I am not coming.

[+ purplekow]

I believe I posted a while back that I was feeling unwell. While it was not a major illness, three weeks, several days of fever to 1o3, a few drenching sweats and body aches to beat the band, I am still feeling under the weather. Today my dogs were barking and outside my window was a dog. I went out and corralled him. Collar but no tags. After about 30 minutes of walking with him followed by a call to the neighborhood tree, Murphy the dog was reunited with his owner Neighborhood tree is a set up I found out about today in which the neighbors of my development of about 150 homes, have texts to others in the neighborhood and should a local event occur the neighbors, text out to the tree. All tree members get the text. More efficient than tribal drums. That is how Murphy's companions found me.

Well, after walking around with Murphy for 30 minutes, I was exhausted and had to take a nap. After 45 minutes, I got up and showered.

At this point, I realized that I had not had any kind of sexual release for more than 3 weeks. More startling, I had no desire to try. I usually am a "if I think about it, I want it" kind of guy. So I believe, this 3 weeks is a personal record for celibacy.

I am expecting to return to form once the illness is over, but I must admit, I am tempted to try some self gratification even though I have no desire for such.

So three questions:

 

How long have you gone with out any satisfaction? The old Master of His Domain Question.

Does your neighborhood have a text tree and are you in favor of it?

Anyone else love the name Murphy for a dog?

[+ honcho]

0.) I'm unhappily surprised that you're still unwell;

You have my most sincere wishes for a speedier complete recovery.

 

1.) I honestly can't remember the last time I've gone more than 3 days without squirting; it's been years.

I will intentionally go two days without, in order to have more stamina and stiffness to satisfy a weekly meeting with a special friend who wants to go for a ride, but after the first time I'm going stir-crazy.

 

2.) I have no idea if my neighborhood has a text tree.

There is a loose social organization for the "Buena-Vista-North" area, but I'm not a member. Given that my landlord of 31 years has told us he would like us to leave by july 1st, there's no point in joining now.

3.) I think Murphy is a fabulous name for a canine friend.

[big-n-tall]

No health expert here, but usually after a drastic illness (i.e. flu), a change in diet, etc etc... I lose all sexual appetite. Maybe it's just your body still trying to recover, especially if you're still not at full capacity or back to your normal/usual state of being.

 

As for going without self gratification... about 3 weeks before a meeting. A few guys have asked me to hold off pleasing myself because it apparently turns them on. I've been told I get a bit more aggressive and definitely cum buckets more. And the more I hold off the more times I can orgasm in a session. Some people really get off making people cum.

 

I don't think my neighborhood has a phone tree.

 

Murphy isn't a bad name, but I keep thinking Robocop.

[+ Gar1eth]

No phone tree. Unfortunately I've probably gone at least a month or more without cuming in the past. When I was younger it usually only happened when I was having an acute flare-up of my chronic pelvic pain syndrome/chronic prostatitis/interstitial cystitis/no one knows quite what the heck it is. Cuming definitely didn't help the pain and might have made it worse. Now long stretches without happen routinely.

 

Last summer I think I went 2 or 3 months without cuming. There were multiple reasons-I couldn't find anyone who wanted to 'play', if I did by the grace of G-d find someone, I didn't want to have just cum, and 9 times out of 10 these days I can't get hard by masturbation. Usually I don't even get morning woodies anymore unless maybe if I've used Viagra recently.

 

Gman

[+ glennnn]

Get well, soon, Kow!

I live in a small town where everyone knows everyone else. The phone tree is the one, large local market. It takes hours to buy a gallon of milk, because you see and talk to so many people. We also utilize Facebook to keep in touch.

 

My libido is very low. If I am not approached sexually, or watching porn, I go for weeks without cumming. I think it is the result of years and years of appetite suppression due to being closeted. One of you here has a quote about this as a footnote to your postings.

 

Murphy is a great name. What breed or mix of dog is he?

 

Kow, what was the diagnosis for your illness?

