LookingAround

Zachary brown is huge shooter! Try him in NYC! He is suave, well educated, engaging!

Trade ya.

Trade ya.

Trade ya.

Trade ya.

If you're suggesting drug use, Tony has been clean and sober for something like a decade now. I congratulate that.
 
Also, he quit smoking maybe a year ago.
 
Kevin Slater

Ummm...you didn't have to. It's obvious to everyone but you.

As a client, in NYC, I find Grindr quite useful for hiring. Most escorts using Grindr are not "advertising" there. They could very well be pursuing their own personal interests. If a guy uses a picture I recognize from an RM profile, I make it clear immediately that's why I'm sending him a message. In my experience, they respond quite positively to that sort of contact. I like "meeting" through Grindr because of the opportunity to chat, exchange pics, make both of our interests and expectations clear, etc quickly and easily.

The input has been tremendously helpful, and the logic about discussing with strangers is his, not mine. These are uncharted waters for me and I needed to gain some perspective on possible courses of action.
 

 
We still love each other, perhaps not as intensely as we did years ago. And, after 36 years, there is a definitely a certain comfort aspect to the relationship. For either of us to simply walk away and try to destroy one another over this is what's thrown me. In my mind, "it's just sex" without any strings or attachments. I guess I fucked up with that logic.
 
I'm screening therapists this week to get a professional take on this. Hopefully, I can come up with an easier way to deal with this and try to fix it.
 
Thanks again to all of you for your comments, support and for not kicking me while I'm down. I truly appreciate this forum and all of you. You're really a wonderful group of people!

Hopefully you've found the input from the folks here helpful. I'm sure you see the illogic in that you've asked for it all from strangers. Hope you won't be too rigid in that opinion.

First of all - I am in the school of getting therapy (and don't just stick with the first one if you don't like him/her). You intimate that you live in an "out of the way" place so you might have to do some digging to find a GAY-FRIENDLY therapist - do it!
 
Next, do you love him? Really love him. Or are you just together for so long that's all you know and don't want to rock the status-quo?
If you DO really love him and want to stay together, how about starting to put some of your thoughts on paper, spelling out to yourself how you feel, why you did what you did and was it inevitable? Did you want him to find out? Did you feel rejected by him? Did his refusal of sex make you feel ugly or somehow not loved by him? Did you feel he had someone on the side and that's why he no longer wanted sex with you? Does he have a medical problem which interferes with sex? Be it ED, STD, whatever? To go from threesomes and group sex to zero, something is amiss. Is he angry that you did this and doesn't care why and wants you gone or is he interested in finding out just why this happened?
 
Do not just give up. But, after 37 years with someone if you can't sit down and talk 1:1 about this then you are not in the right relationship.
 
And last, this again is just my 2 cents: it is important that this was with an escort, not a grinder hookup or back page, or craig's list or whatever. You were desperate and you needed sex and to be treated like the wonderful person I hope you are just for the short time you were away. That you paid $ for it means it was that much more important to you that it not be like a fling with anyone from anywhere. You wanted to make sure that it was without strings and you had no feelings for the person in a romantic way. You had an itch and it NEEDED to be scratched by an "impartial" party.

http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/b8/12/cb/b812cb59fa657396ed90f7593f33f865.jpg

See, The Message-Forum does have an affect on these scammers.
Good!

What is the problem many of you seem to have with sending pics? I have no problem with that. If for some reason he won't 'do' me because of the way I look, let's clarify that right away - before I spend time and money to go over to his place and have a so-so experience.
 
I had an escort in LA ask my name/age/occupation. The question about occupation surprised me more than anything. Really? Hey, I work in a bank. What else do you want to know?

Sorry but these guys are running a business. It's not the responsibility of the client to organize their lives to ensure they make things work.

From voyeur to voyeur - I completely understand your trepidation. It is hard for some to understand this fetish and many times I find myself in a conundrum or feeling a bit scared to watch (JUST WATCH, ONLY WATCH) because it can come off as creepy or inexplicable to others. Yes, I like group sex, yes I enjoy foursomes (threesomes not so much - someone ALWAYS gets left out, better to stick with even numbers), but more than the actual act itself, I like to sit back and enjoy two or more people getting it on. The good news is, there are a world of exhibitionists out there and they love to be watched and actually get off on it just as much as you (we) get off on watching them watching us watching them get off.
 
Sex parties are hard. There are archetypes that crowd the place and most people like to do it in darker areas which is the Achilles Heel for voyeurs (see also: dark rooms, saunas, steam rooms, glory holes et al). Some people are shy (read: married) and don't know exactly how things work. Some people may take a visual cue as a come-on, and then you're stuck in that awkward place of trying to be polite about telling them you don't want to have sex with them at a sex party.
 
Sometimes I'll play the rabbit in that I'll get something started and duck out to the side and encourage them to keep going. It's a chore but worth it.
 
If you can afford it - ask a professional to help. Perhaps they can bring in an assistant for a nominal fee.
 
There are other methods as well - inquire within.

Yeah strange.
 
It worked yesterday...guess I ruined it for the rest of you....grin

They definitely were a few years back. Somewhat less so now.
 
Kevin Slater

Oy. Was it a good or bad experience.

I love all the men I am with. Then I come and then not so much.