Thoughts on an escort dumping you

[NJmusclelover]

met up with an escort in late September

Had a great time he charged $250

had him back 3 days later

set up 3rd appt 3 days after that he texted me right before he was supposed to come said he was really sorry

Couldn't get there on time could he come

3 hours late would only charge me $150

I said sure , that night I said if he could come for $200 I would see him every Saturday

He said sure , so for all of October I saw him once a week then he offered to come a second time a week for less $$

So I said sure started seeing him 2 times a week in November some times 3

In December he texted me he would meet me after my Christmas party at 1130 pm

And I texted him back see you soon

And that I would be off for a week for the holidays if he wanted to come out every night

Must have freaked him out because he stood

Me up that night and never contacted me again thought he must have been in a car wreck that night and was so worried

He never answered a single text

Until after 3 weeks when I got a text saying

 

This is a business I'm NEVER is romantically or physically attracted to clients yes I'm nice empathic but he only does it for one reason money

 

I never asked for more than our sessions

Was always respectful of him always

Paid

Did I like him yes , don't you think if your seeing someone that much that they like you ?

 

Am I wrong to feel terrible about the way he handled this ??

Didn't I at least deserve him to explain

Things without just disappearing with out a why or goodbye ?

He really fucked my head up

[+ nycman]

Move on baby.

 

Move on.

 

For whatever reason, this is not the one for you.

 

Don't question it....just move on.

[+ Kufrol]

Sounds harsh, but nycman is right.

[MikeBiDude]

Until after 3 weeks when I got a text saying he NEVER is romantically or physically attracted to clients he only does it for one reason money

Ok, I'll be the outlier here and suggest *maybe* the escort was beginning to have feelings for the client? Maybe the "goodbye John" text was the escort protecting himself.

 

I'm sure I'm wrong.....but I'm reading between the lines and recollecting something that happpened to me many years ago.

 

At any rate, @nycman is correct "move on"

[NJmusclelover]

Thanks , not sure if this has anything to do with it but he is 20 years old

[NJmusclelover]

Sorry that happened to you, don't know why he freaked out as you said you always paid him. Damn I wish I had a client that liked me that much that wanted to see that much. It will hurt but its best to move on and the best way to do that is to get another escort who is going to respect you and treat you as good as you did to that escort. Don't quite understand why he said out of the blue that he was never romantically or psychically attracted to clients, because you wanted to see him every day? He could have said he couldn't do every day or something and not lash out if he didnt want to meet so much

Thanks and it was only for the week I was off

Before this he was texting me all the time to meet up etc... it's weird when you see someone

That much they kind of feel like your friend

I thought we were really.cool with each other

But he is 20

[TUOT89]

Ok, I'll be the outlier here and suggest *maybe* the escort was beginning to have feelings for the client? Maybe the "goodbye John" text was the escort protecting himself.

 

I'm sure I'm wrong.....but I'm reading between the lines and recollecting something that happpened to me many years ago.

 

At any rate, @nycman is correct "move on"

 

Never posted about this before, but your post reminds me of something a friend told me when I was seeking an explanation for why an escort left me with his watch, his iPod, and some other interesting things.

 

He didn't just leave me with those things; he never called to inquire about them. I figured that he didn't mean to leave them behind, but that he was just in a hurry after I effectively fired him on the spot. As to why he never called, I suppose the situation got too socially-awkward for him.

 

When I told a friend this story a year later, my friend's theory was that he left them behind because he wanted me to have something of him. (My friend is an unrepentant romantic.)

[NJmusclelover]

Never posted about this before, but your post reminds me of something a friend told me when I was seeking an explanation for why an escort left me with his watch, his iPod, and some other interesting things.

 

He didn't just leave me with those things; he never called to inquire about them. I figured that he didn't mean to leave them behind, but that he was just in a hurry after I effectively fired him on the spot. As to why he never called, I suppose the situation got too socially-awkward for him.

 

When I told a friend this story a year later, my friend's theory was that he left them behind because he wanted me to have something of him. (My friend is an unrepentant romantic.)

So you don't think after seeing him

So often the escort owes the client

Anything?

In so far as an explanation or a goodbye

Talk ?

I really thought we were kind of like buddy's

[NJmusclelover]

Also wasn't just in and out we would watch

Movies talk about our days etc

[+ purplekow]

Well you were not buddies you were escort and client. Perhaps he was reading you and seeing you thinking it was more than that.

