One Former Working Man's Discouraging Words

[MikeBauer]

A very good friend of mine recently started dating a younger man named Mark, who had worked his way through university by escorting.

 

When I mentioned to Mark that I had recently contacted a working guy for the very first time, he became very animated and told me that I should think twice about repeating the experience.

 

According to this young man, escorting is a form of abuse that the escorts force themselves to endure because of economic hardship, or because of unresolved emotional scars. He said that escorts "always" feel denigrated by the experience, and that no matter what they say to the contrary, they secretly resent and even actively dislike the clients who hire them and therefore treat them like objects.

 

While I would never discount any one individual's personal reaction to this line of work, I find it hard to believe that you can paint all escorts' experience and every escort/client interaction with the same broad, negative stroke.

 

It would be different if the escort were unwillingly coerced into escorting, or if the clients were literally abusive, physically or mentally.

 

From what I see here and in "real life," however, the dynamics of male-male escorting are not the same as female-male escorting, particularly when the women are being managed by pimps. The (admittedly few) men I know who have used escorting as a tool to pay their way through school or to resolve debts, have had a broad spectrum of experiences, depending on how individual clients treated them. A lot of those experiences have been positive, some neutral, and some bad. I know a few cases of former escorts and their clients who have developed good, friendly relationships. Heck, some escorts even publicly say they enjoy their work and meeting new people.

 

For escorts who have otherwise satisfying lives, and who escort for whatever reason(s), surely they do not ALL feel abused and denigrated by their clients.

 

What are your thoughts on this admittedly-sensitive subject?

[TruHart1]

Your friend's statement seems much more like the exception to the rule among escorts I've hired. I'm a client who has been happily hiring a majority of excellent escorts for over five years. In the end, it all boils down to this. Escorts are just people and clients are just people. If an escort is only in it for the money, he is very unlikely to last long or be able to maintain client satisfaction. The same holds true for any escort who hates or resents his clients because he feels misused as a sex object. Just as with any job, there will be those who aren't able to enjoy or even handle the job. I have to say from personal experience though, that I've only met 3 or 4 guys out of 50 or more who seem like their attitudes may be like that or who fail to be committed to making me (as a paying client) satisfied. If I find an escort I like I will hire him again and again. I've even become very good friends with a few really special guys over the years!

 

TruHart1

[nycguy]

According to this young man, escorting is a form of abuse that the escorts force themselves to endure because of economic hardship, or because of unresolved emotional scars. He said that escorts "always" feel denigrated by the experience, and that no matter what they say to the contrary, they secretly resent and even actively dislike the clients who hire them and therefore treat them like objects

 

That's bullshit babble. You could just as easily turn it around and say clients secretly resent themselves. It isn't the world's oldest profession because one or both of the two parties involved have deep, secret psychological scars. It's a transaction that is as simple as giving or taking loads. Basically all men are sex pigs whether they are escorts or clients or tops or bottoms and that is the only psychology at play. I think the young man needs some cock in his mouth to shut him up.

[Rudynate]

A very good friend of mine recently started dating a younger man named Mark, who had worked his way through university by escorting.

 

When I mentioned to Mark that I had recently contacted a working guy for the very first time, he became very animated and told me that I should think twice about repeating the experience.

 

According to this young man, escorting is a form of abuse that the escorts force themselves to endure because of economic hardship, or because of unresolved emotional scars. He said that escorts "always" feel denigrated by the experience, and that no matter what they say to the contrary, they secretly resent and even actively dislike the clients who hire them and therefore treat them like objects.

 

While I would never discount any one individual's personal reaction to this line of work, I find it hard to believe that you can paint all escorts' experience and every escort/client interaction with the same broad, negative stroke.

 

It would be different if the escort were unwillingly coerced into escorting, or if the clients were literally abusive, physically or mentally.

 

From what I see here and in "real life," however, the dynamics of male-male escorting are not the same as female-male escorting, particularly when the women are being managed by pimps. The (admittedly few) men I know who have used escorting as a tool to pay their way through school or to resolve debts, have had a broad spectrum of experiences, depending on how individual clients treated them. A lot of those experiences have been positive, some neutral, and some bad. I know a few cases of former escorts and their clients who have developed good, friendly relationships. Heck, some escorts even publicly say they enjoy their work and meeting new people.

 

For escorts who have otherwise satisfying lives, and who escort for whatever reason(s), surely they do not ALL feel abused and denigrated by their clients.

 

What are your thoughts on this admittedly-sensitive subject?

 

 

Lot's of people feel denigrated by showing up for work in an office at 9AM every day. Are they being abused?

[jjkrkwood]

Everything in life is a CHOICE, and there is always at least one alternative......

