Mocha

EXACTLY. But that's what some people on the forum (not referring to the OP) can be so pigheaded about. When one does talk about business being slow, others want to talk some shit and say it's because the escort does or doesn't this, or that...namely how they participate on the forum. America is a very competitive country, I'm realizing. Everything is a competition. You can be doing everything right, but still not be where you want to be, because so many people are doing the same shit you're doing. One of my clients wanted to give me a speech about how he's able to find guys like me who would want to date him without monetary expectations, but that he chooses me. So, for some reason I should feel entitled to do the same. Well guess what, I've got plenty of clients across the country too...so I said, F**k You. I've had to retract my agreement on raising rates, only because it's not always about clients wanting to pay less. Sometimes you've got to do what you got to do. Plus, with lot of other things going on, we don't want to raise it on the basis of it seeming like a punishment or reliant on any other factors, unless it relates to the cost of doing business with them. I would raise my rates, because I spend a lot of money...and in some cases, if I charge too low, that money may never reach my account. Hotels, gas, ads, phone bills, etc. A one price minimum or model doesn't work for every sitch. I'm not going to turn my nose up at $250, even though I may have a penchant for $2,500.

No one, it’s the mother f-ing twilight zone right now. So insane it’s a goddamn shame Love it, but...you have to count it down and let em have it T style, like I would do: 1st off: he wasn't my boyfriend. 2nd of all: He may have thought he was my future fiance, but we now all know that he thought a lot of crazy things. 3rd of all: could you just delete that post, and I will delete this one? 4th of all: Let's let sleeping dogs lie, okay? Or should I say sleeping pit bulls? 5th of all: The whole thing caused a tremendous amount of pain to a lot of good people who tried to deal with him in good faith, starting with the moderator of this site and going on down, and including me. 6th of all: It will do no good to resurrect his lies and bullshit. 7th of all: Thankfully, it's over. 8th of all: Please let's just hit delete, okay? http://78.media.tumblr.com/e67d13a45356f851e81bd057b950421a/tumblr_n886ydf4Bd1r83v9wo5_250.gif

Though I've been a steady regular at the gym for years with no more than a 3 week hiatus, I did find what helped for me was to leave the big conglomerate warehouse gyms, and switch to a smaller gym. But not local, small gyms because I travel and need to be able to access the same gym all over America. Small in size, but national in coverage. The Walgreens and CVS of gyms. I started at Bally, they were bought out by 24 Hour fitness. I now go to Anytime fitness, and I love them. Planet fitness is okay, but they're not everywhere like Anytime fitness. There's been times I would pull off the interstate in the middle of nowhere, and sure enough there was an Anytime fitness. I didn't have that freedom with 24 hour fitness. Granted, their weights aren't as expansive as 24 hour, LA fitness, and maybe Golds...but who needs all that? I'm am escort/masseur...not training for the NFL. I get the workout I need, plus it forces me to specialize on muscle groups, and stay in the gym no longer than 90 minutes, versus being tempted to do long, overtraining workouts with every machine at my disposal. I wish gyms were a bit more cruisey friendly though. I know some people who can make it work for them, but I usually end up hitting on the wrong people and feeling dumb and embarrassed in the process, so I rarely ever do it anymore. I’ve exchanged numbers with guys several times from the gym, only for them to not realize I was hitting on them and never saw them again lol. Couple of times I’ve run into guys from the gym at the gay bars...and the gyms weren’t even gay nor did they give off a vibe lol. I did meet a client tell me recently (he's MWM to a woman and has kids) that one of his fuck buddies happened to be a Black dude who showed him his dick in the shower at his gym. Some people are just good at that kind of thing, but I'd feel a bit thirsty and perverted. I rather stick to gay bars, apps, and escort sites for my sexual ventures.

