Full time issue

[MasterMaxRR]

Wink Wink

[Rudynate]

I have a very good sense of time. I book, generally, 2-3 hour appointments - incalls, almost always. I don't even think about the time. When I do finally look at the clock, invariably, there is about 15 - 20 minutes left - enough time to shower and dress without hurrying off, settle up and say a nice good-bye. I am usually gone just a few minutes before or a few minutes after the end of the block of time I booked. It has always worked that way.

[+ glennnn]

Late to this conversation, but I wanted to add my two cents.

 

All of my sessions have been two hour in calls, and all has worked out perfectly every time. Talk, making out, sex play, fucking, cumming, talk, showers, kisses, exit. I get to my car and we are right on time, + or - 10 minutes. Never felt rushed. Most recently with the unforgettable, inestimable Rod Hagen, a gem beyond worldly value clothed or nude, I was a little late leaving because he was kissing and hugging me and telling me my impending "I'm bisexual" talk with my son would be fine.

 

What's my point? All my guys have been hot, passionate, fun, etc. , and so warm, gentle, solicitous and focused on me that I don't notice the time. I just relax and let the professional take care of it all. Priceless!!!! And ever so much more satisfying than a trip to the shrink.

[Lookin]

I like putting his fee in the Timer Safe, setting it for fifty-nine minutes, and telling him to listen for the 'ding'. http://www.boytoy.com/forums/public/style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif

 

http://thumbs2.picclick.com/d/w1600/pict/162219265157_/ZC79-ZEITSCHLOSS-SAFE-TRESOR-CHRONOVAULT-mit-Einwurfschlitz.jpg

[Bargara Leatherboy]

Odd that in many ads you see the disclaimer about paying for their time only.

 

I know its a disclaimer - but if i pay for a set period of time, I expect what I get, for me it does not end at the *happy* moment, if I am ready for the escort to leave or if I am ready to leave depending on in call or out call - I will say so - Thanks that was a really good session - would you like to use the shower, if I want the session to run its time - I might say - lets snuggle - or would u like to cum - how can i make it happen for u - or lets share a long shower or whatever.

 

A booking that does not run close to the time I have paid for - will not be a repeat.

 

A booking where the escort is not a clock watcher will result in a repeat booking, maybe a great tip to compensate him for his time and pleasure, or the next booking I will come armed with a gift - like a great bottle of spirits etc

[MiamiLooker]

Help me understand your point. The guys you hire (for the most part) don't consider themselves professionals, but do you hold them to a professional standard according to your own concept of professionalism? That would seem incongruent to me, but maybe I'm missing something or perhaps you are making an entirely different point?

 

My post had nothing to do with my personal hiring practices. I’m sorry if you got that impression. If I hired an escort from a Rentmen ad listing a fee of $300 for an hour, and I paid him the $300 for the hour, I would expect the session to last for an hour. If he accepts the full fee but makes a decision on his own to end the session early, then I absolutely consider that action to be unprofessional.

 

 

Again, my point is that I cannot control (nor do I wish to) how an escort presents himself for this activity - i.e. Professional, amateur, part timer, escort star, performer, etc.

 

 

You have control over whether you hire a particular escort or not. Generally speaking, most forum posters seem to be of the opinion that an escort that advertises on Rentmen is more likely representing himself as a professional than an escort posting an ad on Craigslist. You don’t make that differentiation when hiring?

[+ quoththeraven]

There is an inherent tension between emotional intimacy, peace of mind and personal happiness (on both sides) and the transactional nature of escorting.

 

At the human/interpersonal level, I agree that TR's approach is likely to result in more happiness and less anxiety for both the client and the escort. At the business and legal level, there's no getting away from the catch-22 that if what is being paid for is time, the escort has to be physically present close to the entire time and can't cut the session short while expecting the full fee. The client is also in no position to demand, require or expect specific acts or results because that would cross the line from paying for time only to paying for specific acts or results.

