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@Jason Dutch, best wishes for your mom and you as you’re there for her. 💕 

1 hour ago, azdr0710 said:

holy Jesus!.....all this hand-wringing!.......

talk with each other before the meeting about personal habits and personal time needs.......sleep habits, gym time, coffee or no coffee, food preferences......

done!

No shit.

It’s a discussion. About what falls into the realm of generally the “norm.” Anyone can have expectations and preferences out of the norm, but it’s nice to know if you do.

Settle down. And try to contribute something constructive to the discussion instead of bitching in a metanarrative. There’s so much tertiary cat fighting here…that hijacks a conversation from the main topic. Just like I’m doing now…

@Jason Dutch, your RM is expired. Everything okay?

13 hours ago, TopBunk said:

I'd rather guys not share their age than shave it. I feel like the list of things to lie about is too long...

Age: Ask me! 

Just now, Unicorn said:

I've hired my share of long-term hires. I can think of three situations off-hand in which it is NOT appropriate for the person I'm with (or anyone else) to answer his phone/texts: (1) During moments of intimacy, (2) During meals, and (3) During performances (plays, operas, drag shows, and so on). As for working at a 2nd job while on a long-term hire, this should be disclosed before-hand, with the time allowance expected, and discount appropriately applied. In general, when traveling, it should be OK for the provider to use the hotel's gym, provided this works within the schedule. I agree with others that these are things which should be discussed when discussing the potential hiring process. 

I’d add watching a movie or TV intentionally. There’s passive “kill” time together and there’s “active” entertainment time together. Maybe that falls under intimacy. I’m not sure.

Meals is a biggie for me. As a single person, I eat alone enough and have to plan when I’m going to eat with people. If I’m on a BFE with a guy, mealtimes is not time to be on your phone. Even if it’s just mealtime at home. I cook and clean up from meals. Use your phone then. Not at the table. 

4 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

While I agree SOME people feel this way, it is a horrible mindset to approach being a client or a provider. 

That could be said about any work.

Everyone needs me time…I think. That’s not the discussion here. The discussion is what is “on the clock” time.

People who work outside of escorting have me time (I hope). But their lives also have other obligations that don’t allow for them to have me time.

I don’t consider gym time work time for an escort. Not all clients want a muscled guy. A twink likely isn’t in the gym nearly as much as a muscle guy. If I hire a twink for a weekend I’d expect comparable time together with him as I would if I hired a muscle guy. If the muscle guy needs to use the gym, he can use his me time. Like everyone who goes to the gym. Unless you’re an athlete, you’re not paid to use the gym. Even if you have a physically demanding job.

 I use that example because if we’re paying for time, then time should be comparable between escorts. Not one for one of course, but comparable. We often ask about the market rate in NYC compared to Chicago, say. Well, if we’re paying for a muscle to spend time in the gym, not with us, that would be different rate between him and a twink who spends his time with us who’d otherwise be in the gym. So a twink’s per hour rate with us would be cheaper than a muscle guy if he spends more time with us than the muscle guy if the muscle guy is considering his gym time as something different from me time, as comped time but not with us. If we’re paying for time…

I don’t know if I made myself clear. I know it’s clear in my head but it sounds confusing in explaining it! 😂 

There are several issues here…

Some providers fudge their ages.

Others fudge their ages to stay competitive.

Some clients accept fudged ages, a so-called “necessary evil.”

Other clients accept fudged ages because “it’s how it is.”

Repeat cycle from the beginning.

If it’s about look’s that a guy is hiring, then post pictures. Age shouldn’t matter. If it’s about maturity (either direction), a fudged age will likely put off a  client who feels duped. A client looking for a particular age isn’t going to like getting something different from that…

So I come around again that the only real way to deal with issue is to jam a stake in the wheelspokes of dishonesty. I just don’t get why anyone would defend that when it’s a self-perpetuating cycle that serves no real purpose but to keep itself going.

2 minutes ago, MikeBiDude said:

That's a bit of a generalization that I doubt everyone here would agree with.  

I agree. But there is many a squawker who does! And they tend to show up in my reading here a good bit.

Time to exercise the hide function again!

2 hours ago, JamesB said:

This is something you need to discuss with your provider ahead of time. In my experience, alone time is essential for both during any meeting longer than an overnight. I usually schedule 2-3 hours a day of along time but again, this should be discussed and agreed upon in advance. While I don´t really care too much about a provider using his cel to reply to messages and quick checks, some really can put their phones down. I think that discussing and agreeing in advance each others expectations goes a long way for having a great experience. 

I may have a candid conversation about phone usage the next time. Just because it’s been an issue in the past. I’ve had guys who seem to forget where their phones are when we’re together. And I’ve had guys who seem like their phones are surgically attached to their wrists.

As for “me time” when we’re together, that’s just healthy for any relationship. Escort-client relationship or not. People need a break. I need my nap, damnit! 😂

I will decline the meetup with a guy who says he needs to do work while he’s with me. If you worked at Walmart part time, they wouldn’t allow you to take a call from your Wall Street broker no matter how important it is. I’ve been burnt by that. I would be really hesitant to hire a guy who needs to work while we’re together. I might understand a call or two…but not meetings and so forth that I have to conform my time off around. I’ve lived that with an escort, several times with the same guy, and it wasn’t a terribly fantastic experience. I like to think I could/would be accommodating, but I’d need some pretty good assurances it wouldn’t ruin the time together.

