Diminutives & Nicknames

[Epigonos]

Rather than hijacking another thread regarding this matter I decided to start a separate one. Please bear with me regarding a matter that has annoyed me for years. Diminutives and nicknames can frequently be a problem. I have had to correct people all my life regarding my REAL first name. My real name is NOT Robert but I’m going to use it as my example. Formal name is Robert, diminutive is often Robby/Bobby, and nickname is traditionally Bob but nowadays frequently Rob. My parents chose to legally name me Bob. I’ve spent a life time correcting teachers, government officials and just about everybody else that my REAL first name is not Robert; it is Bob. I don’t much like being call Robert and I absolutely loathe being called Robby/Bobby (it’s so terribly, terribly cute)

[Bucky]

If a lifetime of corrections STILL gets your goat, why not just snicker at the sound of it and let it go?

 

But if you feel the need to scoff every time someone makes the unintentional yet common error, isn't it you that has to deal with the negative energy surrounding it?

Edited August 6, 2017 by Bucky

[escortrod]

Surely if your parents chose to legally name you 'Bob', and you have not legally changed it to 'Robert' then your 'REAL first name' is Bob.

[beachboy]

Rather than hijacking another thread regarding this matter I decided to start a separate one. Please bear with me regarding a matter that has annoyed me for years. Diminutives and nicknames can frequently be a problem. I have had to correct people all my life regarding my REAL first name. My real name is NOT Robert but I’m going to use it as my example. Formal name is Robert, diminutive is often Robby/Bobby, and nickname is traditionally Bob but nowadays frequently Rob. My parents chose to legally name me Bob. I’ve spent a life time correcting teachers, government officials and just about everybody else that my REAL first name is not Robert; it is Bob. I don’t much like being call Robert and I absolutely loathe being called Robby/Bobby (it’s so terribly, terribly cute)

Quite agree. I had a relative called Julia who hated being called Julie & it always amused me to hear her adding the final syllable"A" in the face of anyone who did! I also hate my name being shortened except by those who are closest to me. From them its an endearment but from anyone else its disrespectful.

[escortrod]

Quite agree. I had a relative called Julia who hated being called Julie & it always amused me to hear her adding the final syllable"A" in the face of anyone who did! I also hate my name being shortened except by those who are closest to me. From them its an endearment but from anyone else its disrespectful.

You don't like being called Beachy?

[beachboy]

You don't like being called Beachy?

Certain people are at liberty to call me anything they wish!!

[Epigonos]

It can be a real problem NOT just an annoyance. Right after 9/11 I purchased round trip tickets to Europe. The travel agent chose to change the name I had given her and have the tickets issued in the name of Robert NOT Bob. Now my passport states Bob and the ticket must be issued in that name. The travel agent scoffed and had a fit that I insisted that the correction be made and that she bear the expense for the change.

[bostonman]

I most often go by the standard (quite normal) shortened version of my first name, though professionally (i.e. in printed programs, etc) I'll sometimes use the full thing. I also have a few friends, but very few, who will do the "-y" nickname for me. Which made for a funny story. I was in rehearsal for a show, with a cast of teens, but the director was one of my friends who would use the "-y" version of my name. But then some of the kids started using that name. And although I do go on a first-name basis, the nickname sounded strange - and I decided it wasn't really right for them to call me that. So, with an appreciative laugh, I said they couldn't.

 

But - Epigonos - you remind me of a teacher I once had in school - well, Hebrew school to be exact. I think if I had known him as an adult, I might have liked him, but to us kids at the time, he seemed so very formal in his ways. (Very "old school," pun intended.) Anyway, he would ONLY refer to us by full first names. I seem to remember a classmate named Pam who hated that he called her "Pamela" and even said that no one ever calls her that. But he insisted that was her name...(he may have backed off on that after a while, I don't remember.)

[+ oldNbusted]

Formal name is Robert, diminutive is often Robby/Bobby, and nickname is traditionally Bob but nowadays frequently Rob.

 

This made me smile. My equivalent example is I go by Rob, because it's short for Robespierre (a name no one dares to guess), but occasionally people call me Bob, to which so far I've been able to laugh and say 'guess again'.

 

Edit: And I'll shamelessly tailgate on your thread to say while getting my name wrong, or whatever, doesn't phase me, every single working guy I've dealt with who uses a nickname with me has used the same one "babe", which I hate hate hate but have decided to not say anything about as I don't want to make the good guys I want to repeat with paranoid about the things they say to me.

Edited August 6, 2017 by oldNbusted

[bostonman]

This made me smile. My equivalent example is I go by Rob, because it's short for Robespierre (a name no one dares to guess), but occasionally people call me Bob, to which so far I've been able to laugh and say 'guess again'.

