Are You . . . And Why?

[+ Travis69]

Out to friends and some family members. Don't think the parents could have understood it so never told them but funny enough all of their friends had gay children who also stayed in the closet from their parents. Went to a fairly conservative college so stayed in the closet for those years but then got the hell out of that environment. College years were my discovery years. Have since always lived in large cities and gay neighborhoods. Have been in a few jobs were I figured being in the closet somewhat was beneficial so I did it. Not proud of that. Living in a gay neighborhood I take a lot for granted, enjoy being the person I want to be and feel sorry for those who have to stay in the closet for their safety as far as where they live or their jobs.

[+ purplekow]

So funny. But all you have to do is "confide" in a few family members; everyone else will know for sure then.

Past a certain point, do family members need to be told? I have a nephew who is 35, never dated a woman as far as I know, who worked at Abercrombie and Finch so, in his words: "I could get a big discount." and who never discusses his private life though his best friend is a gay woman. It has generally it had been assumed by most family members, judging by the occasional reference in conversation, that he is gay. His parents seemed unaware. Then suddenly, his homophobic parents stopped making the more than occasional joking remarks about gay rights, gay pride and gays in general. Guess he had the talk with them, or someone did.

[+ sniper]

When asked why I hadn't made an announcement I said if they haven't put one and zero together after 40+ years, I'm not drawing anyone a picture.

[OCClient]

When I came out my brothers did cool things.

 

• Change churches to one that doesn't preach God will throw me into the lake of fire.
  
• Call Mom because they were worried about HIV and if I was going to be OK
  
• Give me a hug.
  
• And so on.
  

 

When I brought a jock boyfriend home I could tell my jock brother was jumping up and down inside. (Pick him. Pick him.)

 

My oldest brother offered to give my wedding reception after marriage equality happened, him assuming a wedding was going to happen.

 

It has been years now since I came out to them. I am glad my siblings, Mom, cousins, nephews, nieces an so on are aware.

 

When asked, I tell coworkers. I don't always make it easy, first asking why they would ask such a question and so on, but not in a mean way, just to clear the air about where they are coming from. In the end, having people in management know I'm gay has been good.

 

That said, I understand there is a reason why a disproportionate number of homeless youth are LGBT. Not every parent is a worthy parent. I come from a family that didn't use the N word or the F word or any other word such as those. I'm lucky that way.

 

Not every family is going to be as safe to be out to as other families.

[+ Charlie]

I had sex with another man for the first time when I was 17, and came out to my best friend a few days later; in return, he informed me that he slept with men, too. I came out to my parents at 19, because I wanted them to understand who I was. I have always lived with a male partner since I was 22, and have been married to one of them since same sex marriage became legal. I was active in gay rights groups from the time I was 21 till I was middle-aged, and carried the rainbow flag at the head of a Gay Pride parade (covered by local news media) when I was 33. My friends at the school where I taught were always aware that I was gay, and I came out completely in 1976 when I designed and taught a Gay Literature course; no one in the administration seemed at all surprised. I worked on an AIDS information hotline for four years in the 1980s, and was elected to the board of the local gay health organization. I lived for 40 years in sophisticated major world cities, and I have lived in Palm Springs since 2004. I have always had the appearance of a somewhat conservative middle-class male, but I have rarely felt any need to announce that I am gay, since anyone who can't figure it out from my history must be pretty dense.

 

Why have I always been out, even when being gay was not so socially acceptable? Because I found it much more psychologically comfortable to live honestly, even if it limited some of my options in life.

[Bearofdistinction]

Are you ever not a passive aggressive bitch?

 

Only long enough to be a Mother F*ckin Bastard

[Bearofdistinction]

So funny. But all you have to do is "confide" in a few family members; everyone else will know for sure then.

 

LOL - I told my older Sister during Freshman year in College

Her Response " . . . Well its about time I have known since you were 13"

 

And in about 27 seconds everyone else knew -- later on when I had a partner for 15 years he was welcomed into the family.

[+ Charlie]

LOL - I told my older Sister during Freshman year in College

Her Response " . . . Well its about time I have known since you were 13"

 

And in about 27 seconds everyone else knew -- later on when I had a partner for 15 years he was welcomed into the family.

On the other hand, when he was 18, my best friend told his 15 year old sister that he was gay, with full details (he even introduced her to people he was sleeping with), and she kept the secret from the family and her friends until he was involuntarily outed by military police several years later.

[Bearofdistinction]

Anyone else IN and want to share why they are not OUT?

[Kenny]

Anyone else IN and want to share why they are not OUT?

Don’t hold your breath. Even the Log Cabin Republicans around here won’t explain that political affiliation.

[TruthBTold]

Anyone else IN and want to share why they are not OUT?

 

I'm not really out but more because as an over 30 yo I never really had a reason to let anyone know. Ironically I assumed that people just knew. From what I don't know. I was outed to my family when one of my female friends (who I would bring to family functions because she also accompanied my siblings when we all went on vacations) asked my siblings why they hadn't found a "nice cute guy" for me and that they needed to try harder. I nearly passed out when she much later told me she did that.