pretty gift-wrapping with solid, time-tested technique.
 
Some of the best sex I've had was with guys who were normal, everyday gents.
 
On the flip side, some of the worst sex I've had was with the 'hottest' looking guys. They were entirely too self-aware to just let go and give into it.