It’s all fun, but sex and meeting new people gets isolating at times. Sometimes having that security of same ole same ole is good too. At the same time, sometimes one has to do that regardless. As I’ve said before, the reason why these hookup apps are doing so well, is because everybody is looking. Even the guys with jobs and friends and play on gay sports teams, are looking. Mofos lie and say they aren’t looking for anything. Well why is the Ho on Grindr Fo? He’s looking. I feel that until something becomes officially monogamous (and not just after a couple hot fuck sessions where it sounds good), I’m just going to keep myself open to interactions. I think that’s the sensible, responsible, non-clingy way to be. I’m not going to worry that I’m cheating, just because I feel all gushy inside about someone I went on a couple dates with...and will likely not go anywhere after those 2 meets. ...but I did go on a date tonight and I’m feeling all gushy inside (no, I don’t mean in my ass), let’s see if I can practice what I preach or will I get hooked lol.

That’s what de-motivates me to do the shoots sometimes. I recently had to argue with 2 photographers I did shoots with last year, because one didn’t return all the photos, and the other did a somewhat rushed shoot with his (high pixel) camera phone. They both keep claiming what they did is standard. However, after my latest shoot in Palm Springs where the photographer shot for an hour and gave me all my photos (which turned out to be my best photos to date)...I was like, for now on, I’m going to start asking to either pic my own, or have the whole set. And in some ways, I like photo shoots to coincide with business. I had to turn down this latest photo shoot because Atlanta just isn’t best for escort biz for me.

Idk, I feel it’s always good to update pictures. New background, different poses, etc. at the same time, I’m 30 so my looks have evolved quite a bit and continue to do so. I like to stay updated. At the same time, I did 3 shoots last year...and it can be exhausting. That’s not including the travel/hotels that can usually be involved.

I'm really contemplating deleting it. I use it because it keeps me connected, and I use it for getting things I feel are important out there. But I'm starting want nothing to do with old acquientences from Denver. At the same time, I think it may be better to just naturally let people drift away/un-follow those who I don't know well rather than delete all together. What really gets me about the whole thing, is how I'll either meet someone in the bar or go on a couple dates with. We exchange Facebook. 2 years later, I'm seeing these people post all of the time, and I'm like...why. Then if you ever cross paths in person, they don't even know you. One of my latest dates added me on Facebook, we were supposed to hang the night before he left to Miami. He flakes, then posts the next day that he's in Miami. Little trifling ass mother bro...

Lol, well I for one never really hung out with people from work anyway. So that I don't really miss. There were people on occasion, but not regularly. At the same time, I wasn't always looking to stay in those positions I was in anyway. It seems like some industries favor "my co-workers are also my best friends" more than others. Well you don't have to be an ass about it. I'm just speaking on a general level as it concerns the social aspects surrounding it. There's nothing to run away from, just saying as a whole...it can be isolating to a degree. Granted, I have friends and acquientences and know where to socialize if need be. But most of these interactions are with new people, whereas conventional interactions are defaulted thru work and co-workers.

Though this wasn't directed to me, statements like that are why some bills get passed into law. The escorts need mental health, but not the suburban kid who's affluent home is host to all kinds of artillery. Or the client who calls an escorts 6 times in one night, but then claims they never made an appointment when it's time to meet up. Instead of agreeing to disagree, you call someone to need mental health. We can't make changes, if clients don't hop on the bandwagon too. We can't fight for freedom as a unit, when there's oppression still coming from the other side. Support has to come from both sides.

Another escort poster mentioned signing up on Modelmayhem, to find photographers for professional pics for your profile. I have been a member of MM for years. It's definitely a great site (though the censorship of it over the years). I have had oppurtunities that have allowed me to take photos from coast to coast, and everywhere in between. Most of them were to advance my ads. I've also done shoots where I only received partial amount of photos taken. Generally speaking, in the photography world, this is acceptable if the shoot is being done as a "trade for time". However, I've put much effort into traveling to places and studios/hotels/apartments for shoots. Sometimes the photographers themselves would also be traveling. In some cases, I would wait days or weeks for photos to be returned, only to receive the ones they picked. I've also reached out to other models who had been jipped on getting their photos returned. So yesterday, my concerns over whether I'd get the pictures I wanted, made me decide to not take what might have been an amazing shoot in Atlanta. Recently, I've had to come up with a policy that works for me, that photographers can agree on. Have any others had to come up with a strategy around taking professional pics?

