DunwoodyGuy

Nah.

I pay after and place the folded-up money in the masseur's hands--often with a tip added to the agreed-upon amount--look him in the eyes and say "Thank you." Once, a very Zen-like practitioner squeezed my hands when I gave him the money and said, "May this come back to each of us a million times over." I thought that was lovely. I tried to say it myself a few times, but all I got out was "I wish this was a million dollars because that's how much you're worth." Not as spiritual, but I think it was appreciated. Oh--and I always turn away to finish dressing after I give him the money. If he looks or counts it, I don't want to know. More often than not, he just puts in in his pocket or the dresser.

Does anyone else get hit on regularly by fake profiles using photos of Hamdan bin Mohammed Al Maktoum, Deputy Prime Minister of the United Arab Emirates, popularly known as "Fazza"? He's 43 years old and married with four children and his popular Faz3 Instagram--which has over 17 million followers--features handsome pictures of him, which these fake profiles catfish for their temporary Grindr profiles. Has anyone run into them? (Or is it possible that there is only one--and he makes a new profile daily to target me, even though I delete his messages immediately?) Here are two typical photos:

You can't say, "No, I don't"?

Pardon my sarcasm, but with this as the set-up, what could POSSIBLY go wrong?

You're not weird for not liking it, but you're a little weird for bringing it up as often as you do.

I did it years ago in NY at a group called Hot Nude Yoga. The "hint of eroticism" occurs only at the end, really. The first 40 or so minutes or so are stretches, some of which are strenuous and require concentration, so they're not really erotic. There were surprisingly few erections during that part of the class. But the last 20 minutes of each class was reserved for partner-assisted yoga, and stretching alongside another naked man could lead to some really beautiful erotic connections. There was no sex at the class itself, but guys often went home together.

Yes--or credit card info. It's a well-known scam. But I don't know anyone dumb enough to fall for it. At the very least, these online scam attempts engage in (relatively) harmless data-mining, but they're really annoying.

Do younger people even know what "411" used to mean?

Nonsense. During my massage, he didn’t talk much at all.

It means something different to everyone who uses the phrase. As Nightowl described, there is an ancient Indian spiritual tradition that is mostly about meditation and breathwork and yoga. One aspect of tantra is tantric sex, and to a certain degree it involves rechanneling sexual energy back into the body without ejaculating, transforming what Westerners call "blueballs" into an idea of moving the sexual energy around the body rather than focusing on orgasm. During the worst years of the AIDS epidemic, when the exchange of fluids was first understood as the means of transmission, a group of gay men in San Francisco created an organization called Body Electric that used the ancient Indian practices to help gay men enjoy themselves and each other erotically with a version of tantric-massage practices that included lingam (penis) massage and prostate massage but ending in a non-ejaculatory "full-body" orgasm. Over the years, Body Electric expanded its practice. The phrase "tantric massage" moved on as well, and now the phrase is used by people who have never studied Indian philosophy and probably have no idea what the word originally meant. They use it simply to imply that their massage will include sexual touch. But since the word has no concrete definition, it can mean one thing to one practitioner and another thing to another. I took the Body Electric workshop years ago, and it was genuinely life-enhancing. To be in a room with 15 massage tables and 50 gay men, of different ages and sizes, with four hands massaging each subject at the same time was celebratory. Our instructor had a great sense of humor, and though we had been instructed in how to control the orgasm through breathing exercises, every once in a while a subject would slip and ejaculate. The instructor would call out "Spill in Aisle Three!"--and the group leaders would come to the table and clean it up. But I will never forget my first full-body orgasm. It truly transcended sex.

Calling fellow members "asinine" is insulting.

The 1st rule of Company of Men should be "Never send a deposit." The 2nd rule of Company of Men should be "Never-ever send a deposit." The 3rd rule of Company of Men should be "Never-ever-EVER send a deposit."

It's never safe to assume. You have to develop a way of asking, clearly but respectfully.

Actually, if you are hiring for New Year's Day, I would hire a well-reviewed professional and not just an attractive newbie--and book in advance, not at the last minute! The well-reviewed professional is more likely to be ready to give you his best, as he would on any other day. That "twink" with no experience might be a little messy.

Excellent response from LewisLMT: firm but non-defensive.

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Are you the "BeefyGuy" who left the review that's up there?

Hmmm... Never tried him but chatted with him twice and almost booked. He seemed very nice and didn't give off anything like creeper vibes to me. Can you be more specific?

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No, I'm not concerned with imaginary judgments. I have had so many more positive experiences in my years hiring than negative ones, for which I have left dozens of 5-star reviews. And I have had return experiences with a dozen or so of those guys, 2nd and 3rd sessions that were deeper and even more satisfying than the initial encounter. After a while (in life), you get to know that not everyone will like you--and you won't like everyone. But if I conduct myself respectfully toward everyone--even if they take offense at what I consider respectful--in the end, it's all good.

I reach out to multiple providers when I travel and after they respond, I reply with what I'm looking for. I try to be respectful of their time and attention, and sometimes I get accused of wasting their time. I have also been accused of "just jerking off," which is never true. (Well...at least not while I'm attempting to book a session...) If the provider takes offense at my communication, then we're not a match. But if the provider matches my attempt at respectful directness with a similar energy, then we're already ahead of the game. A comfort level has been established. And after the session I (almost) ALWAYS leave a review.