Do you get hit (online or in person) by young men?

[+ Truereview]

Younger guys not younger gatos

To quote our ever funny @sincitymix ...

 

"Hsssss..... =^..^="

[seaboy4hire]

Younger guys not younger gatos

 

Scratch the right spots and I can purrrrrr lol

 

Hugs,

Greg

[+ nycman]

Divine's high school senior yearbook photo:

 

He apparently died of obstructive sleep apnea....

 

that was before having cheesecake every day... LOL

 

Sorry, I'm late to the thread.

 

Just some minor corrections to the "Divine Misinformation" .....talk about a great drag name....but I digress.....

 

According to Divine's official certificate of death his cause of death was:

"Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy and Cardiomegaly"...not sleep apnea.

 

Of course, no one knows for sure....

 

Also, the above picture was actually AFTER he had already gotten fat as a child, not before.

He then went on to lose a great deal of weight at age 17 (when the above picture was taken).

 

Of course he ballooned up again, but it wasn't the first time!

[+ sniper]

I'm 44 and most of the interest comes from people in their 20s and people considerably older than me. It's weird, in my late 30s there was virtually zero interest - probably because when you post that you are 39 people assume you are really in your late 50s and using an old picture...but once I turned 40 there was a wave of daddy-chasers.

I experienced something similar as I gained weight, where when I had a decent amount of muscle but no abs, I was pretty damn invisible, but when I crossed the line from "a little overweight" to "fat" I entered a new sexual marketspace(and what was shocking to find is that there are ripped dudes into fat guys). I should probably start gathering data, as I am now embarking on a weight-loss program in anticipation of back surgery, and see how many hits I get at different weights....

[mike carey]

I'd be curious to know in what business setting and corporate world (or any world for that matter) would talking about one's sexual orientation be "casual and open." I simply can't imagine why one would talk about one's life in a business setting "very openly and casually." Gay or Straight.

I'd saved the quote to reply before reading on but I'll second the examples already cited. Not having had a significant other while I was in the workforce it wasn't an issue for me but being casual and open about one's sexual orientation can be as simple as using the appropriate personal pronoun rather than dancing around the issue and using 'they'. In my case, the closest it came was having to handle questions as to why I wasn't married, and I typically avoided the issue.

[hunterlee]

Grindr

Face Photo - No / Little Messages

Body Photo - Phone blows up but once I sent face photo it becomes a wasteland

 

I message older guys but I rarely get a response. I live in a conservative/waspy area. Many guys have in there profile "no rice", "no yellow", "no azns or blks", "whites only" "no ethnics". It is only once you hit Boca Raton and south it is much more diverse and more open minded.

 

I get some mean messages some are funny such as:

 

"egg roll", "wanton soup", "china man" 0___o

 

In Person

I live in a conservative/waspy area, I see guys looking / glancing at me I think something is wrong or if i'm doing something weird but I never get approached or talked to.

 

Off Topic

This is a quote from another escort Clark and his tumblr hyperlinked <--

"The designation of Asian men being considered less attractive by our beauty standards is because of racism, misogyny, and male supremacy in an arbitrary system which regards european men as the highest standard of man"

 

Which i can agree to some extent only because I have heard a lot of evidence (feedback from my own "hook ups") such as:

 

"you are the first asian i've been with", "i'm usually not into asians", "you are cute for an asian" and my favorite of all lines "are you really asian you don't sound asian?"

 

Not everyone is like that, many are judgment free and free loving however I have seen a good number who share these thoughts / philosophy. This is my take coming from my end/side. What is your take?

 

This could be a reason why I don't get approached or messaged online/in person.

 

Sorry to steal the thread, I was in a society discussing mood lol.

 

Back On Topic

I'm too shy/intimidated to approach others in a club/bar setting. I don't like going out for this reason so my nights consists of staying home and reading or entertaining guests .

 

When I go do normal errands mom-aged women will compliment me and ask if I have a girlfriend. I don't know how I feel when moms ask me if I have a girlfriend, I've had one mom introduce me to their daughter right afterwards. It was kinda awkward. However when Dilfs chat me up (which is rare) I get a rallied up and have mischievous thoughts. Thoughts such as "Son's friend seduces the dad", "son catches dad with his best friend" and "wife catches husband with son's schoolmate" LOL.

