Post Appointment Escort Communication

[NYCgymfit]

Hey guys... just thought i'd "ask the experts" on their thoughts on this.

 

I hired an escort twice in NYC... one of my first escort experiences - last October. It was actually - pretty good, which is why I went back the second time. The guy was nice - shared a lot about his life... his family in South America and how he is trying to help them financially - which I felt was genuine. At the same time, a bit of a red flag went up.

 

Then he started texting me... sending pictures (hot pictures - but pictures)... and asking when he was going to see me again. And then began regular texting... telling me he missed me... and that he thought I would be a regular and that he wished I didn't travel so much... blah blah blah...

 

He recently sent another one telling me his feelings were hurt because I haven't been by to see him and that I am "making him feel stupid" for reaching out.

 

From my perspective, although I appreciate the humanity in the exchange between escort and client (in fact I value it) - I wondered how you guys handle the "relationship" with your clients... Do you actually reach out to them trying to schedule appointments? Or do you wait for them to contact you?

 

I feel in some ways it is a tacit agreement between escort and client that it is the client that should reach out? Thoughts on that?

 

And in terms of this escort, I think I'll just let it - fade away. This doesn't work for me at all. The texting and the assumption that I would be "his client" and that I was hurting his feelings - is way more complicated than I need this to be.

 

I wondered how you guys handle it. It's a tricky balancing act I would imagine.

[escortrod]

This guy is way overstepping the mark, IMO. With the exception of a couple of regular clients who I know well, I never proactively contact clients.

 

Frankly it sounds like he's trying to manipulate you into hiring him more. I'd tell him where to go.

[MscleLovr]

Yes it can be tricky. I've known, however, a few genuine and clever guys working as escorts who send "thank you" notes afterwards and express the hope to meet again. That to me is the classy way to behave.

 

I haven't known an escort to do exactly the same as this guy. But after a couple of dates, I have had a young (and very handsome) escort tell me he was in love with me and send me various emails hoping to be my live-in boyfriend. My response was to write him a nice email about what a lovely guy he was, but that I was not looking for a live-in arrangement nor a boyfriend.

 

If this escort doesn't excite you and you don't want to see him again, I think you could send him a text that you had a good time together but you're not able to meet up again, and wish him well for the future. If he doesn't take this very large 'hint', simply ignore any further communications.

[+ OliverSaks]

If I am traveling, I usually send out texts to people who I've met previously in the area. If they don't respond after a couple visits to the area, I generally delete them from my contacts.

[beachboy]

As a client, after a good time with an escort who I intend to book again, I send a thank you message for the great time I had & express my intention to see him again. This opens the way for him to let me know when he's next in town if he wishes to accept a further booking & that further communication is welcomed. The guy you saw is embarking down the route of emotional blackmail & that is intolerable & shows no respect for you. A decent escort would never do that. Best advice? Block him & cease all further communication.

[+ poolboy48220]

One of my favorite travelling guys does me the favor of reaching out to me when he's going to be in town, before he puts his ad up in Michigan. That's something I really appreciate.

 

Another recent favorite stays in touch but without any pressure to meet up again - and I do plan to see him again as soon as I can manage it.

 

I've had other escorts contact me specifically about meeting up again & generally I'm in favor of it, unless it becomes excessive.

[+ oldNbusted]

I wonder if it's a cultural difference, maybe he thinks it's cute. But I think I would find something beyond an openness to meet again a turn off.

[pubic_assistance]

Clearly this young man is "reaching out" as a business decision, not a personal. Every escort would rather have a list of regular customers who treated them well, than to constantly be meeting strangers. Always at risk of meeting that one super annoying crazy guy, who makes you question your choice to work with the public. Just take it as a compliment, that you're "one of the good ones", and don't let his attempt at guilt trip marketing get to you. If you want to see him again, then just respond with some potential upcoming dates. If you don't want to see him again, then just explain you are no longer available to meet.

[nynakedtop]

i always appreciate(d) escorts/masseurs who contacted me "after the fact" - it shows that they take an interest in their work, shows some ambition, and helps me realize that i may not be a totally reprehensible person!

 

BUT - there is an (excessively) well reviewed escort on this site (recently discussed) who errs on the side of excess - i get text messages, emails, email updates, and so on - all a bit verbose, all quite unwelcome since i did not enjoy my time with him in the first place.

