Gay retirement destinations

[Leyte2019]

Aka "independent living community"

 

The thing I've noticed about elder housing is that, no matter how nice it is, none of the residents want to be there. My husband and his sibs found a beautiful place for their mom-it was like a luxury hotel. They literally had to sell the family farm in order to finance it. Yet she never stopped saying that she just wanted to go home.

 

We found an excellent place for my mom, affiliated with Emory University. She managed to tolerate it by spending her time plotting her escape.

 

Don't blame her one bit. We are very fortunate that my dad has gotten through many typical old age problems (hip, knee) with very difficult physical therapy without having to resort to the downer of assisted or independent living. I guess he could adjust, but it would definitely affect his spirit.

[RealAvalon]

Don't blame her one bit. We are very fortunate that my dad has gotten through many typical old age problems (hip, knee) with very difficult physical therapy without having to resort to the downer of assisted or independent living. I guess he could adjust, but it would definitely affect his spirit.

Lots of articles locally in last couple of years about multi-generational housing developments. Home is about friends and/or family not about staff (unless you're part of the 1% perhaps).

[Leyte2019]

Lots of articles locally in last couple of years about multi-generational housing developments. Home is about friends and/or family not about staff (unless you're part of the 1% perhaps).

 

That might be a smart alternative for me and many other single folks I know.

[Rudynate]

Don't blame her one bit. We are very fortunate that my dad has gotten through many typical old age problems (hip, knee) with very difficult physical therapy without having to resort to the downer of assisted or independent living. I guess he could adjust, but it would definitely affect his spirit.

 

 

That might be a smart alternative for me and many other single folks I know.

 

It might be different for aging gay men because we've faced the reality that there may not be friends or family in a position to care for us, so it's more of a deliberate choice. Nobody "put" us there.

[Leyte2019]

It might be different for aging gay men because we've faced the reality that there may not be friends or family in a position to care for us, so it's more of a deliberate choice. Nobody "put" us there.

 

Exactly

[+ bigjoey]

Aka "independent living community"

 

The thing I've noticed about elder housing is that, no matter how nice it is, none of the residents want to be there. My husband and his sibs found a beautiful place for their mom-it was like a luxury hotel. They literally had to sell the family farm in order to finance it. Yet she never stopped saying that she just wanted to go home.

 

We found an excellent place for my mom, affiliated with Emory University. She managed to tolerate it by spending her time plotting her escape.

 

My mother resisted moving into a CCC. Fought tooth and nail to stay in the home she loved. However, after living there for six months and realizing how it made her life easier, she confessed she should have done it a year or two earlier.

[RealAvalon]

My mother resisted moving into a CCC. Fought tooth and nail to stay in the home she loved. However, after living there for six months and realizing how it made her life easier, she confessed she should have done it a year or two earlier.

Move before you have to, more choices then.

[+ WilliamM]

Even in later years, my mother made it fairly easy for me by becoming friends with a counselor at her local senior center.

 

When Mom started having memory and healthy problem in a city I no longer know, I received invaluable help and advice from that senior center.

 

Another possibleresource.

[+ Charlie]

After five years of living with my spouse and me, at 94 my mother voluntarily moved into a CCC, because she felt that she would be more comfortable living among her age peers, and we would be more comfortable having our own home again.

[Rudynate]

My mother resisted moving into a CCC. Fought tooth and nail to stay in the home she loved. However, after living there for six months and realizing how it made her life easier, she confessed she should have done it a year or two earlier.

 

Its always nice to hear of good outcomes like this.

[+ tassojunior]

For overseas options, Slovenia and Croatia along the Adriatic in the Istria region are like Tuscany. I was also impressed with Bratislava, a charming city that’s the capital of Slovakia, but only an hour’s train ride from Vienna, which is consistently rated the world’s most livable city but twice as expensive.

 

But you have to deal with all those Bel Ami guys all around you in Bratislava.

 

[instudiocity]

Mom peed her bed nightly every time I visited her. Once she went into assisted living with her car and a separate living room, she never wet the bed.

 

The answer? The aides gave her the Lasix in the mornings instead of her taking it at bed time.

 

It’s amazing how much better her life was in that center.

[+ Charlie]

For overseas options, Slovenia and Croatia along the Adriatic in the Istria region are like Tuscany. I was also impressed with Bratislava, a charming city that’s the capital of Slovakia, but only an hour’s train ride from Vienna, which is consistently rated the world’s most livable city but twice as expensive.

Like Vienna, Bratislava is charming because it is structurally an old Hapsburg city (it used to be called Pressburg). Unfortunately, Slovakia on the whole is a fairly conservative, reactionary country, unlike the Czech Republic. Czecho-Slovakia was created after World War I by the western allies, largely because the Czechs and Slovaks spoke almost the same language, but their cultures were very different. The Czech half was industrialized and oriented toward secular western Europe, while the Slovak half was primarily agricultural and heavily Catholic. The split into separate countries after the collapse of the Iron Curtain has accentuated their differences. I would be more inclined to opt for Slovenia, which is more liberal, and has better weather.

[mike carey]

Cue comments about Tito and Lake Bled.

[Walker1]

How do these foreign destinations work out for the elderly with mobility issues or declining mental capacities-espeically since medicare/medicaid will not support there?

[+ Pensant]

Cue comments about Tito and Lake Bled.

Funny you mention Tito. I traveled to every Balkan country last year and was struck by how few older people I met or interacted with. Even on my current trip, almost all the people I’ve met are under 40. Back to Tito: most older people, from Croatia to Serbia, remember the Tito years fondly. Examples:

1. Peaceful relations among the federal republics and muted ethno-religious tensions

2. A reliable social services program. The Yugoslav State Bank provided 1% loans to buy flats and cars

3. The best passport in the world and the right to travel abroad

4. Oddly, boasting that Yugoslavia had the 4th biggest armed forces in Europe

 

I haven’t confirmed these facts; however, it shows how difficult it’s been for the older generation to adapt to capitalism.