Edited December 30, 2015 by hunterlee

[+ Keith30309]

Grindr

Face Photo - No / Little Messages

Body Photo - Phone blows up but once I sent face photo it becomes a wasteland

 

I message older guys but I rarely get a response. I live in a conservative/waspy area. Many guys have in there profile "no rice", "no yellow", "no azns or blks", "whites only" "no ethnics". It is only once you hit Boca Raton and south it is much more diverse and more open minded.

 

I get some mean messages some are funny such as:

 

"egg roll", "wanton soup", "china man" 0___o

 

In Person

I live in a conservative/waspy area, I see guys looking / glancing at me I think something is wrong or if i'm doing something weird but I never get approached or talked to.

 

Off Topic

This is a quote from a friend

"The designation of Asian men being considered less attractive by our beauty standards is because of racism, misogyny, and male supremacy in an arbitrary system which regards european men as the highest standard of man"

 

Which i can agree to some extent only because I have heard a lot of evidence (feedback from my own "hook ups") such as:

 

"you are the first asian i've been with", "i'm usually not into asians", "you are cute for an asian" and my favorite of all lines "are you really asian you don't sound asian?"

 

Not everyone is like that, many are judgment free and free loving however I have seen a good number who share these thoughts / philosophy. This is my take coming from my end/side. What is your take?

 

This could be a reason why I don't get approached or messaged online/in person.

 

That's astounding to hear - you're amazing looking!

There is no accounting for some people's taste (or rudeness).

[bigvalboy]

Grindr

I live in a conservative/waspy area. Many guys have in there profile "no rice", "no yellow", "no azns or blks", "whites only" "no ethnics". It is only once you hit Boca Raton and south it is much more diverse and more open minded.

I get some mean messages some are funny such as:

"egg roll", "wanton soup", "china man" 0___o

 

In Person

I live in a conservative/waspy area, I see guys looking / glancing at me I think something is wrong or if i'm doing something weird but I never get approached or talked to.

"you are the first asian i've been with", "i'm usually not into asians", "you are cute for an asian" and my favorite of all lines "are you really asian you don't sound asian?"

Not everyone is like that, many are judgment free and free loving however I have seen a good number who share these thoughts / philosophy. This is my take coming from my end/side. What is your take?

 

Well it is Florida after all, you should expect that...LOL...People seem to forget that once you leave Broward County, you're really deep in the south. You kinda have to expect the racism and bigotry. It goes with the territory, literally. This is only my take, so no letters please, but in LA the racist comments seemed more mean spirited, almost angry, like they wanted to make sure you knew that they hated you, but here, it's hard to explain, it's more 'off-the-cuff' sort of second nature, and people here seem quick to apologize if you are offended, they still mean it, but are somehow surprised if you took them so seriously. (Go figure)

 

The other night, my neighbors, both lawyers mind you, insisted that I join them for dinner and drinks, their treat. After the wine started to flow, two of the guys started telling me how Obama was the 'anti-Christ' and that he was personally responsible for all the Muslims who had come here, and he was somehow protecting them, "Think about it" he said, after all, he knew it was true, because he had read it in a book somewhere...well alrighty then... LOL ...I just poured myself another glass of some very pricey wine they had ordered, picked out the most expensive appetizer and told the waiter (very cute by the way) to bring me the filet, medium rare, then proceeded to tell them that they were all crazy, then just sat back and watched as he worked himself into a little tizzy. It was better than going to the theater.

 

The point of all of this? Sometimes Hunter you just have to laugh it off. It is what it is. There will always be bigotry and intolerance, and mean-spirited A-holes who make disparaging comments to hurt and insult you, but it's your choice whether or not you allow it to derail your life and happiness. You will never ever change their minds, or convince them of anything other than what they already see as their reality.

 

All the best...Oh yeah, and the Boca thing, that's not entirely accurate, we have our share of crazies down here also...

