Simon Suraci

Then you have clients not using a phone number at all, only using exclusively RentMasseur messenger, RentMen messenger, and other app messages to communicate. One client arranged a two hour meeting with me yesterday after confirming details the day before. He deleted his profile and so when I was going to ask if he was still coming, it says the profile is no longer available. What a jerk. I wish people would just cancel instead of ghost/delete/block whatever. It’s so childish. At least a real phone number has nominal stakes, even if only a burner. That’s why some of my peers won’t book an appointment without a phone number, and refuse to book with numbers they can tell are burners.

^Knowing this from others’ comments, I scheduled WEEKS in advance to make sure I can follow up as many times as necessary to get an appointment scheduled on his books. I was prepared for slow and inconsistent communication knowing it would probably be worth the extra effort and patience. Many of you know I am generally a pretty patient guy anyway. While not great, communication with Brady actually wasn’t as bad as others say. Scheduling wasn’t my issue though. My issue is he stood me up. I’m not that guy who asks for a massage on very short notice like in 1-2 hours. I’m intentional. I plan. Especially in this case when I knew I would only be in the masseur’s area for a week. ^It sounds to me like his skills and him as a person are worthwhile when you actually get to see him. That’s why I went out of my way to try him, on his own terms, by being: 1) Prepared to pay more than I would normally be willing to pay for a massage 2) Really flexible with scheduling 3) Proactive 4) Not pushy 5) Mindful of scheduling a long session to make it worth his time (and mine!) The only thing I didn’t do on his terms was pay a deposit, but he agreed to waive it. Maybe he saw me as a less reliable client because of that, but if he didn’t want to see me because of the deposit issue, he could have just said no. I don’t get it. ^While the fun aspect is intriguing, I had no expectations that any extras would be part of my session. I really just wanted to try his therapeutic work. I know so many clients are pushy or creepy about ‘extras’. Being a masseur myself, I witness it every day, so when I get a massage myself, I show as much respect as I possibly can. That was my goal here when I contacted Brady. ^ @PaulM, by this are you referring to the effort of communication in scheduling an appointment? Has he ever stood you up? How many times are you willing to be stood up before you feel he’s not worth the effort anymore? Has Brady stood anyone else here up? I get that communication with him can be patchy and frustrating, but I knew that going in and braced myself for it. How many of you has he confirmed an appointment with and just not showed up? That’s my issue here. Is this behavior acceptable to you? Would you still see him again if he stood you up one or more times? Brady can walk on water once you’re in the room together, and maybe he does, but is that worth coming back multiple times, being stood up again and again, and scammed out of deposit money before you can see him? That’s a big ask. Clients here are way more critical about way more petty things. I’m just wondering what is so amazing that so many of you are willing to put up with so much unprofessionalism.

Yes, it should be obvious to program time between one appointment end time and the next appointment start time. Not factoring in this time is unprofessional provider behavior. I would be mortified if I made two clients pass one another on the way in/out. You need space for the unexpected. At least 30 minutes between clients. Say a client arrives 5-10 mins late and the next one arrives 5-10 mins early. That leaves you with barely 10 minutes to take care of all cleaning, communications, and rest. There’s no flexibility for chit chat, something taking longer than expected (like the client taking forever to cum!) or a technology delay when paying, or what have you. If not for client comfort and discretion, do it for the sake of taking time to clean (yourself, your place), food/drink breaks, rest, and importantly, time to respond to texts that a true professional would not be paying any attention to during the last appointment. Sometimes you only have time to respond to a question and say “I’m starting my next appointment in 10 mins. If I miss your reply while I’m working, I’ll get back to you after I free up.” A lot of times the client texts 15 mins later but it’s ok because they know to expect a reply after you finish your current meeting.

