Getting serious about safety and money upfront:

[Mocha]

On the heels of this thread:

 

http://www.companyofmen.org/threads/client-cancels-2500-dollar-check-and-threatens-me.115006/

 

I'm realizing I've been too nice, too trusting. I consider myself grateful that in the years of escorting, I've not been physically harmed by a client, and only found myself in one somewhat risky situation long time ago.

 

However, people now seem to be becoming more and more brazen with their tactics. Guys are now making up heinous lies to get out of paying. I now can only agree that all escorts get their money upfront. Unless you're licensed to carry a taser or gun. Don't feel bad about it. Don't let them make you feel you should trust them (as some clients seem to expect us to trust them just because you met before).

 

Case in point: I spent a weekend in the sleepy gay resort town of Provincetown, MA. I enjoyed the town, the "vacation home" was right on the beach, and I had bonded and connected with said client. It was like Key West, Castro and Palm Springs neatly wrapped in a Lobster roll. For the first 24 hours, things were great. Sex wasn't being demanded at all hours, he actually was very nice and accommodating and made sure I was comfortable. There was even equal attraction on both ends. Long story short, he must have been bipolar, a former druggie or schizo and off his meds. Out of nowhere, almost immediately, a series of arguments and accusations (including the 1st one he made up of someone stealing $3,000 from one of the "tenants" rooms on the other side of the house) against me over the course of less than an hour ended with him threatening to kill my cat and slash my throat. Then he threatened to have the police escort me out of the home. I immediately called the police first to ensure I could safely get out of there, and that I didn't end up being accused of something I didn't do. He gave me some money out of it, but I was shorted big time. As for my recourse for him, it's going to come with hell in a handbasket. Because it turned out the home he hosted me in was not his, but rather someone he was there to watch over while they were away.

 

I'm just not even for all this. As much as an asshole he was, whether I stay in business for a few more weeks or a few more years...I'm doing things differently, and I encourage the same. From this point on, I'm now implementing:

 

1. All Clients must show ID unless it appears on my caller ID (when I contacted the police, I did not have the client's full name and it made me appear irresponsible for not knowing)
   
2. Client must sign document agreeing fee to be handed over for time only
   
3. Money to be paid upfront at time of signing
   

 

No more of this bullshit. I'm tired. I'm tired of people thinking they can snake on me, and then Threaten me with police action like I did something wrong. Some people feel that because we're escorts, we should be afraid to contact the police. Heck no. I made that first call and it wasn't even my house. I had no reason to feel I would be arrested for being an escort, even if he made up some lies to the police. I called first. Whoever calls the police first has the upper hand.

 

So yeah, time to muscle business sense-up and not take any more shit from bad clients. Thoughts?

[klifhangar]

You seem to have the WORST luck of any escort. I think it has been asked if you think you maybe need a break? You honestly never seem happy to me.

 

Not a criticism in the least. Just an observation.

[Becket]

So yeah, time to muscle business sense-up and not take any more shit from bad clients. Thoughts?

 

Yikes!

[sincitymix]

You might want to rethink that Mocha. Its all about intent. sure you can say money given is for time only, however i am pretty sure a prosecutor can show intent pretty damn fast just by pulling up your ad.

I asked a lawyer friend about the compensation for time only etc etc phrase. he laughed his ass off.

[DonaldTramp]

Cool story bro. More details please!

[hekilio]

I think you will get fewer, if any, new clients who willl agree to sign a document like that and then pay upfront. This will of course increase the number of posts bemoaning how new clients aren't booking you any more, etc. At that point, I truly hope that you will be able to see the cause and effect, but I am not holding my breath.

[LADoug1]

I'm sorry for the unfortunate experiences you have had. But I would never adhere to your business practices. I suggest you consult with trusted escorts and rethink your decision. I also suggest you take a break. You're burned out at the moment.

[liubit]

Sorry about your mishaps, but I seriously think you are in the wrong profession. Stop escorting, you will be a much happier man.

[Beancounter]

You might want to rethink that Mocha. Its all about intent. sure you can say money given is for time only, however i am pretty sure a prosecutor can show intent pretty damn fast just by pulling up your ad.

I asked a lawyer friend about the compensation for time only etc etc phrase. he laughed his ass off.

 

My best friend is a lawyer and pretty much told me the same thing. Compensation for time only may make the escort feel more secure but as a defense it is pretty laughable.