Hotel bars sound like too much work. I wouldn't even know where to start with that, though I've definitely heard of guys suggesting it. I mean, how would one even begin the conversation of being paid? I've done the bar hustle thing briefly or on occasion, but that's been at gay bars where there was already a door opening to make a move. But even that, is too much. I don't mind posting an ad and waiting for calls. I'd rather get that 1 serious call. I don't care for flagging down clients or playing all kind of tricks and schemes (not saying that's what you're doing, just speaking in general). That was the pitfall of Craigslist. One had to do all that to get clients, but you'd also go thru a lot of no's to get there. I can't imagine that same level of rejection in real life. And despite being in the game 10 years, I'm still a Black gay male escort. A very niche market. Even if they are game, will they want to pay? Clients can be far and few in between, if I'm looking in the general public. For example, in Orlando I have to travel 30-40 miles from where I live for most of my appointments. When I do end up at a client's hotel, it's $20 to park. That in itself would make it not worth the effort. Don't get me wrong, it definitely sounds enticing and I would love to expand to gyms, hotels, and bars...but I can't imagine it being a replacement to online though. Most every business relies on the Internet, we wouldn't be any different. I do think business cards would be a great way to use in conjunction with it, but I'd want to keep it very massage based.

Change of topic: Does anyone ever long for the regular life once in awhile? Though I enjoy the escort life, sometimes I miss the oppurtunity to have group or co-worker activities that many speak of. The social scene has become so popularity based. The past 2 years have been a challenge to maintain dates/friendship circles. I often have a whole list of people on Facebook (which i keep separate from escort affiliations, unlike Twitter) who friend me. I’ve gotten away from adding random people, and even had to “unfollow” people who are constantly posting about themselves, but don’t input on mine. I feel once they see I don't post pictures with groups of people doing crazy stuff every weekend, they drift off. Most of the time I just post trip updates or things I’m thinking, and it’s the same 4 or 5 people who I keep in touch with. I don't have a big extended family, coworkers or belong to gay sports league (which is a topic in of itself). I feel for the most, dudes nowadays are only as interested as to what you do with yourself to attract the most Facebook likes. For example, I know of 3 people, 2 of whom I'm supposed to be "talking to" who went to Miami's gay pride this weekend. Not any of them asked me to come along. Granted, I haven't known them that long...and I know how dramatic those events can be (not to mention the passing of a friend around this time last year, after a wild night in Miami- not to mention The Orlando gay bar shootout has changed the way I view big, drunken gay weekends...that “missing out” on some things can actually be a blessing). At the same time, I’m kinda over it. It's the exclusion from activities that make me want to say forget all these miscellaneous acquientences, and get into something more conventionally organized. That’s why I’ve stated, despite our clients being great people, they can’t always take the place of a boyfriend or social life. We have to make our own.

Definitely sounds like a big mix up. Btw I thought massage drew was a masseur, but sounds like he's a client? Sounds like he had other stuff going on. Typical gay drama that happens when trying to meet someone. I deal with it all the time, but sometimes the person who is guilty of being inconsistent wants to place blame. They're the ones who are flakes, but then they try to make like YOU'RE the flake: Like last week, one guy (non-client) tried to flake on me claiming I was taking too long. Barely 30 minutes passed after he said come over. Even though he lives right across the street pretty much, I still had to shower, etc. When I got there, he's already with the attitude saying I took so long. I said, would you have made it to me faster? NO. So STFU

That's exactly how I felt. Which is what bothered me. A lot of guys have this sense of entitlement because they're older or wealthier or whatever the case may be. That's bullshit. Mother foes do not have a free pass to belittle or humiliate someone. Overall he was a good client, but I think he got too playful and pissed me off a bit. I remember a similar situation where, during a 3 way, guy reached out to signal to me to do some thing. He was trying to be too controlling of the situation. He should have just chilled. Unfortunately, he scratched/cut the side of my face like 1/2 an inch from my eye! I was done at that point. I took the money, got dressed and walked the fuck out. Our time was already winding down anyway, so it wasn't a runner so to speak. Similar to how @Caramel_Finest973 explained, it's a blurred line between admiration and assault. Usually starts with admiration, which makes it not seem like assault. Like I said, I've had other guys do it...and even though it was with good intent, the cumulation of such shenanigans is going to make me react differently going forward. But definitely, next time I'll be like: Did I give you permission to do that? Look em in the face real serious like, "do it again, my rate QUADRUPLES".

