Who do you tell that you're an escort?

[LookingAround]

Here's the website for IPSA. They are the most prominent organization. A Sex-therapist or psychiatrist refers their client to a surrogate and the surrogate and therapist work together by communicating after sessions to discuss progress and strategize the therapy.

 

Neat

[BaronArtz]

An escort introduced me to his mother once. She was extremely upset about him escorting, I thought he had told his mother ahead of time that she would meet me, his client, but he didn't, my arrival was a total surprise to her. It was extremely awkward for both of us during the first half hour, but then she got to like me. I invited her for lunch several times thereafter. We ended up being friends.

 

He told me afterwards that he did it because he wanted to show his mom that at times he meets 'nice guys'.

 

I am glad it sort of worked out. You don't want to upset a Puerto Rican mother ...

[Rod Hagen]

Who've I told? Almost no-one. Who do I wish I could tell? EVERYONE! But I can't.

[+ quoththeraven]

Other than people here, only one person knows, and I just told him yesterday for reasons having nothing to do with this thread.

[Kevin Slater]

Everybody except for my mortgage broker who, for simplicity's sake, believes I'm a consultant.

 

Kevin Slater

[Larstrup]

Other than people here, only one person knows, and I just told him yesterday for reasons having nothing to do with this thread.

You're an escort? I did not realize that. Hope you charge by the brain cell.

[+ quoththeraven]

You're an escort? I did not realize that. Hope you charge by the brain cell.

 

Perhaps I should have added "that I hire," but since other clients had answered, I wasn't thinking about it that critically.

 

Good catch, though!

[BasketBaller]

and a corollary question, for clients - who knows that you hire? Apart from the guys you hire, obviously.

Nobody. Nobody in my life even knows I've had sex with men. I'm not ashamed of either thing but for now it's been too complicated to deal with, and no one's needed to know.

[+ WhamIAm]

and a corollary question, for clients - who knows that you hire?

 

My two best friends -- married to each other and in an open relationship -- they started wondering why I didn't crash in their guest room anymore when I was in NYC. Just kinda blurted it out. They told me I could still use the guest room if I wanted. Just a little too awkward, thank you.

 

My sister -- she was going on about how happy I'd seemed lately on my last few visits. She lives on Long Island, so was getting me in the afterglow of a night or two with guys I saw in the city. Told her, she laughed and said "It's about time you started getting laid again."

 

My doc and my shrink.

 

My high school German teacher -- she helped me out a bunch during some rough high school years and we've stayed close. She's always had a travel bug so, after she retired, she started organizing incredible 3- ot 4- week journeys to various places. After one of these trips, a few of us, including her, decided to extend for an additional week to visit another city in eastern Asia. I invited a guy I see regularly to join us. He was the youngest of the group by about 20 years (still, late 20's, not robbing the cradle). We spent some time with the group, but mostly explored on our own. After the trip, took her to lunch. Teacher: "Just curious -- is [insert name here] a working boy." Me: "Um, yes." Teacher: "Well, he's a very nice young man. I'm glad you brought him along."

 

The managing partner of my law firm (probably) -- I represented a guy I saw regularly in a spot of trouble relevant to his business. Had to explain what he did for a living as part of due diligence, though not that I was a client. Managing partner signed off on taking the matter. He's a cool guy, but I just couldn't help thinking he was giving me a little side-eye the next few times we met up.

 

Um, should I keep my mouth shut more? (Actually, I've thought about that, and figured out that I've reached an age where really don't give a crap what other people think!)

[Bearofdistinction]

Who've I told? Almost no-one. Who do I wish I could tell? EVERYONE! But I can't.

 

 

I told everyone == But no one believed me --- Seems Escorts Market by the Inch and I was offering by the Pound!!

[LADoug1]

Who've I told? Almost no-one. Who do I wish I could tell? EVERYONE! But I can't.

You and I have met several times and I closely follow your posts here. You seem comfortable and happy. Considering your tenure and prominence in the escort scene it intrigues me how you've managed to stay under the radar so to speak. I wish you were able to tell others since you're so good at what you do. I truly hope you've managed to reconcile this and are as content as you seem.

[Rod Hagen]

You and I have met several times and I closely follow your posts here. You seem comfortable and happy. Considering your tenure and prominence in the escort scene it intrigues me how you've managed to stay under the radar so to speak. I wish you were able to tell others since you're so good at what you do. I truly hope you've managed to reconcile this and are as content as you seem.

That's very sweet Doug. Thank you. I really appreciate that. And you're right, I think it would be great if I could tell a lot more people about this. I simply can't, family would not understand.

[Courage]

and a corollary question, for clients - who knows that you hire? Apart from the guys you hire, obviously.

 

Aside from people on this board ?

 

My shrink and 5+/- close friends who concern themselves with my wellbeing. Most of them, who are familiar with my shyness about sex, were happy for me.