No, that’s a good sign. You should only see comments if a provider left one. Again, this platform is NOT for clients. It is NOT designed to establish, build, or maintain client reputations, so please do not read into it. It is only for warning other escorts of problem behavior, and reporting other general spam/scams. Honestly you’re better off not seeing anything that has been written about you (if there is anything at all). Some providers are really immature and post bogus comments. Imagine that: 20 year olds without life experience and sometimes using English as a secondary language blasting off with no spelling or grammar skills about some normal situation like a client asking for rates and not booking, saying the client is a “time waster” (or time “waiste”, etc), or someone is “creepy” simply because he is over 60 ie a normal common client age range. I wouldn’t want to put any of that garbage into your head and let it bother you. The good, mature, experienced escorts look right past that crap and disregard it anyway. If you’re doing a good job at picking the right guys, it won’t matter if you have these types of common comments on your number. Follow the advice on CoM about how to communicate with providers and you will be just FINE!!!

Whew! Glad the Spanish speakers are not a bunch of necrophiles.

Since he clearly doesn’t need the business, a few dozen people viewing this won’t make a difference, but it will save some clients some time and hassle.

So weird. Yes, this was today. I thought by posting I would see if this is a fluke or an ongoing problem. Sounds like I’m not alone. I could never stay in business operating this way. More power to him if he can. I think others should know what they’re getting into, that he can’t be relied upon to fulfill his commitments, or at the very least, cancel them. I would have been fine with a message saying he couldn’t make it. Or even a message after the fact saying he was hung over and slept in or whatever, but crickets. Barring some extreme circumstance, he clearly doesn’t care about his clients. Worse yet, I would have been scammed had I sent a deposit. I think others should be on watch for scam potential, and that potential is high in this case.

Not worth it on the provider side either. They won’t let me delete my ad, so it sits there with all content and photos removed. Waste of time. They don’t charge to place an ad, and the only way to upgrade is with cryptocurrency. Hard pass. To be fair, clients have hired me from MB but it’s rare.

MasseurFinder I was curious to try Brady after all the lively previous discussions on him (linking that thread below for reference). I requested an appointment about three weeks in advance. He asked for a 25% deposit, which I refused saying as a masseur myself I understand why he requires deposits, but I’m sorry I wouldn’t be getting to see him while I was visiting Phoenix since that is a dealbreaker for me. I sent him my ads for reference so he could see who I am, and hopefully recognize that I’m reliable. He said it’s ok he still wants to see me because I look normal (? 🤷‍♂️). I was very flexible about day and time, gave a week timespan saying I can plan around any time he prefers. It was crickets after that. Followed up a week and a half later and he confirmed his *high* pricing which I agreed to, and then he asked for a deposit again, same runaround, and then agreed I can pay his full rate in cash. All good. Morning of: messaged an hour before. Arrived promptly per his instructions, messaged. Nothing. Waited at the door 5-10 mins, then messaged saying I would wait in my Jeep with the AC. A good 20 mins goes by and I call it. No response… Man, oh man, am I glad I did NOT send a deposit. Clients, I feel your pain. I’m bummed out I won’t get to try his skills this trip and I could really use a break. That’s ok. I already booked another local masseur for later in the week. Any others have recent experiences since the last slew of commentary?

Veruca Salt energy!

Posts about providers based outside the US belong in their respective areas of the site designed to organize information about providers in other countries. That’s where it makes sense to look, and it’s inclusive. Why would you want a bunch of eyes on a post that US users are least likely to have experience with? You want relevant impressions, not number of impressions. Asking a moderator directly in the appropriate ask a moderator forum is the right way to go about this. Not passive-aggressively posting this here. It’s whiny. The site mods are doing us all a service by hosting this content at all, and doing a fine job at it, I might add - by working tirelessly to keep the problem posters and terms violating content at bay, proactively shutting down dumpster fire personal attack focused threads, and so on. It’s a lot to manage. Without all that work, the site would be unusable. I’m taking a wild guess that they won’t reorganize the site (also a lot of work) based on this complaint. Also, it doesn’t make sense. Like it or not, this site is US centric, and the majority of users hire primarily in the US. Use the Europe sections to post relevant topics about European providers. Makes sense to me!

