Paying Upfront

[hunterlee]

Hunter, as someone who has seen you before I would have been upset if you asked me to pay upfront when I got there. This is probably a new policy for you as I don't think it was on your ads or website when I saw you late last year.

This was at at your hotel in SF so not sure if it applied. You can't expect a client to read every little detail on an ad or website. If you state upfront when booking that is another thing and up to client to proceed.

Yes, always a risk of having a flake but on clients side always a risk for client too. If I went into a restaurant and they said I need to hand over $30 before eating I would be out the door since that is not the norm.

Yes, your place and your rules but risk having a ticked off client.

 

Thank you for seeing me in sf!

[hunterlee]

It could be your client didn't know about your policy for payment up front. I didn't remember seeing it in your ad, and not until I had looked at your website a few times did I see that requirement buried and briefly stated in the FAQs. Clients also use the initial meet and greet time to vet whether to move forward.

 

Just from a personal perspective, someone who is new to hiring, older, and not exactly proud of current body, a request to pay up front just feeds my insecurities in that, but for the fact that I am paying you, you would not (insert the appropriate verb) me.

 

Thank you for sharing your personal perspective. It allows me to understand more about the environment hiring nature.

[gezellig4u]

I am also in the "not paying up front" camp. Fortunately, the one time that I actually did go against script and was asked for the donation early on, everything worked out (detailed narrative at http://www.companyofmen.org/threads/dont-pay-up-front-and-other-cautions.115212/page-2#post-1114604). But I did not tip him, even though I have always tipped - generously - when following the usual practice of paying at the end of the date. I think the nice restaurant analogy really does apply. I would add this to it: A fast food resto requires you to pay up front, but there is no tipping, and in the future you can just go to any other fast food joint.

[LADoug1]

I didn't used to pay upfront but now I usually put an envelope out when I arrive when seeing an escort more than once. Why play games?

[+ dutchmuch]

 

LADoug, does the 'scort go over and see what's in the envelope before proceeding with the nasty?

[coriolis888]

Kevin Slater

 

 

"I'm not a fan of charging upfront. The client is hiring for a fantasy; throwing the mercantile in his face at the get go is no way to provide that. It also demonstrates a lack of trust at the exact moment that trust ought to be established.

 

Absolutely correct!

 

If you nonetheless decide to make it a regular practice, you ought at least warn the client ahead of time. Surprises aren't good.

Again, absolutely correct.

 

It also implies that you often have trouble getting paid: i.e. you're not that good of an escort.

This is correct, also -

 

 

My rambling thoughts...

Your thoughts are not rambling - they are words of wisdom

[Zapped]

Hunter, I've been reading this board for over 10 years, and made my first hire in the early 1980s, back when street hustling was a big thing and we also used print classifieds.

 

The near-universal experience has been that when a provider asks for the money up front, it's because the client is not going to get what he thinks he's paying for. It also can be a sign that a sting is in process.

 

That's why the collective wisdom is that it's best for everyone, escorts and clients alike, to not even discuss money during the session.

 

Each of us in a service business will get ripped off once in a while. That's just a part of doing business.

[Rudynate]

Hunter, I've been reading this board for over 10 years, and made my first hire in the early 1980s, back when street hustling was a big thing and we also used print classifieds.

 

The near-universal experience has been that when a provider asks for the money up front, it's because the client is not going to get what he thinks he's paying for. It also can be a sign that a sting is in process.

 

That's why the collective wisdom is that it's best for everyone, escorts and clients alike, to not even discuss money during the session.

 

Each of us in a service business will get ripped off once in a while. That's just a part of doing business.

 

Wise words.

[LADoug1]

 

LADoug, does the 'scort go over and see what's in the envelope before proceeding with the nasty?

Never had that happen. I only see professionals.

[liubit]

Something that happened to me recently. I had a terrific time with a boy and, just after he left, I realized that I had forgotten to pay him. I was terribly embarrassed, and I immediately called him: he hadn't thought about the money either. We had a good laugh, he came back, and I paid his dues. Now, with this particular boy, I pay upfront. But only with him

[johnjohn]

Hunter I just looked over your website several times, I did not see the pay up front part? Not sure how I missed it?

I don't think I would ever pay up front., the few times I have it never went well.

I am thinking you might get more tips if pay afterwards, I most always tip . Each case is different I guess

[RyanTurner]

In my personal experience I've always based that decision on how the vibe felt over a text or call. If the person acts shady I will definitely ask for the money upfront, however generally speaking I don't. Now if we're talking about an overnight or even a weekend trip I do ask for upfront. BECAUSE, some of you may or may not agree. I found it terribly uncomfortable after you've spent all that private time together to exchange money afterwards. It's like "hey, I had an awesome time with you, but now it's time to pay...." In all the years I've been in the biz I still haven't gotten over that one. So, I always ask to take care of the consideration factor first that way when we part ways the last thing either of us remember is the time spent, not the transaction that happened. That's my two cents....

[WolfRamNHard]

Good thread. As always, it's very helpful to know how others handle this kind of thing. It's not like this kind of info is going to get discussed in the NYT or Lifehacker, or E-How for that matter.

[Rod Hagen]

If you ask for money upfront, ever or anywhere, you risk leaving a bad taste in the client's mouth (ha ha) and decrease the likelihood that they will return. You want ALL the good ones to be return clients.

