Paying Upfront

[hunterlee]

This is the first time I've had a client leave my incall because I wanted my payment upfront. I might be rough around the edges sometimes but I am quite logical.

 

Client -

Tried hanging me down to 300 for two hours (didn't happen) ended up agreeing to my rates.

Was one hour late.

Had poor communication grammar. (I am a grammar nazi, so this might not be an annoyance for some)

 

Typically I make all my Incall clients pay upfront and I usually lay it out on the table until the session is finished. Key word in this paragraph "Incall" meaning my place/my domicile/ my residence of responsibility.

 

My logical reasoning

1. I'm not going anywhere you know where I am staying / live.

2. I'm vulnerable in a sense that all my possessions are in the room with us

3. I typically stay at higher end hotels and with status I get upgraded to suites. (The comfort factor there alone knowing that you are in a $400/500 a night room)

 

With an outcall I ask for it at the end. Key word in this paragraph "outcall" meaning your place / your domicile/ your residence of responsibility.

 

My logical reasoning

1. I'm in your home / hotel. I know where you are and live

2. I'm in your home / hotel. I know where you are and live lol. ;p

 

I'm open to constructive criticism and opinion.

[rvwnsd]

I would not pay an escort up front. Period. I hope you at least inform the potential client before he books of your requirement for payment up when hosting.

 

That said, if you have misgivings about a client, you might want to consider not seeing that client.

[mattr]

I place the money in an envelope and put it in plain sight. I have never had an escort touch it while I am in the room.

[Kevin Slater]

I'm not a fan of charging upfront. The client is hiring for a fantasy; throwing the mercantile in his face at the get go is no way to provide that. It also demonstrates a lack of trust at the exact moment that trust ought to be established.

 

Also, it makes it very hard for him to tip for a good encounter. I say by not pre-charging you'll make more in tips than you'll lose in deadbeats.

 

Every business knows it'll lose something in the form of shoplifting. We're no different, it's part of running a biz.

 

That being said, if the guy has given every warning sign, I think it's ok to very occasionally request funds upfront, or decline the booking altogether. If you nonetheless decide to make it a regular practice, you ought at least warn the client ahead of time. Surprises aren't good.

 

It also implies that you often have trouble getting paid: i.e. you're not that good of an escort. No reason to put that question in his mind.

 

My rambling thoughts...

 

Kevin Slater

[hunterlee]

I would not pay an escort up front. Period. I hope you at least inform the potential client before he books of your requirement for payment up when hosting.

 

That said, if you have misgivings about a client, you might want to consider not seeing that client.

 

Thank you for advice. My purpose is to reflect on my actions and decisions. Feedback always helps me out myself in perspective.

 

Yes, I write this information on my website and tell them to please review my polices. I tell them I'm happy to answer any questions that they have. If they decide to forgo the reading I can't justify their actions. I spend the first 10/15 minutes speaking with a client to see if I'm a match for them. If it's a no go, I tell them they are free to go with their money as well. After a year I've never had any clients disagree until this single event.

[hunterlee]

I place the money in an envelope and put it in plain sight. I have never had an escort touch it while I am in the room.

 

Thank you for insight !

 

Envelopes get left where they are :-)

[HardnThick]

I’ve paid upfront a few times—always a mistake. Two guys took the money, said they wanted to freshen-up in the bathroom but actually walked out of the hotel room, cash in pocket.

 

 

Another was completely detached (despite communication to the contrary) and tried to rush me with a mechanical hand job. Refused any other type of contact either from me or toward me.

 

 

Also, I do my best to communicate expectations and seek mutual agreement when setting up the meeting. I'm a gentleman. Paying after saying hello kills the fantasy and the fun.

 

 

Finally, I learned my lesson.

 

 

I’ll never pay upfront again.

[hunterlee]

I’ve paid upfront a few times—always a mistake. Two guys took the money, said they wanted to freshen-up in the bathroom but actually walked out of the hotel room, cash in pocket.

 

 

Another was completely detached (despite communication to the contrary) and tried to rush me with a mechanical hand job. Refused any other type of contact either from me or toward me.

 

 

Also, I do my best to communicate expectations and seek mutual agreement when setting up the meeting. I'm a gentleman. Paying after saying hello kills the fantasy and the fun.

 

 

Finally, I learned my lesson.

 

 

I’ll never pay upfront again.

 

[paragraph 1] I'm going to assume they went to you as an outcall? Or did they walk out of their own hotel rooms lol. Regardless shame to hear.

