Cancellation by escort

[+ pitman]

I recently booked a session with a popular porn star/escort. It was scheduled a day in advance. He did not say anything about reconfirming the next morning. On the day of our appointment I got myself ready and

about an hour before we were to meet I checked my phone. He had texted me several times and since I did not respond he gave my slot to another client. I will be the first to admit that I am not one who feels the need to or wants to be "connected" at all times. Since I did not respond to him in 2 1/2 hours he cancelled. I was very disappointed and pissed off. Was this professional behavior on his part? Was I negligent in not being more "available". I would like to get some honest feedback about how others handle this type of situation.

[sincitymix]

Hmmm if you were a first time hire, id say he wanted to make sure you weren't a flake.

[+ WhamIAm]

Perfectly legit reaction on his part, especially on first meeting. I always check in with a guy a couple of hours before, both for his benefit and my own. Escorts can be flakes too -- booked with one NYC guy who had advertised a trip to DC, checked in with him about 3 hrs before, he told me he'd decided not to go at the last minute and forgot to tell me. Needless to say, no rebook there.

[gallahadesquire]

I think the "final confirmation" should have been relayed to you prior to its happening. For that, I give him the error.

On your side, perhaps you should be more attentive to the electronic era, and at least checked your phone.

 

I think it's escort 1, you 0. But I would rebook. Just get the groundrules clear.

[UpDownUnder]

If you had agreed on a time and place AND there was nothing about the booking that might suggest the need to reconfirm the following morning (e.g. you weren't flying into town that morning) and nothing was said about the need to reconfirm the following morning, then you did nothing wrong and I can understand why you would be upset with him. Had you booked three weeks in advance, then I could see why he might want to reconfirm the day before or the morning of - even if he hadn't previously indicated the need to reconfirm. But since you didn't make your booking until the day before, he definitely should have said something about needing to confirm the appointment the following morning. While many people would assume a potential client should be able to respond to a text within a 2.5 hour window, for all he knew you could have been in a three hour business meeting that morning 0r could still have been chained to your bed by the escort you had hired earlier in the day. At the very minimum, I would have expected him to try to contact you by phone before giving your slot to someone else.

[rvwnsd]

I recently booked a session with a popular porn star/escort. It was scheduled a day in advance. He did not say anything about reconfirming the next morning. On the day of our appointment I got myself ready and

about an hour before we were to meet I checked my phone....

Hmm...seems like you would want to check in more than an hour ahead of an appointment.

 

...He had texted me several times and since I did not respond he gave my slot to another client....

Here's a question: Let's say the morning of the appointment your best friend called you and offered you a free ticket to an event you really wanted to see. The event happened to occur at the same time as your escort appointment. You text the escort and don't hear back. You text him again and you don't hear back.

 

...I will be the first to admit that I am not one who feels the need to or wants to be "connected" at all times. ...

"At all times" is one thing. "When you are meeting another person" is another. Check that phoe frequently when you are supposed to meet someone, whether it is a friend or an escort.

 

...Since I did not respond to him in 2 1/2 hours he cancelled....

Let's go back to the event ticket example from above. Two and a half hours later your friend calls you again about the event. You still have not heard from the escort. What do you do?

 

...I was very disappointed...

That is understandable.

 

...and pissed off....

Hopefully, at yourself for not checking your phone all day.

 

...Was this professional behavior on his part?......

I think he was acting very reasonably. You received several texts from him and didn't answer any of them. Probably sounded to him like you were flaking on him.

 

...Was I negligent in not being more "available"...

In a word, yes.

 

Texting is no longer a new-fangled novelty. It is how people communicate today. People text one another to confirm appointments all the time.

 

...I would like to get some honest feedback about how others handle this type of situation.

I've never been in this type of situation. I always confirm via text the day of a meeting, regardless when an appointment was set up. I also check my phone frequently when meeting someone so that I know whether they are running late, running early, got stuck in traffic, got lost, and so forth.

