Meet as good as the anticipation?

[beachboy]

I wonder how often guys experience a meet the turns out to be as good as our anticipation. Do we expect a working guy to live up to impossible standards that only exist in the fantasies in our minds? I have been guilty of this & consequently disappointed. Eventually I came to my senses & hired a reviewed guy & forum member & had the time of my life. Now of course I want to book him again & fervently hope it will be as good again & have no reason to believe it won't be. I guess its just a case of finding the right guy for each of us without expecting Superman- mind you that could be fun - the pants over the tights thing! Supermen exist in many guises. End of rambling!

[N13]

Anticipation usually always beats actuality. The best meets that I have had have always been a surprise of compatibility - which one can hope for, but can't control. It is amazing how one who is not the 'ideal' can turn into a wonderful experience simply through the force of his personality and charm. Perfection of looks can vanish quickly when the person is less than agreeable!

[LivingnLA]

Fantasy is frequently "better" than reality simply because it's based on our own wants, dreams, and wishes without regard or consideration for anyone else.

 

Reality though is a fully embodied experience that exists in real-time and as such can be far more robust and powerful if we're open to the experience.

[marylander1940]

Anticipation usually always beats actuality. The best meets that I have had have always been a surprise of compatibility - which one can hope for, but can't control. It is amazing how one who is not the 'ideal' can turn into a wonderful experience simply through the force of his personality and charm. Perfection of looks can vanish quickly when the person is less than agreeable!

 

Yes, it takes 2 to tango.

 

Fantasy is frequently "better" than reality simply because it's based on our own wants, dreams, and wishes without regard or consideration for anyone else.

 

Reality though is a fully embodied experience that exists in real-time and as such can be far more robust and powerful if we're open to the experience.

 

Yes, no doubt, but for some folks no matter what happens:

 

http://www.teamhughesrealestateschool.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/GlassHalfEmptyHalfFull.jpg

 

 

[LivingnLA]

Yes, no doubt, but for some folks no matter what happens:

 

http://www.teamhughesrealestateschool.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/GlassHalfEmptyHalfFull.jpg

 

 

 

Very true, if someone is an optimist, they're more likely to be open to the possibilities and thus enjoy themselves even though reality doesn't exactly match fantasy. A pessimist, will likely be disappointed and possibly close down further exploration.

[marylander1940]

Very true, if someone is an optimist, they're more likely to be open to the possibilities and thus enjoy themselves even though reality doesn't exactly match fantasy. A pessimist, will likely be disappointed and possibly close down further exploration.

 

Right on!

 

A pessimistic person after hiring the escort will go back to his life, and might wonder why he can't have a bf/hookup as hot as the guy he just hired.

[Epigonos]

I think it is interesting and funny how many of us look at things differently. I, for example, have found that being the pessimist I am, I am frequently pleasantly surprised when things I thought would turn out badly in fact turned out well. On the other hand I am frequently disappointed when things I expected to turn out well, in fact, turned out badly.

Now as regards hiring I have found that as I have aged and have spent more time pursuing this hobby of ours I am more frequently disappointed with new hires. I attribute this to several things: 1.) over time my tastes have become more defined and 2.) probably more importantly I have, over the years, developed of small group of regulars who do a fantastic job fulfilling my expectations. More and more often the new guys I hire don't measure up to my regulars. 3.) Another possible factor in my disappointment with my new hires may be because of something I am loath to admit - MY AGE.

[+ WilliamM]

I do not think much about expectations.

 

Sometimes waiting years to hire a well know escort from another part of the country is worth the candid conversation and very charming personality as much as the sex.

[JayCeeKy]

"After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing after all as wanting. It is not logical; but it is often true."

 

--- Mister Spock

[+ nycman]

On the scoreboard of my hires....."fantasy" is beating "reality" by a mile.....

 

But on the rare occasion that "reality" wins.....it's FUCKING AWESOME!

[+ Funguy]

I have to say that, in my case, anticipation/fantasy is equalled or exceeded by reality in most cases.

 

I choose carefully, repeat providers, know what I'm in for. "My" guys know what I like and always cum through.

 

With a new guy, I try not to build things up beforehand just because I don't want to be disappointed AND I want to be thrilled by about how he approaches a new client.

[big-n-tall]

Except for a few occasions with working guys, most of my hires have met or exceeded expectations. Those are the guys I tend to hire repeatedly.

