APPLE1

In my experience, that's one of the many advantages of hiring repeats - - - he gives the extra 10 mins to keep your business!

So... I typically see members in these discussions remind folks to look at the issue from both the client and provider sides. At least twice, by travelling/visiting providers, I have been offered 30 min sessions when I requested an hour. I was a first time client reaching out them. Should I be assuming there is something wrong with these providers and throw up red flags? Are we going to add disparaging comments about @Jarrod_Uncut or other providers because they have offered 30 mins sessions? (@Jarrod_Uncut - "NO, we shouldn't" would be my answer, in case it wasn't obvious). My favorite line in here comes from @DWnyc - "... in the absence of clearly defined guidelines, throw it all out there and see what sticks," and as many have said here, obviously, the WAY you throw it all out there, can have significant effect on the direction the interaction takes

For many years, I have had a couple of elderly neighbors who turn their porch light on in the morning when they get up and off when they go to bed. The neighborhood knows they system, and it has worked to save at least one gentlemen in distress. During the height of covid, and since, a number of young people on the block have engaged in the same system.

The best advice I see so far is to ask your attorney. Even in highly blue or red states, it very much depends on the family judicial district/region adjudicating the issue. Even more so, the specific judge and their stance is significant. Any family attorney, worth their weight in salt, should know local judicial attitudes for the general area, as well as for specific judges. While I recognize that knowing local judicial attitudes may give you huge peace of mind, my assumption, is that your attorney will likely tell you keep quiet unless it's brought up by another. Court rarely has to do with the truth. It's more about which side spins a better and more believable story. I have a friend who is a DA. One of his regular, infamous lines is: "my job would be nearly impossible if criminals would learn to keep their mouth shut. " And don't misunderstand. I am not saying you are a criminal. I am highliting the importance of not sharing things you are not asked about (other than with your attorney).

I think the provider could have responded more appropriately by saying something like "I don't do less than an hour meeting." However, just because someone throws the bitchy ball, it doesn't require that you catch it and throw it back. Personally, I always find that dodging it keeps internal strife down. On that note, I would have respond with something like "I am busy at work and only have 30 mins. I was hoping for a 30 min, $250 session. If that doesn't work for you, I understand."

I will agree that, "does not give me hot vibes..." is useless information. That being said, likewise, responses like "he is SO hot," are just as useless in my opinion. Neither one gives me any helpful information in deciding to engage, or not engage, a provider. However, I also not sure "...1950s I guess respect went out the window the older you got" is really in keeping with the philosophy "... if you don't have anything nice to say don't talk..."

OP here. I have done both. I have moved on and gotten the services I wanted in a time frame similar to what I wanted, and I have waited to see if there was ANY response (ie - sorry I was out of town, I have been incredibly busy this trip, etc). However, WHEN to move on, wasn't my question. The question was, and I may have inadvertently wrote it with some ambiguity, 'if there is NEVER a response, do I reach out again my/their next trip, the next time I am looking to hire, etc. If so, how many times before I stop inquiring.' That's certainly not a criticism of the direction this thread took, or anyone's response. Obviously, discussions take turns, and segways develop. Truth be told, as you will read below, the turns this discussion took, we're helpful to me in answering my own questions. I recognize that I don't have an employer / employee relationship with providers. They are independent contractors. Therefore, there's no reason to treat them any different than a contractor I contact to cut down a tree next to my house. I don't pay him a weekly salary, and he may very well not respond to me. I can hire someone else, and the next time I need another one cut, if I feel his reputation and circumstances warrant it, I can reach out to him again to see if I get a response. 2 or 3 times of reaching out for subsequent tree cutting jobs wouldn't make me feel like a pest or a stalker, so it shouldn't make me feel that way reaching out to ANY service provider. Finally, I think I can also apply the adage that I have found true for any service: good, cheap, fast - pick 2! Maybe good and cheap makes a provider too busy to respond immediately. Maybe good and fast makes a provider able to sit around most of the day and respond immediately because he is pricing himself above a reasonable rate. I can say from experience, that I have had clients who want their issues addressed IMMEDIATELY. Personally, I either make them pay through the nose for it, OR I decide they are too much work and refer them elsewhere.