[CatnameFelix]

I recently booked a session with a popular porn star/escort. It was scheduled a day in advance. He did not say anything about reconfirming the next morning. On the day of our appointment I got myself ready and

about an hour before we were to meet I checked my phone. He had texted me several times and since I did not respond he gave my slot to another client. I will be the first to admit that I am not one who feels the need to or wants to be "connected" at all times. Since I did not respond to him in 2 1/2 hours he cancelled. I was very disappointed and pissed off. Was this professional behavior on his part? Was I negligent in not being more "available". I would like to get some honest feedback about how others handle this type of situation.

 

Well, I feel the fact that he did contact you before the appointment puts the escort in the right, even if you didn't see those messages. I had a similar experience with a pornstar/escort where I think he was in the wrong. I planned it months in advance, conformed it the week of, and the night before. My last message with him was giving him directions to my hotel. The day of I got no messages what so ever, and was blocked on whatsapp. I wish like you're case I knew the reason why our appointment was cancel, but I'm still left in the dark. I'm now not hiring anyone with zero reviews, and focusing on none pornstar escorts.

[+ pitman]

Texting is no longer a new-fangled novelty. It is how people communicate today. People text one another to confirm appointments all the time.

[+ pitman]

I have worked in IT for 40 years, but in my heart of hearts, I am still a Luddite.

[Juan Vancouver]

Hey Pitman,

 

I m sorry this happened to you. I can only imagine the disappointment and the sense of having been unfaired upon. While I see why you would think it's not expected of you to re-confirm on the day (considering how you know you are a very reliable man, yourself) sadly for us, escorts, the only way to determine whether you are trust worthy at all is whether you show up on time and pay the agreed fee.

 

I don't always re-confirm on the day of the session, but whenever I smell the slightest whiff of uncertainty from my client, I make a note and I do send a reminder text on the day. If I haven't heard back form him in 2.5 hours, I will absolutely make other plans.

 

While in this instance the escort was wrong and you had every intention of showing up, I can tell you that in my case I have only been mistaken once. The guy was using a burner phone and turned it one when he was arriving to the session. He was shocked to find many texts messages from me, a couple calls and a voice message letting him know I was no longer expecting him.

 

I concur with the advise already given to you. If you have an appointment booked, turn on your phone or check it often, especially during the day. Not only he might be wanting to check if you are still a go, but he might be having to cancel on you, giving you as much heads up as possible. I feel making yourself reachable is the polite thing to do.

[+ nycman]

...but whenever I smell the slightest whiff of uncertainty from my client, I make a note and I do send a reminder text on the day. If I haven't heard back form him in 2.5 hours, I will absolutely make other plans.

 

I have no problem with this policy...as long I know it upfront.

 

I'm very busy and I can't be sitting next to my phone just in case an escort needs to re-confirm on the day of our meeting.

 

Recently, after agreeing to a meeting, I had an escort say "I'll call before to re-confirm our appointment" I politely replied,

I don't need to re-confirm, I will be there. If you can't commit to the appointment now, please tell me and I will look elsewhere.

If you need me to call you to confirm for your peace of mind, I'm fine with that, but I consider our appointment booked.

 

In the end he didn't need a "confirmation".

 

As always, communication is key. Unfortunately, I think the "we'll confirm the day of you meeting" gets abused a lot by both sides

and used as an excuse. "Since we weren't confirmed......". When I make an appointment, I will be there. I expect the same of others.

 

As I said, I don't mind confirming things. As long as I know it upfront and it's not being used as an excuse to "pencil" me in.

 

And for the record....I would love to "re-confirm" with Mr. Bruno any time, any where, as many times as he wants.....grin

[mike carey]

I concur with what some others have said. Generally speaking I have a mobile phone and e-mail for my own convenience, not for others to be able to contact me immediately if I am not expecting them to do so. But I am not in business. I don't have my phone by my bedside when I am asleep (it lives in the lounge room, and the ringtone is quietish), and check my SMSs and calls when I am ready. However, if I have any sort of meeting or appointment arranged I will pay attention to my phone in case the people I am meeting want to contact me about it. That even applies when I am travelling because airlines will often call or text if there are any delays or changes. Another escort may not have tried to contact you, but this one did, and I don't think his decision, based on your lack of response, was unreasonable.

