Who do you tell that you're an escort?

[+ OliverSaks]

just curious, especially to all of the seasoned escorts on the board:

 

Who knows that you escort?

 

Friends?

Family?

 

If you don't tell these people, what do they think it is that you do?

 

"Consultant?"

 

One family member knows (which I wish I could take that back, at least how it happened)

Many of my close friends know

Yinz here

[+ poolboy48220]

and a corollary question, for clients - who knows that you hire? Apart from the guys you hire, obviously. Offhand, I can only think of one person, a friend I met at the dancer boy bar; we've traded notes on local talent, although our tastes are very different. I know a couple, both old friends of mine, who might know, and one of them has said he's both paid for and been paid for sex in the past; so I'm sure there's no judgement there. Apart from that - I have friends who I met when I hired them and the friendship continued after they retired.

[+ Lance_Navarro]

Everyone! Well, everyone except for my dad, however I plan to tell him after I get my training to be a Sex Surrogate. I believe that honesty is the only way to educate and illuminate. As the saying goes, those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. My mom is so incredibly supportive that she once told me that I could see clients at her home if I didn't want to get a hotel. I appreciatively declined.

[+ poolboy48220]

My mom is so incredibly supportive that she once told me that I could see clients at her home if I didn't want to get a hotel. I appreciatively declined.

I'm picturing a meeting in bunk beds in the house you grew up in... cowboy wallpaper, GI Joes on the floor...

[+ OliverSaks]

Mentioning sexual surrogates, and just generally awesome:

 

@Lance_Navarro I'm curious how you reconcile the dissonance of "Everyone!" but exclude your father on the condition of you finishing the training. Will you tell him you are an escort or just say you are a sexual surrogate?

[escortrod]

My husband and close friends know, but that's about it. It would upset my family, and I already keep them at arm's length, so telling them would be of no benefit.

[+ Lance_Navarro]

Mentioning sexual surrogates, and just generally awesome:

 

@Lance_Navarro I'm curious how you reconcile the dissonance of "Everyone!" but exclude your father on the condition of you finishing the training. Will you tell him you are an escort or just say you are a sexual surrogate?

 

He knows that I'm a massage therapist and that I've go-go danced, so it's not that much of a stretch. I just don't know how to bring it up in conversation, but the training will give me something to talk about and also demonstrate how professionally and seriously I take my work.

[Mydavid]

My husband and close friends know, but that's about it. It would upset my family, and I already keep them at arm's length, so telling them would be of no benefit.

Your husband is okay with that?

[escortrod]

Your husband is okay with that?

Completely. We have an open relationship anyway.

[Mydavid]

Completely. We have an open relationship anyway.

That's good!

 

I always think escorts are so energetic. I guess a lot almost work every day, and some of them have bfs or husbands to take care of. I wonder how they can have so much stamina. I believe I will die of such a work after one month.

[+ Eric Hassan]

Nearly everyone in my life knows. I told my family because I wanted to make sure they heard from me before they heard from someone else. My mother doesn't need a whole lot of details. My brother and I are very close and we talk about a lot of personal things, so he gets a lot of details. My friends know because they're my friends and I love and trust them. They wouldn't be my friends if I couldn't be upfront about my life with them. My partner knows and loves that this is the work I do. I was already doing porn and escorting when we met, so he knew everything before we chose to be in a relationship.

 

Like @Lance_Navarro, I'm working towards becoming a sex surrogate. As an Occupational Therapist, my job is to help people sort out what's important to them and learn or develop skills and adaptations to live the life they want to live. I see sex surrogacy as OT for the sex life; it feels very consistent with who I am and a natural "next step" for me in this career. My friends and family are very supportive and I feel happy that I get to share this process with them.

[Meo]

I'm working towards becoming a sex surrogate. As an Occupational Therapist, my job is to help people sort out what's important to them and learn or develop skills and adaptations to live the life they want to live. I see sex surrogacy as OT for the sex life; it feels very consistent with who I am and a natural "next step" for me in this career. My friends and family are very supportive and I feel happy that I get to share this process with them.

 

Very interesting. My first thought when I saw The Sessions was whether or not there were same-sex versions of this.

[Meo]

I forgot to add, my massage therapist is studying now to become an OT and it definitely seems like a natural next step for him too.

[Meo]

My roommate knows so he is always wanting to get a special discount from me

 

I have to lock my door at night as I sleep naked, I don't want to wake up in the middle of the night with my boyhole swallowing something big inside

LOL I had a roommate ages ago who looked a lot like you and I must admit things occasionally got frisky at night!

[+ Lance_Navarro]

Very interesting. My first thought when I saw The Sessions was whether or not there were same-sex versions of this.

