The having followers thing

[Smurof]

How do some have so many with so little posts? Is it their hot pic which might not even be them? I'm guessing it's by being far less obnoxious than myself, but can't be positive. It's like seeing "Smurof" is like noticing caller ID, where you roll your eyes and just ignore.

[LaffingBear]

Why do you care?

 

As I type that, I realize it might seem like a snide question.... but I'm genuinely curious about people's thoughts about social media followers, likes, FB friends, etc.

[LaffingBear]

I do care, but you bring up a valid point that I shouldn't.

I didnt say that. Im not suggeeting you shouldnt care. Notice and validation are human. And important.

 

I dont care about followers, but I often care about likes.

 

I simply find the idea of validation through social media to be overvalued. Its a strange dynamic, something akin to supply-side marketing. People will see something, and click like. That doesnt mean they wanted to see it, or that they would have demanded it. People will slow down on the highway to view a wreck - it screams for attention. That doesn't mean tha they wanted to see a wreck.

 

The whole thing is very bizarre to me. As is the way electronic attention-seeking behavior has pervaded sooo many aspects of our lives.

[bostonman]

In terms of "likes," at least on a forum such as this, I'd frankly much rather actually respond to a post I appreciate, instead of just "liking" it. I value discussion over ratings. I also value ALL reasonable discussion/debate, warts and all. (As opposed to people who seem to be overly concerned about how others might judge what they post.)

 

On a site like Facebook, I find I might "like" a post simply to let a friend know I've seen and supported what they wrote, though I may not have anything specific to add. But just as on here, I actually prefer to be able to add a real response when possible.

 

I also don't particularly like the term "like," as I don't think the word always fits the action.

 

While we're on the subject of facebook, I had to "unfriend" someone last week for the first time. Nothing dramatic, but it was still somehow odd to have to do it. Just a situation where someone was sharing a bit too much about their recreational habits, and I just didn't want to know, lol. But ultimately it wasn't such a big deal.

[+ honcho]

While we're on the subject of facebook, I had to "unfriend" someone last week for the first time. Nothing dramatic, but it was still somehow odd to have to do it. Just a situation where someone was sharing a bit too much about their recreational habits, and I just didn't want to know, lol. But ultimately it wasn't such a big deal.

 

It is possible to stop "following" somebody , but still be their faceboook "friend". You won't see their posts unless you explicitly visit their page, and I don't think they get notified or can tell necessarily that you've stop following them if you don't make public who you are following. Less of a slap in the face ...

 

I've unfollowed a couple of friends just because of the prodigious amount of their posting, which was making time-consuming to keep up with everybody else.

[+ José Soplanucas]

In terms of "likes," at least on a forum such as this, I'd frankly much rather actually respond to a post I appreciate, instead of just "liking" it. I value discussion over ratings. I also value ALL reasonable discussion/debate, warts and all. (As opposed to people who seem to be overly concerned about how others might judge what they post.)

 

On a site like Facebook, I find I might "like" a post simply to let a friend know I've seen and supported what they wrote, though I may not have anything specific to add. But just as on here, I actually prefer to be able to add a real response when possible.

 

I also don't particularly like the term "like," as I don't think the word always fits the action.

 

While we're on the subject of facebook, I had to "unfriend" someone last week for the first time. Nothing dramatic, but it was still somehow odd to have to do it. Just a situation where someone was sharing a bit too much about their recreational habits, and I just didn't want to know, lol. But ultimately it wasn't such a big deal.

 

As in Facebook, I think here the meaning of "Like" is not univocal. I use it some time to express I do like a post, sometimes to recognize I respect a post even if I disagree or dislike it, sometime to make sure it is known I have read the post if it is a port of a conversation.

[bostonman]

It is possible to stop "following" somebody , but still be their faceboook "friend". You won't see their posts unless you explicitly visit their page, and I don't think they get notified or can tell necessarily that you've stop following them if you don't make public who you are following. Less of a slap in the face ...