[mattr]

He clearly did not want to escort and felt denigrated by the experience. He however does not speak for all escorts any more than those folks who find escorting a fulfilling career speak for all escorts. Sounds like he may have found a sugar daddy and apparently that has not compromised his integrity and self worth... LOL

[+ Eric Hassan]

A very good friend of mine recently started dating a younger man named Mark, who had worked his way through university by escorting.

 

When I mentioned to Mark that I had recently contacted a working guy for the very first time, he became very animated and told me that I should think twice about repeating the experience.

 

According to this young man, escorting is a form of abuse that the escorts force themselves to endure because of economic hardship, or because of unresolved emotional scars. He said that escorts "always" feel denigrated by the experience, and that no matter what they say to the contrary, they secretly resent and even actively dislike the clients who hire them and therefore treat them like objects.

 

While I would never discount any one individual's personal reaction to this line of work, I find it hard to believe that you can paint all escorts' experience and every escort/client interaction with the same broad, negative stroke.

 

It would be different if the escort were unwillingly coerced into escorting, or if the clients were literally abusive, physically or mentally.

 

From what I see here and in "real life," however, the dynamics of male-male escorting are not the same as female-male escorting, particularly when the women are being managed by pimps. The (admittedly few) men I know who have used escorting as a tool to pay their way through school or to resolve debts, have had a broad spectrum of experiences, depending on how individual clients treated them. A lot of those experiences have been positive, some neutral, and some bad. I know a few cases of former escorts and their clients who have developed good, friendly relationships. Heck, some escorts even publicly say they enjoy their work and meeting new people.

 

For escorts who have otherwise satisfying lives, and who escort for whatever reason(s), surely they do not ALL feel abused and denigrated by their clients.

 

What are your thoughts on this admittedly-sensitive subject?

 

I think if you were to buy that bullshit, you may as well buy that all black men have big penises, all gay men are pedophiles, all lesbians are angry vegetarians, all Arabs are terrorists, etc. I'm sorry for your friend that he has that experience and impression of escorting.

[jjkrkwood]

I think if you were to buy that bullshit, you may as well buy that all black men have big penises, all gay men are pedophiles, all lesbians are angry vegetarians, all Arabs are terrorists, etc. I'm sorry for your friend that he has that experience and impression of escorting.

 

They don't ???

 

http://www.dennis-yu.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/burst-your-bubble.jpg

[mike carey]

I think if you were to buy that bullshit

I agree with the consensus in this thread and in the forum more broadly that most male escorts are quite comfortable with their role. For the record, despite having never engaged with female sex workers I doubt that most of them feel compelled to engage in the work, but that is a separate issue. I don't have personal experience with many male escorts but none of those I have met gave any hint that they were uncomfortable with it. Also those who chat here give no indication that they are reluctant in their role.

 

That said, I don't question that the man the OP quoted would feel that way. I sympathise with him but don't ascribe his feelings to the other guys I've seen here. (If @Eric Hassan is an unwilling participant here I would be most surprised, to say the least!!!)

[Reluctant Daddy]

Lot's of people feel denigrated by showing up for work in an office at 9AM every day. Are they being abused?

 

Yes. Please. Help.

[Rudynate]

Yes. Please. Help.

 

It's an open secret that the primary HR function is to help people feel good about being exploited.

[+ Eric Hassan]

(If @Eric Hassan is an unwilling participant here I would be most surprised, to say the least!!!)

 

I am a VERY willing participant. I am completely in love with what I do.

[mattr]

I think if you were to buy that bullshit, you may as well buy that all black men have big penises, all gay men are pedophiles, all lesbians are angry vegetarians, all Arabs are terrorists, etc. I'm sorry for your friend that he has that experience and impression of escorting.

 

Well all lesbians used to be angry vegetarians... now of course they are incensed vegans...

[BasketBaller]

I've always hired escorts whose reviews and communication made them sound friendly and open-minded. So while of course it could be an act, all of them have seemed happy and comfortable to be doing what they do. I doubt all of them are such good actors they could pull that off if they were actually miserable about it.

[jjkrkwood]

Well all lesbians used to be angry vegetarians... now of course they are incensed vegans...

 

 

Yes even their Birkenstocks are VEGAN.....

[Kevin Slater]

I've always hired escorts whose reviews and communication made them sound friendly and open-minded. So while of course it could be an act, all of them have seemed happy and comfortable to be doing what they do. I doubt all of them are such good actors they could pull that off if they were actually miserable about it.

 

My drug addled pimp beats the shit out of me if I don't pull it off.

 

Kevin Slater

[BasketBaller]

My drug addled pimp beats the shit out of me if I don't pull it off.

 

Kevin Slater

 

Well I guess if the motivation is strong enough...