 

[paragraph 2] I am curious in that situation, if he asked for you to pay at the end and the session went like that, what would have happened? I am simply curious

 

[paragraph 3] I now understand that as the main theme. I don't know if this information helps, I ask first time appointments upfront and any appointments afterwards i haven't asked till the end. I guess I am a creature of habit.

 

Another main theme I've noticed is that people have commented about my "prim and proper" nature. Nothing wrong with it as the phrase goes "different strokes for different folks". Just self reflecting if that nature also influences my decision making.

[hunterlee]

I'm not a fan of charging upfront. The client is hiring for a fantasy; throwing the mercantile in his face at the get go is no way to provide that. It also demonstrates a lack of trust at the exact moment that trust ought to be established.

 

Also, it makes it very hard for him to tip for a good encounter. I say by not pre-charging you'll make more in tips than you'll lose in deadbeats.

 

Every business knows it'll lose something in the form of shoplifting. We're no different, it's part of running a biz.

 

That being said, if the guy has given every warning sign, I think it's ok to very occasionally request funds upfront, or decline the booking altogether. If you nonetheless decide to make it a regular practice, you ought at least warn the client ahead of time. Surprises aren't good.

 

It also implies that you often have trouble getting paid: i.e. you're not that good of an escort. No reason to put that question in his mind.

 

My rambling thoughts...

 

Kevin Slater

 

I really value all your thread posts on any of the threads. I always think and reflect whenever you give advice to anyone (in a good way)! Your rambling thoughts are gold for those that can see the value in your words. Where do I send my payment to you for my invoice! Haha

[+ saminseattle]

Sorry this encounter didn’t work out for you Hunter, though it sounds like there were some warnings signs with the prospective client, since he was an hour late, etc., so maybe it was for the best.

 

While I am personally skeptical of the payment upfront (or even show the $ upfront) approach, I also think it is completely your prerogative about how to run your business. I’m not sure that one client cancelling in a year justifies changing your approach if it has otherwise worked well for you. Also, for cross-reference, there was another thread touching on this issue with a variety of perspectives that might be worth a read: http://www.companyofmen.org/threads/last-minute-cash-upfront-requests.111660/

[josh282282]

Hunter,

 

You risk losing good clients who know better than to pay up front.

Listen to the wise clients on this forum: they don't pay up front.

Neither do I.

 

BTW, the last time you went to that classy, upscale restaurant, did they ask you to pay upfront?

[hunterlee]

Sorry this encounter didn’t work out for you Hunter, though it sounds like there were some warnings signs with the prospective client, since he was an hour late, etc., so maybe it was for the best.

 

While I am personally skeptical of the payment upfront (or even show the $ upfront) approach, I also think it is completely your prerogative about how to run your business. I’m not sure that one client cancelling in a year justifies changing your approach if it has otherwise worked well for you. Also, for cross-reference, there was another thread touching on this issue with a variety of perspectives that might be worth a read: http://www.companyofmen.org/threads/last-minute-cash-upfront-requests.111660/

 

Thank you, I read that thread, it had lots of information!

[+ harey]

I can understand your caution about first meetings/incalls, but wouldn't feel comfortable paying upfront. That would ruin the mood for me and make it hard to relax. I view escorts as human beings first rather than vending machines. Trust and respect on both sides or it just doesn't work. If an escort tried to "make" me pay in advance, I'd leave.

[hunterlee]

Hunter,

 

You risk losing good clients who know better than to pay up front.

Listen to the wise clients on this forum: they don't pay up front.

Neither do I.

 

BTW, the last time you went to that classy, upscale restaurant, did they ask you to pay upfront?

 

I agree however the comparison of our work versus the work of a restaurant are relatively not on same scale.

 

I will have to do a reward and cost analysis to determine which structure is most fitting for me.

[hunterlee]

I can understand your caution about first meetings/incalls, but wouldn't feel comfortable paying upfront. That would ruin the mood for me and make it hard to relax. I view escorts as human beings first rather than vending machines. Trust and respect on both sides or it just doesn't work. If an escort tried to "make" me pay in advance, I'd leave.

 

Insightful. The metaphor with the vending machines was a different way now I can look at it.

[hunterlee]

I will apologize ahead of time for all the alerts people are receiving from me responding to every response.

 

I want to make sure that everyones response is appreciated and understood.

[bigvalboy]

I would not pay an escort up front. Period. I hope you at least inform the potential client before he books of your requirement for payment up when hosting.

