Simon Suraci

Yes, our views differ. A date is an imperfect analogy because this is business, but I’ll roll with it to walk through my thinking. All is well and good if neither party is contacting the other for a second or third date. The problem is when Party 1 contacts Party 2 for another date and Party 2 doesn’t want to see Party 1 anymore. It’s so easy for Party 2 to simply say, “No, thank you.” Or any unambiguous variation therof. That way Party 1 knows not to keep asking. To say anything different would be leaving the door open to Party 1 continuing to follow up, and that wastes Party 1’s time and energy to keep following up. To tell someone in so many words or between the lines that you don’t respect their time and energy is rude (my opinion, yours apparently differs on this point). The polite thing would be to not waste Party 1’s time and energy. “I’m going to a work function that night” means the reason Party 2 is not seeing Party 1 is because Party 2 has plans. Party 1 will keep following up, and that wastes Party 1’s time to have to keep coming up with more excuses each time. It behooves Party 2 to be honest and straightforward, so as to not waste their own time dealing with responding to more invitations from Party 1. Plus it’s respectful to Party 1 because Party 1 can spend their time and energy elsewhere. If Party 1 is polite, they won’t keep asking when Party 2 states simply and directly that they aren’t interested in meeting again. Simple as that. Everyone is being polite and we are all much better off for it. It’s only when Party 1 ignores Party 2’s polite response that it’s necessary for Party 2 to resort to dealing with the situation by ignoring/blocking/ghosting, lying, etc. At this point, these behaviors are perfectly acceptable because it’s the only way to get Party 1 to leave Party 2 alone. My argument is to give Party 1 a chance to show respect. By jumping straight to the impolite response from the get go, Party 2 is saying that they don’t trust Party 1 on respect their “No” response. A lot of the time Party 1 is a decent human and will respect a polite decline. I’m saying it’s polite to have faith in humanity, to give people a chance to reciprocate your respect. Jumping straight to block/ignore/lie assumes everyone is bad and won’t respect your boundaries when you say “No”. You may be surprised at how many DO respect “No” and don’t contact you anymore. All I’m saying is it’s polite to give people that chance, and by doing so, to acknowledge and respect the humanity of that other person. Ghosting I view as impolite, lazy, and cowardly. It’s like you care so much about how the other person will take your “No”, that you feel it’s better to say nothing at all. “No response is a response” is the toxic hookup culture bleeding its way into our daily lives. But these are not hookups. It’s business and these are people on both sides. It’s all too easy to dehumanize one another through a screen. I argue that by being honest and straightforward, you’re embracing your own humanity and respecting that of others. Just because ghosting/ignoring/lying is normal and common does not make it right. But y’all have different opinions about it being ok to ghost. I’ve said my peace. I’ll agree to disagree.

I believe the question was: how to politely “fire” a masseur? Here are a bunch of impolite suggestions I’ve heard so far: Lie Block Ignore Joke about STIs The polite, mature thing to do is tell him directly in your own words that you are not interested in hiring him anymore. Most masseurs will get it and stop contacting you. Only a small minority of guys will fail to respect your wishes, in which case it makes sense to block or ignore. The roundabout suggestions offered here only invite drama, resentment, confusion, and disrespect from both sides. Personally I hope you all take a moment to consider how to better treat your fellow humans. You are all adults, many with 1.5x, 2x, or more years under your belt than the men you hire. You should all know better by now. Use your words, fellow adults. It’s not difficult.

I agree! I wouldn’t expect any extras for this price range. Extras are unimportant to me and I really enjoy good therapy. Sounds like a great find. Thanks for sharing @aeikaryoko

Brett’s RentMasseur Profile Anyone here with experience? Someone referred me, says he does good work.