Edited December 30, 2015 by bigvalboy

[+ Truereview]

SOAP BOX ALERT - TR is about to dump out a lot of random thoughts

 

@bigvalboy, great post above, buddy. I think you are hitting on a couple of points that connect: when you face bias or any "isms," point it out diplomatically, sit back, remain cool, don't escalate, and let them squirm. I think this is easier to do when you belong to the same group - i.e. racial group. My assumption is that you and your lawyer neighbors are the same race? If so, naming their behavior and laughing it off is somewhat easier (it still take balls though - so kudos there!). Even if you weren't, you have a certain thing in common (maybe being neighbors?) that gives you the ground to call it out.

 

With that said, what I hear in @hunterlee 's post is "cumulative impact" - the emotional weight that builds after the sum of being the recipient of bigotry, racism, discrimination, and/or even subtle bias. It begins to weigh so heavily on the recipient that simply laughing it off actually adds more negative impact - you can't laugh something that is slowly but surely eroding your own identity. To me, posting about it in a safe environment - actually venting your feelings - is a good way for the carrier of cumulative impact to begin to deal with the weight. Sh!t, I'm doing that as I write!

 

So how does this connect to being hit on by younger folks? Methinks this situation can also can have a cumulative impact - you may start thinking people your own age or older don't see you as worthy prospect. That could lead to negative feelings and so on. What do I take from all this? Every action has an impact, and being introspective is helpful, yet you also need a peer group (even if anonymous) to fully deal with impact.

[MrMiniver]

"Doesn't your wife get sick of you traveling all the time for meetings?"

"Husband actually, but no he doesn't mind"

 

"That's a great watch"

"It was a gift from my wife/husband for our anniversary last year"

 

I could go on but you get the idea...

 

That's awfully tepid. I wouldn't call that being "open about your sexual orientation." I got from the original comment that we were talking about actual sexual comments which I would find inappropriate in a workplace.

[MrMiniver]

Lol...good ones. Here are some others:

 

"We are having a holiday party in appreciation of your services, bring your wife"

"I'd be happy to bring my BF, would that work?"

 

"My wife and the family, had a great weekend, what did you do?"

"My pups and I went to the beach with a guy I met on airplane ride from Miami"

 

@MrMiniver , I very much respect your choices. Nothing wrong with your approach. Different folks, different strokes.

 

I have no problem with the first exchange. I think the second exchange would be inappropriate in an office setting or any professional setting.

[MrMiniver]

I think your conflating "sexuality/orientation" and "sexual acts" here @MrMiniver - two entirely different subjects. For the first - sexuality/orientation - as has already been pointed out, one can be open and casual about it in the work place - both gay and straight. I don't think TR or anyone else is waving rainbow flags and throwing glitter about the office, but the examples given show how one can casually be open about one's sexuality. Would you disagree with how they were answered? Also, if you cannot imagine people talking about the other subject - sex - in the workplace, come down to financial district in NYC. The graphic descriptions of sexual encounters I have overheard or been told directly (ugh!) would make Larry Flynt blush. Inappropriate - sure, but it happens -- in the office, at the bar with colleagues -- I don't necessarily want to hear it but I also don't want to be pegged as the prude. I avoid when I can and when I can't - I grin and bear it and somebody usually steers the conversation away from the subject at hand. It is what it is and I don't know an office where it doesn't happen.

 

I have no doubt that you are correct but I still would find that kind of talk in a professional setting inappropriate. If I did that at my university, I'd be brought up on charges. Of course, college settings are VERY TOUCHY these days.

[MrMiniver]

I'd saved the quote to reply before reading on but I'll second the examples already cited. Not having had a significant other while I was in the workforce it wasn't an issue for me but being casual and open about one's sexual orientation can be as simple as using the appropriate personal pronoun rather than dancing around the issue and using 'they'. In my case, the closest it came was having to handle questions as to why I wasn't married, and I typically avoided the issue.

I completely agree with you on that. Perhaps I misunderstood the original comment which I took to be more "sexual" in nature. Those kinds of generic questions should be answered the same way, gay or straight, IMHO.

[MrMiniver]

I love the conflation of "conservative and WASPY." I haven't met a WASP in 30 years who wasn't very liberal/left wing.

[geminibear]

I love the conflation of "conservative and WASPY." I haven't met a WASP in 30 years who wasn't very liberal/left wing.