[+ g56whiz]

Everybody except for my mortgage broker who, for simplicity's sake, believes I'm a consultant.

 

Kevin Slater

 

I saw an escort years ago who, if I'm not mistaken, began his professional career as a mortgage broker before he migrated to a more lucrative endeavor.

[Courage]

I saw an escort years ago who, if I'm not mistaken, began his professional career as a mortgage broker before he migrated to a more lucrative endeavor.

 

More lucrative and more honest :-D

[Spencer L]

My concern is why you have to broadcast? I do this quite discreetly, was it wrong?

[+ saminseattle]

My concern is why you have to broadcast? I do this quite discreetly, was it wrong?

 

I would reframe this question as “why should you have to hide” what you do for work when there is nothing wrong with it? The answer of course is that many people do think there is something wrong with it, and those people may have the ability to make life difficult for those whose actions they disapprove of, at least in some situations.

 

“Coming out” as an escort or client is perhaps not unlike coming out as gay a few generations ago. Most people thought there was something wrong with being gay, to the extent that it was actually a crime, so many gay people attempted to be “discrete” to avoid the stigma and discrimination. This was a perfectly rational approach, but the inability to be open and honest also took a psychological toll on people. As more and more had enough of the hiding and had the courage to come out, straight people were confronted with family, friends, and neighbors who did not fit their pre-conceived stereotypes. Prejudices faded, attitudes changed, and now people now risk far less by being opening gay. Hopefully, we will see a similar pattern around escorting in the future. Still, that seems to be a long way off today, so if you’ve got something to lose by being open (a “respectable” job, a close family relationship, or a valued friendship with someone who might not understand), I would think long and hard before taking that step.

[Spencer L]

I would reframe this question as “why should you have to hide” what you do for work when there is nothing wrong with it? The answer of course is that many people do think there is something wrong with it, and those people may have the ability to make life difficult for those whose actions they disapprove of, at least in some situations.

 

“Coming out” as an escort or client is perhaps not unlike coming out as gay a few generations ago. Most people thought there was something wrong with being gay, to the extent that it was actually a crime, so many gay people attempted to be “discrete” to avoid the stigma and discrimination. This was a perfectly rational approach, but the inability to be open and honest also took a psychological toll on people. As more and more had enough of the hiding and had the courage to come out, straight people were confronted with family, friends, and neighbors who did not fit their pre-conceived stereotypes. Prejudices faded, attitudes changed, and now people now risk far less by being opening gay. Hopefully, we will see a similar pattern around escorting in the future. Still, that seems to be a long way off today, so if you’ve got something to lose by being open (a “respectable” job, a close family relationship, or a valued friendship with someone who might not understand), I would think long and hard before taking that step.

 

Thanks, I do this on the side to help a bit on school and such, so I guess it's hard for me to come out and yes "to avoid the stigma and discrimination". I do want to live freely but the pursuit takes a lot of courage.

[Chuckball]

As client of escorts I want them to know how much I appreciate what they do. Everyone I have encountered to date has been a great guy. Obviously not every one has the looks and body of an Eric Hassan or Zane Rivers but without exception each has treated me well. So I was somewhat taken aback that any escort would be shamed for what he does. Then I look in the mirror and ask myself how many people know I use escorts? If I am not willing to be open and honest with the world, why should I expect any less discretion from an escort to his family and friends. Let's all do what makes us most comfortable.

[Spencer L]

As client of escorts I want them to know how much I appreciate what they do. Everyone I have encountered to date has been a great guy. Obviously not every one has the looks and body of an Eric Hassan or Zane Rivers but without exception each has treated me well. So I was somewhat taken aback that any escort would be shamed for what he does. Then I look in the mirror and ask myself how many people know I use escorts? If I am not willing to be open and honest with the world, why should I expect any less discretion from an escort to his family and friends. Let's all do what makes us most comfortable.

yep, indeed

[Ajac]

I just tell people I am "B-U-Y sexual_Let them make of that what they will. Really if you are comfortable and happy with what you do sexually f**ck everyone else.

[Ajac]

extra asterisk oops

[+ OliverSaks]

As many of us know, being in the closet as gay men for any length of time can be emotionally taxing. I don't believe that being in the closet about being an escort is healthy either, and it is obviously a more stigmatized identity.

[Ajac]

I assume a lot of people assume I am closeted (over a certain age and single) it is only recently I have felt like hell I am not in the closet why is it your business what I get up too. If it is that important to them they should just ask me I will tell them about every pussy, cock and asshole that has crossed my lips. As far as an escort revealing what he does it is an even bigger deal. Unfortunately judgements will always be made. People have preconceived notions based on movies tv etc. In my mind the oldest profession can be one of the noblest as long as no one is being forced into it against there will.

Life is complicated just try to be happy and hopefully people that truly matter will always be supportive no matter what you do for a living.

[+ nycman]

I tell everyone....but no one believes me!

 

Grin