 

As a side note....Dallas is still feeling blessed and fortunate that Mocha is staying away from us. He appears to be the Democratic version of Donald Trump. Open mouth, insert foot.

[+ saminseattle]

Compensation for time only may make the escort feel more secure but as a defense it is pretty laughable.

 

I don’t claim to be an expert, but I suspect it’s not entirely clear cut, and it really depends on the circumstances. If the only evidence is that you’ve agreed to spend time with someone for money, I should think that would be an excellent defense since there is absolutely nothing illegal about doing this. But if there is other evidence to show that what is really going on is an exchange of money for sex, then don’t assume that having some kind of disclaimer in an advertisement that “money is only for time spent” will be very effective. I don’t know exactly how much evidence the cops need to arrest someone or prosecutors need to convict someone, but I presume that the reason the police go the trouble of setting up undercover stings is that they are looking for some fairly explicit evidence of a sex for money exchange in a particular case.

 

The other thing that’s really important to remember is that law enforcement officials have a great deal of discretion about whether and how to enforce the law. And sometimes they actually have the wisdom to focus on real crimes as opposed to what consenting adults may do behind closed doors. For example, when two Seattle sex workers accused a man of raping them, they went after him, not them: http://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/crime/man-convicted-of-raping-3-women-in-seattle/. And when Don Burns went to the police about Jerec Wentworth’s extortion, they went after the sex worker, and chose not to prosecute the client. http://www.companyofmen.org/threads/hard-time-for-jarec-wentworth.108643/ I would hope that if either party is seriously threatening the other, they would not be afraid to call the cops, and the cops would focus on the threats, not arresting people on allegations of prostitution.

 

Finally, Mocha, I would gently suggest that you may want to consider a different career path, as this kind of work does not seem to be going well for you. I know it can be hard to transition to something new, but in the end you may be happier. I sincerely wish you the best in your future endevours.

[josh282282]

• All Clients must show ID unless it appears on my caller ID (when I contacted the police, I did not have the client's full name and it made me appear irresponsible for not knowing)
  

• Client must sign document agreeing fee to be handed over for time only
  

• Money to be paid upfront at time of signing
  

 

Mocha,

 

I ABSOLUTELY, 100%, with full-on agreement, NO reservations, NO hesitations AGREE with your plan. It's brilliant, actually. Why hasnt another escort thought of this before? Well, obviously you are the most intelligent among escorts. Your insight is impressive.

 

DO NOT even ASK any ones opinion on this anymore because it's such a good idea. In fact, if you can, delete this post so no one can interrupt your strategy.

 

Next, when a prospective client texts you or emails you, don't speak with him. FIRST, send him a document you mentioned above outlining your above listed requirement of money UPFRONT (OMG, really, its an idea that is a stroke of genius). Make sure there is a place at the bottom to sign and date. Require them to scan in a copy of their drivers license with their signed document so if later you need to prove who they are in court. Thats the whole point of this, right? Your new policy: No signed document and No scanned drivers license= No Mocha.

 

Only AFTER you have signed documents in hand (and after you have done the requisite background check), will you communicate with them. Not a moment before. Make them earn you. You are worth it.

 

With the above listed protocol EVERY problem you have (very, very well) documented here in Daddys this past year, and I mean Every.Single.One will just...go...away....

 

And its all from you. You truly are brilliant.

 

Stop thinking this thru, Mocha.

Just do it.

[JayNY]

I'm sorry for the bad experiences you have had, I wish you well.

 

 

/

[+ ArVaGuy]

A www, jeesh dude.

 

Don't tell me some client stole your lube again.

 

You gotta learn to screen out the riffraff.

 

[MikeBiDude]

On the heels of this thread:

 

http://www.companyofmen.org/threads/client-cancels-2500-dollar-check-and-threatens-me.115006/

 

I'm realizing I've been too nice, too trusting. I consider myself grateful that in the years of escorting, I've not been physically harmed by a client, and only found myself in one somewhat risky situation long time ago.

 

However, people now seem to be becoming more and more brazen with their tactics. Guys are now making up heinous lies to get out of paying. I now can only agree that all escorts get their money upfront. Unless you're licensed to carry a taser or gun. Don't feel bad about it. Don't let them make you feel you should trust them (as some clients seem to expect us to trust them just because you met before).