On a related note: CashApp no longer supports business accounts, according to a notice I received today. Strictly peer-to-peer now. I guess I have to strike that off my list of accepted payments since I have to report my earnings via payment processors as business income. CashApp is one example of industry wide shifts in policy and regulations. It won’t be long before Venmo and others do the same. Apple Cash (aka Apple Pay) now imposes stricter limits on transactions. More lax if you register (10k/week), or $500/week if you don’t register. Register, meaning: tie your social security number to your account so the IRS and other agencies can monitor you more closely, which puts you more at risk of audits and criminal investigations. Any payments tied to your personal payment processing accounts are subject to investigation since they look like (and ARE) business income. Business accounts you pay taxes on payments received. All above board. Even my Apple Cash payments transfer to my business checking account, which I then pay taxes on. Since they’re limiting our options and preventing us from processing payments legitimately, they’re effectively pushing us more and more toward using cash, of which anyone might only report a portion (or none!). I don’t like that. You can’t legislate our industry away. It exists. Might as well let us pay taxes on our incomes, which benefits everyone in the end. Enforce human trafficking laws. Do not enforce moral attitudes regarding what consenting adults do privately.

As of today, the Visa option is still unavailable. One of my clients confirmed on his end. If the Visa option comes back online at all, it will probably be a while. Some users are able to still use Visa, but I’m guessing those are one off exceptions. Who on earth could deny our boy, Danny? 🤣

MasseurFinder RentMasseur Any experiences?

He DID book, and by some miracle he actually showed up when he said he would, we had the session, and he paid my rate. He was happy and plans to book again when I am in his city. That was that. Almost never do these end well, but this one did.

1) You could request to schedule a brief phone call to discuss all your questions, concerns, and to get a feel for the guy. 5 mins tops. Typically free, but do not expect your provider to pick up a random unannounced call from you any time, anywhere. Schedule the call, or ask if it’s ok to call. This minimizes the time your provider is spending seeing an alert from you, giving you his attention, then seeing another alert, stopping what he is doing to respond again, and so on. That process can drag on for hours, days, or even weeks if we don’t put boundaries around it. That process of setting boundaries is tricky because we have to strike a delicate balance between being firm, direct, honest, and polite. A lot of clients get butt hurt when we politely set a boundary instead of simply caving to their constant niggling one liner texts, demands for attention, and random half sentence questions / statements. Sometimes I get irritated and impatient and don’t handle it as well as I usually do. A succinct few paragraph messages back and forth will cover everything you and he need. A brief phone call respects his time. If you’re not calling: Summarize all your questions, scenarios, requirements, wants and needs into one or just a few text messages. I appreciate these because I can answer them all in one shot. The guys who keep asking one question, then another, and then half another, and then re-ask the same questions…these are the time wasters, the people we want to block. Here is a recent RentMen messenger exchange as an example of what NOT to do. Keep in mind the client waits a while between messages before sending another demand for attention. It’s really strung out over many hours at a stretch.

It’s a huge turn off for me. A massage gun displayed prominently in an ad communicates that this masseur uses the gun regularly as part of his routine, and that he doesn’t have a plan for how he uses the full time using only his body. Almost like it’s a crutch, or a way to fill time not actually massaging. I know one masseur who told me he uses it for that exact purpose. One of my worst massage experiences was with a guy who used a massage gun. He told me his hands were too tired from texting clients all day. I call BS. I want a real person to use their body - hands, arms, etc to massage me. Not turn on a device to substitute for what only a real, live human can do - a human I am paying quite a bit of money to do. Also there’s the human contact, the physical touch (especially from a man) you just can’t substitute. Massage guns have their purpose. I just find those situations better suited outside the context of a pricey session with a masseur. Now, sex toys, on the other hand…those can be fun. Best used in the context of an escort session though. Or a combo massage/escort session.

