DznNYC

I definitely maintain a 9-5 work life and a strong part time escorting life. It can be challenging. I’m exhausted 24-7. But I make it work! Typically I limit mid-week after work bookings to one in a week. And I limit those to known regulars who prefer to bottom only. That way I go directly from work to gym to shower to client. I try to keep Fridays through Sunday as available for extended client situations as much as I can. But realistically, I can only fill Friday, Saturday, OR Sunday. Ambitious as I might get, I still do need day to myself. I usually end up taking about 3-4 bookings a week. There's admittedly all kinds of drawbacks to this situation. If you’re like me, you want to help out every guy who reaches out to you, even if you know it’s logistically impossible for you. I think it's probably part of my provider brain wiring, I want to show up and provide for everybody. I literally hate saying no. But I end up having to say no a lot. There are entire client populations who are only looking during business hours. Or weeknight business travelers. Or I get endless recurring message from the same guys: "Available Tuesday over lunch?" Unfortunately, never. I think part of what drives me toward providing is the genuine desire to say yes to everyone. So the repeated nos do become draining. One of the benefits of a part time situation is that I don't run the risk of burnout. If I show up at a booking, I know it's my only one of the day. I'm charged up. I'm horny for it. I've got the mental and sexual energy to be who I need to be. I have a confidence that my client is getting the best version of me in a way that I might not have if I was seeing multiple clients in a day. Do I imagine my life as a full time sex worker? Absolutely! Is that remotely possible for me given the nature of the US health care system. For sure not! How do full time providers solve the health insurance dilemma? No idea. Suffice to say, the flexibility of sex work is a major bonus in my life, and I'm not looking to give it up anytime soon.

I love wearing a ball weight! I have one - or sometimes two - that I'll wear around the house when I'm just hanging out. I don't usually keep mine on during sex. My erection tends to have a strong upward stance, and the ball weight has a way of weighing it down, go figure. And go figure, I love the sensation of my hard cock pointing up more than I love the ball weight. But I love the sexual charge it gives me in regular life. And I love low hangers, so I love the effect.

I have literally always wondered this question. And for the first time in my life on RentMen, I've let my profile expire. I have unrelated seasonal work that makes it all but impossible to see clients - apart from the occasional existing regular - during November and December. I've struggled with how to manage this. Do I keep my face and name out there for when I'm back at it in January? Or is that just promoting a brand around the idea of Unavailable? Also, RentMen is an expensive racket for a provider. Between gold memberships and platinum boosts, it's a lot! So it feels like an unjustifiable expense at this point. The point being: for the first time ever, I'm a viable recipient for this gift! 🎉 That said, the question of this topic remains. Why would anyone ever do that for me? Literally no idea. A tip/bonus from a happy client? Makes perfect sense. A material gift from a happy client? Makes perfect sense. This one... I honestly can't imagine it's a thing. But definitely expect my ad on your front page in January, New York. Paid for by yours truly...

I don't think there's been a more widely covered topic here, but it's a hot one! So I feel like it's worth re-weighing in. Reasons I will never ask a client for a photo: At no point do I ever want him to feel up for evaluation. Like it or not, just like on any other app, this is the headspace you create when you send a photo. You're an anonymous faceless person, then you send a photo revealing your face, then you wait for approval. Yes, you're attractive enough to meet, or not you're not. By that point you've already spiraled: Is my provider into me? Am I attractive enough for him? You're already in that self-conscious worried headspace. This is exactly what you're meant to avoid when hiring a sex worker. Discretion is one of the sacred promises of sex work. If a prospective client doesn't want to put a photo of himself out into the world in a looking-for-sex context, that's what he's paying for. That's his prerogative. Is it that risky to send face photos to providers? Probably not. But that's the client's call. He gets to decide what discretion means to him. Of course, lots of men who hire prefer to share photos in advance. They want all parties to know who and what to expect, and that also makes complete sense. But as the client, that's their choice to make. For my own personal safety concerns, I require a cell phone number to meet, not a photo. A phone number adds a level of safety for me. A photo does not. All that said, I get why providers ask for photos. Meeting a new client for the first time is always a source of at least some anxiety. The services we provide are extraordinarily intimate, and you really never know who's going to open that door when you knock on it. In fact, I had that moment just this weekend with a new client. Sitting in a hotel lobby waiting for him, no idea his age, race, body type. It can indeed be an unsettling moment! But when you're a provider with a certain minimal level of experience, you know you can work with any age, race, or body type, and none of it truly matters. Everyone is entitled to ask for what they need to get the job done. But pay attention to the ask! It can be a larger indicator about the provider you're hiring.

