Mocha

Oh yes! I forgot to mention Michigan. My 1st time going to the area year before last, I made it about 24 hours in the suburban Detroit area before being pulled over. Reason being: I went thru the Yellow light. Ummm...isn’t that what you’re supposed to do when the road is icy and you reach the dreaded “point of no return”. No ticket of course. Just a “checking to see who you are” I call em. I always just go along with whatever they claim I did, especially considering I was 1 light away from my hotel ??‍♂️ I figured, that’s why I mentioned it. What happened?? (You can private me to discuss if prefer). You wouldn’t even have to get pulled over. Every time I’ve gone to Arkansas, if I tell some regular Joe Schmo person I’m from out of state, it’s like, “what are you doing in Arkansas of ALL places???” I should probably say there’s some other states I haven’t mentioned that I’ve not been stopped, but I’ve heard can be common: North Carolina Louisiana Oregon South Dakota New Jersey

Would they go? Probably. Would I go? Probably not. I don’t chase conventions. It’s never worth it. Hotels going to be thru the roof, or booked up. Any clients who do book could cancel due to all the annoying reasons related to such events. The clients who would be able to meet would likely be the call at 10/11 pm, asking if I can come to some massive labyrinth hotel downtown in 5 minutes because the conventions run late, then people are horny/tired after. Understandable, and if I was nearby or available I would. But it’s just not my pace of working. I would go if I was specifically invited to go, and could drive/fly there and back without concerning myself with lodging.

Don’t worry, this is not another race thread. But, I caught this story the other day as I was traveling thru the same area: https://cbs2iowa.com/news/local/iowa-trooper-shared-suspicions-about-possible-google-threat Now, I have no affiliation or understanding of the person at hand. However, stories like this makes me feel like it gives law enforcement more reason to suspect that a single male traveling alone is up to no good. Over the years of traveling, I’ve gotten it A LOT. The fact that this guy ended up in a ditch and didn’t have any luggage traveling from Maine to California is irrelevant. All the times I’ve been stopped while traveling out of state, I get asked where I’m going, where I’m coming from, who I’m going to see. And I carry about 100 pounds of luggage (which is why I rarely fly) It’s ridiculous. At the same time, there’s so much going on in this country that’s suspicious, it’s almost as if they’re just following a process. I’ve only gotten 2 traffic tickets in 15 years of driving, out of the dozen+ states I’ve traveled to. But I’ve gotten pulled over far more times. The usual questions: what am I doing in this state, am I traveling with a large amount of cash, have any weapons or drugs, etc. It’s crazy. Some days I almost feel like I don’t have the freedom to travel without constantly having to worry about being pulled over. Over the summer in Wisconsin, I had a totally bogus experience which included a K-9 dog and waiting inside a police cruiser for 45 minutes. The offense: an expired Temporary tag from a vehicle I bought earlier in the year. But which was made to look like a complete fuckery of a situation. After that, I did a free consultation with an attorney who gave me some solid advice. I was also pulled over AGAIN the very next day in a different county of Wisconsin on my way to a client. Another K-9 unit. But I’d already explained the previous days encounter, so was let off. How all of this relates to the biz, it’s important that if any providers are traveling across state/country, to just be mindful. Definitely no carrying heavy drugs...though poppers aren’t. Also, police love to ask lots of question, some even asking me the NAME of the “friend” who I’m going to see. Once even asking me where my dad works (usually trying to catch you in a lie by asking irrelevant and repeated questions). Here’s my list of most likely states to be pulled over (usually for simply having an out of state tag) : 1. Texas (mainly the Houston/Dallas areas) 2. Florida (especially the panhandle and Miami) 3. Wisconsin (mainly during the summer) 4. Kansas/KCMO (all areas. Mainly I-70 out of Colorado) 5. Tennessee (hit or miss, mainly along I-40) 6. Colorado (mainly if you have out of state plates, have been stopped for no reason) 7. Nevada: (was once stopped after traveling north out of Las Vegas after Palm Springs weekend) States where I’ve been several times but haven’t been pulled over: 1. Arizona 2. California 3. New Mexico 4. Utah 5. Georgia 6. Virginia/Maryland/DC (though I do worry) 7. Arkansas (though I’d still use caution)

I’m actually intolerant to bananas myself. Haven’t ate one in years, though I can do banana flavored things and plantains. I think a pie I had earlier this week had banana. Thank goodness I wasn’t expecting a client that night. The Indian guy running the hotel front desk could hear my stomach rumbling and see how urgently I needed to check in lol. After that I took my usual wormwood/black walnut that I use as a preventive bug remedy. Out of respect for the OP, I’m just going to sit back and smile like a lady and say “Thankyou”.

