Falling in Love with an Escort?

[RacerX]

Have any of you ever hired an escort, ended up falling in love with him, and then successfully turned it into a genuine loving relationship? Do you think an Escort has ever fallen in love with a Client? Think "Pretty Woman" with Julia Roberts and Richard Gere.

[big-n-tall]

Can it happen? Yes. Anything is possible. I know a few working guys that sparked serious relationships with clients. But I hope anyone doing this for fun doesn't have that idea in their head. I believe that train of thought will lead to disappointment for the most part.

 

At most, you may meet an escort and become friends, but again I don't think going into this hobby to find a friend or a partner is something to go searching for. If something more happens, then it happens.

[Rudynate]

Can it happen? Yes. Anything is possible. I know a few working guys that sparked serious relationships with clients. But I hope anyone doing this for fun doesn't have that idea in their head. I believe that train of thought will lead to disappointment for the most part.

 

At most, you may meet an escort and become friends, but again I don't think going into this hobby to find a friend or a partner is something to go searching for. If something more happens, then it happens.

 

There was a time when I went to sex clubs a lot, and I seriously thought I was going to find a boyfriend going to sex clubs. In a moment of sanity, I realized that I was truly "Looking for love in all the wrong places." Realizing that my goal was a boyfriend, I stopped hanging out in sex clubs and, in a matter of months, met the love of my life.

I expect one might have better luck finding a boyfriend in a sex club than by hiring escorts.

[whipped guy]

Well a good friend indeed ended up "Looking for love in all the wrong places". The escort was quite good at delivering the BFE. Well he was too good at it as it was mistaken for the real thing! My friend actually flys to the escort to "propose". I actually emailed the escort in a vain attempt to warn him. I really should have been blunt about it, but I softened things way too much and the escort didn't catch what I was attempting to warn him about. He took it as a joke. Well, from what I understand the proverbial you know what hit the proverbial fan that night. O.o It was not a purdy sight!

 

Of course I'll be singing "Looking for love in all the wrong places" all night. Fortunately I have always liked the song!

[Rudynate]

Well a good friend indeed ended up "Looking for love in all the wrong places". The escort was quite good at delivering the BFE. Well he was too good at it as it was mistaken for the real thing! My friend actually flys to the escort to "propose". I actually emailed the escort in a vain attempt to warn him. I really should have been blunt about it, but I softened things way too much and the escort didn't catch what I was attempting to warn him about. He took it as a joke. Well, from what I understand the proverbial you know what hit the proverbial fan that night. It was not a purdy sight!

 

Of course I'll be singing "Looking for love in all the wrong places" all night. Fortunately I have always liked the song!

 

WG - you have great stories. I love great stories.

[RacerX]

Then I need help.

[whipped guy]

WG - you have great stories. I love great stories.

Well then I'll continue the story. A year later, this guy has his sights set on another escort. However, I did not realize it as I had thought that he had learned his lesson. He invites him to NYC to show him the big city. They have an arrangement. Even though he is hiring the escort for the weekend, the escort can do some tricks as well. I stop by their hotel room in NYC and meet the escort. He's a nice guy and we talk about leather and S&M and that on his next visit to the City we need to hook up. (We do, but that's another story.) The escort has a client coming over in about an hour. So my friend and I leave to give him time to get ready for the client. We no sooner leave and my buddy turns to me and says "I hope that this guy is the one. I really think that this guy is the one." At that point I shook my mp head in disbelief that he was still looking "in all the wrong places".

 

This escort let him down a bit easier and at least they ended up being friends. Eventually my friend did meet the love of his life and it was someone who was the polar opposite of either one of the escorts. So go figure. At least the story has a happy ending.

[gallahadesquire]

I had hired a fellow for several times ... he'd come out from boston and spend Friday and Saturday nights. He stopped the biz. and we were still friends.

 

He met a lover. They broke up; I got his lover's cat (may he RIP); and then he moved in [i knew at some point he was going to need a place to call home, and I'd offered.]

 

That was two years ago. Odd set up. Completely platonic, but it's nice to have a man around the house.

 

Oh, and we have another cat.

[whipped guy]

Then I need help.

Well, that's part of what this forum is about... Hopefully by the end of this thread you will get some diverse perspectives on the issue that will indeed help.