[+ glennnn]

So far, so good! Maybe, I'm too easy, .......er, easily pleased, but each adventure has been both filling and fulfilling. Reality beats fantasy every time.

[Cure694u]

Until recently, and as a married man in a straight relationship, all I've ever known was gay porn and I've fantasized for years about what I'd do and how. Until I met my first "experience" a couple weeks ago and it wasn't all what I thought it'd be.

 

Mind you, I'm still eager to give this another try and this forum has been great for me and I think I'll be going the route of an escort or male lap dance next time.

 

I know what I want in this new experience (frankly, I'm only interested in bottoming and getting on my knees — I've only tried the latter and I know I did terribly) in my defense, I didn't feel any chemistry and I think I simply settled. I tried sucking his cock but, I didn't even like the size or shape of his cock (is that weird?!) I didn't finish the job and so I left abruptly.

[Becket]

Good for you, Cure. Chemistry is everything. Doesn't matter how hot the guy is unless you make some connection. I found going to SR in Atlanta early on helped me sort out the kind of guy I wanted to hire. Although clearly not the same experience as hiring an escort, it helped lessen my nervousness and awkwardness to spend some time hanging out with younger cute guys at the strip club. Cheaper as well.

[LADoug1]

Good for you, Cure. Chemistry is everything. Doesn't matter how hot the guy is unless you make some connection. I found going to SR in Atlanta early on helped me sort out the kind of guy I wanted to hire. Although clearly not the same experience as hiring an escort, it helped lessen my nervousness and awkwardness to spend some time hanging out with younger cute guys at the strip club. Cheaper as well.

Who is SR?

[LivingnLA]

Until recently, and as a married man in a straight relationship, all I've ever known was gay porn and I've fantasized for years about what I'd do and how. Until I met my first "experience" a couple weeks ago and it wasn't all what I thought it'd be.

 

Mind you, I'm still eager to give this another try and this forum has been great for me and I think I'll be going the route of an escort or male lap dance next time.

 

I know what I want in this new experience (frankly, I'm only interested in bottoming and getting on my knees — I've only tried the latter and I know I did terribly) in my defense, I didn't feel any chemistry and I think I simply settled. I tried sucking his cock but, I didn't even like the size or shape of his cock (is that weird?!) I didn't finish the job and so I left abruptly.

 

@Cure694u, welcome to the forum. Search the threads. Post your questions. There are some amazing people here with great advice and wisdom.

 

Your first experience was a random hookup? Those are frequently hit or miss, especially since you clearly want to be a bottom. I found it's very easy to find bottoms when hooking up and not so easy finding good tops.

 

Chemistry is important. If you can, I would advise you to start checking out guys a bit. Be discreet! But, try to figure out what gets your motor revving. Do you like them young? Muscled? Prefer a certain attitude? Want a large lollipop? Cut? Uncut? We all have our particulars.

 

Once you know what you like, search for a professional escort that is a good match. The best way, would probably be to post a new thread on the forum saying what you're looking for and asking for recommendations.

 

I say this, because you sound like you want to learn how to suck cock and the fastest way is probably to hire an escort you're into and ask him to guide you. Make it a fantasy thing. Where he's verbal and demanding you suck him exactly the way he wants. Or something similar.

[Cure694u]

@LivingnLA thanks for this response! You're spot on. Since I'm an expert in gay porn (watching for so many years!) I've had enough time to think about the type of guy I like: Not young/mature (even young guys can be mature), hairy (I find myself turned on the most when watching a hairy man top a seemingly innocent guy), I find myself loving huge cocks but, in the real world, I may not be able to handle it so soon. I'm very open to smaller cocks too, actually. As for my first lucky top, I'd definitely want him to be verbal with me and definitely demand that I suck his cock (and yes, I will need lots of guidance).

 

As for my first encounter, yes, it was a random hookup (found him on Craigslist, I really don't know where else to find guys other than a gay bar and I haven't felt comfortable enough to check out that scene). He wasn't my type but I reasoned "cock is a cock right?" But, that isn't true. I wasn't into his look nor his cock.

 

For me, I'm not the athletic type but, I'm far from unattractive. I'm straight so, I'm really counting on a very good second try and if you have any recommendations for an Escort, I'd try I guess. I live in NYC (Chelsea area of all places) so, should be easy huh? Then why is it so difficult?

