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I did it this morning! Twice.

purplekow

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purplekow Grand Master

+ purplekow

Posted
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As some of you know I have not been feeling well. While I am improved, I am still not well. I had a difficult night last night and sleep was elusive. I decided to do something that will usually put me right to sleep.........

laundry.

 

As part of this, I undertook the quadruple axel of laundry, folding the fitted bed sheet. Videos have been made, articles have been written, speeches have been given about the easy and fool proof methods of fitted sheet folding. I have never been able to accomplish this feat despite numerous tries.

 

This morning, with minimal sleep and a persistent hacking cough, it did not figure to be my day. I approached the dryer full of laundry and emptied it. I warmed up with towel folding. Easy and satisfying (like Steven Kessler). I moved onto a bit of a challenge, the one man king size flat sheet fold. This fold is more a matter of persistence and endurance than anything else. Two king size sheets neatly folded with minimal distress.

 

I took a break.

 

I put away the folded laundry.

 

I made a cup of coffee and plotted out my attempt at the elusive one man fold of the king sized fitted sheet.

 

I took a couple of hits off my inhaler and approached the folding area. Methodically finding the corner pockets, I managed to get the sheet hanging loosely between my arms as each hand held up a corner. I then worked my way down and found the opposite corners and paired them in my hand. The next move is crucial. The exchange fold in which one hand has all four corners and the other hand has maneuvered to hold the middle section. After making it past that crucial maneuver, the success of the fold rides on the next critical step: The elimination of the redundant fitted edged to make an untangled rectangle.

 

This step requires folding over the top section so that the fitted section lies within the rectangle of the main sheet and folding the edge in to form a rectangle. This is usually the step that confounds me. The top never folds in correctly. The sheet seems to be able to tangle itself without any movement from me and I find myself frustrated and throwing the sheet into a ball and stuffing it into the linen closet. Usually it is one sheet to wind, but not today. No not today.

 

The top practically folded itself and seemingly dragged the fitted edge into a perfect position. The corners opened themselves to my eager touch and I was able to bend it gently but firmly into the position I had be aching to achieve. The prelude to satisfaction built up inside me.

 

Could this be it?

 

Was this really going to happen?

 

Would I finally reach the Nirvana of which other spoke so smugly.

 

A fold.

 

A tuck.

 

A slow smooth ride of my hand over the silky softness and I was done.

 

Years of frustration unleashed in a powerful yell of euphoria. My GOD. Ecstasy. Pristine. Looking beautiful and totally restored. My partner lay before me. Perfection. I dropped down on my bed. Today was going to be the day I turned the corner. Success was a matter of planning and diligence. No sheet was going to get the best of me again and no cough would slow my progress into the rest of my life.

 

I took a deep coughless breath and grabbed the second sheet. It never stood a chance. It surrendered to my every move. It moved in any direction I preferred and in the end, I stood over it, both of us totally satisfied.

 

In case anyone was curious about the details of my previous 300 thread count thread about not coming due to illness. Mike Gaite was here over the weekend. I think you all can figure out why I had two sets of sheets to launder.

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Phil_musc Mentor

Phil_musc

Posted
Posted

I think, PK, you should do a PowerPoint on this technique of yours (sheet-folding, I mean. . . ). I've always been bested in this challenge, but your posting gives me new hope and the desire to see if I too might rise to the Nirvana you describe. (Mike Gaite's presence wouldn't hurt either)

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UnstableAtom Rookie

UnstableAtom

Posted
Posted
Atom, that is one hot profile picture. Is that you are just some random hot guy?

 

Lol Thanks!

It's the first thing that cahme up in my mind when looking for a new picture. Captain Atom from Arrow and Flash TV series or Ray Palmer. I don't think I am ready to reveal myself to the public.

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Nvr2Thick Grand Master

Nvr2Thick

Posted
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Years of frustration unleashed in a powerful yell of euphoria. My GOD. Ecstasy. Pristine. Looking beautiful and totally restored. My partner lay before me. Perfection. I dropped down on my bed. Today was going to be the day I turned the corner. Success was a matter of planning and diligence. No sheet was going to get the best of me again and no cough would slow my progress into the rest of my life.

 

I took a deep coughless breath and grabbed the second sheet. It never stood a chance. It surrendered to my every move. It moved in any direction I preferred and in the end, I stood over it, both of us totally satisfied.

 

 

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Truereview Grand Master

+ Truereview

Posted
Posted
Atom, that is one hot profile picture. Is that you are just some random hot guy?

I also suggest you watch DC Comics Legends of Tomorrow while you fold laundry, Brandon Routh plays Atom - the gentleman on our beloved @UnstableAtom 's avatar. Brandon is ah former model and a product of the wonderful Midwest- I think Iowa. There are some other really hunky super hero studs in the show. In the meantime congrahts on the folding achievements and weekend delights!

 

http://www.instructables.com/image/FYUQDXZFG8LJH2I/How-To-Fold-A-Fitted-Sheet.jpg

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Lookin Grand Master

Lookin

Posted
Posted
Usually it is one sheet to wind, but not today.

 

Try doing it when you're three sheets to the wind. http://www.boytoy.com/forums/public/style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif

 

http://llcdn.listelist.com/listeliststatic/2015/10/gottywin-lannister-hayalet.jpg

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UnstableAtom Rookie

UnstableAtom

Posted
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I also suggest you watch DC Comics Legends of Tomorrow while you fold laundry, Brandon Routh plays Atom - the gentleman on our beloved @UnstableAtom 's avatar. Brandon is ah former model and a product of the wonderful Midwest- I think Iowa. There are some other really hunky super hero studs in the show. In the meantime congrahts on the folding achievements and weekend delights!

 

Wasn't too interested in Legends Of Tomorrow, felt like they just threw in supporting characters with a weird plot line. Flahsh and Ahrrow are the only one's for me!

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azdr0710 Grand Master

+ azdr0710

Posted
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great report, PK....I myself have never folded a fitted sheet in years....on bed linen washing day, my sheets go from bed to washer to dryer and back to bed within hours (I don't have a second set of sheets for my primary bed)

 

over 14 million youtube views!

 

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azdr0710 Grand Master

+ azdr0710

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I'm adding you to my Christmas list..;)

 

 

ahh, my plan is working perfectly

 

http://images-cdn.moviepilot.com/images/c_limit,h_438,w_438/t_mp_quality/gmfsrnxfn7ua31qdza6z/stop-panicking-mr-burns-is-not-leaving-the-simpsons-excellent-495170.jpg

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Truereview Grand Master

+ Truereview

Posted
Posted
ahh, my plan is working perfectly

 

http://images-cdn.moviepilot.com/images/c_limit,h_438,w_438/t_mp_quality/gmfsrnxfn7ua31qdza6z/stop-panicking-mr-burns-is-not-leaving-the-simpsons-excellent-495170.jpg

Before i order them, King Or Queen?

 

http://lh3.ggpht.com/__zoKJ77EvEc/Su00UNYJD2I/AAAAAAAABf8/L5j3wdOCIeU/bedsheets%20%286%29%5B2%5D.jpg?imgmax=800

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