[JDXXX]

Well a good friend indeed ended up "Looking for love in all the wrong places". The escort was quite good at delivering the BFE. Well he was too good at it as it was mistaken for the real thing! My friend actually flys to the escort to "propose". I actually emailed the escort in a vain attempt to warn him. I really should have been blunt about it, but I softened things way too much and the escort didn't catch what I was attempting to warn him about. He took it as a joke. Well, from what I understand the proverbial you know what hit the proverbial fan that night. It was not a purdy sight!

 

Of course I'll be singing "Looking for love in all the wrong places" all night. Fortunately I have always liked the song!

 

 

Well then I'll continue the story. A year later, this guy has his sights set on another escort. However, I did not realize it as I had thought that he had learned his lesson. He invites him to NYC to show him the big city. They have an arrangement. Even though he is hiring the escort for the weekend, the escort can do some tricks as well. I stop by their hotel room in NYC and meet the escort. He's a nice guy and we talk about leather and S&M and that on his next visit to the City we need to hook up. (We do, but that's another story.) The escort has a client coming over in about an hour. So my friend and I leave to give him time to get ready for the client. We no sooner leave and my buddy turns to me and says "I hope that this guy is the one. I really think that this guy is the one." At that point I shook my mp head in disbelief that he was still looking "in all the wrong places".

 

This escort let him down a bit easier and at least they ended up being friends. Eventually my friend did meet the love of his life and it was someone who was the polar opposite of either one of the escorts. So go figure. At least the story has a happy ending.

 

That's quite a story, WG. Goes to show anything is possible when you don't look for love in the wrong places. When you don't look for love it'll come when you least expect it.

[+ purplekow]

I'm addicted to an escort I met. It was initially just a weekend booking. We were to spend the weekend together and I was suppose to pay him a ton of money at the end. But over the weekend we seemed to really click and he told me he was interested in something more. That he was actually really into me and was not expecting that to happen but it did. At the end of the weekend I didn't pay him and he didn't ask me to. I've been seeing him for about a month now, I helped him out with his electricity bill and bought a few groceries but I haven't actually given him cash. I have been spending quite a bit though just to see him (hotel rooms, flights, meals, and entertainment).

 

One other thing, I overheard him on the phone talking to someone he claims is just a client, saying the same things he has said to me, about how he is actually really into the guy and so on. He also never actually comes on to me, I always make the first move. He says it's because he is naturally not that horny but he spends a lot of time on Grindr talking dirty/flirty to guys that look nothing like me. He's even snuck out of our hotel room in the middle of the night for a grindr meat and greet. He never asks when we will see each other again. Etc. All signs point to "He's not actually that into me" but why would he spend all this time with me if he isn't actually making any money? For free food and tickets to the opera? I'm so confused :-(

There is someone you know who may be able to resolve your confusion. It may be time to ask the escort, what the fuck is going on? If you do not ask him, you could try pulling petals off of a flower asking the petals alternately: Does He love me. Does He loves me not.

[+ WilliamM]

Have any of you ever hired an escort, ended up falling in love with him, and then successfully turned it into a genuine loving relationship? Do you think an Escort has ever fallen in love with a Client? Think "Pretty Woman" with Julia Roberts and Richard Gere.

 

The escort whom I hired the most (three years) surprised me by falling in love with one of his client. A couple, around his age, hired him for a three-way, and after several other appointments with my escort friend the couple eventually split up. He and one of the men in the couple dated, moved in together and got married. WG will like the following. The first appointment was a heavy S & M session.

 

For months the escort and I talked his plans. But, I never asked about the sex because he had never before expressed an interest in S & M. In fact, he told me about several S & M situations that he disliked.

 

Guess he just met the right guy. Nice guy, I am very glad things turned out so well. It absolutely does not happen very often.

[+ purplekow]

Well then, believe him and see where it goes or do not believe him and do both of you a favor and break up. Ruminating on it, will kill the relationship for sure. In problematic relationships, the right thing to do is usually known, but unpleasant and so rather than a clean cut, we wind up with a lingering melodrama. My advice. enjoy the ride with a hot guy and expect that in good time, it will be clear what his motivations are.

[+ azdr0710]

gotta say I've never been in love, but I did get somewhat infatuated with an escort a couple years ago....

 

He was/is a very low-key, unpretentious, masculine guy (features important to me)....easy to hang out with, lots of chat, great body and face (mid 40s, but looks early 30s), up for anything....he never got a long-term career going and was living with his mother....ended up helping him a bit with bills, car work, traffic fines, etc., mostly after I asked if he needed help (and he'd be very humble about it).....he had one touchy episode with some crazy boyfriend which got him down for a while.....time came when we had a regular meeting set up, he said he's on his way in a few minutes....and he never showed, never replied......