There’s a lot of gay fiber gimmicks out there that are preying on body shame and half truths. A lot of them are selling gummies as a replacement to douching which simply isn’t true. And most of these products can be purchased way cheaper at a regular pharmacy.

I’m very much into joining, and this feels like ample heads up for planning. Just need to assess the actual business model here, if it’s just a single weekend. 😬 A Palm Springs jaunt from NYC is pricey enough, I wouldn’t expect it to be a moneymaker. But it would be nice if it could at least pay for itself. Any other providers with experience/insight feel free to DM me. 😇

Does anyone remember Philip Seymour Hoffman in the movie HAPPINESS? If not, do yourself a favor and watch it. It’s an amazing film. Literally every client who’s called me has been that dude. Full-on 100%. None of them has even been good at pretending they were serious about hiring.

I think both kinds of meetups have their place! I've found real value in getting to know other sex workers. You have moments where you realize how strange the provider life can be, so it can be really nice to get to meet guys who've had similar experiences. The provider/client meetup would be great too. A chance to get to get to know guys on both sides of the industry in a low pressure environment could be really nice! The Palm Springs meetup is a terrific ambitious event, and I hope I can make it someday. But a casual happy hour meetup is a great way to start.

A couple local provider friends and I were recently lamenting the lack of community among escorts. And how lovely it can be to meet up with guys who’ve had similar experiences. Do we feel like there’s an appetite out there for a NYC provider meet-up of some kind?

Have you looked yourself up on Mr Number? The providers may be seeing something you're not.

I’ve been flown in for sure. I have a client in Florida who flies guys in all the time. You get on a 6am flight to Florida and uber to the hotel. There’s a key waiting for you at the front desk. He arrives a bit later for a session. Then he goes back to work. You hang out in a hotel room alone for a couple hours. He returns for session #2. Repeat. He leaves. Uber to the airport and fly home that evening. It’s a long exhausting day, but lucrative. I don’t think his issue is lack of local talent. I think he specifically gets off on the FMTY aspect of it. It makes him feel like a high roller.

What makes someone a good piss top? Is it the ability to piss through a full upward erection? If so, I nominate myself! 💦 💦 💦

I would say definitely ask! My body hair situation for sure varies. And sometimes if the current situation isn't your preference, you just have to wait a week. Similarly, my haircut regularly varies, as does my facial hair. It's not unusual for my appearance around these things to vary slightly within a limited range. This is why I'll always send out recent selfies before a first meeting. If you have strong preferences in these areas, always best to just ask. I've postponed trimming my beard or my chest hair based on a client's preference. Or I've specifically trimmed to meet a client's preference. Upshot: if you have strong preferences about these details, just ask. Very often your provider can accommodate.

Private parties are some of the most fun I’ve had as a provider. A favorite of mine used to hire me twice annually - Christmas and his birthday - for sexy parties. It mostly involved serving drinks in skimpy costumes, and eventually nude. Also just helping to keep a light friendly atmosphere, flirting with party guests, etc. etc. etc. (Happy to explain “etc. etc. etc.” privately…)

I think you're getting at a similar question that I struggle with from the provider perspective: Is it worthwhile for providers to DM profiles they see as potential clients? When I first made my RM profile public, I got an unsolicited DM from a well known successful NYC provider that said (major paraphrase here): Welcome to RentMen. I'm a very successful escort. This is my only job. Happy to share the secrets to my success. I DM ever profile that views my profile and I attempt to engage. I took his advice early on. But it only took one or two unpleasant replies to see that this approach isn't universally well received. Potential clients view it like a telemarketer call. So I backed off that approach. But there are some scenarios that feel like an exception. If a client views my profile and has fleshed out the information in his profile and it appears we could be a good match, I'll send him a gentle hello. (Similarly, if his profile is all about searching for twinks - which I am not - I'll know to let him be.) Usually it's just hello and a profile compliment. Experience has taught me that the unprompted hard sell doesn't play out well. Similarly, there's a small handful of client profiles who view my profile almost daily and don't reply to a hello. It didn't take long to get that this was a mystery I'd have to learn to live with. Strong likelihood, the "hi" you're getting is a gentle invitation to interact from a provider who's careful of a hard sell. If I see a fleshed out profile that feels compatible, I'd do similar, though with slightly more than just hello.