You’re ABSOLUTELY RIGHT again. YES I did. And? Grindr is a sleazy app. What does that have to do with bars and bathhouses? Grindr is sleazy not because men are hooking up for sex, but because people use that app in a way that gives sleaze to it. Going on an app where most messages include 10 dick and ass pics and saying “hi” before even know my name IS SLEAZY...because Grindr was never marketed as a hookup sites. Bathhouse on the other hand, it’s marketed as a place to find encounters. Therefore, it’s not sleazy, it’s simply operating in the manner it was designed for. Atleast in a bath house, you can pick and choose who’s dick or ass you see. Grindr is just like...SURPRISE! Here’s my dick and ass!

Theres 2 pages of conversation with no drama. So certainly not looking for it. I just made some “sense of some scents” (I’m just having too much fun with these words) to someone, and they got a little huffy about it. It was not intended to be huff material. If someone wants to make statements, they need to have something better to back it up rather than, “someone I hooked up with off an app”. Don’t feed me bullshit, then tell me it’s chocolate lol. I’ve been told at various times throughout my life by other gay men (and it’s mainly only other gay men who say stuff like this) that my ethnic group stinks, or is dirty, etc. so yeah, I’m going to speak up about it, and make “sense” of it because it doesn’t make “scents”. By the way, I didn’t intend to imply anything by saying I’ll hold onto my coin. I was going to clarify it, as I figured someone would take insult to it...but I’m not going to walk on eggshells exclaiming “I didn’t mean it that way” for everything I say.

I’ve already experienced it hun. I think I’ll hold onto my coins for now ? ??‍♂️ Well thanks everyone for participating: sounds like we’ve cleared everything up so far. We can all draw our own conclusions, and try to make “scents” of it from here.

Scent, smell, fragrance, odor. What do they all have in common? They’re all ways of describing the same thing. You didn’t clarify 2nd paragraph, you simply stated who you last hooked up with, and then prefaced it with “I notice THEY have a scent”. So....how am I supposed to interpret that? Nobody is slut shaming. Now YOU’RE taking something I said out of context. The reason why I referred to it the way I did, is because you base a “scent” on someone you met in a manner that probably exposes more “fragrance” than say: going out bowling together would. That’s like me going down on a woman orally, and then saying all women have a distinctive “scent”. Ya think??? Well, I shouldn’t base that off of something that I choose to place my nose or mouth at. Clearly, the guy you mentioned had no such “scent”, until you guys started getting “into it”, in which you mentioned you stopped. So that tells me up until that point, there was no clear “scent”, otherwise you would have “sent” him home the moment he walked in. And you’re absolutely right I have 3 soms. I can be freak nasty. I’ve had 4soms, groups, etc. Couple Sundays ago I was invited to a swingers club, did a 3 way with 2 guys, 1 white/1 black while 3-4 other people watched. But guess what? There was no “scent” to be described.

In both cases: never did...had to repurchase everything.

It’s a security concern...

I never believed the thing from the start...I was one who felt it was an inside job all along. However, there’s some people who say the Chicago PD aren’t legit either. But for the most part, it’s pretty evident that the whole thing never made sense from the get go. HOWEVER: this is not anything to laugh about. There’s no victory in this not happening. Shit like this pisses me off because this will only give people (specially, the police) more reasons to give young gay blacks less clout when crimes actually do happen to us. Years ago when I was 19 (I’m 31 now) I was riding home with someone for the 1st time when they flipped shit, threatened to stab me, made me get out the car without my backpack (which had My house keys, wallet/ID, glasses) and drove off. When I called the Miami police, they #1: showed up, then drove off without taking a report, #2: then I went to the station, they didn’t believe me, questioned my story, accused me of prostitution (I actually was in school and had a normal job and had never done this). #3 when I tried to file complaint, they were going to arrest me for lying about willingly riding with the person. So, things do happen...but then the police do little to nothing when it’s a gay black man involved unless the gay black man is the criminal. Just like it took them 6 hours to show up when someone broke into my car in Phoenix and tried to ring up $400 worth of stuff on my credit card at Walmart. Sad but true.

