Your favorite escort asks to meet your family

[wisconsinguy]

The escort that I see, and the only one I see, said he would like to meet my former wife. "She sounds like a terrific person," which she is. I have absolutely no problem with my escort/best friend. My friend has met one of my children, but it was dinner before a performance that I was unaware she would be attending. I believe at this point my immediate family knows of my "other life." I came out to my youngest son because he asked if I were gay. Sooo, thoughts on planning a summer picnic vs just letting the request slide? This is not about him. It's about me REALLY coming out.

[Zapped]

What makes for healthy boundaries? Only you know for you, but generally it works to keep professional relationships sepearate from personal ones. Would you introduce your accountant, lawyer, masseur, or therapist to your family? If so, under what circumstances?

 

Coming out as gay is different than introducing your regular escort to your family.

[+ WmClarke]

How would you introduce him to your family? As a friend? A boy friend? A hook up of the day? Your escort date?

[pubic_assistance]

Once again...do I need to remind people that escorts are people too. Geez. If you have a nice relationship with an escort, they are your FRIEND, like any other friend. You don't need to discuss what you guys do in private.

[+ azdr0710]

would your former wife even have any interest in meeting him?.....do you still occasionally hang out with her and talk?......is she (and the family) tolerant and easy-going about it all?.....do you think this will help advance your coming-out process?.......

 

just throwing out thoughts......doesn't seem like a bad idea to meet......to her/them, he can just be a person you met who has helped you though it all (true, technically!)......

[wisconsinguy]

would your former wife even have any interest in meeting him?.....do you still occasionally hang out with her and talk?......is she (and the family) tolerant and easy-going about it all?.....do you think this will help advance your coming-out process?.......

 

just throwing out thoughts......doesn't seem like a bad idea to meet......to her/them, he can just be a person you met who has helped you though it all (true, technically!)......

My former wife and children, I have five adult children would be happy to meet someone that I hold in such high regard, and has brought me a sense of peace and joy. Both my former and all of my children are very accepting of the people and world around them. They and myself share the philosophy of, "live and let live unless it hurts someone." Regarding introducing him. He is well known in his community. It is unusual if we are at an event to run into someone he knows. He introduces me as his friend. I would do the same.

[big-n-tall]

Not my favorite escort, but someone I meet webcamming... I've met his mom, dad, girlfriend, and his girlfriend's mom. He has met my mom and my aunt.

 

One retired escort I see, I've met some of his closest friends.

 

Another guy almost met my friends at a Game of Thrones party. We didn't go because my escort friend wasn't caught up with the show.

 

With some of the guys I've become close with, if they wanted to meet my family and friends, I wouldn't have a problem with it.

[TruHart1]

The escort that I see, and the only one I see, said he would like to meet my former wife. "She sounds like a terrific person," which she is. I have absolutely no problem with my escort/best friend. My friend has met one of my children, but it was dinner before a performance that I was unaware she would be attending. I believe at this point my immediate family knows of my "other life." I came out to my youngest son because he asked if I were gay. Sooo, thoughts on planning a summer picnic vs just letting the request slide? This is not about him. It's about me REALLY coming out.

@wisconsinguy: One thing about your escort/friend I know as absolute fact. If you decide to have him meet any or all of your family, one on one or at a big family gathering, he will be able to fit right in. He is always such a natural in any situation! As for your comfort level at coming out "all the way" with him as your company, I can only see it (in this particular case) as a win/win for you, WG2!!!

 

TruHart1

[LookingAround]

Once again...do I need to remind people that escorts are people too. Geez. If you have a nice relationship with an escort, they are your FRIEND, like any other friend. You don't need to discuss what you guys do in private.

 

Respectfully I have a different view. They are your PAID friend not merely your friend. I'm a doctor and I'm a person too. I'm nice to my patients but that doesn't mean we r friends. An escort is your paid friend who has sex with you for pay. Big difference than a friend.

[Epigonos]

Wisconsinguy NO one on this board can really answer this question for you. We can only give you opinions based upon are own experiences. Only you know your situation and what will and what will not work for you. I don't agree with some around here who believe that paid escorts can't be friends. I believe that escorts and clients can and do develop "on the clock" and "off the clock" relationships. If YOU think introducing this guy to your former wife and children, in whatever way you want, would be of benefit, then go for it.

[+ Funguy]

Respectfully I have a different view. They are your PAID friend not merely your friend. I'm a doctor and I'm a person too. I'm nice to my patients but that doesn't mean we r friends. An escort is your paid friend who has sex with you for pay. Big difference than a friend.

 

This gentleman is really a gentleman. I know him and the situation, and in this, @LookingAround, I think you may be mistaken. Yes, he is an escort. But, above all, he is a wonderful man and @WG2 is also a very lucky man!

[LookingAround]

Then shouldn't they see each other without having to pay a fee?

[TruHart1]

This gentleman is really a gentleman. I know him and the situation, and in this, @LookingAround, I think you may be mistaken. Yes, he is an escort. But, above all, he is a wonderful man and @WG2 is also a very lucky man!

+1 I could not have stated it better, [uSER=9945]@funguy[/uSER]! After creating this escort's humanity, they broke the mold!