 

That said, if you have misgivings about a client, you might want to consider not seeing that client.

 

+1

[Rudynate]

This is the first time I've had a client leave my incall because I wanted my payment upfront. I might be rough around the edges sometimes but I am quite logical.

 

I'm open to constructive criticism and opinion.

 

Very seedy practice. From the standpoint of strict logic, it might make sense. This is a question of soft skills. I am sure you appreciate the importance of soft skills in your profession. One of those soft skills is handling the money question with delicacy, while watching out for yourself.

 

I understand your concern about getting paid, but you have to rethink the upfront payment. You're going to alienate a lot of desirable clients.

[hunterlee]

Very seedy practice. From the standpoint of strict logic, it might make sense. This is a question of soft skills. I am sure you appreciate the importance of soft skills in your profession. One of those soft skills is handling the money question with delicacy, while watching out for yourself.

 

I understand your concern about getting paid, but you have to rethink the upfront payment. You're going to alienate a lot of desirable clients.

 

I agree with the soft skills.

 

I will have to reflect.

[instudiocity]

This is the first time I've had a client leave my incall because I wanted my payment upfront. I might be rough around the edges sometimes but I am quite logical.

I'd pay you up front, round back, between the ears or between the thighs if within the time I cross your threshold to your request you demonstrated to me that I was going to receive all of you and all what we'd discussed in setting up the appointment.

 

But your wallet would be thicker if I paid you after I've finished collecting all of you and what we'd discussed in setting up our appointment.

 

It's never a question of what most clients can afford so much as the question of just what the escort is selling/willing to fulfill.

 

From your posts on the forum, I'd give you a shag, but prepaid? That could be disappointing for both of us.

[LADoug1]

I'm not a fan of charging upfront. The client is hiring for a fantasy; throwing the mercantile in his face at the get go is no way to provide that. It also demonstrates a lack of trust at the exact moment that trust ought to be established.

 

Also, it makes it very hard for him to tip for a good encounter. I say by not pre-charging you'll make more in tips than you'll lose in deadbeats.

 

Every business knows it'll lose something in the form of shoplifting. We're no different, it's part of running a biz.

 

That being said, if the guy has given every warning sign, I think it's ok to very occasionally request funds upfront, or decline the booking altogether. If you nonetheless decide to make it a regular practice, you ought at least warn the client ahead of time. Surprises aren't good.

 

It also implies that you often have trouble getting paid: i.e. you're not that good of an escort. No reason to put that question in his mind.

 

My rambling thoughts...

 

Kevin Slater

 

Kevin-You can "ramble " (NOT!) anytime you want. Your posts are always right on target. I hope readers pay attention and learn from your wisdom.

[510guy]

Hunter, as someone who has seen you before I would have been upset if you asked me to pay upfront when I got there. This is probably a new policy for you as I don't think it was on your ads or website when I saw you late last year.

This was at at your hotel in SF so not sure if it applied. You can't expect a client to read every little detail on an ad or website. If you state upfront when booking that is another thing and up to client to proceed.

Yes, always a risk of having a flake but on clients side always a risk for client too. If I went into a restaurant and they said I need to hand over $30 before eating I would be out the door since that is not the norm.

Yes, your place and your rules but risk having a ticked off client.

[+ bashful]

It could be your client didn't know about your policy for payment up front. I didn't remember seeing it in your ad, and not until I had looked at your website a few times did I see that requirement buried and briefly stated in the FAQs. Clients also use the initial meet and greet time to vet whether to move forward.

 

Just from a personal perspective, someone who is new to hiring, older, and not exactly proud of current body, a request to pay up front just feeds my insecurities in that, but for the fact that I am paying you, you would not (insert the appropriate verb) me.

[nynakedtop]

Easy answer -

 

1. You request payment up front

2. I politely smile

3. I turn around and quietly exit

4. You never hear from me again and I harbor negative feelings about you forever.

 

So sounds like a lose-lose situation to me.

[hunterlee]

I'd pay you up front, round back, between the ears or between the thighs if within the time I cross your threshold to your request you demonstrated to me that I was going to receive all of you and all what we'd discussed in setting up the appointment.

 

But your wallet would be thicker if I paid you after I've finished collecting all of you and what we'd discussed in setting up our appointment.

 

It's never a question of what most clients can afford so much as the question of just what the escort is selling/willing to fulfill.

 

From your posts on the forum, I'd give you a shag, but prepaid? That could be disappointing for both of us.

 

Input appericated and noted.