3 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

Trust that there are clients who always 'want to get their money's worth' to the nth degree.

I believe you. But coming from a provider it also sounds like someone who’s afraid they may be expected to a mite more than they’re comped for. The reverse if you will…trying to wring every last drop of blood from a turnip.

Clients want as much as they can get for as little as they give.

Escorts want top dollar for the least work.

Those, together, seem to be the cynical assumption of many a client and an escort, respectively, here. And frankly, it gets old. Don’t people (clients) get tired of cynically bitching about something that alledgedly is fun? And if people (escorts) despise the working conditions so much, maybe other work would provide happier fulfillment. It seems like a lot of griping to me! 

3 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

I tend to be leery of clients who want to spend every waking moment together.

I don’t think anyone here was saying that was their expectation. 

6 hours ago, big-n-tall said:

Ultimately it comes down to communication between the client and provider. It needs to be discussed beforehand if alone time or phone time is needed when you are together for a overnight or longer.

This really the answer for everything. The theory of everything if you will. Not 42! 😂 

@DWnyc, now you’re just being fresh!

@DrownedBoy, I’m guessing “liking” each other was an assumption on my part. Even still, how devoted to the time paid for should an escort be expected to be?

On 9/14/2023 at 4:02 PM, DWnyc said:

Easier said than done. In order to survive in my job let alone maintain working relationships in my personal life there is an element of having to be perennially optimistic and concise when my unguarded self would prefer to curse, cry, or go off on a monologue about my mood. 

Most cultures in the world have standard greetings that are statements rather than questions. “Peace unto you” and the like. In America we ask “How are you doing?” and yet we don’t really have time or interest to stick around for a genuine answer. 

I also appreciate in a lot of other cultures from America, and Great Britain to a lesser degree, the question “how are you” is expecting an answer, with details. It’s an actual question. I have adopted that approach in my life. If I don’t care or don’t want to listen to a wellbeing account, I don’t ask. 

11 hours ago, DWnyc said:

But maybe on our respective RM profiles, if we had them, my … congeniality … would be bigger than yours 😊

Likely. Actually, most definitely. I’m a mere 8 on the scale. I’m sure you’re sporting a 9, maybe 9.5! 😂 

@Jason Dutch, that’s because you’re a Philly man. And all that jawn. 😂

It flummoxes me that we have some here who are asking, effectively, “how low can he go” to pull off the lie, rather than saying “he shouldn’t lie at all.”

Purportedly a client pays for time when he hires an escort. That amount of time is decided before the meet, in most cases, I'm sure. It might change during, but on the whole, the duration of the meet is normally figured out before client and escort meet.

It seems that 1-hr meetups would occupy the whole time the escort is with the client. Push in. Pull out. Go. Or whatever thing is agreed upon during the hour. I don't know what all you-all's warped fantasies and activities are! 

But for longer times together, how is "time" approached. If a client hires an escort for a weekend, say, what is the reasonable expectation for a client to have for an escort to dedicate to focussing on the weekend? What is the opinion of clients and escorts here about doing "business" while with a client who's paying for a weekend? How about phone time? 

I had a regular who continued his day job while we went away on vacation to Hawaii for a few days. He would do work meetings while we were out. That was a relationship that soured over time, but I think in part because he wasn't committed to the escort time. I accommodated it for a while, but eventually I just didn't book him anymore.  I didn't like paying for his time when he spent a lot of it doing work for his daytime job.

But I also recognize that if it's a 72-hr meetup, we're both going to need some time to check phones, maybe laptops, whatever. It doesn't need to be a sustained 72-hrs of interaction. That's simply silly to think for anyone, client-escort or anyone else hanging out with anyone for that matter.

I suspect that escorts who were with me for multiple-day BFE were doing work with other clients while we were together. Is it fair for the client to put in their add "unavailable" during a multiple-day BFE? I'm assuming that some clients who might message to discuss a booking them won't message during that period if the "unavailable" is up, but then of course there's those who just don't care. Some employers don't want you doing anything else on "company time" other than "company work." Why does or why doesn't that same idea apply to multiple-day meetups with clients and escorts, in your opinion? I ask that of hirers and hirees here.

I mean this for a conversation...not criticism or lecturing.

5 hours ago, DrownedBoy said:

This is why regulars are such a treasure.

I text, ask if they want to come over at X o'clock, and if they agree, it's done.

He already knows my address and what I'm into. I already know his rates and what he's best at.

I cannot affirm this enough. 

Fascinating. 

“Gig” suggests organized to me. Do sex workers, including escorts/whores, explicitly participate in the (un)official alliance of “giggers?”

6 hours ago, DWnyc said:

Easier said than done. In order to survive in my job let alone maintain working relationships in my personal life there is an element of having to be perennially optimistic and concise when my unguarded self would prefer to curse, cry, or go off on a monologue about my mood

I go for bombastic congeniality to undo the expectation of faked Victorian moralitude. No one expects anything from me but the craziesr-within-the-reasonable.

Maybe I’ll start a faceless, one-pic ad with a single word in the description on RM “findom” so all the guys who want a rush to pay someone for nothing can pay me! 😂 

10 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

I keep detailed records of client interactions, preferences, conversation topics, and the like to remember things that will help me serve them better and continue conversations even after months have passed. You name it, I collect and maintain data to support my decisions and improve my business.

I applaud you. I feel like a lot of escorts aren’t invested enough to actually remember this stuff for the duration of a weekend while with me, let alone create a formal record of it!