[Guest]

Seems like an apartment community with limited services. No assisted living, skilled nursing or memory care. Some limited meal service.

https://fountaingrovelodge.com/

 

The female to male ratio is well, heavily female / lesbian.

[Bargara Leatherboy]

Cue comments about Tito and Lake Bled.

 

 

Lake Bled is beautiful but Ljublana with its markets and services would be a much better option.

[RealAvalon]

The female to male ratio is well, heavily female / lesbian.

So you're saying it's crawling with a lot of former AIDS activists

[Guest]

...The answer? The aides gave her the Lasix in the mornings instead of her taking it at bed time...

What did the directions on the bottle say? This is a medication which shouldn't be taken near bedtime. I'm surprised at how some doctors don't put specific directions on the label when medications need to be taken a certain way. If the medication should be taken every morning, that's what the label should say. If the label said "Take one a day," then that was a lousy way to write the prescription. On the other hand, I'm often surprised at how often patients don't bother to read the directions on the label. Its' not that complicated.

[instudiocity]

What did the directions on the bottle say? This is a medication which shouldn't be taken near bedtime. I'm surprised at how some doctors don't put specific directions on the label when medications need to be taken a certain way. If the medication should be taken every morning, that's what the label should say. If the label said "Take one a day," then that was a lousy way to write the prescription. On the other hand, I'm often surprised at how often patients don't bother to read the directions on the label. Its' not that complicated.

Once she went into assisted living she never wet the bed again. I’m not sure about the label directions but I’m sure Mom did what she decided was right.

[BSR]

My wildest fantasy is that I marry singer Steve Grand and we live happily ever after. My second wildest fantasy is that I win the lottery and retire aboard a cruise ship. A few (very few) people actually do it, but I wonder if the number will increase in coming years. If you do the math, the cost per day on a standard cruise line (not a luxury line like Crystal) is actually less than the cost of most assisted living centers. I imagine the food is quite a bit better on a cruise ship.

 

The big hitch is that you need to be in relatively good health since your access to doctors, prescriptions, and hospitals is very limited aboard a cruise ship. Forget all that; my big issue would be how to sneak escorts on board.

[Guest]

... My second wildest fantasy is that I win the lottery and retire aboard a cruise ship. A few (very few) people actually do it, but I wonder if the number will increase in coming years. If you do the math, the cost per day on a standard cruise line (not a luxury line like Crystal) is actually less than the cost of most assisted living centers. I imagine the food is quite a bit better on a cruise ship...

 

I absolutely kid you not. I actually attended a fully-accredited medical lecture in which the lecturer actually put up the idea of putting granny on a lifelong cruise rather than in an assisted living facility as a serious option. For the prices they were charging at the assisted living facility in which my mother spent her final months, she certainly could have been on a luxury cruise for less money. That being said, her dementia would have made her very difficult to handle for the cruise staff, and, of course, I (and my siblings) wouldn't have been able to see her. When I was visiting her at the assisted living facility, I did meet quite a number of residents whose minds weren't as far gone as my mother's was, and who probably would have been better off on a cruise. If one has long-term care insurance, though, I can't imagine they would pay for the cruise, but they would pay for the assisted living facility.

I personally have long-term care insurance, with the thought that if ever I really do get hitched, I'll never be a burden to my spouse, and that he gets everything coming to him. If my mind is OK, and it's just my body that's gone, though, I gotta say that I'd rather spend my final years on a cruise ship rather than in an assisted living facility. Well, my insurance would also pay for someone to take care of me in my house, so maybe that's better. Gotta keep my options open....

[+ Charlie]

I absolutely kid you not. I actually attended a fully-accredited medical lecture in which the lecturer actually put up the idea of putting granny on a lifelong cruise rather than in an assisted living facility as a serious option. For the prices they were charging at the assisted living facility in which my mother spent her final months, she certainly could have been on a luxury cruise for less money. That being said, her dementia would have made her very difficult to handle for the cruise staff, and, of course, I (and my siblings) wouldn't have been able to see her. When I was visiting her at the assisted living facility, I did meet quite a number of residents whose minds weren't as far gone as my mother's was, and who probably would have been better off on a cruise. If one has long-term care insurance, though, I can't imagine they would pay for the cruise, but they would pay for the assisted living facility.

I personally have long-term care insurance, with the thought that if ever I really do get hitched, I'll never be a burden to my spouse, and that he gets everything coming to him. If my mind is OK, and it's just my body that's gone, though, I gotta say that I'd rather spend my final years on a cruise ship rather than in an assisted living facility. Well, my insurance would also pay for someone to take care of me in my house, so maybe that's better. Gotta keep my options open....

Aren't the Eskimos reputed to have done that--put granny on an iceberg?

Seriously, though, I think I would go crazy on a cruise till the end of my days. I get antsy on a ferry boat.

[Rudynate]

What to do with the aging population? They actually don't want much - just to be allowed to age in place. They don't wasn't assisted living facilities that resemble luxury hotels, they don't want to be on a perpetual cruise or to be spending their days playing shuffleboard. They just want to live a life as normal as possible and to stay close to family and friends.

 

When I was in law school, I took an elective called healthcare law. There was a whole unit just on elder law. I remember reading in the text that the bias we have in the US toward delivering elder care in institutional settings is unique to the US. They said the same care can be provided in a person's home for 20% of what it costs to provide it in institutional settings like assisted living facilities. I have never tried to verify that statistic, but I have never forgotten it either.