 

In this case, I think I made the appropriate decision. Again, nothing earth-shattering, but ultimately this is someone who sent me a friend request for whom I shouldn't have followed through with in the first place. I think sometimes we respond to friend requests from someone we know because it seems the nice and friendly thing to do. In this case, I think it wasn't the right choice.

[+ WilliamM]

For me "likes" are particularly valuable in the Gallery. I knew nothing about choosing photos a year ago beyond Paris and Milan might be a good places to start. My first try was "Milan naked male models."

 

So many people helped, especially @Truereview and @TruHart1, by liking some photos and not other photos. Truereview barely knew me at first.

[rvwnsd]

I don't think there is one answer to the question you posed. I follow people whom I've conversed with via PM, those whose posts stand out for some reason, and those whom I have "known" for a long time. Honestly, I started "following" people when the feature debuted and when I found that it didn't really do anything I stopped following people.

[+ honcho]

Again, nothing earth-shattering, but ultimately this is someone who sent me a friend request for whom I shouldn't have followed through with in the first place.

 

In the SF Bay Area, there's a guy who plays trumpet who had water on the brain as a baby, but was such a precocious child that he compensated for it until severe damage was done, too late to be addressed. Developmentally, he behaves as if he were a 10 year old child, but played in trumpet in a major regional orchestra until the Conductor couldn't deal with his disruptions.

 

I've known him from back in the day, 40 years ago when we both played in the college orchestra of a major west coast public university.

 

When I joined facebook, he asked to be a friend , and sent me 100 friend suggestions. I got a number of friend requests from people of good nature and will, out of that group of people, who I otherwise did not know, and didn't have the heart to turn them down or explain. A few are also majorly respected musicians in the area that I would not have dreamed of asking, since I've had no professional interactions with them.

 

So, I *get* the idea of how one might asked to be friended by strangers . . .

[+ WilliamM]

In this case, I think I made the appropriate decision. Again, nothing earth-shattering, but ultimately this is someone who sent me a friend request for whom I shouldn't have followed through with in the first place. I think sometimes we respond to friend requests from someone we know because it seems the nice and friendly thing to do. In this case, I think it wasn't the right choice.

 

"Likes" are a plus on Facebook and here. Facebook likes serve to underline both short and long-term friendships with people who live in other countries. I very glad Facebook has that feature.

[+ purplekow]

I do not "like" much. For me, I would find "appreciate" and "read" and "disagree" as more helpful than like. Sometimes I will spend quite a bit of time editing out a particular long post and then after a few days, if there are not likes and no comments, I wonder if anyone has even read it. If it has been read and ignored it is worse than if it has been read and found wanting, but if it has not been read, that is the worst case scenario.

[bostonman]

In the SF Bay Area, there's a guy who plays trumpet who had water on the brain as a baby, but was such a precocious child that he compensated for it until severe damage was done, too late to be addressed. Developmentally, he behaves as if he were a 10 year old child, but played in trumpet in a major regional orchestra until the Conductor couldn't deal with his disruptions.

 

I've known him from back in the day, 40 years ago when we both played in the college orchestra of a major west coast public university.

 

When I joined facebook, he asked to be a friend , and sent me 100 friend suggestions. I got a number of friend requests from people of good nature and will, out of that group of people, who I otherwise did not know, and didn't have the heart to turn them down or explain. A few are also majorly respected musicians in the area that I would not have dreamed of asking, since I've had no professional interactions with them.

 

So, I *get* the idea of how one might asked to be friended by strangers . . .

 

Oh, this was someone I know. I broke my own general rule - this is a teen student of mine in a summer program that is just about over. I accepted his request in good faith (when the program started and we set up a private page for the whole group), as a positive gesture. (I don't generally friend even my college students until they graduate; I should have stuck to my rule here that I wouldn't have friended this young man until after our summer program, if at all.) And it was a post about his drug use that made me hit the unfriend prompt. I realized that I don't feel like I have a real place to lecture him - I could, but I just don't feel comfortable with that - but that in any case, I just didn't want to deal with those kind of posts from someone his age. If he's aware that I unfriended him (and I know that people aren't alerted to that when it happens), he hasn't let on. And if he does want to know why, I'll be honest with him. But the other thing is that ultimately I don't think this is someone I'm going to feel the need to socialize with much in the future (even in a facebook sense) - so ultimately we don't really need to be facebook friends regardless. Again, no major deal, just not someone I need to be fb friends with.

