ApexNomad

I hate this thread so much I had to read it, think about it, and then comment. That’ll show ‘em.

Perhaps. Or perhaps it’s a combination of factors. Some people still want that added layer of protection, even with today’s medications. For others, it’s about routine, comfort, or a sense of control. Condoms can help in case of accidents and add a barrier for potential messes. While for some, barebacking carries emotional significance and is something they reserve for specific partners, or dare I say, partners they love. There are many reasons, and it’s not always rooted in trauma or fear. Everyone approaches this differently.

It helped him, and that’s enough. And if impacts only one other person, that’s a bonus.

Joan was a comedian who made a career out of off-color jokes and provocative remarks. I’m not her mouthpiece, and I’m certainly not here to defend every line she ever delivered over a six-decade career. What I can speak to is what I’ve seen—both publicly and personally. Joan was a real advocate for the LGBTQ+ community. She publicly endorsed marriage equality and officiated same-sex weddings. In the early 1980s—when AIDS was still widely misunderstood and feared—she hosted one of the very first major AIDS fundraisers at Studio One in West Hollywood. She was warned it might hurt her career. She didn’t care. She was also deeply philanthropic. Joan was a longtime supporter and board member of God’s Love We Deliver, a charity that provides meals to people living with severe illnesses, including those with HIV/AIDS. When she passed, she left a substantial portion of her estate to them. She paid for the education of her staff, their children, and even their grandchildren—not just random schools, but private schools and Ivy League universities. And on a personal note, for over a decade, I received a beautiful orchid from Joan every single year on my birthday. That kind of doesn’t make headlines, but it says everything you need to know.

@FrankR would also have you believe in a separate thread that tops are blissfully unaware when they’re fucking without a condom. That dicks trip and fall into assholes. But as he said, let’s not fool ourselves about the sequence.

Bea was famously introverted and guarded, sometimes misread as aloof, but those close to her described a fiercely loyal friend with a sharp sense of humor and an unwavering sense of justice. She also served in the U.S. Marine Corps during World War II—a fact that many fans of are still surprised to learn. She never spoke about it - only came out via the National Archives. At the age of 21, she enlisted under her birth name, Bernice Frankel, and became one of the first women to join the Marine Corps Women’s Reserve, which had just been established. Her official records list her as having worked as a typist and truck driver, and she achieved the rank of Staff Sergeant before being honorably discharged in 1945. Bea Arthur, US Marine | The National WWII Museum | New Orleans WWW.NATIONALWW2MUSEUM.ORG Bernice Frankel's Official Military Personnel File reveals a Golden Girl's WWII service history.

In many ways, she’s very different from the persona on stage. She’s funny, obviously, but I found her to be very generous and warm. If you haven’t, you should watch the documentary they did about her — A Piece of Work. Fascinating. I was at a few dinner parties of hers and she took an interest in all her guests, including me. Genuinely interested. She really took care of her own. She loved jewelry and fine art. She really prided herself on her QVC line - she wore her pieces proudly. She really did. It wasn’t a show. She always looked fabulous.

Exactly. Otherwise you end up with The Golden Palace.

If you’re looking for a real man, try becoming one first.

Her penthouse was gorgeous. Especially in-person. Met her through David Dangle. Did not like what they did with the renovations after it was sold. She had great taste. She was brilliantly funny, of course, but very thoughtful and smart.

Thanks for clearing that up—wouldn’t want to think a bottom left you so helpless that you slipped, tripped, and fell into raw sex. Twice.

I’m not saying it doesn’t happen. I’m not saying a bottom can’t take initiative and slip his ass onto an unwrapped dick during the heat of the moment. What I am saying is this: if you’re the top, and you don’t realize you’re fucking without a condom—and then you choose to keep going without one—that’s not a misunderstanding. That’s willful ignorance at best, and straight-up dishonesty at worst.

Spare us the poetic shades of grey. This isn’t nuance, it’s nonsense. Imagination has nothing to do with it—accountability does. A top knows when he’s not wearing a condom. Full stop. Acting like it’s some surprise twist is laughable. You didn’t trip and fall into him. You made a choice—own it.

You look amazing! 👏

I read that a second season seems unlikely. It was intended as a limited series. One and done. But it’s doing well on Netflix so anything is possible.

Look, a top knows when he’s not wearing a condom. Period. Quincy chose to fuck raw. So did you. (And that’s fine btw!!) BUT, let’s not rewrite the scene like it’s some non-consensual ambush. He had ample time to stop, put one on, and take accountability. That wasn’t an accident. That was a choice.

Yes you are. That we agree on.

Not with me he wasn’t. Revisionist history at its finest.

So let me get this straight—you’re the top, you only use condoms, and yet the bottom somehow managed to “slip himself in” not once, but twice—and you just didn’t notice there wasn’t one on? For the entire time you were fucking the bottom? Is that what you’re saying?

Unless his ad specifically states “Bareback only,” go out and buy them! Let’s not be cheap and selfish. (I’m also paying for his Uber to/from.)

I reached out to a provider recently—gave him my description, stats, exactly what I was looking for, and let him know upfront that I wanted to use condoms. Everything seemed great until we got to that part, when he started explaining to me that bareback would be much more enjoyable. He went on about today’s medications, “sign of the times,” yadda yadda. As if I wasn’t aware. Whatever my reasons are—they’re my reasons. So he said, fine, but that I wanted him to wear a condom I had to bring them (he told me which kind he prefers). Much like you, I got the sense that his reluctance would affect the vibe and make for a less enjoyable encounter. So I passed.

I LOVE gay bears!!! All of them. In my opinion, a gay bear is the kind of man who doesn’t just walk into a room—he claims it. Broad-shouldered and grounded, there’s an earthy confidence in the way he carries himself, like someone who’s weathered storms and come out stronger. His body isn’t carved from marble—it’s built from experience, from comfort in his own skin. A belly, thick thighs, strong arms wrapped in coarse hair—he’s the kind of man you want to fall asleep on and wake up tangled in. He smells like leather, cedar, and a hint of danger—equal parts protector and provocateur. His laugh is deep, his gaze disarming. He doesn’t need to perform masculinity—he is masculinity, in all its raw, sensual, vulnerable glory. And when he touches you, it’s not hurried or hollow. It’s deliberate. It’s possession with tenderness. A bear doesn’t just make you feel wanted. He makes you feel safe—and that, in a world that constantly asks queer men to shrink themselves, is the ultimate seduction.

Because it’s never too late to live in truth. Even at 83, shedding shame or secrecy can be liberating—not just for him, but for others who see it and feel less alone. Visibility always matters. Especially now!

Seems like an odd choice to spin a musical out of. Admittedly, I’ve never watched the show so I can’t really say. Only read about and seen a few clips.