 

The once love of my life (long story, though I think I've posted about him before) was Chris, but short for Christian. I've always thought that I'm not sure if could really ever date another Chris again, unless perhaps he was a Christopher and I could always call hum by his full name.

 

(Actually, Christian was actually his middle name, but he never used his given first name.)

[+ poolboy48220]

I went to school with a guy whose legal name was Danny. Not sure if he ran into the same problems you did later in life.

 

My name's short, one syllable, and doesn't lend itself to any abbreviations or modifications. I've wished I had a name that DID have a 'full' version and shorter version; I'm a bit tickled by the practice of being called by your full first name initially, and then once some level of friendship is reached, being called by a shorter name. It's very much like languages that have formal/informal pronouns, like "tu" vs "usted" in spanish. A friend spent the year between high school and college in Germany, and a woman there she'd become friends with invited her to use the less-formal terms (I don't know or remember the German forms). She said something like "sure, great" in return, and another friend kicked her under the table and whispered "This is kind of a big deal". Later that night, the woman offered a toast to their "newfound familiarity" (I guess it sounds better in German :-) )

[Epigonos]

Bostonman I found your comment about a teacher of yours interesting. As years pass some teachers loosen up while others tighten up. I happened to be in the loosen up group. As age made it evident that I wasn't a peer of my students I told them that they could call me Mr. + last name, just last name or first name. They could NOT, however, call me hey you, mack, dude, buddy, or coach. Over the years only one of two were able to comfortably use my first name, the vast majority came to prefer my last name without the Mr. Some of my colleagues had a shit fit that I allowed students to call me by my first name but if they made of point of criticizing me face to face on this I simply told them to mind their own fucking business.

Edited August 7, 2017 by Epigonos

[+ Gar1eth]

I realize it can be annoying to always have to correct people. My last name is often misspelled. And there is an obvious well-known example (I'd think) by most Americans-at least well-known by older Americans-back when we all had more of an identical cultural heritage. But I still frequently have to correct the spelling.

 

Part of the problem in @Epigonos is the name chosen by your parents (pardon my misunderstanding-I couldn't tell from what you posted if your name is actually Bob or whether you were using that as an example). I'm not saying 'Bob' isn't a great name. I like it a lot. But some people are naturally going to assume its short for Robert. Some people may even think they don't know the person well enough to call him 'Bob' and choose what they think is the actual name-Robert.

 

I have a long time acquaintance from elementary school. I can't really say friend because we weren't really although now we are FB friends and interact occasionally that way. He has a fairly unusual family 1st name which he has never used in the 48 years I've known him. Robby is a shortening of his last name. And that's what he's always gone by

 

 

Or take this- if I'm remembering correctly-I had a friend in high school whose parents named his brother Teddy. Why would you do that? It's a nickname already. I would've assumed his real name was Theodore, and they called him Teddy as a child. Luckily he's always gone by Ted.

 

Gman

[nycguy]

This really isn't on point as a diminutive but my birth certificate first name is John and from moment one my parents called me Jack. I have always been Jack to everyone but for any official document I have to use John. I always hated the first day of school where the teachers' records showed me as John and I would have to get them to call me Jack. My middle name is William. I knew I was in big trouble if while staring at me my mother called me John William. I am the youngest of three in my family and my father often called me "the kid" - well into my being an adult.

[+ oldNbusted]

I knew I was in big trouble if while staring at me my mother called me John William.

 

So funny to look back on now. I laughed so hard the first time I saw this ad.

 

 

"Middle name, not good"

[+ Gar1eth]

 

My name's short, one syllable, and doesn't lend itself to any abbreviations or modifications. I've wished I had a name that DID have a 'full' version and shorter version;

 

My name is short and one syllable too. It does have a ready nickname which is longer than my actual name. It might have been used when I was an infant. Other than that it's almost never been used except long ago by a guy I had a very strange relationship with. I also have a rhyming nickname that my older brother used to call me occasionally when I was little (It's not even dirty. My brother loves me.) But it fell out of use quickly

 

But that reminds me of when I was in second or third grade. We had a reading circle. Sometimes the teacher went by last name alphabetical order to decide who was to read 1st, and sometimes she would change it up and go by 1st or middle name. My 1st name letter is in the middle of the alphabet, and the 1st letters of my middle name and last name are towards the end. I was miffed that someone named Robert could go by Bob and get to answer near the front. I went home and asked my Mom whether there were any nicknames for any of my names which would put me nearer the front of the alphabet. Unfortunately there weren't.