^Something along these lines is the best way, I think, to go about it. You’re being direct but not mean or rude. You’re probably open to hiring other masseurs (just not this particular masseur), so rather than lying, you could be direct and upfront. You don’t even have to say why. Placing the ball in your own court to contact him gives you say in whether you want to engage with him in the future. Maybe that is never, and that’s ok. The result is the same: your masseur knows not to contact you going forward. There’s no need to block. Blocking is for people who won’t respect boundaries, or people playing childish games on hookup apps. Would you appreciate being blocked or ghosted? (No, it’s a rhetorical question). Then don’t do it to someone else without reason. Him asking if you want to hire him isn’t exactly violating boundaries. Persistent? Yes. But hardly something to be upset about. In fact, I would commend your masseur for being proactive in giving you an opportunity to book again. I do this with my clients when I travel to other cities and most of them book again. In Dallas, some of my clients missed out because they waited too long after my notice ahead and I was too booked up to accommodate the times they could see me, especially for same day last minute requests or narrow windows of availability. I easily could have made those times work if they booked ahead. That’s why I contact them ahead. Really, it’s a courtesy I am extending by taking the time to individually reach out to give existing clients scheduling priority. I book up either way, so extending that priority to my existing clients is a privilege. I understand not everyone is able or willing to book ahead, and sure not everyone will want to repeat as in your case, but your masseur spending time reaching out to you individually is a favor to you as much as it is a way for him to generate business. You might do him a reciprocal courtesy by helping him conserve his time now that he knows not to reach out. It’s a win-win. Here is a sample response message: “Thanks for reaching out and for taking my appointment last [month, year, summer, whatever]. I don’t anticipate hiring you for more sessions when you’re in town, but I’ll be sure to reach out if anything changes.”

I’m guessing it will take some time for RM to switch the site back to accept Visa card payments again. That, or they are making exceptions for their most loyal clients and best reviewed providers. RM responded to me by comping a month of membership to reactivate my ad and give me time to get a MasterCard before my next membership payment becomes due. @moonlight the cryptocurrency discussion is on other threads, so I don’t want to derail this topic, but here is a bit on my feelings about crypto: 1) is not at all private. Forensics are easy to do for anyone with a cause. The ledger is public. You don’t even need a warrant to gain access or analyze. Your crypto account is tied to your identity. 2) offers no consumer protection. Once it’s transferred, it’s gone. There is no insurance, and no company willing to reimburse you for a loss when something goes wrong. Say you paid for goods or services but never received them. That money you sent you can’t dispute or ever get back. 3) the government tracks your crypto holdings. Remember, all crypto is tied to your identity, and the government knows who you are. You may as well be on a criminal watchlist, especially if you fail to report your crypto holdings or fail to pay taxes on crypto earnings. IRS tax forms now have a line asking directly if you hold crypto. 4) crypto is not yet widely accepted or used. Money is only good as a means of exchange when you can use it everywhere (or nearly everywhere). While this may change, for now, it makes crypto essentially worthless as money, unless you go out of your way to only use merchants who accept crypto. 5) Holding any amount of crypto may as well be a sign on your back asking the government to investigate you. No thanks. 6) Crypto is highly volatile compared to real money. Real money has its problems, and it’s not perfectly stable, but real money is more stable than crypto. For this reason, people hold it for a long time hoping to someday cash out. They treat it as an appreciable asset, like a house. You can’t pay for groceries with your house, and you aren’t taking out a second mortgage on your house to pay for your monthly water bill.

Same happened to me this week. RentMen (and RentMasseur, same company) suddenly stopped taking Visa card payments. No warning, nothing. They expired my ad because my recurring membership payment won’t process. It’s Mastercard, bitcoin, or tough luck. This move is mostly a money grab giving Mastercard exclusivity and RentMen/RentMasseur a discount on payment processing fees. The official story from the webmaster to me is they dropped Visa to comply with new regulatory requirements. Even if that’s true, it’s purely incidental. Yes, payment processors are running for the hills away from anything that looks like it enables or endorses criminal activity, but even legal things including fan site content and traditional porn. Just look at a lot of the updated terms and conditions over the past 6-12 months. You have to read the text. They don’t put it in the summaries and highlights emails. The moral police are coming down hard on this and related industries. I’m all for stopping human trafficking, but you can never eliminate the sex work trade by legislation, social norms or peer pressure. Wherever demand and supply exist, so does a market. I digress…maybe save that for related threads. Imagine how timely all this action is with the election coming up in 3 months…ok I’ll stop there before getting too political. We all know RM prioritizes their bottom line above everything else. They forced me to put pictures in my private gallery last month, for example. The pictures weren’t even nude, but they deemed them x-rated. It was simply to add content to a gallery that members would have to buy a membership to view. I send pics when requested, but it’s just a way for RM to squeeze more $ out of both clients escorts. Lame. The dropping Visa without warning debacle sent me into a tailspin because I don’t use MasterCard or bitcoin, or any other cryptocurrency. I’m on an extended road trip and some of the cities I’m visiting over the next few weeks are new to me…so no existing clients to rely on or reach out to. It’s purely advertising I have to go on to fill my books. I freaked out. I scrambled to a grocery store in Columbus yesterday in the little free time I had left to get a Mastercard gift card. RM will let me upload the card because it recognizes that it’s a Mastercard, but it still won’t process the payment, presumably because it’s a prepaid type. F*ck me. I managed this morning to apply for, and receive a new MasterCard with one of my financial institutions. Fortunately I got a digital card I can use until I receive the physical card in the mail. As of this morning, my RentMasseur and RentMen recurring payments are switched over to the new MC. Fingers crossed they don’t go exclusively to crypto without notice. Then I would really be screwed. Crypto is problematic in so many ways. Fine if RM wants to offer the option, but forcing us to use cryptocurrency would make me quit the platform tbh. This whole thing is exhausting.