 

Case in point: I spent a weekend in the sleepy gay resort town of Provincetown, MA. I enjoyed the town, the "vacation home" was right on the beach, and I had bonded and connected with said client. It was like Key West, Castro and Palm Springs neatly wrapped in a Lobster roll. For the first 24 hours, things were great. Sex wasn't being demanded at all hours, he actually was very nice and accommodating and made sure I was comfortable. There was even equal attraction on both ends. Long story short, he must have been bipolar, a former druggie or schizo and off his meds. Out of nowhere, almost immediately, a series of arguments and accusations (including the 1st one he made up of someone stealing $3,000 from one of the "tenants" rooms on the other side of the house) against me over the course of less than an hour ended with him threatening to kill my cat and slash my throat. Then he threatened to have the police escort me out of the home. I immediately called the police first to ensure I could safely get out of there, and that I didn't end up being accused of something I didn't do. He gave me some money out of it, but I was shorted big time. As for my recourse for him, it's going to come with hell in a handbasket. Because it turned out the home he hosted me in was not his, but rather someone he was there to watch over while they were away.

 

I'm just not even for all this. As much as an asshole he was, whether I stay in business for a few more weeks or a few more years...I'm doing things differently, and I encourage the same. From this point on, I'm now implementing:

 

1. All Clients must show ID unless it appears on my caller ID (when I contacted the police, I did not have the client's full name and it made me appear irresponsible for not knowing)
   
2. Client must sign document agreeing fee to be handed over for time only
   
3. Money to be paid upfront at time of signing
   

 

No more of this bullshit. I'm tired. I'm tired of people thinking they can snake on me, and then Threaten me with police action like I did something wrong. Some people feel that because we're escorts, we should be afraid to contact the police. Heck no. I made that first call and it wasn't even my house. I had no reason to feel I would be arrested for being an escort, even if he made up some lies to the police. I called first. Whoever calls the police first has the upper hand.

 

So yeah, time to muscle business sense-up and not take any more shit from bad clients. Thoughts?

 

Just one more post from you confirming you are not on my short list to hire, although your posts put you on that list long ago. And if client friends ask about you? Well....a couple links to posts like this.

 

Good luck with your plan. Pay close attention to @josh282282 post, he's got it right.

[Becket]

I'm such an image guy. @josh282282 has finally clarified it for me. I have always wondered what the phrase, "dripping with sarcasm" actually looked like. It's like his post went through a car wash of honey.

[BaronArtz]

Just admit it. You DID steal the $3,OOO. We are your friends, we understand ...

[Frequentflier]

I'm just not even for all this. As much as an asshole he was, whether I stay in business for a few more weeks or a few more years...I'm doing things differently, and I encourage the same. From this point on, I'm now implementing:

 

1. All Clients must show ID unless it appears on my caller ID (when I contacted the police, I did not have the client's full name and it made me appear irresponsible for not knowing)
   
2. Client must sign document agreeing fee to be handed over for time only
   
3. Money to be paid upfront at time of signing
   

 

No more of this bullshit. I'm tired. I'm tired of people thinking they can snake on me, and then Threaten me with police action like I did something wrong. Some people feel that because we're escorts, we should be afraid to contact the police. Heck no. I made that first call and it wasn't even my house. I had no reason to feel I would be arrested for being an escort, even if he made up some lies to the police. I called first. Whoever calls the police first has the upper hand.

 

So yeah, time to muscle business sense-up and not take any more shit from bad clients. Thoughts?

 

You asked. My thoughts are that if you encounter anyone who will comply with your three steps they are most likely clinically insane and you should retreat to a safe place.

[+ Topseed]

Your 3 terms are unacceptable to the point of being laughable. Seriously, what are you thinking?

[+ harey]

[marylander1940]

 

1. All Clients must show ID unless it appears on my caller ID (when I contacted the police, I did not have the client's full name and it made me appear irresponsible for not knowing)
   
2. Client must sign document agreeing fee to be handed over for time only
   
3. Money to be paid upfront at time of signing
   

 

 

Your 3 terms are unacceptable to the point of being laughable. Seriously, what are you thinking?

 

 

I'll never agree with such demands!

 

http://realtalkwithkb.typepad.com/.a/6a0120a95a88d5970b01b7c80f2fc8970b-800wi

 

Would any of yinz do it?

[coriolis888]

Your 3 terms are unacceptable to the point of being laughable. Seriously, what are you thinking?

 

 

Considering the potentials for abuse, most clients will not comply to the terms of your demands (showing identification, signing a false certification and paying in advance).

