Occasional

There are two sorts of 'not great' The first sort is 'not really matching up to what I'd hoped for'. Perhaps, with a new provider, no real chemistry. He delivered, but somewhat perfunctory. The analogy with a restauarnt could be "it had good reviews, but for me it was nothing special". The second sort is simply not being in a position to deliver what the deal involved. Not just an 'off day', but 'out of it'. The fact that the provider "blamed it on being high" shows that he recognised that he wasn't in a position to deliver. Not just an 'off day' - tired, half-hard perhaps, but right 'out of it' - no chance. The analogy with a restaurant might be "you ordered the highly-reviewed chef's special, yes, but we were out of it. I'll 'fess up - we gave you an equivalent supermarket ready-meal we had for emergencies in our freezer". How the client proceeds - and how an honourable provide should respond - is very different in the differing situations.

.. which is hardly a professional attitude in their line of work. One of the big advantages of hiring is that one can choose to hire a provider who suits one's current mood and inclinations. Today, a smooth slim twink who is ready and willing to take it .. Next week, a heavy muscular bodybuilder type who wll pin you down with his bodyweight and give it to you .. And if you've an itch to scratch the week after with a particular kink, it's good to be able to hire a provider who is also into what you're looking for ..

... and also helped to decide the scope and range of his business offering. And the interaction between that scope, and [his] price. Some escorts charge a premium for overnights because they don't particularly want to do them. But, for the right price, they will do them - and, being professionals, will then deliver their usual quality service. Some escorts just don't do overnights at all - and that is their prerogative.

That doesn't mean it was true!

There's a third. Wait until a provider is online, then send an SMS asking if it's convenient ro ring "for a short call to clear up a couple of points" and stating that you've read their profile in full. Works for me.

Following this thread, and feeling compassion for the guys who get hooked emotionally on their provider. This thread has made me realise (if I ever doubted it - which from time to time I have, fleetingly) that I really am not closet-gay. I just like cock, occasionally! Doesn't mean that I'm purely transactional with providers. Friends? No. But a friendly demeanour, some relaxed chat? - yes. Look forward to seeing favourites again? Yes. Heavily on my mind? No. Paradoxically, I feel I get closer to an enjoyable 'boyfriend experience' with those providers who can sense that what I'm paying them for is to leave - physically and emotionally - after the session, rather than paying them to [try to] buy my way into emotional involvement with them. I guess the other side of that coin is that some providers with whom I have only a so-so experience, would prefer to sense emotional involvement from the client, so as to get a hooked-up frequent regular.

Indeed so. "Yes, I can do that for you" is a rather offputting response to a kink enquiry. Pretty well says 'I tolerate' rather than 'I enjoy'.. or sometimes "anything and everything". Which pretty well says "I can do more or less anything for you", but says nothing about the enthusiasm with which it will be done. I like to see profiles that show willingness towards a range of kink, but not mindless ticking of pretty well every possibility that the site offers as an option. Coupled with some mention in the profile of what the provider really enjoys. Not many providers do the latter, no doubt because for a provider ...

Doesn't matter whether or not the provider has friends etc. Being hit up for money by a provider is the inverse of a client seeing the client-provider relationship as something other than what it actually is (as has been discussed quite a lot recently on this board - 'falling for' provider, hoping for 'off the clock' with provider etc). The client-provider relationship is a mutully agreed, bounded transaction. That cuts both ways. And keep it that way.

Negatives on Sleepyboy profiles include: - profile not showing the blue "Verified" bar under the provider's name at the top - minimal profile content - just enough to get registered. In particular, "Activities" and "Fetish" sections completely missing; short, cursory "me too" wording in the "About Me" section, no 'flavour' of there being a real individual behind the profile; - newness - not enough time to have been complained about and kicked off the site (number of views less than the low-to-mid thousands) - any reference to rates being "menu-driven" - expect then a commoditised, transactional experience. - poor command of English (either explicitly stated in the relevant standard question, or implicit from the fluency of the profile) Positives: - rates are stated (not "ask me") - although increasingly uncommon - verified photos are available to viewers (from the blue 'verified' bar mentioned above) - a thorough "About Me" - profile wording is not tightly limited on Sleepyboy - eg see https://www.sleepyboy.com/uk/london/escort/scsbw for an example of how it should be done! Worth googling the phone number to see if the provider appears on multiple escort websites, which might give further information and/or hints as to newness. Where are you in the UK that you have to travel an hour to meet a provider?

There's enough London pricing information in the public domain to get a good feel for 'the going rate' Advanced Search Sleepyboy WWW.SLEEPYBOY.COM Transgender Escorts London | Trans Escorts London | Advanced Shemale Escort Search – find the hottest and hardest Trans Escorts in your area Scroll down to last item under "General", tick "Only if Rates Stated", back to top, then under "Search Options" choose "Distance" and then under "Postcode" enter a Central London postcode - your hotel, or eg SW1A 1AA [Buckingham Palace 😉 ], then click yellow button "Search Escorts". The "only if rates stated" option was introduced a few years ago at my request to try to stem the trend towards fewer published rates. I think it should have been displayed more prominently. The going rate in London for an incall is currently £200-£250 per hour. More than that, and the provider really needs to have something to set him apart. Less than that, down to £150, need not be cause for concern, lower still at the £120 mark can be "OK" but unlikely to be mind-blowing. I occasionally see one provider fairly local to me at £120, and it's - well, it's "OK". The trend to incomplete profiles now extends to many profiles omitting the "Activities" and "Fetishes" sections, completion of which is presumably not compulsory so are ignored by the Entitled Generation who expect their phone to ring off the hook as soon as their incomplete profile is published. Don't forget that tipping is not expected in London. In the UK, tipping is for poorly-paid, overworked service workers who are EMPLOYED. The SELF-employed are not tipped - they trade on their reputation, good service gets referrals and repeat business.