Ari trained informally many years back under Newell, a masseur I work with in San Diego (ads are under MuscleGingerXL). I haven’t seen Ari myself, so take this with a grain of salt, but the consensus I’ve heard around town is you go to Ari for sensual work, not actual massage therapy. I would adjust your expectations accordingly. Others please do post any updates and mention of you have had better luck on the therapeutic side with him. We all evolve over time.

^ +1 I use the “Available Now” feature judiciously. Sometimes I have between 1-3 hours between clients which is not enough time to flag Available Now, have the client see it, reach out, confirm a booking, and then have the client travel to me, and complete the appointment, and maintain a 30 min gap between clients, all before my next client arrives. Sometimes yes this scenario happens to work out smoothly if all works perfectly within that timeframe where the client sees Available Now right when I flag, and not 55 mins after I flag. So…sometimes Available Now means available to respond to questions, make appointments (and to deal with constant client bs, but that’s another thread). Sometimes it means Available Now to start working asap if you contact me shortly after I flag it, but if you wait too long the window closes. Other times it means truly that I have nothing going on for several hours and I’m ready to work asap. Which means I’m not sitting around. I’m going to the gym or running an errand to make the most of my time when I’m not actively seeing clients. So maybe it takes me 30 mins or longer to complete my workout, shower, or drive back from a store or something. I think that’s pretty reasonable. There is no way to tell what’s happening with your provider at that particular time you text after seeing Available Now. There is only one flag for us to use…so we use it. You can’t get mad at us for using our free time in other ways than simply staring at our phones, unblinking, waiting for it to buzz after we flag Available Now. We have things to do. It’s impossible to guarantee that someone will be available immediately after you see the flag and text. You might have an initial delay from a guy who legitimately is available, but perhaps he is on the phone when you text, or in the middle of a task he can’t pause immediately, he’s in the shower, or what have you. It may take a short time before we see the text. Other times we see your message right away and respond. Client 1 sees Available Now, texts me, and books an appointment for some short time later, maybe 30 mins or an hour from the time they text. So far, the Available Now feature is working as intended. Sometimes only a few minutes later client 2 (who also saw Available Now flagged) texts requesting an appointment. I tell client 2 yes I can do X time later (in order to go after client 1 who is already on the way). That X time might be two hours or more later from the time client 2 is initially texting. Client 1 thinks I’m waiting around for him to show up whenever he goddamn feels like it, because after all, I am “Available Now”, indefinitely as far as he is concerned. So he shows up half an hour later than he said he would, which makes it that much more difficult for me to confidently set a time for client 2, so I pad half an hour to avoid potential conflict from client 1 taking his sweet time arriving late. Uncertainty around floating client arrival times is certainly part of the equation.

Poor baby…

I’ve had interest from clients inquiring about ASMR and related experiences, usually younger clients, but it’s so infrequent that I haven’t seen the point in offering ASMR as a service. To echo the above, it’s not a sexual service. That’s not really the point, but I suppose if you’re hell bent on making it sexual, you could.