Then you aren't hanging out in the right WASP nests.

[Reluctant Daddy]

Unfortunately the few younger guys who happen to hit on me are generally not my type.

[bigvalboy]

 

@bigvalboy My assumption is that you and your lawyer neighbors are the same race?

 

We are not, but that did not stop them from voicing their opinions, which is fine. As I mentioned in my post, the Floridians I have met don't look at it as a personal attack, and always seem somewhat surprised when it is taken personally...Could be just a Florida thing, but my concern was to enjoy a rather fine meal, and kill a couple of bottles of a rather fine wine...Those that do not face disparaging comments on a daily basis, often don't understand that there is a time and place for everything, you have to choose your battles, and changing the world was not on the menu.....that night.

People are going to say shitty things, and if I confronted every single person who did, I would wind up like another poster here, that carries all this anger and resentment inside, and blames the world for every bad thing that happens in his life. That's not me, life's way too short. The next day we were poolside, and we were all laughing when I reminded them how ridiculous they sounded. They still feel the same way, but I gave them something to think about....baby steps...

 

BVB climbs down off his soapbox and quietly exits stage left...http://www.boytoy.com/forums/public/style_emoticons/default/bye.gif

Edited December 30, 2015 by bigvalboy

[+ Truereview]

We are not, but that did not stop them from voicing their opinions, which is fine. As I mentioned in my post, the Floridians I have met don't look at it as a personal attack, and always seem somewhat surprised when it is taken personally...Could be just a Florida thing, but my concern was to enjoy a rather fine meal, and kill a couple of bottles of a rather fine wine...Those that do not face disparaging comments on a daily basis, often don't understand that there is a time and place for everything, you have to choose your battles, and changing the world was not on the menu.....that night.

People are going to say shitty things, and if I confronted every single person who did, I would wind up like another poster here, that carries all this anger and resentment inside, and blames the world for every bad thing that happens in his life. That's not me, life's way too short. The next day we were poolside, and we were all laughing when I reminded them how ridiculous they sounded. They still feel the same way, but I gave them something to think about....baby steps...

 

BVB climbs down off his soapbox and quietly exits stage left...http://www.boytoy.com/forums/public/style_emoticons/default/bye.gif

I have a critical, urgent, pivotal question for you, BVB...

 

How do I get one of those animated emoticons?!!

[bigvalboy]

I have a critical, urgent, pivotal question for you, BVB...

How do I get one of those animated emoticons?!!

 

Sssshhhh....Keep it on the down low, but... (Adam Smith knows)

[+ quoththeraven]

Grindr

Face Photo - No / Little Messages

Body Photo - Phone blows up but once I sent face photo it becomes a wasteland

 

I message older guys but I rarely get a response. I live in a conservative/waspy area. Many guys have in there profile "no rice", "no yellow", "no azns or blks", "whites only" "no ethnics". It is only once you hit Boca Raton and south it is much more diverse and more open minded.

 

I get some mean messages some are funny such as:

 

"egg roll", "wanton soup", "china man" 0___o

 

In Person

I live in a conservative/waspy area, I see guys looking / glancing at me I think something is wrong or if i'm doing something weird but I never get approached or talked to.

 

Off Topic

This is a quote from another escort Clark and his tumblr hyperlinked <--

"The designation of Asian men being considered less attractive by our beauty standards is because of racism, misogyny, and male supremacy in an arbitrary system which regards european men as the highest standard of man"

 

Which i can agree to some extent only because I have heard a lot of evidence (feedback from my own "hook ups") such as:

 

"you are the first asian i've been with", "i'm usually not into asians", "you are cute for an asian" and my favorite of all lines "are you really asian you don't sound asian?"

 

Not everyone is like that, many are judgment free and free loving however I have seen a good number who share these thoughts / philosophy. This is my take coming from my end/side. What is your take?

 

This could be a reason why I don't get approached or messaged online/in person.

 

Sorry to steal the thread, I was in a society discussing mood lol.

 

Back On Topic

I'm too shy/intimidated to approach others in a club/bar setting. I don't like going out for this reason so my nights consists of staying home and reading or entertaining guests .