^Yes, this. I do not ask for Ubers but reliability and accountability is what providers are after, not simply to “expense” travel directly to the client. Just the other night I agreed to an outcall for a client 10 miles away. After agreeing on a rate for services, location, and what I should wear, I drove to his hotel, telling him right when I left that I am on my way and gave a precise ETA. I messaged when I arrived, saying I parked. He then read my latest message and immediately blocked me on the app. Such a waste of time. We never know with a new client if he’s serious or just playing games. It’s almost like this client deliberately wanted to waste my time and gas. He could have just said never mind before I left, or even on the way. Christ, he could have said anything at all after I arrived if he was a decent human being. Just blocking me is such a dick move. Coward. I’m not saying asking for an Uber is right or the way I personally do business, but I understand why some providers prefer an Uber. Not to make the client pay the travel expense, so much as it gives the provider greater confidence that the client will actually follow through, and if he doesn’t, the cost is on the client, not the provider. Requesting an Uber is another form of requesting a deposit. We’re not making money on deposits. We are making money on time spent with serious clients. This is one of many ways to identify more serious clients.

Yes, our views differ. A date is an imperfect analogy because this is business, but I’ll roll with it to walk through my thinking. All is well and good if neither party is contacting the other for a second or third date. The problem is when Party 1 contacts Party 2 for another date and Party 2 doesn’t want to see Party 1 anymore. It’s so easy for Party 2 to simply say, “No, thank you.” Or any unambiguous variation therof. That way Party 1 knows not to keep asking. To say anything different would be leaving the door open to Party 1 continuing to follow up, and that wastes Party 1’s time and energy to keep following up. To tell someone in so many words or between the lines that you don’t respect their time and energy is rude (my opinion, yours apparently differs on this point). The polite thing would be to not waste Party 1’s time and energy. “I’m going to a work function that night” means the reason Party 2 is not seeing Party 1 is because Party 2 has plans. Party 1 will keep following up, and that wastes Party 1’s time to have to keep coming up with more excuses each time. It behooves Party 2 to be honest and straightforward, so as to not waste their own time dealing with responding to more invitations from Party 1. Plus it’s respectful to Party 1 because Party 1 can spend their time and energy elsewhere. If Party 1 is polite, they won’t keep asking when Party 2 states simply and directly that they aren’t interested in meeting again. Simple as that. Everyone is being polite and we are all much better off for it. It’s only when Party 1 ignores Party 2’s polite response that it’s necessary for Party 2 to resort to dealing with the situation by ignoring/blocking/ghosting, lying, etc. At this point, these behaviors are perfectly acceptable because it’s the only way to get Party 1 to leave Party 2 alone. My argument is to give Party 1 a chance to show respect. By jumping straight to the impolite response from the get go, Party 2 is saying that they don’t trust Party 1 on respect their “No” response. A lot of the time Party 1 is a decent human and will respect a polite decline. I’m saying it’s polite to have faith in humanity, to give people a chance to reciprocate your respect. Jumping straight to block/ignore/lie assumes everyone is bad and won’t respect your boundaries when you say “No”. You may be surprised at how many DO respect “No” and don’t contact you anymore. All I’m saying is it’s polite to give people that chance, and by doing so, to acknowledge and respect the humanity of that other person. Ghosting I view as impolite, lazy, and cowardly. It’s like you care so much about how the other person will take your “No”, that you feel it’s better to say nothing at all. “No response is a response” is the toxic hookup culture bleeding its way into our daily lives. But these are not hookups. It’s business and these are people on both sides. It’s all too easy to dehumanize one another through a screen. I argue that by being honest and straightforward, you’re embracing your own humanity and respecting that of others. Just because ghosting/ignoring/lying is normal and common does not make it right. But y’all have different opinions about it being ok to ghost. I’ve said my peace. I’ll agree to disagree.

I believe the question was: how to politely “fire” a masseur? Here are a bunch of impolite suggestions I’ve heard so far: Lie Block Ignore Joke about STIs The polite, mature thing to do is tell him directly in your own words that you are not interested in hiring him anymore. Most masseurs will get it and stop contacting you. Only a small minority of guys will fail to respect your wishes, in which case it makes sense to block or ignore. The roundabout suggestions offered here only invite drama, resentment, confusion, and disrespect from both sides. Personally I hope you all take a moment to consider how to better treat your fellow humans. You are all adults, many with 1.5x, 2x, or more years under your belt than the men you hire. You should all know better by now. Use your words, fellow adults. It’s not difficult.