[coriolis888]

 

If you ask for money upfront, ever or anywhere, you risk leaving a bad taste in the client's mouth and decrease the likelihood that they will return. You want ALL the good ones to be return clients.

 

 

What you wrote makes sense for long-term client relationships. However, there are escorts who don't care about repeat clients.

 

Lots of escorts travel often to various cities and do not establish ongoing client relationships. These type escorts often live for the moment and are not concerned about how a client reacts to being asked to pay in advance or how a client reacts when the advertised price of the meeting changes depending on the menu chosen by a client.

 

Of course, there are honest escorts. However, statistically, most honest escorts don't ask for payment in advance unless travel is involved.

[+ bashful]

Lots of escorts travel often to various cities and do not establish ongoing client relationships. These type escorts often live for the moment and are not concerned about how a client reacts to being asked to pay in advance or how a client reacts when the advertised price of the meeting changes depending on the menu chosen by a client.

 

Of the total four escorts I've hired, three were from out of town. I've been fortunate that none of them, including a local guy I've meet four times now, have asked me to pay in advance. And, all three out-of-towners have let me know when they were going to be back in town.

 

I don't know what I would do if they did ask me to pay in advance, but a least I have this website to guide me.

[+ Keith30309]

To the best of my recollection I've only been overtly, no-kidding asked one time though I generally drop an envelope on a table when I walk in with someone I've never met. That turned into a huge mess and the guy was a major loser. I should have know better when he said something to the effect that some guys get buyers remorse.

 

I have had guys count the money first and that felt a little tacky and trust-busting, though I understand the difficult position they faced.

 

The ideal circumstance is that we both enter the arrangement with an assumption of trust based on experience, prior vetting and instinct.

[MikeBauer]

While perusing rentmen a few months ago, I came across an escort's profile which was somewhat vague in terms of the information he had provided about himself. I was interested anyway, so I sent him a discrete and friendly message, asking for more information about his general interests and rates, and inquiring about his availability. He responded by telling me that he had recently had a plethora (well, okay, he did not not actually use the word "plethora") of messages from potential clients who had ended up not hiring him. He wrote that in order to weed out "non-serious time wasters," he now required a Paypal deposit before he answered any questions about his interests, rates, or availability. This deposit, of $250.00, would be "deducted from the fee of the first meeting." If we did not actually meet, he would be keeping the donation for his time.

 

Um...no. If an escort requires a huge deposit just to clarify if he's versatile or not, and whether he can see me on the weekend or not, my only response is, "Next...!"

[Kevin Slater]

He wrote that in order to weed out "non-serious time wasters," he now required a Paypal deposit before he answered any questions about his interests, rates, or availability. This deposit, of $250.00, would be "deducted from the fee of the first meeting." If we did not actually meet, he would be keeping the donation for his time.

 

I wonder how his close rate fared after that.

 

Kevin Slater

[MikeBauer]

I wonder how his close rate fared after that.

 

Kevin Slater

 

I know there are many naive people out there, who fall victim to on-line scams, but with so many other attractive and personable escorts on-line (particularly in THIS forum!), I cannot imagine many potential customers would send this guy money via Paypal, just to get some routine questions answered.

[+ Truereview]

There is no bigger turnoff for me than getting to the point of closing and then the escort springs a surprise like: oh, btw, since this is the first time I meet you, I will need to collect my donation upfront. Dude, say that sooner!

 

It has happened to me 3 times in 10 years. I refused to meet 2 out of the 3. The third one sprung it on me when he arrived. I paid him and told him that he had spoiled the fantasy that I had imagined, but that I rather pay him to leave than for me to have it bug me while together. He apologized and said, let me buy you a drink and let's talk. I took him up on it. To this day, I still think about how this guy turned what could have been a negative experience into what is now a 6-year escorting arrangement with me. The point he demonstrated to me is that shit happens, but a good recovery can work miracles.

[+ Keith30309]

While perusing rentmen a few months ago, I came across an escort's profile which was somewhat vague in terms of the information he had provided about himself. I was interested anyway, so I sent him a discrete and friendly message, asking for more information about his general interests and rates, and inquiring about his availability. He responded by telling me that he had recently had a plethora (well, okay, he did not not actually use the word "plethora") of messages from potential clients who had ended up not hiring him. He wrote that in order to weed out "non-serious time wasters," he now required a Paypal deposit before he answered any questions about his interests, rates, or availability. This deposit, of $250.00, would be "deducted from the fee of the first meeting." If we did not actually meet, he would be keeping the donation for his time.

 

Um...no. If an escort requires a huge deposit just to clarify if he's versatile or not, and whether he can see me on the weekend or not, my only response is, "Next...!"

By any chance was this the NigerianPrince traveling around a while back?

[mike carey]

@Truereview, great story, glad that one worked out for you. As an aside, I would love to meet the guy in question as he seems to value his profession.

[+ Truereview]

@Truereview, great story, glad that one worked out for you. As an aside, I would love to meet the guy in question as he seems to value his profession.

Pm me when you are ready!

[MikeBauer]

By any chance was this the NigerianPrince traveling around a while back?

 

No, but I did think he was acting like an entitled queen, LOL.