nate_sf

I ride BART, MUNI, Caltrain, and Samtrans fairly regularly, and BART by far seems to be in the worst shape. One of my colleagues at work calls it "The Upside Down" which seems sadly appropriate. Maintenance seems to be a continual problem, so it feels run down and dirty, and has a disproportionate share of mentally ill. But I don't feel unsafe on the system, I just find it depressing. Caltrain is the opposite end of the spectrum... though the trains are old, they're clean and each train has two uniformed conductors who continually patrol the cars. The conductors are friendly, and some quite hunky The only time I've felt unsafe is when there are rowdy drunks, since drinking booze is allowed most of the time, but the drunks are more annoying than anything.

So sucking cock is considered base level of service, but licking armpits is an extra-charge fetish? That's pretty funny. Asking an escort to abstain from wearing scents, deodorants, antiperspirants, etc. is not an unusual request so I don't think would ordinarily warrant an upcharge. On the other hand, if the request extended to wanting smelly pits (also not an unusual request), that would make more sense for an upcharge since it would require more preparation and could impact other scheduling.

Last time I was in Phoenix I saw their shows at a couple of different bars. Very sexy guys, and friendly. And yes, there was one who I had a private dance with who I later saw on RM, there are probably others.

This was my experience too. I remember the day in 6th grade when the coach told us we were at the age where we would need to start wearing jocks for P.E. class. I was terrible at sports and also shy and nerdy, and the idea of getting a jock strap (let alone wearing one) was terrifying. I think I told my mom what the coach said, but for whatever reason I did not get one. I think maybe I told her not to bother, I'd wait. Then in middle school the subject never came up again. Fast forward, as an adult I've bought tons of jocks, and like so many gay guys I love wearing them. But at the gym I prefer compression shorts.

For my eye exams I go to the school of optometry at one of the big universities here. For each annual exam, you are randomly assigned to one of the students on the shift, who you will see that one time and then never again. It lends a bit of a perverse thrill to an otherwise routine chore of an exam, sort of like a game of Mystery Date. The students are without exception polite, professional, and earnest, and quite often attractive (both male and female). But of course everything is above board, and I would never think of crossing boundaries. One year, as my named was called I looked up to see a true adonis of a man. It took everything I had to concentrate on the exam! And yes as with all of these exams, he had to get very close at various parts of the exam to look into my eyes. Look up, look down...

There is a late 70s Impala here in my neighborhood that I see every day when I walk my dog. I think it's a 1978 or 79, at the time promoted as "The New Chevrolet" (I can still hear the old TV jingle... Now that's more like it!). It doesn't have the gusto of the 60s models, but with its two-tone blue paint it is a cool car in its own right. I smile whenever I see it.

I really enjoy the Banya. It has a men's night one night per month, and a women's night one night per month. Otherwise it's co-ed. There is a rooftop deck with spectacular views where you can sunbathe naked, and they also have yoga classes on the roof. But it's not a sexual place, even on the single-sex nights, and I'm told staff frown on people if they cross the line. But certainly it can be cruisy, and it is sociable and fun. People will often come together in groups as a social event. I also really like the Immersion Spa in Palo Alto. It's a nice Korean spa with separate men's and women's areas. It can be very cruisy, and then some. The massages are quite good, and can be combined with a body scrub. My favorite is to book a combined 30-minute scrub and 30-minute massage (for a full hour), and that includes admission to the facility for as long as you want to stay. The massage is fully above-board; with the scrub it will make you feel like a million bucks. Another option is to book a massage at one of the Equinox facilities. You do not need to be a member to book a spa appointment, and booking will allow you access to the full facility (including steam and sauna). Being gyms in SF, the steam and saunas can be pretty cruisy. The massages are always good quality, and I've never had a bad one.

Just a theory, but I think people have become accustomed to having their car windows up all the time, since pretty much every car now has filtered a/c. When I was younger I used to drive around with windows rolled down on a nice day, but now like everyone else I keep them rolled up with a/c on all the time. The thought of rolling down windows to sit in a parked car maybe just doesn’t come to mind. But I think the explanations offered by @sniper and @craigville beach are probably the more likely explanations. Or if there is a pet in the car.

Thanks for providing the link to the whole book. It's very entertaining, particularly the quotes of the various individuals. "Why should I work for a pittance and be the mug for a fool of a boss when I can earn as much in an evening, meet interesting and facinating people and go to parties where everyone wants to dance with me?" Quite!

I just had a massage with Damon last night and highly recommend it. Yes handsome guy, super friendly, and great massage. He can bring his table to your hotel room.

Hey @Sammmmm anything to report since you first posted this? I'd suggest asking the guy out to lunch, then at lunch tell him you're trying to figure out how/whether to come out at work. Which from as far as I can tell, is the truth of your situation. Then from there things will go whichever way they go, but at the very least you might have an ally during this next phase of your life. But I would definitely not mention you'd seen him on Grindr, particularly if he shows his face in his profile but you don't. For some people the hookup sites are no big deal, but for others it's more personal and he might feel you're being intrusive.