I agree! I wouldn’t expect any extras for this price range. Extras are unimportant to me and I really enjoy good therapy. Sounds like a great find. Thanks for sharing @aeikaryoko

Brett’s RentMasseur Profile Anyone here with experience? Someone referred me, says he does good work.

^Something along these lines is the best way, I think, to go about it. You’re being direct but not mean or rude. You’re probably open to hiring other masseurs (just not this particular masseur), so rather than lying, you could be direct and upfront. You don’t even have to say why. Placing the ball in your own court to contact him gives you say in whether you want to engage with him in the future. Maybe that is never, and that’s ok. The result is the same: your masseur knows not to contact you going forward. There’s no need to block. Blocking is for people who won’t respect boundaries, or people playing childish games on hookup apps. Would you appreciate being blocked or ghosted? (No, it’s a rhetorical question). Then don’t do it to someone else without reason. Him asking if you want to hire him isn’t exactly violating boundaries. Persistent? Yes. But hardly something to be upset about. In fact, I would commend your masseur for being proactive in giving you an opportunity to book again. I do this with my clients when I travel to other cities and most of them book again. In Dallas, some of my clients missed out because they waited too long after my notice ahead and I was too booked up to accommodate the times they could see me, especially for same day last minute requests or narrow windows of availability. I easily could have made those times work if they booked ahead. That’s why I contact them ahead. Really, it’s a courtesy I am extending by taking the time to individually reach out to give existing clients scheduling priority. I book up either way, so extending that priority to my existing clients is a privilege. I understand not everyone is able or willing to book ahead, and sure not everyone will want to repeat as in your case, but your masseur spending time reaching out to you individually is a favor to you as much as it is a way for him to generate business. You might do him a reciprocal courtesy by helping him conserve his time now that he knows not to reach out. It’s a win-win. Here is a sample response message: “Thanks for reaching out and for taking my appointment last [month, year, summer, whatever]. I don’t anticipate hiring you for more sessions when you’re in town, but I’ll be sure to reach out if anything changes.”

I’m guessing it will take some time for RM to switch the site back to accept Visa card payments again. That, or they are making exceptions for their most loyal clients and best reviewed providers. RM responded to me by comping a month of membership to reactivate my ad and give me time to get a MasterCard before my next membership payment becomes due. @moonlight the cryptocurrency discussion is on other threads, so I don’t want to derail this topic, but here is a bit on my feelings about crypto: 1) is not at all private. Forensics are easy to do for anyone with a cause. The ledger is public. You don’t even need a warrant to gain access or analyze. Your crypto account is tied to your identity. 2) offers no consumer protection. Once it’s transferred, it’s gone. There is no insurance, and no company willing to reimburse you for a loss when something goes wrong. Say you paid for goods or services but never received them. That money you sent you can’t dispute or ever get back. 3) the government tracks your crypto holdings. Remember, all crypto is tied to your identity, and the government knows who you are. You may as well be on a criminal watchlist, especially if you fail to report your crypto holdings or fail to pay taxes on crypto earnings. IRS tax forms now have a line asking directly if you hold crypto. 4) crypto is not yet widely accepted or used. Money is only good as a means of exchange when you can use it everywhere (or nearly everywhere). While this may change, for now, it makes crypto essentially worthless as money, unless you go out of your way to only use merchants who accept crypto. 5) Holding any amount of crypto may as well be a sign on your back asking the government to investigate you. No thanks. 6) Crypto is highly volatile compared to real money. Real money has its problems, and it’s not perfectly stable, but real money is more stable than crypto. For this reason, people hold it for a long time hoping to someday cash out. They treat it as an appreciable asset, like a house. You can’t pay for groceries with your house, and you aren’t taking out a second mortgage on your house to pay for your monthly water bill.