I used to see a client who would start ALL of our visits over drinks or dinner. I actually got to know most all of the restaurants in a city hanging with him lol. That said, if you do chose a pub or bar (and it sounds like you’re going early anyway)...try to choose a place that’s suitable. Some places, specifically sports bars just aren’t suitable for “arranged” visits. I wouldn’t want to go to a college frat bar, and my client is in his 60s or 70s. I’ve done it before, and I’ve grown to really not care what people think, but do I get slightly annoyed when people keep turning their heads looking at my table. I also don’t like going to pubs with clients when there’s a big game/boxing match going on (then again, when is there ever not a big game on?). Only because the crowd can be a bit distracting when you’re trying to coddle up to each other, but suddenly and repeatedly here loud cheers. I’m also not fond of people who can’t hold their liquor, and it’s not appropriate environment when with a client...so that wouldn’t be suitable either. I remember one night, one of my former clients who is rather short and older...took me out to a pub on a Friday night, full of rowdy hot college kids. I felt really out of place and uncomfortable. And that’s not to be judgemental, this was after the session so it’s not like I wasn’t attracted to him. It’s just the atmosphere wasn’t “fit” for younger guy/older guy situation. I did very much enjoy a wine bar that @tanman4u took me out to over the summer. Super classy, mixture of ages/ethnics, and everybody occupied with wine tastings and such.

Ummm...50 miles? Whom and where? If they’re staying 50 miles out, it’s got to be for other reasons than saving $50. I routinely stay outside of the city center, but can’t think of where I’d need to stay 50 miles out to save $50. Now, when in DC I’ll absolutely stay atleast 5 miles outside of town. Over there, you have to pay for yourself and your car to sleep. Recall being invited to stay with a friend for free at a convention center hotel. $60 to park, valet only. Each morning before 7 am, I’d have to go down and move my car into a separate adjacent garage because they offered a $13 “early bird” rate. In by 9, out by 5 I think. Then, back to the street, do it again the next morning. Did that shit for 3 days and was so OVER it. And then all my clients were outcalls that week ??‍♂️ Nowadays when I go to DC, I may do 1 day in the city, and then mainly stay in Maryland or Virginia. Has worked for many years. Next time, I don’t think I’ll bother staying in DC at all unless it’s in the residential/NW of town because it’s just too much production trying to park and valet in DC. Plus I get laid more in NOVA and Maryland lol.

Btw, I wasn’t disliking your post...but rather just going “womp, womp, womp...” Thing is, it doesn’t have to go south. I think people can really learn something new here. We have to address these things, else people are going to continue carrying these mythical stereotypes and preconceived notions. And they don’t help, they just continue creating divisions in the MSM community. My point EXACTLY. And that’s the point I’m making to @RunnerGuy. He seems to justifiable believe based on an encounter, that a certain ethnic group now “smells”. What I’m telling him is it has nothing to do with that. It’s offensive when someone thinks a certain ethnic group “stinks”. Regardless of how they describe it. I don’t care if they say all of a type smells like Roses, but Roses stink. Nobody naturally smells like Roses. Only Victoria’s Secret and Bath and Body Works can make you smell like Roses. Likewise, no one naturally “stinks” until they die. But if you don’t floss, properly wash, brush your teeth, or eat foods that leach thru, you will stink. Now, the EXCEPTION: if someone has an illness, dealing with homelessness, or has been outdoors in summer heat, they’re going to smell. It would be unfair to judge anyone based on those circumstances. I used to hate the smell that would come on my skin after spending a few MOMENTS outside in Florida in the summer. And then my car’s a/c went out, I was worried all my clients would think I stink.

You’re absolutely right I’m passing judgement. You said you hooked up with a particular ethnic guy and his smell was weird, therefore you stopped. You didn’t follow up to say, “but not all those type of guys I’ve met have smelled that way”. You concluded off of 1 encounter, that a particular person’s smell was not to your liking. I’m not twisting words or fitting in a narrative. You just said it. You said he had a distinct smell, and you stopped because of it. It doesn’t matter if it was a good or bad/natural or synthetic smell. You pretty much reiterated the notion that this guy who was a certain ethnic group, smells bad and therefore is unworthy of a sexual encounter. Despite everything else he could have had going for himself, you dismissed him based on a smell. What I’m telling you is, it’s irrelevant to ethnicity and everything to do with basis of your meeting. You met him on a sleazy app (because let’s face it, if you weren’t hiring a professional, and you had sex on the first meet, y’all obviously weren’t meeting to discuss financial reports), and sounds like he didn’t shower prior to coming over. Just because y’all “chatted” doesn’t make it any less of a hookup/1 night stand. What was he doing before coming over? Obviously not showering since he had to do that there. You wouldn’t know because the basis of the meet wasn’t anything more than a shower and a hookup. Therefore, you got what you wanted. You wanted to try someone new, but you settled for less. I bet that’s the reason why many people make these claims. People want to taste the rainbow, but they go for lucky charms cereal instead of real gold.