 

sometimes, less is more.

[pubic_assistance]

helps me realize that i may not be a totally reprehensible person

Just maybe...but not likely ( j.k.)

[+ pitman]

What do people think of this type of a request to an escort: Contact me when you haven't cum in awhile and would like to have an expert cocksucker relieve you of that big load building up in your balls, or Contact me when you are REALLY RIPE and I will be there to sniff/worship your smelly pits/crotch.

[pubic_assistance]

What do people think of this type of a request to an escort

Sounds like he's got a specific turn on, that's pretty common with subs. He wants to pay to have someone act it out. Simple.

[MartyB]

I have no issue with an escort who travels here on minimal occasions a year who I have seen and had a great time with who always text to let me know they are coming to town. Locally i'm always respectful to escorts who reach out to me who I've moved on from. I've only had one or two situations which became uncomfortable but it eventually resolved itself.

[big-n-tall]

To the op, depending on who contacts me I don't mind frequent contact. However, if it's from someone I haven't gotten to know, I only met once, or I haven't met at all... then we have a problem.

What do people think of this type of a request to an escort: Contact me when you haven't cum in awhile and would like to have an expert cocksucker relieve you of that big load building up in your balls, or Contact me when you are REALLY RIPE and I will be there to sniff/worship your smelly pits/crotch.

 

Depending on the type of request and who makes the request, I don't mind special requests. Hmmm... sounds familiar.

 

I have made the request to one guy, that when we do an overnight, I be the first person he sees when he comes to town. I would pick him from the airport almost every time. On the other hand, I have had a few working guys ask me to hold off from cumming as long as possible before I meet them. In all cases it's been with guys I know rather well.

[TruHart1]

Hey guys... just thought i'd "ask the experts" on their thoughts on this.

 

I hired an escort twice in NYC... one of my first escort experiences - last October. It was actually - pretty good, which is why I went back the second time. The guy was nice - shared a lot about his life... his family in South America and how he is trying to help them financially - which I felt was genuine. At the same time, a bit of a red flag went up.

 

Then he started texting me... sending pictures (hot pictures - but pictures)... and asking when he was going to see me again. And then began regular texting... telling me he missed me... and that he thought I would be a regular and that he wished I didn't travel so much... blah blah blah...

 

He recently sent another one telling me his feelings were hurt because I haven't been by to see him and that I am "making him feel stupid" for reaching out.

 

From my perspective, although I appreciate the humanity in the exchange between escort and client (in fact I value it) - I wondered how you guys handle the "relationship" with your clients... Do you actually reach out to them trying to schedule appointments? Or do you wait for them to contact you?

 

I feel in some ways it is a tacit agreement between escort and client that it is the client that should reach out? Thoughts on that?

 

And in terms of this escort, I think I'll just let it - fade away. This doesn't work for me at all. The texting and the assumption that I would be "his client" and that I was hurting his feelings - is way more complicated than I need this to be.

 

I wondered how you guys handle it. It's a tricky balancing act I would imagine.

I have been lucky to have never been"harassed" like this by any of the escorts I've hired. This escort sounds very immature!

 

When I hire a new escort the first time, if our experience is excellent and I know I'd love to see him again next time he visits my city, I tell him that I really enjoyed our time and request that he text or email me if he returns to the area. Over the years, some of my favorites always text me when they plan a trip to my city. There are even two or three wonderful men who contact me when they are in the process of deciding their travel itineraries before they even book airfare or a hotel to make sure I will be available and eager to hire them.

 

All of these guys are on my list of regular top hires, so unless I'm travelling, I am always happy to set up an appointment or two with them. These few escorts are pretty special to me, though, and often make me feel as if they are visiting my area because they have a desire to see me! :)

 

TruHart1

[+ nycman]

Run.

 

He's either:

 

A) a wacko

B) trying to manipulate you

C) co-dependent

D) despirate

E) all of the above

 

It situations where I question an escorts behavior towards me I simply

ask myself, "how would I feel if my dentist behaved this way". It tends

to make everything much clearer in my head.

[+ Keith30309]

I suppose I'm lucky - I've never encountered this situation with professionals (unlike a couple of guys I've met via SeekingArrangement)

 

It did make me curious about communication in general.