I prefer the Beyond Meat burger to the Impossible burger, but like @FreshFluff I am also a fan of the original veggie variety (especially black bean burgers). With Impossible burgers, I think you're right the benefit is not health or nutrition, it's being able to have something that is not meat for either environmental or animal welfare reasons. I had initially thought the cholesterol comes from the coconut and sunflower oil, but that’s not correct. Impossible burgers are available at Burger King and other restaurants, but not the grocery store yet. I'm guessing the price differential is from the smaller scale of production compared to the larger scale of beef production, since they're still trying to scale up to meet demand. Maybe the cost of the ingredients is more too, but that's just a guess. Beyond Meat burgers are in the grocery store and at Carl's Jrs. Unlike the Impossible burger, the Beyond Meat burger does not have soy; the protein is from pea protein, canola oil, and coconut oil. I find both the Impossible and Beyond burgers to be really convincing, almost creepily so. So for someone wanting to reduce or eliminate meat from their diet they're compelling.

There's a discount for having recurring billing, compared to just paying for a single month. As Victor mentions, the prompt comes when setting up the account, and from there it bills monthly until you turn off recurring billing. But no multi-month options, at least from the escort's side.

This article on onlyfans/justfor.fans appeared in the most recent issue of Wired: https://www.wired.com/story/culture-fan-tastic-planet-influencer-porn/ It takes a bit of a different angle, focused more on the blurring between social media "influencers" and porn, but makes some interesting points. Social media stars/porn stars/escorts... a Venn diagram of sorts?

I've noticed some of the younger folk refer to "the Bay Area" simply as "The Bay." Also references to area codes as a place or cultural indentifyer, like "the 415" or "the 510" or even "the five and dime." But I'm guessing that happens all over the place.

A while back a friend was in town and suggested we have a drink at the Twin Peaks. And at that point I acknowledged I'm in the demographic for that bar! We had a great time, and I really liked the bar. Very comfortable seating, great view and friendly crowd. And Lion Pub, that brings back memories... very first gay bar I ever went to. Very much of another era!

I travel with a mini french press made of metal so it doesn't break in the luggage. If there's a microwave water can be heated up in a coffee cup and poured in. Otherwise running the tap water hot can work, though not ideal. But for that first infusion of caffeine in the morning I'll take a lukewarm cup of good coffee rather than a hot cup of lousy coffee, given the choice.

I live in SF, work on the Peninsula.

Stop in anytime! :)

When I was growing up we had a Hornet Sportabout wagon, which was a close relation to the Gremlin. It was the first new car my parents ever bought, and the choice came down to either the Hornet or a Gran Torino wagon. My mom thought the Gran Torino was too big, so they chose the more compact Hornet, which I suppose was a kind of counter-culture move for the time. Light blue with a brown striped vinyl interior. I drove it a few times once I got my drivers license and was surprised how fast it was, and that it was pretty fun to drive.

Why is it that when this question was asked, I immediately thought of @Ace ? The guy knows how to travel right, I’m just sayin...

Really looking forward to this next weekend. I've lost count of how many I've been to, but never regretted it. With so much of life in the virtual realm these days, it's great to have the opportunity for real face-to-face and in-the-flesh connections (with all that entails...). Many thanks in advance to the organizers for keeping this tradition going strong.

My flight gets in at about the same time, so you're in good company. We're thinking the happy hour will start around 6:00 thereabouts. I recall from last year it extended into the early evening, so no hurry... we'll be there !

I'll be there too, helping with some of the activities. If there is interest in the gay sports bar Saturday afternoon again I'm happy to put that together.

I'm glad you've found a therapist you like. As others have mentioned, it can take some trial and error to find the right fit. I've been seeing a great therapist off and on for many years... after the initial work with him, I took breaks and returned whenever there was a life change going on that I needed help with. It can be great to talk with someone who knows how to talk about all this kind of stuff! Beyond the past trauma stuff, there is the matter that you've had some big changes in life, and there probably needs to be some time of figuring out what's next. Maybe call it "mid-life crisis" or what have you, but I'm guessing there are a lot of us here on the forum who have had some version of reinventing after a divorce, job change, coming out, or what have you. In my years as an escort I saw many variations of this, and it was great to see guys over time discover a new version of themselves and start to really enjoy life. Other thing you mentioned is the need for validation from others, and that's a tough one. Social networking apps like Facebook and IG can be really detrimental in this regard, and can make people feel lousy. For myself I try to be cognizant of how much time I spend on these things, and be aware of whether they are putting me in a bad mood. At least for me I'm finding reading a good book keeps me in a better space than spending an hour on Facebook!