A while back, one of my Dallas clients posted a negative reaction to a masseur he and I both really like. Once I shared that this masseur also creates fan site content, the client was grossed out and presumably doesn’t see that masseur any more. That’s unfortunate because that masseur really is a great guy and does good work. The puzzling thing about the client reaction is that the masseur and the client were not having sex, so I really don’t understand the relevance. I imagine this masseur had just as much sex privately before as he now does on camera - which begs the question: why should it matter? Does this information change how you think about your masseurs? Is it hot and exciting to you? Is it “icky” thinking about what he does outside his massage sessions with you, either privately or for an audience? Do you worry more about your sexual health? Do you think his level of risk is any different when he has sex off screen vs sex on screen? Does his notoriety appeal to you? I’ve considered creating content for a long time, but I’m just not ready to take on the time commitment, among other reservations. I’m wondering whether creating sexual content would have a positive or negative impact on my business. What do you guys think?

^refreshing

Don’t ask for a hookup outside the context of a paid session. It changes things, and almost never in ways that you like. If he asks YOU, fine. But don’t ask him to provide for free what he has been giving to you as a value added service.

I stayed in Louisville for a week this month and heard from clients there that the Louisville options are few, and not really worthwhile (their opinions). Some clients there rely exclusively on traveling masseurs.

Yes.

I’d be interested as well. It’s difficult finding FTM providers. Somewhat easier to find trans women, but trans men offering services are few and far between… I agree, travel definitely has to be a part of the equation, either flying to their city or flying them to yours. Unlikely you can find the right fit in a given city/region. Agree with reaching out to well known performers. But hey, expect to pay $$$.

Doesn’t look anything like Richard Simmons. And if he did, who cares? Someone will hire a guy that looks like Richard Simmons, and there’s nothing wrong or funny about it. Live and let live. This boy has a nice big booty. Love that hole!🕳️

Look, just on the other side of your fence!

Any provider worth his salt will see 65+ clients. I do. My oldest is in his 90s.

I use Booksy (ad in my signature). It has the same features Reyn mentioned and more, with an integrated card reader POS system. You can also accept payments on your phone through the app. Runs about $35 / month. Worth every penny and more. I don’t even use all of the features, mostly for client privacy reasons and general distaste for aggressive marketing. I don’t charge deposits or require a cc to book, and that’s an intentional business decision. You can set up features for no show protection, deposits, etc if you want.

^What you suggest is an unpaid service costing us a bit of our most valuable asset (time) which the client more than likely will never see, know about, or appreciate. Giving even more of our time away for free? Nope! We don’t want all our clients to be aware of such a platform in the first place. It’s not for clients. The platform is for providers. We only really spend time adding comments for extreme cases as a courtesy to other providers. We don’t spend additional time “reviewing” our everyday clients like you would a restaurant on Yelp. Besides, we are not the consumers anyway. ^Not the case at all. An experienced professional makes peace with the fact that anyone can be on the other side of their door. Yet he is ready to attend to his client’s needs anyway. A good provider does not have such anxiety. I know I don’t. We can’t control client behavior. Who is to say the client is as good with everyone as he was with me? It’s not our responsibility to build or maintain our clients’ reputations. If anything, the less we say, the better, so as not to jeopardize client discretion or give a false impression of safety. He didn’t murder me, so surely he won’t murder you, right?!