I'd driven 2 hours plus crossed a Bay of water, and communicated with him for 2-3 days prior. He was a good host, beautiful apartment, and overall sexy looking for a client lol. But I did leave, after that 3rd time. Also, to be clarify...there was no discount as I put it. It was simply that he did one of those thing that @VictorPowers explained a few days ago: The ole short on a $20 thing. I wasn't going to bring it up, but after that...I went ahead and brought it up. You're not going to beat me up AND short me money. Hell, if Floyd Mayweather can get $365,000,000 to get punched in the chest, my body is worth $365,000,000 as well.

I didn't realize it would be so annoying up until today. But I don't know why some guys think I put all this work into my body, so I can be used as a punching bag. Had a (fairly muscular/in shape) client piss me off after getting along great, until he punched my chest (I guess in a kind of playful fetish way) while I was off guard. He was doing it a couple of times before that, and I didn't mind. It didn't hurt, because it's all muscle. But then he did it after I came, surprised me and made me clinch/slip my teeth, and I told him to back off me and don't fucking do it again. I'm not getting paid for that shit, these front crowns cost $1,800 and my gum felt kinda sore after that. I was going to let him slide with a slight discount, but after that I told him needs to pay up. Why do some guys do that? Next time it happens once, they're going to get 1 warning, then I'm walking out. Mother fuckers take it too far and don't know when to stop.

I'll have to say that's likely a by-product of being in (as I suppose you have stated) New York. I've never worked in New York, but I would imagine if its anything like the stereotypical image, you're dealing with a lot of people who...aren't known for being the friendliest. I wouldn't be surprised if even the occasional escort messes you over. I've gotten to where I no longer like to even speak on the phone to clients who I can't text screen out first. And my texts are very direct, like an attorney's contact info form. If they can't answer the questions, they won't get thru. I find what helped cut down on even those initial 75% bad seeds, is to weed them out ahead. Snip snip, nip it in the bud. I won't hesitate to address and speak to the haters, while simultaneously marketing in my ad. http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/a4/a4a6c0c0d3598d4f032cd0f48c7b73fbcf457a2717af54b56390d81122aee47b.jpg

Do it! Somebody needs to step in. It would surprise me if he does sign it though, his own First Lady is with him for nothing more than his riches because I know damn well, ain't shit going on with that. He a trick and she a ho. A high class, elite ass ho at that. The mistress of an adulterer twice married. The hell can they claim holier than thou. Hypocritical mutha fu.....He pull some shit like that, Putin can gone on ahead and send that bomb to West Palm. I'm trying to get the fuck out of here before that shit goes down. I think they meant perhaps have the phone number directly in the ad. It's relatively easy to find it in the contact me button. I think they did it before this, as a safety measure. Perhaps if an escort ends up missing, they can trace back the number....as you have to click on the escorts phone number in order to dial them.

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2018/02/fosta-would-be-disaster-online-communities

Lol...nah it’s not just that. Trust me I’ve run the gammut. I’ve had a couple of friends who seem to had to fight within themselves and tell me, if we were to have sex, they are either afraid A) they’d like it too much and I’d have to quit my job or B) it would make things awkward. Now, I’m not saying I haven’t had sex with friends. But, it usually started as a hookup, then friends with benefits. I don’t really like that type of stuff because it’s kinda in a grey area. They could up and start “talking” to someone else at any minute. Then that person gets jealous when they see us around (especially when it’s white guys who date black guys, the black guys get super jealous and do all sorts of bullshit to create drama in the “friendship”). At the same time, it’s liable to happen in any situation. I remember in Denver, most of the fights that broke out..was usually because one or either person didn’t claim the other person. That person (usually gay guy) gets caught kissing another gay guy, and all hell breaks loose. I know I sound jaded and bitter, and maybe I am a little. But, I’ve been thru a lot. You’ve definitely given me a different perspective though, and for now I’ll just ride it out. I think I’ll try to just become like every other gay guy: meet guys for hookup once, and then never meet up again/play games after. I’ll look like the bad guy, but atleast I’ll be ahead of the game. Repeats will be reserved only for paying clients. But I’m just being facetious. There are some good guys out there. I believe most guys want to make a good impression. I also realize my situation isn’t really conducive to dating anyway, as I’m not all the way settled into one place. So that in itself is a reason to not get bent out of shape over relationships that likely won’t go anywhere anyway.