[+ Funguy]

Sure it's not Zika?

[+ Charlie]

Are you treating yourself? Perhaps it is time to consult someone else rather than trying to "heal thyself."

 

When I was younger, I rarely went more than 24 hours without cuming. Now I can sometimes go for weeks without even thinking about it, but when I do, it seems to turn on a stimulus that takes a couple of days to turn off again.

 

When I was in college, we had a message tree on campus (handwritten notes on paper), but we have nothing of the sort--botanical or electronic--in my neighborhood.

 

Murphy is a fine name for dog. A dozen years ago, we went to dinner at a gay restaurant with a friend, and were served by a fine-looking waiter who said his name was Shelby. A few days later, our friend adopted a shelter dog, and of course named him Shelby.

[+ WmClarke]

I was once on Welbutrin and didn't come for months. Worse, I didn't care. That shit is awful.

 

My libido is very low. If I am not approached sexually, or watching porn, I go for weeks without cumming. I think it is the result of years and years of appetite suppression due to being closeted. One of you here has a quote about this as a footnote to your postings.

Maybe it's me.

 

"I suppose that a lifetime spent hiding one's erotic truth could have a cumulative renunciatory effect. Sexual shame is in itself a kind of death." - Alison Bechdel, Fun Home.

 

Or maybe not.

 

 

More importantly, I hope you get better soon, PK! Definitely time to see a doc or a different doc. I just got properly diagnosed after six weeks suffering through a sinus infection my doctor thought was something else. Yay for the ENT.

 

 

And Murphy is a great name for a dog!

[sincitymix]

I believe I posted a while back that I was feeling unwell. While it was not a major illness, three weeks, several days of fever to 1o3, a few drenching sweats and body aches to beat the band, I am still feeling under the weather. Today my dogs were barking and outside my window was a dog. I went out and corralled him. Collar but no tags. After about 30 minutes of walking with him followed by a call to the neighborhood tree, Murphy the dog was reunited with his owner Neighborhood tree is a set up I found out about today in which the neighbors of my development of about 150 homes, have texts to others in the neighborhood and should a local event occur the neighbors, text out to the tree. All tree members get the text. More efficient than tribal drums. That is how Murphy's companions found me.

Well, after walking around with Murphy for 30 minutes, I was exhausted and had to take a nap. After 45 minutes, I got up and showered.

At this point, I realized that I had not had any kind of sexual release for more than 3 weeks. More startling, I had no desire to try. I usually am a "if I think about it, I want it" kind of guy. So I believe, this 3 weeks is a personal record for celibacy.

I am expecting to return to form once the illness is over, but I must admit, I am tempted to try some self gratification even though I have no desire for such.

So three questions:

 

How long have you gone with out any satisfaction? The old Master of His Domain Question.

Does your neighborhood have a text tree and are you in favor of it?

Anyone else love the name Murphy for a dog?

I would be really concerned over the drenching sweat and the 103 degree fevers.

[+ Oliver]

... I am still feeling under the weather ...

Get yourself better! You have somewhere to be in 5 weeks.

[+ glennnn]

I was once on Welbutrin and didn't come for months. Worse, I didn't care. That shit is awful.

 

 

Maybe it's me.

 

"I suppose that a lifetime spent hiding one's erotic truth could have a cumulative renunciatory effect. Sexual shame is in itself a kind of death." - Alison Bechdel, Fun Home.

 

Or maybe not

 

 

Yes, it is you. A very sad, and profound statement!

 

Get yourself better! You have somewhere to be in 5 weeks.

 

No fun without you, Kow!!!!!!

[+ Truereview]

Judging by the title of the thread, I though PK was going to say he was skipping the PS weekend. Thank goodness, false alarm.

1. After my partner died, I think I went about six months without cumming. I couldn't even touch myself. Thank goodness for a kind, gentle escort who brought me out of my walking-dead stupor. Incidentally, I didn't hire him, he simply knocked on my door one day and said: hi, my name X. I'm here for you, your friends are worried. I'd love to spend sometime with you. The rest is obvious. I still see him.
   
