Holiday blues? Me too.

[+ Truereview]

I'm a naturally optimistic person and try to live my life with a jovial outlook.

I do, however, struggle with a bit of the blues this time of year.

You see, I lost my uncle Carlos, my sister, my partner, and my dad all around Nov, Dec, January.

Not all at once, thank goodness, but during this season.

During these months, I tend to become more introspective, maybe even taciturn.

I cope with it by pushing myself to do festive, exciting, connective activities.

Typically, I go on a friend's outing to a warm destination & i do volunteer work.

I engage on my annual letter-writing campaign to thank and appreciate those I love.

These activities help me forget a bit so that I don't get too much in my head.

I realize that won't work for everyone, but it is the right answer for me at this point.

I've had friends tell me that my holiday blues need to be "treated" and that

if I tend to feel like this every year, I have unresolved issues. It may be true.

Interestingly, my gut tells me it is ok to feel blue, to miss those I've loved or what I've lost

- particularly around this season.

 

Ok, enough about me. My question is two-fold:

Do you get the holiday blues and do you know why?

If you get the blues, what do you do ?

[+ WmClarke]

Ok, enough about me. My question is two-fold:

Do you get the holiday blues and do you know why?

If you get the blues, what do you do ?

This year, for the first time, I will have the holiday blues. 26 year marriage ended after two+ years of cancer.

 

I have no idea how I'll cope. I will probably start with copious amounts of alcohol and escorts.

[+ Truereview]

This year, for the first time, I will have the holiday blues. 26 year marriage ended after two+ years of cancer.

 

I have no idea how I'll cope. I will probably start with copious amounts of alcohol and escorts.

(Hug) maybe you are already coping, darling man.

You wrote this down.

It is now in the universe instead of it being bottled up inside you.

Just know that there's a bunch of us here sincerely holding you in our warmest of thoughts.

(Hug)

[jawjateck]

Many hugs and blessings to those who ache and whose hearts break.

[+ WmClarke]

(Hugs) to you, @Truereview - and all who need them!

 

We will all get through this like people always do: with the love and support of other people.

[+ sync]

Interestingly, my gut tells me it is ok to feel blue, to miss those I've loved or what I've lost

- particularly around this season.

 

I also have lost loved ones amid the year-end holidays and I feel exactly as you do, "it is ok to feel blue, to miss those I've loved or what I've lost". I'm not depressed, but I wish to have some alone time to remember them and ponder my own mortality.

[+ glennnn]

@Truereview

Tu eres mi hermano de una madre y padre differentes. Entiendo completamente. (Hope it's okay to "tu" you.) I get blue and miss my childhood family soooooo much. I'm the only one left of the 8 family members who would gather on the 25th for gift opening. I approve of and practice your Holiday Dodge to keep the blues at bay. Happy Holidays, amigo.

[+ bashful]

Interestingly, my gut tells me it is ok to feel blue, to miss those I've loved or what I've lost

- particularly around this season.

 

It's ok to feel blue. I'm sure many sympathize with those who have lost loved ones during, or actually on the holiday. I'm not sure they realize that the holiday season, being so long (decorations, sales, etc., out so far in advance) becomes an early reminder, and extends the time we're reminded of the loss. Thus the blues have a longer time to set in.

[BasketBaller]

Holidays and milestones are profoundly complex for me. The happiness of seeing my sons grow up and become such good men, of being together, of sharing laughter and hopes, is forever mingled with the knowledge that their Mom is not here to see them, to be with us, to laugh and hope with us. So I know to expect that in quiet moments there will be some sadness, but also gratitude for what we have. It's inevitable at some point in the holidays we'll all talk about her and reminisce, and I assume we always will. The twins don't remember her very well, and they love hearing anything about her from me, from their grandparents and uncles and aunts, and even from their big brother.

 

So yes, holiday/birthday/graduation/anniversary blues are to be expected. And you know? It's okay. Life is complex and surprising and happy and sad and altogether wonderful. Sadness that she's not here now has to be mingled with happiness that she was here. And I am never unconscious of the fact that she lives in my boys, our boys-- her boys.

[LivingnLA]

Happiness only exists in contrast to sadness. Life is a journey and sometimes those "happy holidays" are bittersweet or even full blown bummers. The challenge is finding the silver lining to every cloud even as they try sometimes to blot out the Sun and sky.

 

My parents died fairly early and sometimes out of no where I'm hit with sadness knowing my kids will never get to know my amazing dad or fantastic mom. Or that my parents won't see they raised me well enough to not screw up the next generation.

 

When I'm struck by "the blues," I recognize them and go with them without becoming lost in the moment. Like a log floating on a river. A leaf on the wind. See how I soar.

 

Yes, I'm paraphrasing other writers, but they fit.

[Rudynate]

The worst Christmas ever was when I was about 13. My mother had a stillbirth a few days before Christmas and came home from the hospital the day before Christmas. They tried to throw something together at the last minute, but it was the beginning of a sad time in our house that lasted for months.

[+ purplekow]

I think that when I have time to reflect, I usually harken back to the more painful episodes in my life. I think I do this to try to come to better terms with these events rather than to dwell on them. The holiday season , coming as it does for us in the northern climes of the Northern Hemisphere, at the beginning of what most consider the least desirable of seasonal weather, is a time to try to find internal warmth because the outside world is getting colder. So its seems, that the weather and the memories of past Holiday Seasons, conspire to mix the cold of the weather and the warm of the seasonof promise, conspire to join the bitterness of the loss with the sweetness of our memories. Sensory overload of this kind leads to swings of emotion, Today I bought a grave blanket to place on my wife's grave, which I did with eyes moistened from the tears over my loss. I drove home past Christmas displays and houses decorated with holiday lights and I was suddenly overcome with joyous memories of Holiday Seasons past.