 

It is unfortunate that you feel the need for such demands. Nonetheless, telling a client to sign the documents you listed, plus pay in advance, will cause most clients to pass you by.

 

In short, your demands are a blueprint for failure as an escort.

 

Either leave the profession or come up with a different business plan.

 

The best to you.

[Mocha]

Following up to this thread...matter has been solved, punishment has been executed.

 

Since I only read the last post as I can't be arsed to argue, some people seem quite defensive about the right to put things in writing and knowing who they are meeting. However, Outside of the male escort business I've had photographers (who were doing free photo shoots) ask me to sign papers and show I.D. as well. Female escorts have been doing it for years. It's called "screening". So I really don't think it's some kind of race to the end here. You sign a paper and show I.D. when ever you swipe your credit card. You sign waivers and show I.D. at a gym (Some places even keep your I.D. Until you're done) when you use a free day pass at a gym because they don't know who you are. Just because I'm not working under some corporate name doesn't mean it's any less of a requirement.

 

However, regardless of that I decided on my own that its easier to just get the money up front...but ESPECIALLY for every adam4adam client. What I left out was, this was an adam4adam client. The site has always been known for stiffers.

 

Now, one can say whatever about Adam...but just a couple months ago I used it in 2 different states and met some really good clients. Non of them threatened to slit my throat and all paid my fee. Thats been the case for years, but when one slips thru the crack, one can find themselves in bad situations.

 

That was a case of a client who became very jealous of me, was mentally unstable, and red flags were everywhere. I should have known when in his early communication he said he "bought a ticket on the ferry for me to travel to Ptown from Boston". Using my escort alias. Yet, I said nothing about not having transportation to get there. He also was jealous of me, saying things like he wishes he could do what I'm doing. The whole "someone broke into his home and stole $3,000 from housemate" story he made up was an elaborate plan to get out of paying me by creating a false flag story to get me out the house.

 

And for anyone who imagines all this was going down in some cheap rundown Provincetown hotel, to ensure I was contacting the right parties, I had to pull info from Public records. Both homes were appraised at over $1,000,000. So this was like a bad episode of Housewives of Hollwood.

 

Last thing: anyone who sounds even remotely crazy, ESPECIALLY from adam4adam, will be cut off. I had someone contact me yesterday off a4a. Everything sounded normal, he was going to be on his way, full profile, etc. But then the crazy came out, talking about his phone might be tapped because he hired a masseur/prosititute and had the police involved. Block/Delete, went back to bed. Got to weed the crazies out before they even say, "I'm on my way."

[MikeBiDude]

Yup, keep digging that career grave.

http://www.referee.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/9-Easy-Ways-to-Kill-Your-Career.png

[SteelFan]

LOL

[MasterMaxRR]

Hi Mocha!

 

After observing some of your other posts and responses, I have to assume that you may not like my opinion, and that's okay. I don't take disagreement personally. If you're going to shoot holes in my theories and opinions, I will always, always try to see your side of the issue and will take any well presented opinions seriously. Having said that, if you want to see my ideas as hostile and respond in kind, then don't expect me to reply much or think I will continue the debate for the sake of argument. I've stated my opinion and it's certainly reasonable that you might want to tell me to get lost, but it's just that, an opinion based on my experiences and not a criticism of how you choose to work in the business. I've been in the game a long, long time and have learned to respect and understand other escort's methods even if I would never work that way myself. Take care though, once you reject my advice in a manner that is negative, derogatory or clearly fails to at the very least consider my perspective, I will not be inclined to offer it again. This is as absolute as your convictions stated in your original post.

 

This method you suggest of requesting ID, Signing a document and being paid up front (especially all three at once) will scare off potential clients, period. That is a simple truth of economics and human nature. I've implemented similar rules myself in the past and have clearly seen the effect it has to new clients and it's not often pretty. I've been so frustrated at the wishy washy nature of some clients that I have had to do the same even to this day, but thankfully it is rare. My best advice to you is to not let the relative few that you are frustrated with dictate your actions that will alienate the good clients and make it that much more difficult to do your job. Having said that, I believe your choice to make this strong stance indeed has merit. Sometimes we must go to an extreme to protect ourselves from those who seek to be assholes about our work. Contacting the police was absolutely the right thing to do in the situation you presented. It is always frightening to deal with an unstable individual and it makes me sad that you would have to go through that situation as no human being deserves that. I don't feel pity for you since you are clearly strong enough to not need it, but I can empathize having been in the same situation exactly six times in 19 years. I remember every one, but refuse to give the assholes power over me by changing how I work.