This might be an example of cognitive dissonance in the provider. I've met a few full-service providers over the years who like to feel that they are 'different' from the 'usual' 'hookers/ sluts/ [insert choice of contemptuous epithet]'. Sometimes this is based on them supposedly having a 'different attitude', sometimes on them being 'selective' who they see, sometimes on premium pricing. And sometimes for no reason at all that I could discern! Presenting oneself as a masseur, rather than a full-service provider, bolsters the 'not a hooker' mindframe, even if the advert talks about erotic massage. After all, what does that mean, exactly? The provider can tell himself that he's different, selective, yadda yadda, and that the client is booking - massage! If more happens, the provider tells himself that it was because he chose to allow it to happen (which may not be so far from the reality, actually). An enquirer explicitly seeking 'more' - so that 'more' is baked in before the client and provider even meet - is then like lobbing a grenade into the carefully cultivated, carefully defended, "I'm different" mindset.

Was it that becoming aware of your hire's partnered status shattered your feelgood-fantasy of the provider being 100% committed to you for the time you were with him? As in, your blown-away assumption that 'both of us are fully available and present for each other - body, heart and soul - for the next hour or two"? Nothing wrong with that fantasy. It's what providers provide (good ones, anyway). Maybe you felt that, after the disclosure, your hire simply couldn't be in a position to provide it. Developing the theme, you weren't actually "the 3rd person in a 2-way relationship" - you weren't actually inside the provider's relationship at all. It's one thing to be part of a threesome where you're part of the mix as 'third wheel' but after the session, they've got each other and you have neither of them. Quite another not to even be part of the mix at all.

When I meet a new provider, I prefer to arrange a same-day appointment. Otherwise, I tend to find myself caught up in tension between anticipating pleasure on the one hand, and possible disappointment on the other. I think it's helpful to follow potential new hires for some days or weeks, seeing when they tend to log on, whether and when they tend to be "Available Now" - and, importantly, whether "Available Now" lingers for hours after they were last online. 'Available Now' at 7am when they were last online at 2am doesn't inspire me with confidence! I haven't hired much at all since Covid, but I've been keeping an eye on a handful of potential hires reasonably local to me (I live a few miles outside Central London). Quite early yesterday morning, I saw that one such potential new hire was "Available Now" and had been online 20 minutes ago. I was tempted to make contact, but decided to leave it - busy day ahead. Half an hour later, checked again, still "Available Now"- and online! So I did my usual - texted to ask if OK to ring, Had reply within minutes. Quick chat to confirm rates and to outline my expectations. Then, when can we meet? Answer: when can you be here? Appointment made for an hour ahead. All went well ... it's such a pleasure to meet a new hire where there's rapport, and perceived potential for the good first-time "activity" to get even better as you relax that bit more together in future sessions. And he looked even better in the flesh that his lightly-photoshopped photos ;-) As Humpty Dumpty said,"'when I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean". I do commend the approach in my second paragraph above, to get a better feel for what any particular provider means by "Available Now".

Sounds as if it was all going on in his head, so to speak. You don't, of course, know the client's backstory, his psycholgical makeup, his baggage. Has his life experience always been having to 'deliver for other people'? So that, for him, it's a rare and precious indulgence to just lie back and savour the experience with you, without feeling the slightest obligation to reciprocate or feed back in the moment?

If the framing is binary i.e. "client of a sex worker" versus "long-term committed boyfriend" then, yes, "dishonesty" may well be the word. But, at social events, I rather suspect it's not at all uncommon for a FWB relationship, or an on/off/going-nowhere casual relationship to get upgraded for the evening. Which is fair enough - the couple know each other, enjoy each other, are entitled to their privacy and there is no reason to divulge the casualness of the relationship to others. If "casual versus committed" is the framing, then a client and sex worker relationship is just another form of casualness. The couple are entitled to their privacy and there is no need to divulge the exact details of the relationship to others. Q: how did you meet? A: online Q: who made the first move? A: it just sort of developed Q: how long have you been dating? (getting a bit intrusive) A: as pre-agreed between escort and client. Followed by " 'dating' is not quite the way we'd describe our relationship - we enjoy each other and meet when we can but we're not in each others' pockets all the time" In British culture, firmly holding the gaze of the enquirer while making that reply would carry the unmistakeable message "You're being rudely intrusive now, and overstepping the mark. Back off!" Q: what's your favorite bar, café, restaurant? A: not sure I have one. Q: have you met (client's best friend) Johnny? A: I don't think so. Now, excuse me, I have to .... Edit: typos