 

either he 1) sensed I was getting too clingy, or 2) he was sick of all this escorting and decided to try and move on or 3)???

 

gotta keep it all in balance.....stay busy with other activities in your life.....

[liubit]

I have always been very cautious NOT to fall in love with my escorts. There have nevertheless been one or two with whom I nearly "crossed the line", just to come to my senses in a screeching halt at the very edge of the slippery slope. However, a close friend met an escort (about 10 years his junior), who actually proposed to him after several appointments. They have now been together for 15 years and counting....The boy quit the biz and found a regular job. They are a happy coiple!

 

So, yes, "Pretty Woman" can happen, but it is very rare. Gotta be careful out there!

[RockyHardon]

I'm addicted to an escort I met. It was initially just a weekend booking. We were to spend the weekend together and I was suppose to pay him a ton of money at the end. But over the weekend we seemed to really click and he told me he was interested in something more. That he was actually really into me and was not expecting that to happen but it did. At the end of the weekend I didn't pay him and he didn't ask me to. I've been seeing him for about a month now, I helped him out with his electricity bill and bought a few groceries but I haven't actually given him cash. I have been spending quite a bit though just to see him (hotel rooms, flights, meals, and entertainment).

 

One other thing, I overheard him on the phone talking to someone he claims is just a client, saying the same things he has said to me, about how he is actually really into the guy and so on. He also never actually comes on to me, I always make the first move. He says it's because he is naturally not that horny but he spends a lot of time on Grindr talking dirty/flirty to guys that look nothing like me. He's even snuck out of our hotel room in the middle of the night for a grindr meat and greet. He never asks when we will see each other again. Etc. All signs point to "He's not actually that into me" but why would he spend all this time with me if he isn't actually making any money? For free food and tickets to the opera? I'm so confused :-(

 

Falling for an escort...happened to me all the time when I was younger, but since I was on down-low I couldn't be anything more than a client to the escort...

 

Your story above is probably par for the course for dating a working boy. He has plenty of clients (I'm assuming he didn't retire), and needs to find a few new ones to keep his flow going and replace lost regulars. So, he is flirting with prospects, sending texts and emails to schedule appointments, and venturing out on dates to make his money. The fact is that he still has to work, and his work looks to an outsider like he is flirting and hooking up (actually that is his job...the difference between you and him, is that he gets paid for it).

 

He may REALLY, REALLY be into you, but you can't tell because you have been trained that anyone flirting, texting, and hooking up with other guys isn't into you. This is the downfall of dating an escort. You may simply need to tell him that when you are together, you are together, and to do his business when you are at work...if he is really into you, he will give you 100% of his attention on your time...he is an escort...he does know how to do that...

[whipped guy]

gotta say I've never been in love, but I did get somewhat infatuated with an escort a couple years ago....

 

He was/is a very low-key, unpretentious, masculine guy (features important to me)....easy to hang out with, lots of chat, great body and face (mid 40s, but looks early 30s), up for anything....he never got a long-term career going and was living with his mother....ended up helping him a bit with bills, car work, traffic fines, etc., mostly after I asked if he needed help (and he'd be very humble about it).....he had one touchy episode with some crazy boyfriend which got him down for a while.....time came when we had a regular meeting set up, he said he's on his way in a few minutes....and he never showed, never replied......

 

either he 1) sensed I was getting too clingy, or 2) he was sick of all this escorting and decided to try and move on or 3)???

 

gotta keep it all in balance.....stay busy with other activities in your life.....

 

What is interesting is that I was going to start a thread about this very subject a couple of months ago because reading between the lines of several posts I thought that a couple of posters had similar issues going on. For some reason I never did. However, I think many guys become infatuated if not necessarily in love with certain escorts. Indeed my first escort complained to me that he was being stalked. He even contacted a lawyer about it. Now was it due to the client bring in love with him, was the client off the wall?!? Who knows! However, more than one escort has confided in me that they have had similar problems. Consequently it would be interesting if some escorts chime in here about the issue.

 

Regarding advice to such clients AZDR0710 says it best:

 

"gotta keep it all in balance.....stay busy with other activities in your life....."

[+ bigjoey]

When I Was One-and Twenty:

 

http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/237110

 

Yes, I am currently in the process of entering into a relationship with an amazing man who escorted. His past is of no concern to me. I may be crazy but he has won me over in amazing ways.