Thanks for clarifying/explaining, but the part where you mentioned having sex with friends, doesn't make sense to me lol. Not saying I don't agree with it, but I've never had close friends who I have sex with, in the way you describe. Maybe this is where the differences between race, gender, and culture come to light. In America, having sex with friends is seen as "weird". Once you're friends or "friend-zoned", any sexual relations apparently throw things off. Unless you're friends with benefits, in which case that's just periodic hookups, which are usually sex based and on par with "open-relationships" in the aspect of freedom and commitment. The other thing is, I feel many gay guys in America are bigots. I couldn't tell you how many times I've met guys who are happy to play in the bedroom, but never quite make it to doing anything outside of the bedroom. Again, that's fine for paid encounters, but some of these guys try to convince me there's a relationship in that. How? I even had one guy play for months as if I was his boyfriend. But all he ever wanted to do is fuck. Never once hungout beyond his bedroom. I went along because he was so fucking cute, but I didn't get the relationship I wanted. That's too the plight of interracial dating, which I do a lot of...and have had to evaluate? Most of these guys, whether they're White or Latino, see their Black "dates" as sex toys, not an actual person with feeling. I thought Latin guys were different, but they're just as flaky and phony as the White guys sometimes. If I were to ever not let it get sexual on a date, they want nothing to do with me, and will move on to the next dingaling. That's exactly what happened with the other White guy I thought I was dating in Denver. Everytime we met, he was horny. One day, I didn't feel like cumming...and he broke it (our flings) off after. He now hits me up everytime I visit, and I just blow him off, and not in the way he wanted. That's why many of these guys go ghost without even feeling a guilty bone in their body. It's sad. That's why I rather escort, so I atleast get to meet people who make me feel like I'm deserving of something. Most gay guys who hookup for free are just nasty: liars, cons, and will just dog the fuck out of you.

I can understand what you say, but I think that’s where I am different from other people. You said exactly what I heard someone say years ago: I don’t do repeats. But why? Everything you mentioned is plausible, but it seems to discuss it as it relates to hookups, versus actual dating. What if you took the sex part out of the hookups, would that make it only friends? Or could you have someone you want to be with, without necessarily having it sex based? Lol...very true. But as I explained above, the client encounters tend to be confined to specific times. So to me, being an escort isn’t a cure for loneliness. Especially considering, for 10 years, Saturday nights after 6 pm are usually the least likely night that I’ll meet a client, followed by Monday. And it’s the night that MOST people are out doing things. That’s why I often find, Saturday nights without set plans are the hardest day of the week for me to get thru. The best way to get past it, is to plan a date or go to the club and mingle. At the same time, the baggage and complications are real. Since my last “boyfriend” in Nashville that ended last May, pretty much every guy I’ve hooked up with outside of escorting, has not gone beyond 1 or 2 meets. Sometimes it seems like it could, but they either have a sex motive, or they are just not ready. Earlier this year I almost lost a client, because I went out my way and postponed a trip, to meet someone who I thought was interested in rekindling something. Only to tell me a few days later, he wasn’t looking for anything. The frustration don’t end there. The first guy I mentioned earlier in this post, he told me last week he’s moving to New York for a job. So that’s unlikely to go anywhere anyway. It’s like everytime I try to get into something, it just doesn’t go anywhere. It doesn’t help when I had a client who was trying to move into relationship realm with me. His reasoning was, that I needed to get a job at the Mariott, and perhaps that would open me up to meeting some better people. I told him thanks, but I’m happy in this business. The reason why all these hookup apps are so proliferated, is all these other guys are going thru the same thing...and I’m sure they have “regular” jobs. I wish there was something I could inprove to change things, but very few times do the guys I date give me a reason for not going to the next level. If they do, its always something very shallow and vague. Other times, it has to do with an ex or new fling who stepped into the picture. I believe what it is, most average American GAY GUYS want someone who’s all tattooed up, smokes pot or other miscellaneous, or has cliques and connections. I have connections, I just don’t have cliques. It’s all superficial. It’s all about what can you do to make THEM look better. Gay guys nowadays don’t maintain relationships because they’re so preoccupied with the SELF. Right now I’m in Florida. Flake central. I don’t know what it is about this place. Likely the fact there’s just too many options here. These guys out here play so many games, it’ll put a player to shame. It extends beyond the gay dating scene...to the straight scene, to the person coming to paint your house. Lies, lies, lies.