Like I said above, you’re basing how someone smells based on a “hookup”. Where did you meet this particular black guy? At a club, app, bathhouse? People are basing a man’s smell off of some sleazy encounter. Perhaps get to know the guy before hooking up? How do you know he didn’t just fuck someone, lick someone else’s ass, or whatever else before you and that’s why he smelled? I mean let’s be real: I’ve come across many situations where guys already had sex moments before meeting me. You can’t expect most people who are “hooking up” to be any cleaner than expecting them to be “d/d free and on prep”.

Hmmm...I’ve been with many a Latino, I can’t say that’s true for me. All mine have been freshly showered, if not...I like their smell regardless lol. I do know FOR A FACT the ones who “tend” to take the least showers, tend to be middle eastern, specifically between Egypt and Pakistan. Not to mention being in a desert climate, it’s natural. However, one of my friends is from Pakistan, and we occasionally are roommates. He literally takes a shower every 2-3 days only. At one point he was living at my apartment and I would tell him all the time: when you get home from work/biking/sex please take a shower! He also used to not wear deodorant (though I believe he recently started to) and would always leave behind a man funk everywhere. Then his socks...it was like a 1, 2 PUNCH. One time I was eating, and it emerged right into my nose and down my throat. I immediately lost appetite. As a friend, I can’t be around someone and not speak up. Lately I’ve noticed he’s caught onto how offensive it is to the people around him, and hadn’t noticed it last time I stayed over. Well it might interest you to know: though I’m Black, I have freckles and am a redhead ? (though not albino, but more of just in complexion, and in the light) So not sure where I fall at in the contrast of experience. I think the 1 you tasted was a one off, besides we don’t know the scope behind one’s upkeep. For fucks sake, you’re licking someone’s musky armpits, you think it’s suposed to taste like honey? Lol. That’s why I don’t always buy into these “smell” things. People will hookup with a random guy off the street, with no regard for hygiene, do some nasty kinky shit, and then say those types stink. What do you expect??? If they are reckless with their sexual health, they damn sure ain’t going to be much better about their diet or basic hygiene ??‍♂️ That’s like a guy on twitter who said something about guys who call themselves pigs, but then get grossed out when another pig talks about farting cum in someone’s mouth lol. Well, when you go to the pig pen, ya might step in some shit.

You make a good point! I haven’t drank milk at all this year, mainly because toward the end of last year, I was noticing problems every time after. No other dairy does, but after 31 years of milk drinking, my body decided to tell me no more! Also the pork thing: if someone comes across a person who eats chitterlings (a stereotypical food people think certain people love to eat, NOT!), they are going to smell weird! I know for a fact because chitterlings have a weird smell, and people who eat them smell weird. And places in the south (like Kansas City) where people likely eat BBQ and chitterlings often, can’t be blamed! Lol. Then again, I just learned chitterlings are a worldwide food, but of course people in America always find ways to “stereotype” food choices. Just like fried chicken was originally an Irish staple, but now it’s used in conjunction with watermelons to “stereotype” it: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chitterlings

Well...there’s some real people on Grindr. I actually met a guy there who I was for sure was a fake, but everything about him was real. Almost one of those “he’s out of league” types. However, it’s true for the most part Grindr is largely unproductive in quests. I just can’t even discuss Grindr anymore, because I’m tired of talking about it. I had to explain to one guy that it’s not that guys on Grindr are playing tricks on him, but it’s the fact that most of them don’t want to do any more than they have to. It’s a site for convenience, but we waste so much time on it. I only use Grind when I’m in a position to meet, usually when I already met enough clients (or non at all and need to make urgent use of the hotel bed). Some people try to use it expecting “something” out of it. Most guys on Grindr can’t host, so that in itself complicates the process. Bathhouses are direct to the point, but sometimes I debate what I want. Lemme just say something: part of me feels a certain way about men who meet other men ONLY for sex. Some gay guys treat other gay men like they are only good for having sex with. That’s the part that kinda rubs me about the baths. It also establishes the idea that being gay is a fetish, a sex thing, not an identity. Not that there’s anything wrong with meeting men for sex, but I like to feel there’s more to it, outside of my business hours. Gay bars tend to ease up off that whole “I’m gay, therefore I’m only here to have sex.” It’s more social. Issue is, nowadays thanks to social apps, gay bars are more like high school cafeterias with cliques and attitude, than places to socialize and be sexy and single. That’s why as I get older, I’m feeling like the bathhouses are a better opportunity for solo hunts.

The bars in Chicago ARE bathhouses lol. Atleast the...I forgot what it’s called. Jackhammer? Was quite “active” lol. It’s fun though.