[MiamiLooker]

The client is also in no position to demand, require or expect specific acts or results because that would cross the line from paying for time only to paying for specific acts or results.

What should a client expect?

[+ quoththeraven]

What should a client expect?

 

I'm pointing out some logical inconsistencies. My personal feelings are somewhere in between both viewpoints. There is a point at which good will ends and ripoff starts. It is also true that an escort is another person, not an automaton, and that what they do can render them as emotionally vulnerable as their clients.

 

I realize that's not a concrete answer, but I don't think there is one. Everything depends on a bunch of variables that may play out differently in different situations. No one escort is perfect for everyone. Nor is any given client perfect for every escort.

[Rudynate]

There is an inherent tension between emotional intimacy, peace of mind and personal happiness (on both sides) and the transactional nature of escorting.

 

At the human/interpersonal level, I agree that TR's approach is likely to result in more happiness and less anxiety for both the client and the escort. At the business and legal level, there's no getting away from the catch-22 that if what is being paid for is time, the escort has to be physically present close to the entire time and can't cut the session short while expecting the full fee. The client is also in no position to demand, require or expect specific acts or results because that would cross the line from paying for time only to paying for specific acts or results.

 

To me, this tension is nearly identical to the tension that exists between patient and psychotherapist. The patient is paying the therapist by the hour to be caring, supportive, to give advice, offer insight, etc., etc. But at the end of the hour, it all stops.

[AdamSmith]

To me, this tension is nearly identical to the tension that exists between patient and psychotherapist. The patient is paying the therapist by the hour to be caring, supportive, to give advice, offer insight, etc., etc. But at the end of the hour, it all stops.

Actually that's not the whole picture. Both transference and countertransference persist outside the consulting room, in 'real life.'

[+ Funguy]

To me, this tension is nearly identical to the tension that exists between patient and psychotherapist. The patient is paying the therapist by the hour to be caring, supportive, to give advice, offer insight, etc., etc. But at the end of the hour, it all stops.

 

You do mean "the 50 minutes" don't you?

[AdamSmith]

You do mean "the 50 minutes" don't you?

[Rudynate]

You do mean "the 50 minutes" don't you?

 

 

The "50-minute hour," as they say.

[+ Truereview]

May be me, but if I've had an ok time or better ... and the provider packs it up well before the hour .. it's a strong message he'd rather be elsewhere and doen't care about me or my business. At least he could pretend?

When I read the original post and with no other context, I could only assume that the client had his expectations met but regretted that the escort left before the hour was up. To me, this signals that the client wasn't really aware this (the escort staying the full time) mattered to him until it happened. A great lesson to grow on. I don't think there is anything illegal in saying to an escort upfront (and if it matters to the client): I expect you to stay the full hour. Personally, I choose not to ask for this anymore bc it doesn't matter to me any longer as long as the escort has met whatever we agreed upon.

My post had nothing to do with my personal hiring practices. I’m sorry if you got that impression. If I hired an escort from a Rentmen ad listing a fee of $300 for an hour, and I paid him the $300 for the hour, I would expect the session to last for an hour. If he accepts the full fee but makes a decision on his own to end the session early, then I absolutely consider that action to be unprofessional.

You have control over whether you hire a particular escort or not. Generally speaking, most forum posters seem to be of the opinion that an escort that advertises on Rentmen is more likely representing himself as a professional than an escort posting an ad on Craigslist. You don’t make that differentiation when hiring?

I do not agree that clients should hold escorts to a standard of what is professional or not based on what "generally most forum posters" think. Nor do I agree to hold them accountable for what I as the client believe is professional. What we (client and escorts) should holds each other accountable for is what we both discuss we hope the outcomes to be - with full understanding that sometimes, in this hobby, shit happens. As far as the other question: I will not make distinctions between RM or CL as far as what will yield "professionals". I rather focus on casting a wide net and thoughtfully screening for great partners. YMMV

[Rudynate]

Actually that's not the whole picture. Both transference and countertransference persist outside the consulting room, in 'real life.'