 

Argh!

[Cure694u]

@LivingnLA here's a look at one of my favorite videos, I spend way too much time watching and not enough time doing. Would love to bottom someone like this guy:

http://www.xvideos.com/video3202978/parker_perry_fucks_tyler_bolt

[LivingnLA]

@Cure694u, are you up on all your STD - STI tests and vaccinations? Make sure you know you're free of everything and make sure you have your HepA, HepB, HPV, and Meningitis shots. If you don't want to share such questions and needs with your doctor because you're worried about your wife finding out, get another doctor. Go to Planned Parenthood or the local STD-STI clinic. AND, educate yourself on safer sex and decide what's right for you and your wife, since y'all are presumably still having sex.

 

You're in NYC and you want a hairy, verbal, gentle but firm/dominate top? Is that a fair summary? Did I miss anything?

 

I don't know the NYC market, but a quick search of rent.men for a hairy top in NYC results in 26 ads. A search for very hairy results in 10 ads and light hairy results in 82 ads. Given the video you linked, I assume you'd prefer someone in the hairy or very hairy ads, so that gives you 36 to review.

 

I believe @Kurtis Wolfe is headed to NYC soon. If he is, I would strongly suggest contacting him. He's probably already booked and I've never hired him, but his presence on the forum is great. I think he might be a good match. He's certainly a top tier professional in the forum. https://rent.men/KurtisWolfe

 

I also saw DinoLuca has a good review on the forum, so he's probably worth contacting too: https://rent.men/DinoLuca

 

Another is NYWolfmann. He was given a brief and very positive review on the forum: https://rent.men/NYWolfmann

 

Read the forum as you find escorts you're interested in. There are usually recommendations and warnings for many of them.

[+ Funguy]

@LivingnLA is absolutely right in his opening paragraph re: STI and vaccines.

SO MANY guys are unprotected re: vaccines, esp. HPV. Also about having the right doctor.

 

Good luck in your hunt. It is important to let them know this will be your first real experience. Make sure you pick someone who has been reviewed here so you will be able have some initial feeling re: who these guys are.

[+ Keith30309]

Mine more often end up not as good as expected because, as @LivingnLA said, my wants, dreams and wishes exceed a reasonable reality. With some companions I become emotionally pre-entangled and that's an impossible circumstance to overcome.

 

There have been a couple of occasions, however, when I had relatively low expectations and someone has knocked my socks off. I recall one traveling guy who had no history and my initial conversations with him were very off-putting in several ways.... for example, I recall he told me to bring extra money because some guys want to spend more time with him. I nearly cancelled the appointment at that massive red flag. It turned out he was brand new, awkward and uncertain of what to do. We had an absolutely wonderful time - I think he enjoyed it as much as I did - and we went way past the scheduled time. He's stopped escorting but we still exchange messages... he recently sent me some vacation photos.

 

These are the experiences that make everything worthwhile.

[Cure694u]

@LivingnLA You're an incredibly insightful person. Thank you for passing along so much advice.

 

Well, I'm not sure if this is strange or not but, I gave my first blow job with a condom on his cock. I just didn't feel comfortable going raw since I didn't know him (at all).

 

The day I go raw with someone, I'll need to know who he is (you know?). I'm also reading up on how "safe" oral sex is (I'm dying to feel a man's bare cock in my mouth but I really just want to play it safe) since I'm still having sex with my wife, yes (not as often but, yes, I am).

 

Huge thanks for the rent.men share!! Wow, very nice!! You were spot on. I'll need to really plan this out — that is, finding the time and planning the finances so that $300 isn't obviously "missing" — ugh, I hate it! But, I really like what I see on rent.men, incredible.

[BabyBoomer]

@Cure694u

 

Just an FYI, in case you didn't know [uSER=9945]@funguy[/uSER] is a Medical Doctor.

 

~ Boomer ~

[Cure694u]

@LivingnLA is absolutely right in his opening paragraph re: STI and vaccines.

SO MANY guys are unprotected re: vaccines, esp. HPV. Also about having the right doctor.

 

Good luck in your hunt. It is important to let them know this will be your first real experience. Make sure you pick someone who has been reviewed here so you will be able have some initial feeling re: who these guys are.

Thank you for this advice, [uSER=9945]@funguy[/uSER] . Loving this community more and more.