That’s what a friend of mine was showing me. The massive man camps of manufactured homes in the area. ...having traveled to some of the most rural areas to meet clients, I know how such areas can be. You may find 1 or 2 good clients, but it won’t last unless an escort is willing to create a “relationship” with that client and is there all the time. Or, they travel there only, versus living there all the time. As one could overstay the welcome rather quickly. I’d imagine also a lot would be bi-curious, so their availability can be unpredictable. Finding good clients in escorting is more than just having a lot of men around who are making money. There has to be the demand for M4M sex, the open-mindedness, and the will to spend for such a commodity. If 1 or more of those are missing, it’s just not going to work. That’s why there’s no providers advertising in North Dakota, along with most areas outside of major metros. Being that I’m still waiting for my incall location to become ready, I’m temporarily staying in a rural area of Missouri 2 to 3 weeks at a time in between my travels. Despite there being lots of men out here, there ain’t shit going on outside of Kansas City. There’s 4 medium sized towns south of Kansas City that I can get to. It’s not happening because the demand for m4m sex isn’t here, they aren’t open minded to it, and the ones who are gay, don’t have the will to spend for it. Therefore, the market is non-existent with the exception of about 2 clients I’ve met in these parts over a period of 3 months.

Maybe “souls” was a bit deep word to use. I didn’t mean soul in a bad way, but in a way like “soul train”. By selling your soul: we’re selling our flavor, our style, ourselves. We’re not selling vitamins, cars, or timeshares. We are the product, no other business can say they are selling themselves, the product. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfTYgRRN1_8

Lol, idk what this smell is. And according to the other guy, and the occasional other people who’ve said it, it supposedly is not pleasant. But I believe I know what he refers to. Thing is, not all of “us” have a “smell”, even my FB told the guy I don’t have any weird smell he spoke of. My thing is if someone is likening that certain men smell a certain way, then it would have something to do with certain “non-specific factors” they’ve met that the ethnicity in question may possess. Maybe he met someone who was using jerry curl formula (which is generally Lye or other lesser caustic chemical) in their hair. That gives a smell. Maybe another has a lot of Curry in their diet. That can give a smell. Another may have a lot of jalapeño, habaneros, or similar in their diet. That also gives off a smell. From the skin, not just the mouth. Thing is, not all share the same stereotypical lifestyles. I’ve been around many open and honest (aka, rude) non-chocolate friends, non have mentioned this so called smell. But you know what else can make someone smell weird? Cigarettes. Dogs. Kitty litter boxes. Stuff that isn’t ethnic-centric. So to even make a statement like “certain types” smell bad, is always annoying to me. And I get so sick of people saying stuff like that. Can’t name how many times I’ve been in homes where people have had 3 or 4 cats and dogs roaming to their leisure, and not being cleaned up after. Yet, they're supposed to smell okay? What’s that smell? Vinegar and Ammonia? The socks of the entire NFL roster stuffed under the bed??

Sorry, I just have to use the verbose/projectile vomit like button for that one lol

I'm not going to say who said what, just to avoid putting anyone on the spot. But, it's always interesting (in a rude, shameful way) when my non-chocolate friends attempt to arrange 3som or bring me along to another non-chocolate encounter request. You think when a person doesn't respond, or doesn't hit you up, that it's just that. But what if you found out behind the scenes, that it was really deeper than that? One of my non-chocolate fuck buddies heard about a sex party (which I tend to avoid anyway unless at a paid event, due to the drugs and weirdo situations usually there). He shows me his pics, and then my pics which is the same as my avatar pic. Apparently, the guy told my friend he doesn't do my type because we have a "smell". Now, it's nothing I haven't heard before. And I really don't get worked up over such trivial rejections. But it does show how toxic the gay mSm community can actually be, especially in small minded communities like Kansas City, which continues to prove how unsuitable this area is for personal and business growth. Went from the searing Florida frying pan, to the KC BBQ pit! Then I've been hearing people talk, like they have some kind of hang up about people from Florida (which is understandable). But talk about the pot calling the kettle "Black"! They aren't much different in mentality here either! Anyhow, it's not even a bother to me. But is this a real thing, or people just too ignorant to realize maybe they just been hooking up with funky mother foes, and it doesn't apply to that whole ethnicity? That's why nowadays, even though I myself tend to wind up moreso with vanilla/neapolitan than chocolate (not that I don't do chocolate, but I'm more into Neapolitan or rainbow sherbet, so naturally that is going to not place a preference on any 1), I usually never make the first move or message first. I let those who are into chocolate come to me first. Too much of a chance to come across someone ignorant and intolerant. And though they may not come out and say it, its not worth my time to find out.