I went back thru the text messages of the last 40 guys I'd met and, of the 40:

- 2 send me a post-meeting thank you text

- 32 responded to post-meeting thank-you-for-your-time message I sent (within 24 hours)

- 14 send me texts weeks/months later about potential future visits

- 0 of 5 send me a thank-you's on non-cash gifts I left for them

- 1 gave me a gift on a second visit

[jawjateck]

He's a hustler. It's happened to me a couple of times. In those cases, I did not respond and blocked the number from contacting me.

[+ Eric Hassan]

What do people think of this type of a request to an escort: Contact me when you haven't cum in awhile and would like to have an expert cocksucker relieve you of that big load building up in your balls, or Contact me when you are REALLY RIPE and I will be there to sniff/worship your smelly pits/crotch.

 

I would LOVE those kinds of requests!

 

To the OP - if the communication makes you uncomfortable, it's worth saying something. The "norm" isn't important but your comfort is important. This guy is looking to be hired again and trying to nudge you in that direction.

[+ Just Sayin]

I am not always able to text with a masseur or escort; email is actually a better way to contact me simply because my email is private; I've had one provider send me texts about scheduling another appointment, and I've had to request that he delete my number from future mass texts; I hate to say this, but "Don't call me, I'll call you" is really a best practice for many of us who require discretion.

[Mydavid]

I never received any initiative calls or texts from escorts. They just replied to my texts.

[+ WmClarke]

This guy is looking to be hired again and trying to nudge you in that direction.

Nudge? It moved from nudge, to shove, to full out bull rush!

[+ tylerthebadwolf]

Hey guys... just thought i'd "ask the experts" on their thoughts on this.

 

I hired an escort twice in NYC... one of my first escort experiences - last October. It was actually - pretty good, which is why I went back the second time. The guy was nice - shared a lot about his life... his family in South America and how he is trying to help them financially - which I felt was genuine. At the same time, a bit of a red flag went up.

 

Then he started texting me... sending pictures (hot pictures - but pictures)... and asking when he was going to see me again. And then began regular texting... telling me he missed me... and that he thought I would be a regular and that he wished I didn't travel so much... blah blah blah...

 

He recently sent another one telling me his feelings were hurt because I haven't been by to see him and that I am "making him feel stupid" for reaching out.

 

From my perspective, although I appreciate the humanity in the exchange between escort and client (in fact I value it) - I wondered how you guys handle the "relationship" with your clients... Do you actually reach out to them trying to schedule appointments? Or do you wait for them to contact you?

 

I feel in some ways it is a tacit agreement between escort and client that it is the client that should reach out? Thoughts on that?

 

And in terms of this escort, I think I'll just let it - fade away. This doesn't work for me at all. The texting and the assumption that I would be "his client" and that I was hurting his feelings - is way more complicated than I need this to be.

 

I wondered how you guys handle it. It's a tricky balancing act I would imagine.

 

It seems like you've gotten a lot of responses to this, and they run the gamut from "that's fine," to "block him."

 

For whatever it is worth, I make a point (and am very clear about this on my site), never to initiate contact. That, to my mind, is bad form on the part of an escort. One never knows who could be looking at your email over your shoulder, or holding your phone when they text you. If you haven't contacted me first, and are awaiting my reply, I will not text or call you.

 

Just out of respect and discretion.

 

That said, I'm always glad to hear from past clients (even casually) and I keep a mailing list just so that I can stay in touch with people I've enjoyed time with previously.

 

As far as what you should do with this guy? I wouldn't contact him or see him again. What you've described feels... off. Somehow. Trust your gut.

 

-t

[LookingAround]

Marketing. Delete.

[NYCgymfit]

Thanks guys for the advice... This forum is terrific... I went back over the texts - particularly the last one about how hurt he is - and I think I'm going to text back and say "Hey ________, I appreciate your feelings but I don't think we are looking for the same things as client/escort. Wish you the best."

 

He is a nice guy. But at the end of the day, his "marketing strategy" - doesn't feel genuine - and sort of reeks of manipulation. That being said - I get it... and maybe for some clients it makes them feel special.

 

It makes me feel stalked LOL.

 

Anyway, thanks for chiming in. I'm trying to navigate the escort/client space with as much humanity (and horny awesome sex) as possible.