To me the Holidays are the BiPolar Express.

[+ purplekow]

I think that when I have time to reflect, I usually harken back to the more painful episodes in my life. I think I do this to try to come to better terms with these events rather than to dwell on them. The holiday season , coming as it does for us in the northern climes of the Northern Hemisphere, at the beginning of what most consider the least desirable of seasonal weather, is a time to try to find internal warmth because the outside world is getting colder. So its seems, that the weather and the memories of past Holiday Seasons, conspire to mix the cold of the weather and the warm of the season of promise, they conspire to join the bitterness of the loss with the sweetness of our memories. Sensory overload of this kind leads to swings of emotion, Today I bought a grave blanket to place on my wife's grave, which I did with eyes moistened from the tears over my loss. I drove home past Christmas displays and houses decorated with holiday lights and I was suddenly overcome with joyous memories of Holiday Seasons past.

To me the Holidays are the BiPolar Express.

[+ José Soplanucas]

A big and special hug to TR and WC. It is OK to feel blue when you have a reason, and both of you have very good ones. Being humans and having a functional brain makes the living experience complicated and sometimes meaningless. Feeling the blues is part of the human experience. I do not have a blue season like True, but I often share the feeling, when I miss the two loves of my life, when I miss any one I loved, when anything happens that make me feel that life has a questionable value. I think is is part of being a sentient being, I think it is also a symptom of strength. There are reasons to feel the blues now and then, we do not need to live in denial to enjoy life and be happy.

[+ Truereview]

The worst Christmas ever was when I was about 13. My mother had a stillbirth a few days before Christmas and came home from the hospital the day before Christmas. They tried to throw something together at the last minute, but it was the beginning of a sad time in our house that lasted for months.

I'm sorry to hear this. Sincerely.

It is interesting to see how sometimes society conditions us to avoid or rush our mourning, when in fact, that's what we really need.

[+ saminseattle]

I cope with it by pushing myself to do festive, exciting, connective activities.

Typically, I go on a friend's outing to a warm destination & i do volunteer work.

I engage on my annual letter-writing campaign to thank and appreciate those I love.

These activities help me forget a bit so that I don't get too much in my head.

 

I don’t know about the blues, but I’ve at least been having the blahs lately. It’s nothing as dramatic as someone close to me dying…just the cold, dark, drizzly weather we have here in the winter.

 

For coping, I try to avoid all the sugary snacks that seem to fill the holiday season and make sure I get plenty of exercise. I went on a long run yesterday and felt so much better!

[+ Truereview]

I don’t know about the blues, but I’ve at least been having the blahs lately. It’s nothing as dramatic as someone close to me dying…just the cold, dark, drizzly weather we have here in the winter.

@saminseattle, I consider you our official forum thread historian and researcher , so I thought you would enjoy this:

@dcguy20 started a great thread on the holiday blahs last year. Some really great posts on that thread. Click here.

 

I'm interested in the holiday blues though. Part of me thinks that we often address happiness and depression in the forum - we tend to discuss absolutes. In my view, being blue is neither good or bad. If anything, in a society where people tend to obscure their true mood or fake happiness, it is refreshing to hear there are others who are sane but feel down occasionally. (Lol, I think there we some sane folks in the forum, yes )

 

For coping, I try to avoid all the sugary snacks that seem to fill the holiday season and make sure I get plenty of exercise. I went on a long run yesterday and felt so much better!

Fuck that! I want my holiday trash food!

I work out and play soccer all year long so I can be a couch potato and a piggy over the holidays!

http://media.giphy.com/media/145CdifMS4hvW/giphy.gif

[mike carey]

@Truereview, it's summer in Uruguay [i know these things from stepping outside today], you don't need Estadounidense snacks as if it's cold outside!

[+ Truereview]

@Truereview, it's summer in Uruguay [i know these things from stepping outside today], you don't need Estadounidense snacks as if it's cold outside!

I take off for Miami tomorrow!!!

Will be there for two weeks. It is going to be about 20c/60s F,

by Punta summer standards, it will be chilly!

I'll need all the carbs and trashy food I can eat...

Heck, I'm craving sausage and wieners too..

[mike carey]

Heck, I, craving sausage and wieners too

Ah, weiners!

[jawjateck]

I take off for Miami tomorrow!!!

 

Well well well, since you will be in Miami, how bout taking this newbie out for a test drive and report back?

 

[+ Truereview]

Well well well, since you will be in Miami, how bout taking this newbie out for a test drive and report back?

 

Mmmmm. I might be tempted.

I do have full dance card, particularly bc I'm flying in my newcomer of the year...

But maybe I can juggle?

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m96yr1mMrs1qjzwvbo4_500.gif

Look at me, juggling with no hands!

[Rudynate]

We're out of town at the moment, laying around at a plush resort in the wine country. We bought a cheese ball an d crackers to snack on last night.

[+ glennnn]

Mmmmm. I might be tempted.

I do have full dance card, particularly bc I'm flying in my newcomer of the year...

But maybe I can juggle?

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m96yr1mMrs1qjzwvbo4_500.gif

Look at me, juggling with no hands!

 

Not to change the subject, but......Is one testicle hanging so much lower like in this tasty guy common? And you should definitely juggle so much that you go home exhausted.

[+ WmClarke]

Heck, I'm craving sausage and wieners too..

Sausage Party!!!