2. No text tree in my neighborhood. Actually no sense of community in neighborhood at all. Kinda bummer. Folks buy here for the privacy. I bought in bc I fell in love with the house & view, but I miss knowing those around me.
   
3. I feel giving a dog a common human name lacks creativity. I respect it, but not my cup of tea. I have two fish, their names are bait & hook. I have 3 dogs, their names are Nacho, Chip, and Salsa. I have a cat, his name Gato.
   

I guess I'm saying: love your house, know your neighbors, be creative, and by all means, let's make sure Kow gets milked.

[marylander1940]

No phone tree. Unfortunately I've probably gone at least a month or more without cuming in the past. When I was younger it usually only happened when I was having an acute flare-up of my chronic pelvic pain syndrome/chronic prostatitis/interstitial cystitis/no one knows quite what the heck it is. Cuming definitely didn't help the pain and might have made it worse. Now long stretches without happen routinely.

 

Last summer I think I went 2 or 3 months without cuming. There were multiple reasons-I couldn't find anyone who wanted to 'play', if I did by the grace of G-d find someone, I didn't want to have just cum, and 9 times out of 10 these days I can't get hard by masturbation. Usually I don't even get morning woodies anymore unless maybe if I've used Viagra recently.

 

Gman

 

2 or 3 months without hiring? Damn, and I thought I was on of the unwealthiests guys on hire barely hiring once a month for just 1 hour...

 

Do you make sure to take Viagra when you hire?

[+ Gar1eth]

I was once on Welbutrin and didn't come for months. Worse, I didn't care. That shit is awful.

 

 

That's interesting. One of the marketing points about Welbutrin (aka Zyban or bupropion) is that it is not supposed to cause sexual side effects, i.e. male impotence. I'm not sure how it would have affected me as I never got up to the maintenance dose. It gave me really bad headaches. The dose I was on never did anything for my mood or attention span (it's a 4th line drug for ADHD).

 

Another antidepressant that supposedly doesn't have sexual side effects is Viibryd. But the FDA didn't think the proof was strong enough to let the company actually label it that way. The mental health professionals will still tell you that it has no sexual side effects as I'm sure the drug reps always bring up the studies that show this. However for me, the studies were wrong. The effect wasn't as bad as that of the older SSRIs. But while masturbation was possible, the erections felt weak and didn't last as long.

 

Gman

[gallahadesquire]

I went for two months once ... but I was deathly ill in hospital and rehab, and my climax hurt like hell.

 

I hope you are recovering, PK, and I second the idea of maybe seeing a doctor.

 

Murphy's a great name for a dog!

 

No text tree here. It was a bitch when my cat went missing. I got in trouble with the local housing authority (public housing, across the street).

[+ WmClarke]

That's interesting. One of the marketing points about Welbutrin (aka Zyban or bupropion) is that it is not supposed to cause sexual side effects, i.e. male impotence.

Fascinating.

 

My psychiatrist told me that impotence and decreased sexual desire were known side effects. This was 15-16 years ago. Seems their marketing has moved out of the honesty phase and into the make money at any cost phase.

[mattr]

I suffer bouts of anxiety/depression/insomnia during which I lose all interest in sex (and most everything else). I hide it pretty well which takes a toll on me and compounds the effects of the insomnia. Pretending everything is fine is exhausting. These bouts can last a few days to a few weeks and sometimes I need medication (Xanax/Librax/Ambien) to get through it. I am going through one right now and have decided to consult a psychologist this time to see if we can figure out the triggers and not rely on medication to get me through...

[+ sync]

As I have aged, my libido has relaxed accordingly. I've never subjected it to a schedule, when I need "it," I hire.

 

Not aware of a neighborhood text tree, but I think it's a great concept, a digital neighborhood watch, if you will.

 

I once was acquainted with a black lab named Murphy. He was awesome. I love the name Murphy for a dog.