 

Perhaps finding another way to get the security you want would be wiser than your suggested approach, it's up to you. Allow me to provide a few examples, knowing that you might think it stupid or unreasonable. I've seen the dark side of this business and I can understand the resentment that makes it so easy for us to build unbreakable walls, even to our own detriment.

 

ID. If they object to showing ID, then it's quite possible they have something to hide or are planning to do something that they don't want to give you the ID in case you decide to contact Law Enforcement when the jig is up. It's also quite possible that they are terrified that you will use their identity against them. They don't know you and you don't know them. Instead of mandatory ID with no explanation, simply say that you would feel much more comfortable and trusting if they provide some verification of their identity. Giving a good reason and showing a little vulnerability to a client often compels people to do as you ask without having to stick to a closed and absolute policy.

 

Signing documents. As a BDSM Master and escort, these types of contracts are quite common. However, in your case since you had such a close call with the LEO's and a potentially dangerous client I could recommend no less than an agreement in writing if that puts you at ease and let's you be a good escort who doesn't have to jump at every perceived threat because you've had some bad experiences. On the backside of my advice, if they balk at signing a contract, ask them why it makes them uncomfortable and maybe think about a way you can get your contract and they are assured that you won't use that contract against them. It takes more work than a simple policy of "No contract, No fun", but it does bypass most of the objections that people are posting here to the idea.

 

Money to be paid up front. This is always a sticky wicket as by merely suggesting that the client might be dishonest makes the genuinely honest ones feel judged before they had a chance to prove themselves as trustworthy. I've never felt comfortable demanding money up front myself, but if I've got the nagging feeling they might be a player, then I have no qualms asking to see that they brought the money. When they present the money, I don't take it, I just explain that it's easy to get ripped off, and I appreciate them showing me, but I always have them hang on to the money until the end of the session. If they decide then they don't want to pay me, and I believe I've offered what I'm charging for in good faith, then it is a loss for me, but it's a much greater loss for them as well as they will eventually run out of escorts to con. In this case, fighting it does no good. Just let them go with their free fuck and hope Karma bites them in the ass. They fucked themselves over in the fact that they can't come back, they've been blacklisted by you. The only way you can really get a shot in revenge is to simply tell the client that you will be informing other escorts of their behavior and will see to it that they will find it very hard to secure another escort if they continue this strategy. It may not be true, but it provides a sense of satisfaction that just might keep you from getting so frustrated with the shit side of escorting and make them think twice about their need to have one over on the escort.

 

Ultimately, I am not trying to say your approach is wrong. If it's worth your sanity to implement these rules despite scaring off potential clients then do it no matter what anyone else says. I know the need to feel protected from bullshit has no price. On the other hand, if you implement these rules and are surprised at the real world implications of such rules, then you might need to scale back a bit while finding a way to get the protection you need. Keep the attitude as it comes in handy in dealing with the players, but give people half a chance to prove themselves as trustworthy. Above all else, when you smell bullshit, deal with it as you see fit. You have my full support in that!

 

As i've said, I hope you find at least a little of this as useful. If you genuinely want to allow me to help pull you back from where frustration and resentment has taken you, (and rightfully so), I will be here to help always.

 

I understand where people are coming from that respond to your post tell you that you're not in the right business, but far be it from me to suggest the same. No one should have to do this type of work if all it does is generate a less than ideal situation for you emotionally and spiritually. This is quite axiomatic, but I also think that people who say this and don't offer an alternative suggestion are failing to see your side of things, so here is my suggestion.

 

Continue escorting, but please consider doing so in a BDSM path. You seem to have a strong personality and a no bullshit attitude that will fit well with serving clients that want to be subdued and controlled. Hopefully by considering this field of escorting, you may learn that what you couldn't stand as a mainstream escort might not be as much of an issue in the BDSM world. Please be aware that I've read every post and response on this website including yours. Also remember that you've posted many pages on the way you perceive things and having read every word, I believe this to be a very valid option for you. I do not make this suggestion lightly. Like I said, most of the rules you wish to implement are quite standard in the world of BDSM and not many would blink at those requirements. Eventually, I hope that working with people that have integrity and a need to follow rules and obey will help bring out the best in who you are as an escort. It certainly has been the case for me.

 

Love and Light,

Master Max