 

 

I'm a bit tickled by the practice of being called by your full first name initially, and then once some level of friendship is reached, being called by a shorter name. It's very much like languages that have formal/informal pronouns, like "tu" vs "usted" in spanish.

 

A friend spent the year between high school and college in Germany, and a woman there she'd become friends with invited her to use the less-formal terms (I don't know or remember the German forms). She said something like "sure, great" in return, and another friend kicked her under the table and whispered "This is kind of a big deal". Later that night, the woman offered a toast to their "newfound familiarity" (I guess it sounds better in German )

 

 

It's 'Sie/Sie' (sing/pl) for the formal and 'du/ihr' for the informal. I took 3-1/2 years of German in college but have only been to Europe once. So I don't have a good cultural-knowledge sense of the use. Some regions are stricter than others, but I'm betting whom you use which form with is probably similar to Spanish. But as one example, I hear Austria, or at the very least Vienna, is traditionally very formal. I've heard that people who have worked together for years who are at the same level will often still use the Sie form with each other.

 

 

 

 

Gman

[MikeyGMin]

uses a nickname with me has used the same one "babe", which I hate hate hate

I don't really consider it a nickname as much as a term of endearment, but I love love love being called babe. I think it's the perfect level of endearment. Not too sickly-sweet nor too overtly sexual.

 

Just another example of nothing being universal. It's all about knowing your audience.

 

But to stay on topic. I have no problem telling people what I prefer to be called, but it varies based on the person. My name really is Mike. Even though I use Mikey in my forum handle, I only let my closest friends call me that. I am not fond of Michael, and I never introduce myself with it, but I will tolerate it from women and gay men. (Gay men seem to have a penchant for using full names.)

 

I'm just grateful my name is not Richard. I would definitely insist on being called Rich. I don't know how anyone tolerates being called Dick!

[BabyBoomer]

 

Edit: And I'll shamelessly tailgate on your thread to say while getting my name wrong, or whatever, doesn't phase me

 

Ok babe.

 

~Boomer~

[+ oldNbusted]

I don't really consider it a nickname as much as a term of endearment...

 

Yeah, I have to keep reminding myself they have good intentions.

.

 

Ok babe.

 

Ha, it could be worse, if they actually called called me "Daddy".

[gallahadesquire]

Richard. Dick. Rick.Ricky. Rich. Richie.

 

It's Richard, please, although a pile of people still know me as "Rich".

[BasketBaller]

(Actually, Christian was actually his middle name, but he never used his given first name.)

My parents had an odd idea-- my two older brothers and I have always been called by our middle names. I like my first name, but I never use it. I get junk mail addressed to that name, though.

[BabyBoomer]

.

 

 

 

Ha, it could be worse, if they actually called me "Daddy".

 

Or "Gramps".

 

~Boomer~

[bostonman]

My parents had an odd idea-- my two older brothers and I have always been called by our middle names. I like my first name, but I never use it. I get junk mail addressed to that name, though.

 

My parents gave me and my brother the same initials - in case we ever had monogrammed stuff to share or to pass down. We never did, and still don't.

[Kippy]

A life lesson to be learned is usually to stick with a tried and true formal name as a legal one and you can modify it anyway you want later. Case in point--30+ years ago one of the students in one of the classes I was teaching was named Nikki. The problem was that by his sophomore year he was 210lbs and 6 feet tall and a star on the football team--"Nikki" just wasn't going to cut it. When he turned 16 and was old enough to do so, he marched right down to the court house and legally changed his name to Nicholas. Lesson learned-- what may seem timely or cute may not stand the test of time! My nephew was going to formally be named "Alex". I begged them to legally make it Alexander. God only knows but 30 years from now "Alex" may be a girl's name. My cousin was named Alexis--often a boy's name. Each year when she got back to school she was on the seating chart in the front of the classroom with the boys because the nuns thought it was a boy's name and planned the chart before school started. Sometimes common sense has to trump novelty.

 

Kipp (short for Kippy)

[bostonman]

God only knows but 30 years from now "Alex" may be a girl's name. My cousin was named Alexis--often a boy's name. Each year when she got back to school she was on the seating chart in the front of the classroom with the boys because the nuns thought it was a boy's name and planned the chart before school started.

 

Some years ago, doing a summer theatre youth program, I had an actor named Marco Jo Clate on the student list. Well - you already guessed it - Marco was female. Not only that, but given the first name, I somehow figured that the last name would be Latino or Italian, pronounced "Clah-tay." Guess again. The name rhymed with "great." One never knows...

 

Very nice girl, by the way. She wound up playing the Streetsinger in Threepenny Opera - which ironically, is usually a male role.