 

I became friends this year with Cheryl Cohen Greene, the woman that Helen Hunt is playing in The Sessions. She has been very helpful in advising and mentoring me in my journey. I just had my interview with IPSA (International Professional Surrogate Association) and am just waiting to hear when the next training will be scheduled, likely in June. The woman that interviewed me told me that unfortunately there aren't very many gay male surrogates. There were a lot more in the late 70's and 80's, but many were lost to AIDS. At the moment there is only one in all of Northern California, so I'm excited at the opportunity. I wish that @Eric Hassan could be my partner in training!

[+ nycman]

I'm picturing a meeting in bunk beds in the house you grew up in... cowboy wallpaper, GI Joes on the floor...

 

I'd pay extra for that scene!

 

Went to see an "interactive/immersive" play in Brooklyn a few months ago. Ended up in a room made up like a 1970's kids bedroom...with Star Wars sheets on the bed,

Farrah Fawcett posters on the wall, and the Carpenters playing on an old vinyl record player. Just me and a hunky male actor. After an intense pillow fight, we ended

up on the bed with the hunky adult actor butt naked cuddled up next to me.....after a few minutes I had to warn him he was about to get raped......

 

His response?....."You can't rape the willing"

 

Good clean dirty fun!

[escortrod]

I'd pay extra for that scene!

 

Went to see an "interactive/immersive" play in Brooklyn a few months ago. Ended up in a room made up like a 1970's kids bedroom...with Star Wars sheets on the bed,

Farrah Fawcett posters on the wall, and the Carpenters playing on an old vinyl record player. Just me and a hunky male actor. After an intense pillow fight we ended

up on the bed with the hunky adult actor butt naked cuddled up next to me.....after a few minutes I had to warn him he was about to get raped......

 

His response?....."You can't rape the willing"

 

Good clean dirty fun!

Is this still running?

[+ nycman]

Is this still running?

 

Unfortunately it looks like it closed at the end of last year.....http://thegrandparadise.com/

[+ purplekow]

Unfortunately it looks like it closed at the end of last year.....http://thegrandparadise.com/

I had seen an ad for that and by the time I realized it was there, it was gone.

[+ bashful]

and a corollary question, for clients - who knows that you hire?

 

Nobody.

[Juan Vancouver]

Friends and family. They all know.

 

Escorting is a big part of my life, a big part of my professional satisfaction comes from it and also a chunk of my income. This is an important part of who I am, and I would never want to hide who I am from my family and friends.

 

I absolutely believe that we are only as weak as our secrets.

 

If I do something and feel so ashamed about it that I can't tell the people who love me and who I love, I would carefully consider whether it is good for me to continue doing that thing. Life is ridiculously precious to waste a single minute living in shame.

 

Now, if any of them have issues with what I share with them, I am perfectly respectful about that, and with mutual love I am more than willing to work through it. So far this has never been the case. Where there is love and pride and passion, there is only love and pride and passion.

[LADoug1]

and a corollary question, for clients - who knows that you hire? Apart from the guys you hire, obviously. Offhand, I can only think of one person, a friend I met at the dancer boy bar; we've traded notes on local talent, although our tastes are very different. I know a couple, both old friends of mine, who might know, and one of them has said he's both paid for and been paid for sex in the past; so I'm sure there's no judgement there. Apart from that - I have friends who I met when I hired them and the friendship continued after they retired.

 

 

My friends know I have hired. My family does not but they do know I have a guy I see only for sex.

[LookingAround]

Everyone! Well, everyone except for my dad, however I plan to tell him after I get my training to be a Sex Surrogate. I believe that honesty is the only way to educate and illuminate. As the saying goes, those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. My mom is so incredibly supportive that she once told me that I could see clients at her home if I didn't want to get a hotel. I appreciatively declined.

 

How does one get training to be a sex surrogate and how do clients find trained surrogates?

[+ Eric Hassan]

I became friends this year with Cheryl Cohen Greene, the woman that Helen Hunt is playing in The Sessions. She has been very helpful in advising and mentoring me in my journey. I just had my interview with IPSA (International Professional Surrogate Association) and am just waiting to hear when the next training will be scheduled, likely in June. The woman that interviewed me told me that unfortunately there aren't very many gay male surrogates. There were a lot more in the late 70's and 80's, but many were lost to AIDS. At the moment there is only one in all of Northern California, so I'm excited at the opportunity. I wish that @Eric Hassan could be my partner in training!

 

I wish that too! We'll just have to discuss when I'm there.

[+ Lance_Navarro]

How does one get training to be a sex surrogate and how do clients find trained surrogates?

Here's the website for IPSA. They are the most prominent organization. A Sex-therapist or psychiatrist refers their client to a surrogate and the surrogate and therapist work together by communicating after sessions to discuss progress and strategize the therapy.