[Strafe13]

I recently booked a session with a popular porn star/escort. It was scheduled a day in advance. He did not say anything about reconfirming the next morning. On the day of our appointment I got myself ready and

about an hour before we were to meet I checked my phone. He had texted me several times and since I did not respond he gave my slot to another client. I will be the first to admit that I am not one who feels the need to or wants to be "connected" at all times. Since I did not respond to him in 2 1/2 hours he cancelled. I was very disappointed and pissed off. Was this professional behavior on his part? Was I negligent in not being more "available". I would like to get some honest feedback about how others handle this type of situation.

 

I agree with a lot of the general wisdom expressed in many of the responses. It would seem to me, however, that if you book someone the day before, a separate confirmation would be overkill. In that situation, I would not expect an escort to need to confirm so soon after making the appointment. If you'd booked many days, or even weeks/months in advance, then a confirmation on the day of (and perhaps a few confirmations during the long interim period) would be reasonable and expected. If an escort had this particular habit of always needing to confirm any appointment that was more than a few hours or a day away, then I think he should have told you that he would confirm with you the following morning, and would assume the appointment to be canceled if he didn't hear from you within a reasonable time.

 

I'm not that interested in assigning blame, but I think this is more on that escort than on you because he did not tell you that he would need a confirmation for the very next day, so you therefor had no reason to expect that, or to conform your behavior to his expectation. That being said, you seem to be different from many nowadays who are glued to their smartphones and tablets, and always connected. In this era, if you want to make plans with those who are always connected in that way, you may wish to avoid being "unreachable" for huge chunks of the day, lest their imaginations run wild, as it did here.

[+ Keith30309]

I think mobile devices have become a ubiquitous means of communication and assumed by some to be a 24x7 channel by which everyone can be reached. If I am pending a meeting within 48 hours'ish, particularly with someone I don't know, I don't go more than a couple of daytime hours without checking for text/voice messages.

 

The frequency with which I confirm varies widely depending on the companion. I've one regular who I will text on Sunday, for example, "Are you available noon Tuesday?" If the answer is yes then no additional confirmation is necessary.

 

If it is someone I don't know, who isn't known in this community and who appears to not be an experienced professional then I'll confirm 24 hours before the agreed upon time, that morning and if it's an evening appointment, early afternoon. I'm more vigilant about this when travelling because of the difficulty of finding an alternative.

[Juan Vancouver]

Recently, after agreeing to a meeting, I had an escort say "I'll call before to re-confirm our appointment" I politely replied,

I don't need to re-confirm, I will be there. If you can't commit to the appointment now, please tell me and I will look elsewhere.

If you need me to call you to confirm for your peace of mind, I'm fine with that, but I consider our appointment booked.

In the end he didn't need a "confirmation".

 

As always, communication is key. Unfortunately, I think the "we'll confirm the day of you meeting" gets abused a lot by both sides

and used as an excuse. "Since we weren't confirmed......". When I make an appointment, I will be there. I expect the same of others.

As I said, I don't mind confirming things. As long as I know it upfront and it's not being used as an excuse to "pencil" me in.

 

The way in which you wrote your post makes me believe that you communicate in din a direct manner, which is what all of us, escorts dream of. My life is too busy for me to have the chance to "pencil" things on my calendar. I much rather have the certainty that the other side made as strong a commitment as I am making. If you communicated with me like this, I would absolutely don't need a re-confirmation.

 

I only do that when I get language that denotes an even subconscious lack of commitment, like:

 

Me: "So, do you want me to consider the appointment confirmed?"

 

Him: "Well... I don't see any reason for which I wouldn't not be there..."

 

or

 

Him: "Well... if everything goes as planned, I should be able to meet you then, yes, I guess so."

 

or

 

Him: "Yes, we are confirmed... now let's hope I get my check/flight/promotion/tooth fixed/pet spayed/mother buried in time..."