 

In general, I don't tend to friend people I don't know well. Every now and then I get a friend request from someone I only know tangentially, or maybe a friend of a friend, etc - and I just don't feel like we have enough of an association. I know some people love seeing how many fb friends they can get, lol - I just like having my circle of people I know and enjoy sharing with. I don't mind widening that circle, but I tend to save that for people that I really feel connected with in some way already.

[+ WilliamM]

Honestly, I started "following" people when the feature debuted and when I found that it didn't really do anything I stopped following people.

 

I have had the exact opposite experience. Sometimes "likes" have been the start of a much better relationship. If "likes" were discontinue it would be a very significant loss for me here.

[rvwnsd]

I have had the exact opposite experience. Sometimes "likes" have been the start of a much better relationship. If "likes" were discontinue it would be a very significant loss for me here.

I was referring to "following" posters, not "liking" posts. I "like" stuff all the time and have had the same experience as you.

[+ WilliamM]

How do some have so many with so little posts?

 

It can happen to someone who posts photos in the Gallery.

 

A good example was Truereview before he moved to South America.

[+ honcho]

And it was a post about his drug use that made me hit the unfriend prompt. I realized that I don't feel like I have a real place to lecture him - I could, but I just don't feel comfortable with that - but that in any case, I just didn't want to deal with those kind of posts from someone his age

 

I completely understand; were I in that situation I would grieve a bit for him and likely do the same thing.

[+ Charlie]

Since this is the only social media site I have ever visited, I always assumed that "likes" and "followers" were peculiar to this forum. I didn't realize that they are generic items. This thread makes me feel less special.

[Nvr2Thick]

It seems that the "following" feature on this forum's software helps with locking down the PM function. You can open up PM's to all members, shut off PM's entirely, or restrict PM's to the members you are following. I can see it being useful for more active or provocative members who might inspire a lot of PM activity. Much like the trophy section, it's probably more useful for different types of forums using this platform as a base. I originally started following members because I thought it would allow me to track their post and comment activity.

[BabyBoomer]

I originally started following members because I thought it would allow me to track their post and comment activity.

 

It did until the update of February 2015.

 

~Boomer ~

[gallahadesquire]

In terms of "likes," at least on a forum such as this, I'd frankly much rather actually respond to a post I appreciate, instead of just "liking" it. I value discussion over ratings. I also value ALL reasonable discussion/debate, warts and all. (As opposed to people who seem to be overly concerned about how others might judge what they post.)

 

On a site like Facebook, I find I might "like" a post simply to let a friend know I've seen and supported what they wrote, though I may not have anything specific to add. But just as on here, I actually prefer to be able to add a real response when possible.

 

I also don't particularly like the term "like," as I don't think the word always fits the action.

 

While we're on the subject of facebook, I had to "unfriend" someone last week for the first time. Nothing dramatic, but it was still somehow odd to have to do it. Just a situation where someone was sharing a bit too much about their recreational habits, and I just didn't want to know, lol. But ultimately it wasn't such a big deal.

 

You didn't need to "unfriend" them. You can "unfollow" them. I have two facebook friends (and a third to follow) who post 10-15 times a day, and the content is nothing I'm interested, but I do want to know about their lives.

 

The third one is a woman with multiple environmental allergies, and she just complains. I think the fact that no one comments on her posts is testimony to the fact that nobody gives a care to her plight. She's clueless.

[bostonman]

You didn't need to "unfriend" them. You can "unfollow" them.

 

I understand what you're saying. But unfriending this particular person was the right thing to do in this case. So I respectfully say, please don't tell me I didn't need to. I did need to.