I’ll alter your question slightly and take it that you’re asking, if the time I spend personally, differ greatly from clients. Absolutely. For the most part (key word), most client encounters are very specified, and confined to the time/setting taking place. There’s a duty to be discreet, and no one usually knows the 2 of us are meeting. Which is fine, as it’s appropriate for the interaction. Constrast that to a couple of weeks ago: the 26 year old guy I met, started out our first meet on a Saturday night at a bar. Then, we went to another club and I met his brother and friends. I spent the night at his place, met his roommate. The next afternoon, we went to brunch, followed by meeting a group of his friends at this upscale rooftop bar in downtown Orlando. The following weekend, we met at another rooftop bar, introduced me to more of his friends and my friends, and we had a blast. That kind of scene with clients may happen once every few months over an overnight or dinner. But even still, there’s no twerking or meeting friends/networking. However, I have had instances where a client and I have gone beyond the encounter and did things such as skiing, hiking, and being out on the town having a good time. But that’s still VERY RARE. Many clients aren’t looking for that type of openness.

Thank you very much! I always try to bring real life topics to the forefront. Everyone learns something. Wait, but whose avatar is that of a nearly capsized boat? Maybe YOU are the tragedy.

As an escort (or client), I wonder if some of us avoid the gay playing field for these reasons: I hooked up with a guy once last year, and then again recently this year. Somehow, we ended up talking keeping it 1 on 1. We've met 3 or 4 times since, but it was apparent the sex was all he wanted. So, benefit of the doubt. But a couple weekends ago, I heard nothing from him until after 10:30 pm on Saturday. By then, I had decided to go back thru my messages and hit up someone else who I wanted to meet before. We made plans to meet, but ended up at the same club the other guy was at (it's a small world). We had a great time, as I kept the situation in check. Now, I may sound like (and was accused of being) a "player" for doing that. But, I had that talk with him already. If all a guy does is hit me up for sex, that's not boyfriend. That's hookup. And that's not right to leave me waiting all weekend, to get an answer on if we meeting. The other guy seemed much more into me as a person, not a sex toy. So we kept in touch. Fast forward, both guys are playing games (ghosting/inconsistent with making plans), and I'm considering to drop both of them. The original 1 on 1 guy: he's made passes at other guys and been asking me if I know someone for 3 soms. Which validates he wasn't even serious all the while. I had already toyed with the idea of stopping encounters with guys outside of escorting. But I can't decide how to do it. I could either ONLY do platonic hangouts (which is very hard) or I can ONLY hookup with them ONCE or TWICE, and then never hit them up/see them again after that. Thing is, I don't want to be like the rest of the American gay culture that promotes that type of lifestyle. Many guys confess to habitually and purposely cutting guys off after 1 or 2 meets. At the same time, I prefer not devote my entire social/sex life to escorting. Not all clients have the time (or money) to spend an entire day/weekend. For example this past Saturday, despite the 2 no shows...I had a 2 hour client pre-booked. It was great, but I didn't have much else to do the rest of the night. It seems like the compromise would be to continually expect to meet new guys each weekend, with no expectation of it going beyond 1 or 2 meets. Issue is, if I'm constantly on the prowl, that can become a distraction to organizing my time for clients.