 

In my experience, whenever someone "confirms" a session this way, there's a huge probability he is not seeing the appointment with the same seriousness as I am. In cases like those, I make sure to reconfirm, sometimes the night before, and a couple hours before the appointment I send a quick "Can't wait to meet you, So excited"

 

As I said, I have a busy life, I rather minimize the risk of me sitting there like an idiot waiting for someone who never intended to meet me in the first place.

 

And for the record....I would love to "re-confirm" with Mr. Bruno any time, any where, as many times as he wants.....grin

 

Here's to wishing I get to "re-confirm" you... Or we can take turns "re-confirming" one another. =)

[bobchitown]

It takes 5 seconds to type "CU tonight, hunk". Hardly sitting by the phone all day.

 

I do this whether I've been asked to or not.

[marylander1940]

I recently booked a session with a popular porn star/escort. It was scheduled a day in advance. He did not say anything about reconfirming the next morning. On the day of our appointment I got myself ready and

about an hour before we were to meet I checked my phone. He had texted me several times and since I did not respond he gave my slot to another client. I will be the first to admit that I am not one who feels the need to or wants to be "connected" at all times. Since I did not respond to him in 2 1/2 hours he cancelled. I was very disappointed and pissed off. Was this professional behavior on his part? Was I negligent in not being more "available". I would like to get some honest feedback about how others handle this type of situation.

 

It always a good idea to reconfirm or to text when you're on your way to see him, I guess this was nothing but lack of communication specially now with guys texting from work/business meeting constantly.

 

@pitman

 

You said he didn't say anything about reconfirming the appointment but what time of the day yinz were supposed to getting together? Was it a weekday or weekend?

[+ pitman]

It always a good idea to reconfirm or to text when you're on your way to see him, I guess this was nothing but lack of communication specially now with guys texting from work/business meeting constantly.

 

@pitman

 

You said he didn't say anything about reconfirming the appointment but what time of the day yinz were supposed to getting together? Was it a weekday or weekend?

We spoke on a Saturday afternoon and set up an appointment for Sunday afternoon. He was ready to end the conversation after we agreed on time and place, but I kept him on the line a couple more minutes to tell him a little bit about myself, what I was looking for, and to discuss my HIV status. Although PrEP has become more popular and many guys are less concerned about HIV than in the past I always feel better disclosing my status even if they don't ask.

I hope this signaled to him that I was seriously interested.

 

Thanks for all of your responses, and I just wanted to let you all know my story had a happy ending. After the appointment was cancelled, rather than

staying home licking my wounds, I decided to go out and try to find something else to lick. i was fortunate to meet someone who gave me exactly what I was looking for, so my prep, enema, and Imodium were not for naught!

[MscleLovr]

Good for you, Pitman, in finding another guy who met your needs!

 

That said, I've had men (escorts and non-working men) flake on me in the past. Nowadays I always reconfirm any date I've arranged 3-4 hours ahead. I do it politely by asking if there's anything I need to get for them (beverage etc) and quite often they ask if they can adjust the agreed time by a little.

 

I think it's become very common for young men to regard all arrangements as provisional. Frankly, it's a refreshing surprise when a young man sticks to the originally agreed schedule and meets me punctually.

[rvwnsd]

...Nowadays I always reconfirm any date I've arranged 3-4 hours ahead. I do it politely by asking if there's anything I need to get for them (beverage etc) and quite often they ask if they can adjust the agreed time by a little.

 

I think it's become very common for young men to regard all arrangements as provisional. Frankly, it's a refreshing surprise when a young man sticks to the originally agreed schedule and meets me punctually.

That's a great way to approach a confirmation, @MscleLovr . It also avoids the escort being late.

[BryanKnight]

Hello!

I'm sorry that happened to you, it's unfortunate when innocent misunderstandings interfere with a date.

 

There is no clear right/wrong in this situation.

Your intent was right and you followed a natural pattern to your life.

The professional, like many others, acted in a way in response to many no-shows.

 

Personally I would give the guy a try again (if he was professional and polite).

Give him a call, see how he handles the event. If he's cool and understanding, you might be in for a treat.

[mike carey]

Bryan, I suspect I'm not the only one who would be happy to meet you!

[+ Funguy]

I'm reconfirming now!