Needing some advice about my hire tomorrow

[+ WilliamM]

I hope you have a wonderful time. But even if it is not, you found a way to still keep the appointment.

 

Show a lot of very good things about you as a person.

[MikeyGMin]

So there is no risk to oral? I'm still fearful that I might ingest some pre-cum and be infected that way.

Honestly it doesn't sound like you've done your homework at all. There have been a boatload of threads on this topic where people have provided very valuable links where you can get the actual science. Do a search on "HIV transmission" or something like that.

 

I'm not trying to be rude, but I can't tell whether you are just uninformed or phobic. Neither bode well for a very successful session with a guy who has gone out of his way to be honest and upfront with you.

[+ OliverSaks]

So there is no risk to oral? I'm still fearful that I might ingest some pre-cum and be infected that way.

Avoid eating Doritos before the meeting.

 

Risk of transmitting HIV through oral is exceedingly rare when a person’s immune system has a chance to do its job. Intact mucous membranes do a pretty great job. Additionally, if he is virally suppressed, oral is approaching zero risk for HIV. (I would say zero risk, but I’m sure a case report exists out there where someone got infected with open wounds in his or her mouth and a partner with an unsuppressed viral load)

[gallahadesquire]

Note to the OP:

 

Your underlying anxiety indicates you really should go to your primary care practitioner and discuss the use of PrEP. I think it would go far to allay your anxiety.

 

And I am unanimous in this. -- Mrs. Slocumb, Are You Being Served?

Edited December 18, 2017 by gallahadesquire

[+ poolboy48220]

Avoid eating Doritos before the meeting.

Knowing Oliver Sak's healthy eating habits, I think he'd give that advice for any time. :-P

[MaybeMaybeNot]

Personally, I would talk to my doctor before (intentionally) having sex with someone who is poz, just because I am that cautious. For example, kissing is safe; however, what if you have gum problems? What if the person isn't exact with their meds? Online info is great, but it can't answer questions. And, a doctor will give you the straight up answer.

 

I appreciate that you are respectful of him while being cautious for yourself. Poz men face much rejection, I'm sure, when it is not a reflection on their sexiness or their quality as human beings. And, it is a testament to your escort's character that he was upfront with you about it.

 

Please let us know how it went, @youngboldone .

[Deadlift1]

You have all your bases covered. You made your decision and that is that. Now your just working yourself into an anxiety attack for nothing. If you intend on going just to talk about it with him you might as well flush the money down the toilet.

[youngboldone]

Okay, so an update on my session. I'll try to recap without it bleeding into review territory. We started by talking for about 40 minutes. That really put me at ease. The rest of the session was very satisfying. I stuck to safe activities - frottage, rimming, deep kissing, and oral. I really was amazed I was able to let go of my anxiety in the moment and truly enjoy myself with him. But ever since I drove home on Monday, I've been freaking out a little bit. The only moment I keep coming back to was me giving him oral, which only lasted a few minutes. He was pre-cumming, though, and now I'm paranoid that I may have ingested some of it. Based on all the research I've done, this doesn't put me at risk. But I'm a worrier by nature, and I'm starting to obsess about it. I'm overreacting, right?

[marylander1940]

Okay, so an update on my session. I'll try to recap without it bleeding into review territory. We started by talking for about 40 minutes. That really put me at ease. The rest of the session was very satisfying. I stuck to safe activities - frottage, rimming, deep kissing, and oral. I really was amazed I was able to let go of my anxiety in the moment and truly enjoy myself with him. But ever since I drove home on Monday, I've been freaking out a little bit. The only moment I keep coming back to was me giving him oral, which only lasted a few minutes. He was pre-cumming, though, and now I'm paranoid that I may have ingested some of it. Based on all the research I've done, this doesn't put me at risk. But I'm a worrier by nature, and I'm starting to obsess about it. I'm overreacting, right?

 

 

Yes, you're overreacting.

 

Next time hire another escort and test him before sex, I'm sure you'll worry about something else even if he tested negative right in front of your eyes.

 

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-H_oTRCKbvQo/T_VUgIky6qI/AAAAAAAABlg/n5_N1JcpCkQ/s1600/oraquick-hiv-test.jpg

Edited December 21, 2017 by marylander1940

[big-n-tall]

Okay, so an update on my session. I'll try to recap without it bleeding into review territory. We started by talking for about 40 minutes. That really put me at ease. The rest of the session was very satisfying. I stuck to safe activities - frottage, rimming, deep kissing, and oral. I really was amazed I was able to let go of my anxiety in the moment and truly enjoy myself with him. But ever since I drove home on Monday, I've been freaking out a little bit. The only moment I keep coming back to was me giving him oral, which only lasted a few minutes. He was pre-cumming, though, and now I'm paranoid that I may have ingested some of it. Based on all the research I've done, this doesn't put me at risk. But I'm a worrier by nature, and I'm starting to obsess about it. I'm overreacting, right?

 

Honestly, as long as you swallowed immediately (the virus can't survive the harsh environment of the stomach), didn't swish the precum around your mouth with an open sore... you're good.

[marylander1940]

Honestly, as long as you swallowed immediately (the virus can't survive the harsh environment of the stomach), didn't swish the precum around your mouth with an open sore... you're good.

 

Good point, I never used a condom for oral sex, not even in the 80's.

[+ Charlie]

Note to the OP:

 

Your underlying anxiety indicates you really should go to your primary care practitioner and discuss the use of PrEP. I think it would go far to allay your anxiety.

 

And I am unanimous in this. -- Mrs. Slocumb, Are You Being Served?

I am not so sure this is true. The OP's anxiety seems excessive--see his latest post after the appt--and despite all the info and reassurances he has received here, he still can't let it go. It seems to me that there is more here than just the rational fear of exposure to disease. I once ran an AIDS information hotline, and there were a few people who would call again and again, even when what they were doing carried virtually no risk of infection, because their real anxiety was about their sexual activity, and they avoided dealing with that by focusing instead on a tangential issue which seemed like a more rational excuse for worry. I think the OP is right when he says he knows he is overreacting about the HIV risk, but the next step would be to deal with why an apparently enjoyable sexual encounter has caused him so much psychological discomfort.

[gallahadesquire]

I am not so sure this is true. The OP's anxiety seems excessive--see his latest post after the appt--and despite all the info and reassurances he has received here, he still can't let it go. It seems to me that there is more here than just the rational fear of exposure to disease. I once ran an AIDS information hotline, and there were a few people who would call again and again, even when what they were doing carried virtually no risk of infection, because their real anxiety was about their sexual activity, and they avoided dealing with that by focusing instead on a tangential issue which seemed like a more rational excuse for worry. I think the OP is right when he says he knows he is overreacting about the HIV risk, but the next step would be to deal with why an apparently enjoyable sexual encounter has caused him so much psychological discomfort.

 

Of course! Sorry, but I fell into the "medical clinical" instead of the "psychological clinical." My bad.

Both would, I believe, be beneficial.

[rvwnsd]

...I think the OP is right when he says he knows he is overreacting about the HIV risk, but the next step would be to deal with why an apparently enjoyable sexual encounter has caused him so much psychological discomfort.

 

Of course! Sorry, but I fell into the "medical clinical" instead of the "psychological clinical." My bad.

Both would, I believe, be beneficial.

My guess is the anxiety had its root in the guilt arising from hiring an escort so he could have sex outside of his self-described sexless marriage.

[+ WmClarke]

So there is no risk to oral? I'm still fearful that I might ingest some pre-cum and be infected that way.

The only “no risk” is abstinence.

 

The risk from oral sex is so small as to be not measurable. If he is undetectable, it’s even smaller.