 

 

And the connection between the escort and the client isn't suddenly extinguished because the agreed-on time has elapsed.

[+ quoththeraven]

I do not agree that clients should hold escorts to a standard of what is professional or not based on what "generally most forum posters" think. Nor do I agree to hold them accountable for what I as the client believe is professional. What we (client and escorts) should holds each other accountable for is what we both discuss we hope the outcomes to be - with full understanding that sometimes, in this hobby, shit happens.

 

+1. This stuff is dependent on what you and the escort work out. Although I have my own views on minimum expectations having more to do with mutual respect and recognition of autonomy than time issues, as I hire for multiple hours, as with most things, to assume is to make an ass out of you and me. I've done that myself to my detriment, and to some extent to the escort's as well. Live and learn.

 

As much as people may want concrete guidelines, there is no one answer. I almost wrote "no one size fits all," but around here bigger is usually perceived as better, at least up to a point.

[+ Funguy]

My quote (#20) above referred to escorts only. I did have a massage guy who I saw maybe 4-5 times because he gave a GREAT massage. I always scheduled him for 90 minutes but by about 30-45 minutes we were heavy into f**king and we were done, done, and done by the hour mark. He sent me to the shower and then off. Finally, I asked him why, if I had scheduled and was paying him for 90 minutes, he did not extend the massage before the other activity so we had the entire time. His answer was that his hands get tired quickly but his dick did not; he was figuring the extra money went to the extra activity. So, why not extend the dick time? He answered nope, he could only cum once. I never went back (I actually like to cum twice in that period of time!)

 

I will admit to aiding and abetting his view by returning a few times in the beginning. No more.

[LADoug1]

To me, this tension is nearly identical to the tension that exists between patient and psychotherapist. The patient is paying the therapist by the hour to be caring, supportive, to give advice, offer insight, etc., etc. But at the end of the hour, it all stops.

Not my experience. My current therapist cares about me 24/7 and demonstrates this frequently. I am thoroughly convinced his caring is sincere.

[AdamSmith]

Not my experience. My current therapist cares about me 24/7 and demonstrates this frequently. I am thoroughly convinced his caring is sincere.

OTOH I appreciate Rudynate's remark above that a connection between escort and client can be genuine, and persist from one session to the next. It is not essential or mandatory in the case of an escort, as it IS in the case of a (competent) professional mental therapist, but it is possible. For me it makes the difference between someone I hire once or twice vs. many times.

[Rudynate]

Not my experience. My current therapist cares about me 24/7 and demonstrates this frequently. I am thoroughly convinced his caring is sincere.

 

 

True. But if you couldn't pay him, you would find out very quickly that there is a limit to his caring.

 

Understand that I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that. Nobody works for free and there's no reason that they should.

[Rudynate]

OTOH I appreciate Rudynate's remark above that a connection between escort and client can be genuine, and persist from one session to the next. It is not essential or mandatory in the case of an escort, as it IS in the case of a (competent) professional mental therapist, but it is possible. For me it makes the difference between someone I hire once or twice vs. many times.

 

And people very often see therapists once. They interview them, realize they're not right and don't go back. Or, they go to a therapist for a single, problem-oriented session. The whole business of transference/countertransference is simply a highly reductive way of saying that a relationship develops between client and therapist.

 

I do agree, however, that there may be a lot more at stake in the client/therapist relationship than in the client/escort relationship. Other than that, though, they are close analogs.

[LADoug1]

True. But if you couldn't pay him, you would find out very quickly that there is a limit to his caring.

 

Understand that I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that. Nobody works for free and there's no reason that they should.

He has told me that we would work something out if I couldn't afford to pay my current rate. But I agree that he is in the small minority. He repeatedly assures me that he wouldn't abandon me if my financial stability crashed.