 

TruHart1

[+ Funguy]

I don't know what their exact arrangement is and i've never asked. I do know that the escort is a great person, well-respected and has cared deeply for WG2 and vice versa. They have been through a lot together.

[TruHart1]

Then shouldn't they see each other without having to pay a fee?

That is a factor in this relationship between @wisconsinguy and his friend/escort which is NOT our business here!

I don't know what their exact arrangement is and i've never asked. I do know that the escort is a great person, well-respected and has cared deeply for WG2 and vice versa. They have been through a lot together.

Every interaction between two human beings is unique and only the two of them understand the particular dynamics interactive in this relationship!!! All that matters is that this unique relationship works!

 

TruHart1

[MikeyGMin]

Respectfully I have a different view. They are your PAID friend not merely your friend. I'm a doctor and I'm a person too. I'm nice to my patients but that doesn't mean we r friends. An escort is your paid friend who has sex with you for pay. Big difference than a friend.

In most cases -- yes -- but it is possible to navigate a personal and business relationship. I'm in a situation like that myself right now. We met professionally but have become friends. We hang out quite a bit with no sex and no compensation. He's met and hung out with most of my friends. I do think he's very sexy or I never would have hired him in the first place, so every once in a while, I ask him if he'd like to do some business. It's a bit unusual, but it's working fine for us.

[+ glennnn]

Respectfully I have a different view. They are your PAID friend not merely your friend. I'm a doctor and I'm a person too. I'm nice to my patients but that doesn't mean we r friends. An escort is your paid friend who has sex with you for pay. Big difference than a friend.

 

I respectfully disagree. Not that you HAVE to be, but if you are my doctor, can you not perhaps still be my friend? If you are my friend, can you not be my doctor? If you are my escort, can you not be my friend. If you are my friend, can you not be my escort?

[+ glennnn]

Look over your shoulder, @wisconsinguy ! I'm walking one or two steps behind you. My wife knows I am gay; i'm still married; my child and closest friends know, too; but the actual sex part of being gay lurks like the infamous pachyderm in the pantry. I sneak around and wait patiently for the Palm springs weekend. I want life AND wife, but it is hard as you well know. I love my spouse of 45 years, but I crave cock.

 

I have no advice, without some serious discussion, except follow your heart. It's okay to think of yourself. You have my love and support. Please PM me if you wish to talk further

[+ glennnn]

I respectfully disagree. Not that you HAVE to be, but if you are my doctor, can you not perhaps still be my friend? If you are my friend, can you not be my doctor? If you are my escort, can you not be my friend. If you are my friend, can you not be my escort?

 

Hey [uSER=9945]@funguy[/uSER]! This is us, except we don't pay each other.....With cash! I talk about you all the time, and believe you would fit in easily with my family and friends. Hugs!

[+ Funguy]

I think we have gone waaaay beyond what the OP has asked and we should stick to that issue.

 

And, BTW, WG2, go for it! You have been to Hell and back and the more shackles you break the freer you will be. And our friend is just the right person for this! You are one lucky guy!

[LADoug1]

How is it possible for all parties involved to feel a genuine connection if the escort can't say what he does if asked about his work? I know I must be in the minority and naive, but if you think everyone would have a good time together then I think the escort has every right to say what he does and be proud of it. If you think your family would find his work objectionable then they shouldn't meet. Escorts are people too and shouldn't have to hide what they do.

[+ Eric Hassan]

Look over your shoulder, @wisconsinguy ! I'm walking one or two steps behind you. My wife knows I am gay; i'm still married; my child and closest friends know, too; but the actual sex part of being gay lurks like the infamous pachyderm in the pantry. I sneak around and wait patiently for the Palm springs weekend. I want life AND wife, but it is hard as you well know. I love my spouse of 45 years, but I crave cock.

 

I have no advice, without some serious discussion, except follow your heart. It's okay to think of yourself. You have my love and support. Please PM me if you wish to talk further

 

Wow. Beautiful response @glennnn !!

 

You can navigate any situation you would like to realize. You get to call the shots. The thing I think you need to keep an eye on is clear communication and consent. I think it's important to be upfront about what's what with everyone and make sure they all consent to your plan. As long as you are upfront, address any concerns, and proceed accordingly, you'll be fine - even if there are discomforts or problems, you've at least created a collaborative environment where things can be openly discussed.

[mike carey]

The escort may hava a job outside escorting, it so no problem. Otherwise he could say he is a personal trainer. Of course, in some settings 'escort' may work.

[BasketBaller]

This is, naturally, an interesting question to me. I've played a scene in my mind of coming out to my sons hundreds of times, and I'm fairly certain it will be okay. But the fact I've been hiring for some time now is something I'm not sure how to handle, or if I should at all. Like @glennnn said, I'm confident they'll accept the sexuality but not sure about the sex!

 

And the prospect of introducing someone to them, whether an escort friend or someone I've met and become involved with? I guess I'll find out when and if it happens. It makes my head swim to think that I'm even contemplating such a thing after so many years.

[mike carey]

@BasketBaller, I'm sure it will all work out. You may, if it makes it easier, be able to omit the 'payment' part of a relationship, at least for a while.