[gezellig4u]

Lot's of people feel denigrated by showing up for work in an office at 9AM every day. Are they being abused?

I would love to stroll in at the leisurely hour of 9h00. I arrive at 7h30! :-)

[Kippy]

A Debbie Downer topic but enjoyed the attempted rebound!

 

Peace,

 

Kipp

[jjkrkwood]

Lot's of people feel denigrated by showing up for work in an office at 9AM every day. Are they being abused?

 

Perhaps they FEEL abused BUT they need to pay the rent !

[+ saminseattle]

Lot's of people feel denigrated by showing up for work in an office at 9AM every day. Are they being abused?

 

Indeed. Many people have jobs they dislike but that they nevertheless choose to do in exchange for compensation. Having said that, some people’s options are so few and situations are so desperate, that notions of freedom of choice start to look illusory and more like a rationalization to excuse taking advantage of someone. Personally, I think it is ethically problematic to engage someone who appears to have a drug addiction problem, mental health issue, or to be living day-to-day; likewise, it is questionable to push someone’s boundaries, around safety or otherwise, based on their perceived economic vulnerability. But if these kinds of concerns aren't an issue, if someone is an adult, knows what he is doing, and chooses to be a sex worker because he thinks it is the best option for him, who is anyone else to say that he is wrong and they know better?

[+ nycman]

I bet Mark sucked as an escort....and not in the good way!

[marylander1940]

A very good friend of mine recently started dating a younger man named Mark, who had worked his way through university by escorting.

 

When I mentioned to Mark that I had recently contacted a working guy for the very first time, he became very animated and told me that I should think twice about repeating the experience.

 

According to this young man, escorting is a form of abuse that the escorts force themselves to endure because of economic hardship, or because of unresolved emotional scars. He said that escorts "always" feel denigrated by the experience, and that no matter what they say to the contrary, they secretly resent and even actively dislike the clients who hire them and therefore treat them like objects.

 

While I would never discount any one individual's personal reaction to this line of work, I find it hard to believe that you can paint all escorts' experience and every escort/client interaction with the same broad, negative stroke.

 

It would be different if the escort were unwillingly coerced into escorting, or if the clients were literally abusive, physically or mentally.

 

From what I see here and in "real life," however, the dynamics of male-male escorting are not the same as female-male escorting, particularly when the women are being managed by pimps. The (admittedly few) men I know who have used escorting as a tool to pay their way through school or to resolve debts, have had a broad spectrum of experiences, depending on how individual clients treated them. A lot of those experiences have been positive, some neutral, and some bad. I know a few cases of former escorts and their clients who have developed good, friendly relationships. Heck, some escorts even publicly say they enjoy their work and meeting new people.

 

For escorts who have otherwise satisfying lives, and who escort for whatever reason(s), surely they do not ALL feel abused and denigrated by their clients.

 

What are your thoughts on this admittedly-sensitive subject?

 

I think when he said:

"According to this young man, escorting is a form of abuse that the escorts force themselves to endure because of economic hardship, or because of unresolved emotional scars. He said that escorts "always" feel denigrated by the experience, and that no matter what they say to the contrary, they secretly resent and even actively dislike the clients who hire them and therefore treat them like objects"

 

Sounds like a straight (for real) escort who hates what he does and escorts just to avoid working at a McDonald's or because he failed in becoming a model/movie star... I know a lot of gay escorts who LOVE what they do and enjoy being hired and I don't mean only because of the money.

[marylander1940]

Lot's of people feel denigrated by showing up for work in an office at 9AM every day. Are they being abused?

 

Usually they don't, unless they're Trump's supporters and they hate their blue collar jobs because they're victims of Mexican, Muslims and blacks, they wish/deserve they were billionaires (or at least millionaires) with several cars, living in a city instead of a trailer park and having a trophy wife instead of the cow they married at 17 shot-gun wedding style.

[MikeBauer]

I appreciate all the replies.

 

I don't really know Mark very well. I just met him recently, when he started dating my friend John.

 

After discussing this whole situation with John, I have learned that Mark had originally tried to pay for school by working in a retail clothing establishment, and then by working in a restaurant. He loathed both jobs, claiming they were akin to slave labor, and he found dealing with customers intolerable because they thought that they could "order him around like a slave." He hoped escorting would be an easier way of making fast cash, but was appalled when all sorts of "trolls" wanted party favors, so to speak, just because they lavished money and gifts on him. He could tolerate spending time with them, but resented the idea of physical contact, and worked hard to avoid it as much as possible.

 

Clearly, he was unclear on the concept, and to me comes across as something of a clueless, entitled nitwit.

 

It's better for all concerned that he's out of the escorting game. Potential clients would be better off seeking out an agreeable hottie like Eric Hassan or one of the other fine gentlemen from this forum.