 

When I go do normal errands mom-aged women will compliment me and ask if I have a girlfriend. I don't know how I feel when moms ask me if I have a girlfriend, I've had one mom introduce me to their daughter right afterwards. It was kinda awkward. However when Dilfs chat me up (which is rare) I get a rallied up and have mischievous thoughts. Thoughts such as "Son's friend seduces the dad", "son catches dad with his best friend" and "wife catches husband with son's schoolmate" LOL.

 

As a (half)Asian woman, I second this 1,000%. There is research that shows that Asian men are perceived as non-masculine/feminine. (I don't remember the specifics about study participants, but I believe the study was conducted in the US - it was definitely in an Anglophone country - so primarily college-age and almost certainly predominantly white.)

 

This perception is related to many things, including Asian men not being romantic leads in movies, Asian men only appearing in niche porn (Van Darkholme works for Kink.com, which may be popular and well-known but is still niche; the only other gay site or studio I know of that features Asian models is Peter; and I've never seen or heard of Asian men in straight porn), and Asians and Muslims being the most stereotyped groups in popular media and culture. (Technically, most of the Muslims so stereotyped are themselves Asian. Food for thought!)

 

In popular media/culture, a handful of black and Latino/Hispanic characters - overwhelmingly but not always male - are not stereotyped, and non-traditional casting usually means a black actor in a part not written for a black actor. It hardly ever means an Asian actor in a part not written for an Asian. It may be just as likely for a woman to be cast in a part written for a man, like Sigourney Weaver as Ridley in Alien and out gay woman Kirsten Vangsness as Garcia in Criminal Minds.

 

TL;DR: Asian men/escorts are the Rodney Dangerfields of the gay world.

 

We need ways of coping personally while acting to change the culture. As BVB says, it isn't helpful for those who are constantly on the receiving end of insults and stereotypes based on immutable characteristics, whether they be race, ethnicity, gender, orientation, or dick size, to become angry or defensive every single time it happens. They need to pick their battles. But sometimes that may mean walking away and avoiding toxic situations entirely.

Edited December 30, 2015 by quoththeraven

[Lookin]

Sitting here laughing at the image of Bigvalboy's skinning his neighbors for a luxe dinner last night and then roasting them by the pool the next afternoon by way of saying thanks. http://bilder.hifi-forum.de/small/699334/lol_153196.gif

 

I find it pretty easy to poke fun at how dense bigots usually are, but it never occurred to me to cadge a free filet while I'm doing it.

 

Until now. http://www.boytoy.com/forums/public/style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif

 

http://www.ianthompsoninteriors.com/wp-content/uploads/tumblr_mdow20CqyG1rvva76o1_500.jpg

Edited December 31, 2015 by Lookin

[bigvalboy]

Sitting here laughing at the image of Bigvalboy's skinning his neighbors for a luxe dinner last night and then roasting them by the pool the next afternoon by way of saying thanks. http://bilder.hifi-forum.de/small/699334/lol_153196.gif

 

I find it pretty easy to poke fun at how dense bigots usually are, but it never occurred to me cadge a free filet while I'm doing it.

 

Until now. http://www.boytoy.com/forums/public/style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif

 

http://www.ianthompsoninteriors.com/wp-content/uploads/tumblr_mdow20CqyG1rvva76o1_500.jpg

LOL...The trick of course, is to always make them think that they are winning the argument....well at least until after the bill is paid. And always drive separately, so you don't have to listen to them on the ride home.

Edited December 31, 2015 by bigvalboy

[+ Truereview]

I have no problem with the first exchange. I think the second exchange would be inappropriate in an office setting or any professional setting.

Could not agree more, Mr Miniver!!! Imagine someone throwing around their heterosexuality on my face while in an office setting! How dare they! Gasp!

[jawjateck]

.........or entertaining guests .

 

And I, for one, am very very glad you do!

[borgerback]

but when I crossed the line from "a little overweight" to "fat" I entered a new sexual marketspace(and what was shocking to find is that there are ripped dudes into fat guys).

I'm not sure I classify as fat, but (in my opinion) my stubborn and persistent large gut is unattractive (at least it would be to me). Want to send me some of these ripped guys??