[filmbuff78]

I'm a bottom and relatively new to hiring. I just hired my fourth top tonight. First guy was amazing and spent the entire hour with me, us cumming near the end. Escorts 2, 3 and 4 all came (before me) within 15 minutes of arrival. Very little foreplay. I had to tell one to hold off for a minute. And he did. For a minute. Of course, after they came, they went soft and there goes my fun. One did lay with me, waited to get hard again and then we continued. Is this normal? I can understand a little more if I came first or it was taking me a long time to cum and they couldn't hold it anymore, but with one, I was dressed and back in an Uber 20 min after it dropped me off at his hotel.

[rvwnsd]

Hmmm...this is not consistent with my experience. Although I've had guys cum before the hour was up (i.e. at the 45 - 49-minute mark), only one time did a guy cum within 20 minutes of us starting. It was a morning appointment, he was saving up for me, and as I was blowing him I could tell he was getting close. Long story short, he was extremely apologetic and said it was the best blowjob he had ever received and could not control himself. Honestly, it was extremely hot. We continued playing, as he got hard again within a few minutes, and went WAAAAY over our time. He said something like "now that we don't have to worry about cumming we can play for as long as we want to." When we got together again he charged his one hour rate for a two hour plus session.

 

But enough about me...

 

You mentioned that escorts 2, 3, and 4 all came within 15 minutes and there was very little foreplay. If foreplay is important to you, then be sure to mention that to an escort. Now, I've never had to do that. The guys I've hired have all sensed that I wanted foreplay and foreplay is what we've done. Also, the fact that this has occurred with three of the four guys you have hired makes me wonder whether there is a miscommunication (on both parts - you can give all the signals you want, but if the guy isn't paying attention to them you have what you have) or the guys you have hired are not the right guys for you.

 

So, it seems like it might be time for a little introspection on your part:

• When, within a few minutes of arriving, he is suiting up and getting ready to insert tab "A" into slot "B," but you are not ready for that have you indicated that you want foreplay to continue? You don't have to make a formal announcement ("Excuse me, sir! Foreplay shall continue for another 13 minutes."), nor do you have to set an alarm ("That bell? "Oh, it means the foreplay portion of our appointment has now ended. Please proceed with fucking.") but you could simply continue the foreplay. Most guys should pick up on that as a signal to slow things down. You could also put your hand on his as he is opening the condom and say something like "good things come to those who wait." Regardless the technique you use, you can slow things down.
  
• When looking at ads, are you reading the ad text or hiring solely based on the pictures? Again, speaking from my own experience, when I hired an extremely hot guy whose ad text implied he was NOT the sensual type (and, of course, ignored my "Spidy sense" that told me he was not the right guy for me) I had an hour with a slab of meat that had a big dick attached. Basically, he wanted me to get him hard, bend me over, and go at it for an hour. That's not what I like. He tried his best to give me what I wanted but it just wasn't him. That said, he did NOT cum within 20 minutes.
  
• What is it that you want from a playdate? You don't have to answer here but make a little checklist. It can be stored in your head, on a piece of paper, or in your computer. When reading an ad refer back to your checklist and see if the ad addresses what you like. In time, you won't need it anymore - you will instinctively know what you want.
  
• How do you communicate with your escort? It is perfectly OK to ask questions about his style and to express what you are looking for. I have a little canned inquiry that says something like "Hi, my name is rvwnsd. I like to [insert what I like to do here]. How does that sound to you?"
  

Lastly, now that you have found this forum you can use it as a way to garner information about potential hires. You will not always get information, so don't be discouraged when you don't get a ton of responses. We all live in different places so we might not have experience with one guy or another. Keep in mind that reviews are not allowed in the forum, so you might want to invite respondents to start a "conversation" with you. A "conversation" is a 1:1 message exchange. If someone starts one with you, you will see a little number to the right of the word "Inbox" at the top right of the page.

 

Hope this helps.