@Unicorn and @BtmBearDad I can appreciate what you are both saying. I am sure, most of us, if we texted a dinner invite for Sat night to a friend, have friends that: 1) would respond an hour later with an explanation about why it took them an hour to respond, and within the next hour have time, place, and all the other details sorted out = folks who relish in and appreciate that a text allows virtual receipt anywhere, any time, and a nearly immediate response; and 2) would respond the following day and it might take us texts back and forth until Sat morning to establish a specific time to meet = folks who relish in and appreciate receipt virtually anywhere, and a response when it is convenient. While certainly the scenario is different, the fact that different people hold different views on how soon a response is dictated. Personally, I may be dating myself here, and I guess it would be a point in favor of @BtmBearDad but sometimes I really miss answering machines. You never got crappy messages about things you had to deal with in the middle of the day. You got those when your day was done, you were home and relaxed, and you could respond at your leisure!

Do you always get responses from a prospective provider? How many times do inquire before giving up, or assuming they aren't interested, and label you as a weird stalker? Does it vary for local vs visiting providers?

To each their own, but by god, if I can afford this hobby, I can afford to stick my parents in a motel. And I gladly do so, without a second thought!

Both my understanding and experience with Doublelist is that what is allowable/flagged is very regionally dependent I can definitely say that I have reconnected with providers on DL that I found on CL. Prior knowledge, and identifying a provider with a pic I recognized, made it virtually seamless! For "new" providers, word searches for "gen," "rub," "relax," and "oil" have proved fruitful for me. I can say, for the most part, I bring up the topic of cost first in an email exchange, but not always. If it wasn't evident, along with the above search terms, I assume providers ads will also have a pic/stats posted. Thank you and @nate_sf for talking about clients listing what they are looking for on RM. It seems really obvious now that you have both said it, but until now I really only viewed it as a forum for providers to tell about themselves.

I am by no means an expert in Latin, but the phrase at the bottom: DAPIBUS EGET ELEM Has something to do with craving protein. Anyone have a full/better translation?

I get the "physical look" aspect. What I have never understood is the random numbers assigned to a desired look. I think we all know guys who have the road hard put away way look at 25 and also understand that, 200 lbs looks very different on a guy 5'6 vs 6'5. There is NOTHING I love more than being hit up on an app, reading the profile, and being able to respond with "ooooh. . . sorry, but I am outside of your numbers standards." There is a bit of sweet justice to it, and more importantly, I always hope it makes people think about how random and irrelevant their numbers standards are.

👍 I TRY to always remind myself that people are very rarely setting out in life to be purposefully mean and hurtful. They are doing the best they can at that moment in time. They may have had a bad day, they may lack knowledge, experience, or forethought, or they may culturally live in a world where the standards of decorum and directness are very different from the world that I live in. Years ago, I had a bull break my humerus. Where the bone broke through the skin, I was left with a nasty bumpy, red lesion. I had a provider once ask 'why haven't you had that fixed?' I took a breath and decided that he probably really meant something like 'that would bother me if my arm looked like that' or 'if it bothers you, I have heard that X treatment can really improve scars.'

I understand that very few us, or likely none of us, are here choosing brains over beauty, and we could debate all day if we consider Columbia Ivy League. However, when I review the grammar and syntax errors in the writing, they seem to scream, 'I lack the command of the English language you expect from an Ivy Leaguer.' Now, if I don't have faith in the educational touts, why should I believe the other self proclaimed prowesses? Add to that the fake profiles on here, exorbitant rates, and peculiar pic cropping. The sum total means that not only do pink flags have to change to red, but flashing neon billboards and sirens are appearing in an effort to warn me as well.

Often with some providers. I always figured it was good advertising to keep yourself in clients minds. I get holiday cards from my dentist, and we aren't really tight! LOL.

https://rent.men/RoryDay https://friendboy.pro/boys/RoryDay Anyone have experience with him? Rentment just recently expired.

Most things in life are a trade off. Being in front of a TV/Movie camera, for example, is a trade off between money and giving up some privacy/ anonymity. However, the biggest trade off for that salary is typically that your EMPLOYMENT CONTRACT contains a morality or disrepute clause. When you are contracted to be the public face of a company, the company controls that face and its behavior. Hell, they sometimes contractually control hair color and weight!

https://app.rent.men/AXXLucHAIRYmacho Met with him probably a year and a half ago. I will start with a summary: Was it bad - no. Would I repeat - no. He is big and uncut. Seemed a little shorter than 5'8. Pics a little out dated. He wasn't in as great of shape, but not bad. Friendly Personable. Clean. Not a good kisser. Not rock hard. Certainly, everyone's experience may be different, but I don't think we had a connection. I feel like he put forth a lot of effort, and tried to give me what most expect from him. We had talked about my expectations prior to meeting, and once I got him back on that path, the session improved, but not 5 star.

RM ad changed: https://app.rent.men/ScotTyson