That is not to say that you cannot be friends with an escort, but it does make the situation more complex. I am hiring an escort fairly regularly but for a short time I had some financial difficulties. I stopped calling and then he called me. He suggested we have a meal and we did but I did not offer to hire him. A few weeks later, the same thing and I agreed again and this time he spoke about his own financial straits. I wound up hiring him more out of guilt than lust. They next time he called, I told him that I would have to call him in the future because I was starting to get confused about the expectations of these meals. I have not seen him since but it has only been a few weeks.

[NJmusclelover]

Move on baby.

 

Move on.

 

For whatever reason, this is not the one for you.

 

Don't question it....just move on.

Yeah trying for some reason it's really

Hard find my self looking at his instagram

A lot

[NJmusclelover]

Well you were not buddies you were escort and client. Perhaps he was reading you and seeing you thinking it was more than that.

That is not to say that you cannot be friends with an escort, but it does make the situation more complex. I am hiring an escort fairly regularly but for a short time I had some financial difficulties. I stopped calling and then he called me. He suggested we have a meal and we did but I did not offer to hire him. A few weeks later, the same thing and I agreed again and this time he spoke about his own financial straits. I wound up hiring him more out of guilt than lust. They next time he called, I told him that I would have to call him in the future because I was starting to get confused about the expectations of these meals. I have not seen him since but it has only been a few weeks.

Shouldn't he have handled this differently

Aren't I owed a little respect?

[LivingnLA]

I would say move on. As Buddhism teaches us, we create our own suffering through our unhealthy attachments. Life is change. Adapting, growing, and moving with it are the only ways to survive in a healthy way.

 

Sure, it's possible he saw you "catching feelings" just as it's possible he himself was starting to feel something. Either way, he freaked out. You'll never know why unless he contacts you again in the future.

 

But, for your own sanity and emotional well-being, please remove yourself from orbit around him. Yes, that means stop stalking his Instagram too.

[MassageDrew]

I think you got way too attached for you own good. Does he owe you an explanation? Maybe. I'm not an escort but I've been on dates where they want to see me all the time after the first one. It makes it hard to breathe. Sometimes walking away was the answer. Sure I'd like to say why but the truth can be more hurtful so it's always easier to look bad.

 

What if he did give you some kind of reason? Are you just going to let him go? Or claim you can change?

[+ José Soplanucas]

I think you are obviously having feelings for him beyond the escort/client relationship. It would be good to have the escort's input to get the whole picture. I agree with the friends who are advising you to move on. And do not make the same mistake again.

[NJmusclelover]

Yeah I know your all right

But he was just such a HUGE bodybuilder

Treated me right

Loved hangin out with him

And some things are easier said than done

[Walker1]

Shouldn't he have handled this differently

Aren't I owed a little respect?

Considering he is 20 and not even legally allowed to drink-absolutely no.

[jawjateck]

This is a teachable moment. Never let a contract companion have this effect on you. You're processing and learning, so just take a step back, pause, breathe, and return to hobbying when you are assured that you will not react to a 20-something in this way.

[NJmusclelover]

This is a teachable moment. Never let a contract companion have this effect on you. You're processing and learning, so just take a step back, pause, breathe, and return to hobbying when you are assured that you will not react to a 20-something in this way.

Probably right at first he said he's 25

Believe me in no way looks 20

Been hiring escorts for years

Never got attached to one before

But he was the one offering to come more

And charge less

Sometimes u can't help who you like

But it's not like I ever wanted anything more than just the sessions a few times a week

I actually work to much for that

Plus I'm 53 age difference is too much

Just wanted to have fun

[NJmusclelover]

Considering he is 20 and not even legally allowed to drink-absolutely no.

I know I try to keep that in mind

[jawjateck]

Parsing the motivation/rationale of a provider is a dead-end. I don't go down that path. I just land on the next green pasture.

[NJmusclelover]

Will do my best

Already meeting up with new guy but only

Once a week this time

He's cool and 26

A little better lol

[marylander1940]

Yeah trying for some reason it's really

Hard find my self looking at his instagram

A lot

 

If he doesn't want your money anymore just move on.

 

I wish I had an arrangement like that about seeing a guy 2 or 3 times a week for a discount...

[NJmusclelover]

If he doesn't want your money anymore just move on.

 

I wish I had an arrangement like that about seeing a guy 2 or 3 times a week for a discount...

You saying it was a good arrangement

For me or for him ?

[marylander1940]

You saying it was a good arrangement

For me or for him ?

 

for the 2 of you.

 

I think he's not stable, move on your money is good for all other escorts.