1) When I have neutral or positive experiences with a negatively reviewed client, I leave positive comments. Nothing that descriptive other than he is safe to see, followed through, and contradict any negative comments i.e. the “client paid my rate”, in contrast to comments like: “he didn’t pay”, “cheap client”, or “has no money”. I’ll mention he was respectful if he had other comments on his number saying he was rude, abrasive, or creepy. 2) After a positive meeting, I leave no comments when the client has nothing listed in the first place, which is most commonly the case. Same if he has only positive comments, which is very rare. Mr Number is not designed to be a referral system. It’s supposed to be for reporting spam and fraud. We providers use it unofficially as a warning beacon to flag chronic problem clients and help keep us safe. That’s why you hardly find any neutral or positive comments. It’s about managing risk, not a tool to find or refer better clients. The best clients have no comments on Mr Number because they are not behaving in a way that would motivate a provider to go out of his way to flag it. Really horrible clients might not have comments because they have either a) been lucky to not use providers who report on Mr Number, or b) regularly change their burner number for this express purpose - kind of like a provider making a new profile when he receives a bad review. Both behaviors are childish. Everyone treat one another with respect and we don’t have to play these games. Alas, bad apples populate both sides of hiring. Speaking for myself here, but I’m sure others feel the same: I don’t care if the client is attractive or nice or a millionaire, and this wouldn’t be the place to discern or share such information anyway. We just want to avoid trouble and wasting our time. Remember: an escort’s (and masseur’s) most valuable asset is his time. Here are some common Mr Number flags, which sometimes are true, sometimes not: Law enforcement (often not true) No-shower (usually true) Disrespect Verbal abuse Trolling behavior Bargaining behavior Won’t pay Drug use Mental instability No boundaries Wants to outsource all risk and responsibility for his own sexual health to escorts i.e. show me your prescription, rapid test in person, etc. There is no satisfying this unreasonable client, even if you test in person, send all documents, etc. It never ends. Immediate block. “Gross” clients (inexperienced providers write these, very common, it’s unprofessional) “Time Waster” - see blurb below. Less common: Violence Catfishing Other ”Time Waster” and variants therof: This is the most common comment of all. Most of these are from immature providers. They have no concept of what reasonably constitutes time wasting behavior. Just today I saw a comment saying a client was a time waster because he canceled last minute in 2022…because he tested positive for COVID. Now, we don’t know if that was a lame made up excuse (I hear them all), but anyone sick should cancel! Just like a provider testing positive for an STI should cancel, however inconvenient that may be for each party. Car accidents, sick relatives, and business emergencies tend to occur conveniently right before so many appointments. After a while you catch on. But sometimes that really is what happened. While unfortunate, canceling for real, compelling reasons is a normal, natural part of life. You can’t be considered a “time waster” because you are a human being with a life. At the same time, reporting these incidents shows us patterns. Like, how many times does this John get COVID before an appointment, or “fall asleep” and stop responding (unacceptable btw). Maybe he really does care for a sick relative needing constant care…in which case he should get coverage with another caregiver before booking an appointment. Your lack of planning does not make everyday occurrences “emergencies”, where you have to cancel every other time you book. Figure your shit out. Be an adult. Get a sitter. Or just…don’t book! We see the patterns and measure our risk. On the flip side, lots of clients do waste our time in ways they shouldn’t. Answering questions about our rates and services is not timewasting behavior. Not booking but asking the same questions over and over is. These too: Client sexting Client demanding affirmation Discussing minutiae of an appointment obviously for wanking purposes Demanding our attention at all hours outside appointment times, over many days, weeks, or even months. I have to block clients who feel entitled to hours of my attention because they got a one hour massage from me one time. Thanks, but no thanks.

I agree cowboy position (on top) is good for getting going, even for experienced bottoms. I prefer this myself when I bottom and need to ease in at first. However, the bottom needs to feel comfortable and confident in what he is doing. First timers often aren’t, which can lend itself to unnecessary anxiety, pressure, and uncertainty having to control all the action without really knowing what works best for himself yet. Everyone is different. I enjoy popping a man’s cherry missionary style because I know what I’m doing and he doesn’t have to fret about anything. He doesn’t have to do anything, really. We pace ourselves according to his comfort, and take breaks when necessary. I respond to his body and verbal cues and take it from there. Being face to face helps build and sustain the connection, which is equally if no moreso brain-to-brain than it is dick-to-ass. As others have mentioned, the warm up and foreplay are very important. It makes all the difference. Do not rush this part. Rimming does wonders to relax a bottom and prepare him for unbridled pleasure. Kissing, cuddling, oral, other erogenous zones play. Whatever tickles your fancy. Solo play with small toys helps a lot, and you can never use too much lube during the main event with the real thing. Patience and experience go a long way. Selecting the right provider makes all the difference in this regard.

It’s a boon, but you have to be located conveniently to the attendees’ accommodations. In Dallas, I was in downtown close to most of the big conventions and trade show venues. I frequently got trade show visitor business, especially because I was the only provider in the downtown area. The rest were in Oak Lawn or areas further away. Some of these clients would walk or take Uber in a number of minutes you can count on one hand.