[jawjateck]

Falling in love? Nonsense! I'm far too me-centric to entertain such folly.

[Rudynate]

 

gotta keep it all in balance.....stay busy with other activities in your life.....

 

That's my standard advice for people with this sort of problem, "You need to get out more."

 

I actually reminded myself of that not long ago. I've been so wrapped up in my business that I had no idea what was going on in the world, wasn't paying attention to the news or anything, so I reminded myself of my own advice.

[Rudynate]

 

Yes, I am currently in the process of entering into a relationship with an amazing man who escorted. His past is of no concern to me. I may be crazy but he has won me over in amazing ways.

 

Congratulations!! Notice, though, that you said he escorted, not that he is an escort. That's a big difference. It means he's done with escorting and is ready for something else, like you!

 

Of course, it isn't impossible that an escort and a client fall in love. But a client who hires with the goal of finding a boyfriend, which is what the thread was originally about, is almost sure to be frustrated and disappointed.

 

Usually, relationships that start out professionally are poor candidates to become romantic relationships.

 

I had a mad crush on my spine surgeon - amazing man, tall, handsome, brilliant, triathlete, disciplined, caring, the list goes on. There was the small detail that he was straight, but even if he hadn't been, he would have been a lousy candidate for a BF - 14 hour days, being on call, meetings with business partners, his work always came first and so on. And of course, I wasn't infatuated with the person, but with the Dr.

[+ Truereview]

Great dialogue here and I will offer one slightly different perspective. Companions, like clients, are human beings who will be confused, tempted, angered, fall in love, fall out of love....companions, no matter how "professional" they will have confusing feelings and send mixed signals b/c we are all playing with fire: emotions. Good companionship & its physical side benefits requires emotions, and those emotions can get the best of both the client AND the companion. I don't have any sage advice to serve up, but when I feel my emotions are getting the best of me or my companion, I do tend to create some time and space to assess what the heck is going on.

 

Racer, that's exactly what you did with this post, and you are, hopefully, benefiting from a diversity of opinions that can help you or others get their (upper) head screwed on tight

[+ DickyF]

A great BFE can lead me to become attached. It's something I need to watch out for.

Recently the guy wasn't even particularly good at sex but there was something about him that I fell for.

When I feel it happening I try to hire another guy real quick to help me forget and move on. Sometimes it helps!

[Rudynate]

I'm not afraid to feel a little infatuation for a guy, I actually welcome it. I sigh for a couple of days and then, in the course of day-to-day life, I forget about it. I suppose if an infatuation persisted, I would use the remedy I always recommend to others when they're in a disempowering frame of mind - Get out more.

[+ glennnn]

As an older guy just restarting physical relationships with men after over 40 years, I foresaw this problem; I knew I was (and continue to be) very needy when it comes to love with a man. And, sure enough, my first escort encounter left me totally besotted with the guy. I emailed him several fervid thank yous, a "bon voyage" note as he left on vacation, info on a new cock ring I found on line, etc.. almost anything to keep that inner fire I got from our 2 hours together. In all cases, he answered me quickly and politely, but there was a distance, a kind of "form letter" feel to his replies that gently brought me to my senses. The fire became a glow which will likely lead to more affectionate, but professioal dates with this wonderful man.

 

I've gone through the exact same process with my second escort, who was even more affectionate and warm. He's a great kisser who loves to practice! There was a flurry of thank yous, expressions of mutual regard and tentative plans for a repeat performance. I rather desperately wanted to contact him daily, but managed to hold off. Again, the fire has become a glow.

 

What have I learned.

 

1. An escort is not looking for love, and I shouldn't be either. Warmth, sincerity, attention, yes. Anything beyond that, no.

2. The whole experience is a fantasy with a beginning and an end. The fact that a good escort doesn't push me out the door as soon as I cum is great, but he still needs for me to go, because the fantasy is over.

3. I am not the first client to be enthralled by this wonderful, sexy, handsome, perfect guy. Making me feel special and unique is his stock in trade.

4. It's okay to engage in a little post-coitus flirting, but it must stop before it turns into stalking.

5. It helps to ask myself what I expect will happen if I did form a relationship... dating, marriage?

6. Use this forum to help straighten out my head.

7. Look for escort number 3

 

Aren't I lucky to have hooked up with two such outstanding and professional escorts?