 

I also have an affinity for purple kows, get well soon.

[+ Gar1eth]

I certainly hope @purplekow is feeling better soon. I was remiss in not mentioning it in my prior post in this thread. And I am very sorry, PK!!

 

I like the name 'Murphy' although it puts me in mind of a character from Jim Butcher's Dresden Series of books.

 

I hope the following isn't considered a hijack. It's an article from the Mayo Clinic on antidepressants and their effect on the libido.

 

@@@@@

 

Appointments at Mayo Clinic

Depression (major depressive disorder)

SECTIONS

 

I'm worried about the sexual side effects from antidepressants. What can be done to prevent or reduce such side effects?

Answers from Daniel K. Hall-Flavin, M.D.

 

Sexual side effects are common with antidepressants in both men and women, so your concern is understandable. Effects on your sexual function can include:

 

• A change in your desire for sex
  
• Erectile problems
  
• Orgasm problems
  
• Problems with arousal, comfort and satisfaction
  

The severity of sexual side effects depends on the individual and the specific type and dose of antidepressant. For some people, sexual side effects are minor or may ease up as their bodies adjust to the medication. For others, sexual side effects continue to be a problem.

 

Antidepressants with the lowest rate of sexual side effects include:

 

• Bupropion (Wellbutrin, Aplenzin, Forfivo XL)
  
• Mirtazapine (Remeron)
  
• Vilazodone (Viibryd)
  

Antidepressants most likely to cause sexual side effects include:

 

• Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs),which include citalopram (Celexa), escitalopram (Lexapro), fluoxetine (Prozac, Selfemra), paroxetine (Paxil, Pexeva) and sertraline (Zoloft).
  
• Serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs), which include venlafaxine (Effexor XR), desvenlafaxine (Pristiq, Khedezla) and duloxetine (Cymbalta).
  
• Tricyclic and tetracyclic antidepressants, such as amitriptyline, nortriptyline (Pamelor) and clomipramine (Anafranil).
  
• Monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs), such as isocarboxazid (Marplan), phenelzine (Nardil) and tranylcypromine (Parnate). However, selegiline (Emsam), a newer MAOI that you stick on your skin as a patch, has a low risk of sexual side effects.
  

If you're taking an antidepressant that causes sexual side effects, your doctor may recommend one of these strategies:

 

• Waiting several weeks to see whether sexual side effects get better.
  
• Engaging in sexual activity before taking an antidepressant if your antidepressant requires a once-a-day dose.
  
• Adjusting the dose of your antidepressant to reduce the risk of sexual side effects. But always talk with your doctor before changing your dose.
  
• Switching to another antidepressant that may be less likely to cause sexual side effects.
  
• Adding a second antidepressant or another type of medication to counter sexual side effects. For example, the addition of the antidepressant bupropion or the anti-anxiety medication buspirone may ease sexual side effects caused by an antidepressant.
  
• Adding a medication to improve sexual function,such as sildenafil (Viagra, Revatio), tadalafil (Adcirca, Cialis) or vardenafil (Levitra, Staxyn). Although these medications are used to treat sexual problems in men, initial research suggests sildenafil may also improve sexual problems caused by antidepressants in some women.
  

Stopping medication because of sexual side effects is a common problem, and for most people this means depression returns. Work with your doctor to find an effective antidepressant or combination of medications that will reduce your sexual side effects and keep your depression under control.

 

Be patient. Because everyone reacts differently to antidepressants, it may take some trial and error to identify what works best for you.

@@@@@

 

Gman

[+ honcho]

This is totally off-topic and I apologize for being such. Nonetheless the argumentative side of me can't

abstain from responding to:

 

1. I feel giving a dog a common human name lacks creativity. I have two fish, their names are bait & hook. I have 3 dogs, their names are Nacho, Chip, and Salsa. I have a cat, his name Gato.
   

 

Nonetheless, having mentioned I work at a public university, the department I work for got a grant

of the *Sun* microsystem workstations and my boss named them Mike, Chip & Rob.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[for those of us of a certain age think of a TV series with 3 so-named characters]

[american executive]

I suffer bouts of anxiety/depression/insomnia during which I lose all interest in sex (and most everything else). I hide it pretty well which takes a toll on me and compounds the effects of the insomnia. Pretending everything is fine is exhausting. These bouts can last a few days to a few weeks and sometimes I need medication (Xanax/Librax/Ambien) to get through it. I am going through one right now and have decided to consult a psychologist this time to see if we can figure out the triggers and not rely on medication to get me through...

 

 

Hi Mattr

 

My name is Danny. I think that was very kind of you to be open about struggles with depression. You are not alone. I have the same; and, as well am trying to work thru a bad period. I wish I had the answers. I have tried it all; meds, therapists, etc. I have found, for me, that keeping very busy is best.

 

The good and bad news is that I am able to keep whatever hours I wish. On bad days I convince myself to stay home, which only makes it worse.

 

I wish you the best and hope that you, and I, find peace and comfort.

 

Danny

[klifhangar]

I lose interest when I am depressed/anxious too. That happens all too frequently. However, I never go without.. for more than a day or two. I would think that holding off for even a couple of weeks would cause you to have wet dreams? I keep thinking that I want to hold off just to see what my dreams would be about? The last time I went without.. for long enough to have one, I had the best wet dream. Just thinking about it made me hard for weeks after.

[mattr]

Hi Mattr

 

My name is Danny. I think that was very kind of you to be open about struggles with depression. You are not alone. I have the same; and, as well am trying to work thru a bad period. I wish I had the answers. I have tried it all; meds, therapists, etc. I have found, for me, that keeping very busy is best.

 

The good and bad news is that I am able to keep whatever hours I wish. On bad days I convince myself to stay home, which only makes it worse.

 

I wish you the best and hope that you, and I, find peace and comfort.

 

Danny

 

Thanks Danny.... So far meds have been working for me so I can control it. I have learned to check side effects to any other drugs I have to take. A few weeks ago I had to take Prednisone for a minor ear problem. About 6 days into the treatment I was so depressed that life seemed hopeless. I then decided to check the side effects of Prednisone and sure enough, it should not be given to people who suffer from depression. I have come out of the worst of it and am feeling better every day. Depression/anxiety is a constant struggle though as you know. I really have no reason to be depressed or anxious but some depression can be caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. I am seeing a new therapist to see if I can cope with depression without medication. Only people who have suffered from depression know how debilitating it can be so I appreciate you reaching out. Keep up the fight!

[gp0560]

This is not so much an answer to the OP as it is general info for frustrated non-cummers.

 

Here's what worked for me after I'd had enough of wishing I could relive some delicious moment from the past, YMMV: Get your sympathetic MD to give you a prescription for daily Cialis ("Why stop to take a pill?"). Have yourself tested for low testosterone, and get a prescription for Androgel Pump. Get off Cymbalta. The Cymbalta was the last piece of the puzzle for me and, boy howdy, did it make a difference! I still don't cum as often as I would like, but hey, I'm north of 70, so I'm not complaining.

[+ purplekow]

Well here we are more than a week later and I am still not near 100%. (More than a month total) Fever and sweats are almost gone, started coughing and hacking up unmentionably colored material and wheezing and was ultimately started on an antibiotic, steroid, steroid inhaler, bronchodilator and nasal spray. I was trudging into work but yesterday I just gave that up and decided to stay home until I was better. Still getting the occasional sweat but not the chills anymore.

So I have a long planned overnight with a well reviewed escort coming up next week. There is no way I will be 100% but I feel like I should be able spend the night enjoying myself. Worse comes to worst, is it appropriate to have the escort come over, dressed in tight white speedos with a large Red Cross on the front and have him feed me soup and read me dirty stories?

 

By the way, still no sexual release since this whole thing started, which is not a dubious record I would like to end.