I had a horrible overnight... And I'm glad I did

[Wolfer]

Isn't that quite the title? But I do mean it... What had happened was that I had a first afternoon session with an escort that was so amazing I decided to book an extented overnight with him. I asked his rate for a session lasting from 3pm till 1pm the following day.

So, he quoted me a rate which I knew was lower than his usual rate for a regular 12 hour overnight. "Officially" I couldn't know this, because all his rates in his ad were "ask me", but he has some overnight reviews on this site which mention his regular fee.

So, we confirm everything through text and I book him for a date three weeks out...

 

The day before our session I remind him I'll be arriving at three and suddenly he's all like: " Oh, overnights usually start at 6pm." At this point I'm stressed out... Because if he's forgotten my arrival time, did he also forget the agreed to rate? So I very gently state my fear and stress (while reminding him of my arrival time and the agreed upon rate), but he assures me everything is fine.

 

Until I get to his place... He was an hour and a half late. (he asked me to wait in a nearby Starbucks till he had his flat sorted out). And throughout the session he was constantly making very inappropriate remarks and jokes about the fee, payment and "this is extra"... It was obvious he meant these remarks in jest, but he would not stop making them, which made me feel uncomfortable.

But I could see something was bothering him. He had a short fuse, snapped at me several times and made me feel very unwelcome.

I myself am still learning to speak up in situations like these. Obviously I should have said something, but I had just seperated from my husband of 13 years and was an emotional wreck. The escort knew this, by the way.

 

Anyway, in the morning he gets a call from a client and answers it, then asks me if it's okay if he takes the call. I found it to be wildly inappropriate, but remembering some advice here on the forums to give escorts some space for bussiness followups during longer sessions I told him: " Okay, but not too long".

The call ended up lasting half an hour...

 

But what really hit me in the face was when he got a text from his roommate, who had forgotten his keys and was on his way to work. He asked the escort to come bring him his keys. Naturally I asked the escort why the roommate couldn't just come back to get the keys himself and the escort said his roommate would be late for work. He asked me if it would be fine if he "popped out" real quickly. Truthfully I said: "No, but you gotta do what you gotta do." To which he very gruffly responded: "You're already getting 20 hours on less than 12 hours pay, I'm just saying." and left. He was again gone for close to half an hour (having assured me it would only take five minutes)

 

Suddenly his behaviour throughout our session made sense. I thought he was feeling shortchanged, even though he quoted me the fee.

 

Anyway, during the session I didn't have the emotional resilience to confront him about this. I did ask him if he felt underpayed, but he said no, only to follow that statement immediately with: "But you can make it up to me by writing a glowing review." (I can't write a review about our overnight, since I'd already reviewed him and the second session was not six months later).

 

After the session I wrote to him explaining how I felt and asking what was up. I was hoping he would say he was having a bad day... But no, it was about the money. This set me off to no end, since I felt like I had upheld my end of the agreement. I arrived when I said I would and paid the fee he quoted.

 

But so, why am I glad this happened? Well, he was my first hire and I could feel myself getting all tangled up in an emtional knot of attachment. Not necessarilly, specifically to him, but I started showing signs of addiction: I was becoming more reckless in my decisions, spending money I should be saving for the divorce and constantly (and obsessively) looking for my next fix, i.e. hire.

 

But this experience brought me down so hard, that the next time I hired (a local unreviewed) guy, I went in with no strings at all and just had a fun, sexual roll in the metaphorical hay. And I've been able to "sober up", so to speak, and keep myself and my finances in check.

[caliguy]

Hour and a half late because he wanted to clean up his place. Then you say.. "He had a short fuse, snapped at me several times and made me feel very unwelcome."..and you still went through with it? Wow.

 

If it was so bad as you say why did you stick around after he left? You like being someone's doormat.

 

At any rate, seems that you've resolved the problem. Go with that.

[BabyBoomer]

Wolfer, Is this escort the same Patrick Michaels, who you spent 4hrs with this past June?

 

~ Boomer ~

[+ purplekow]

This overnight seems to have like a slap from Cher. Glad you were able to get your priorities in order, even it it did take a lot of prodding

[+ purplekow]

By the way, other than his rudeness, his nasty disposition, his sulking, his skulking off, his prolonged bouts of housekeeping, his inability to take responsibility for his own mistakes and his general miserableness, how was the sex?

[+ Gar1eth]

This overnight seems to have like a slap from Cher. Glad you were able to get your priorities in order, even it it did take a lot of prodding

 

That's one of my favorite movies. Cher looked so beautiful in the opera scene.

 

http://www.goopera.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/moonstruck460.jpg

 

 

 

 

And I used to think Mr. Cage was extremely hot in his younger days.

 

 

Gman

[Brian Kevin]

This is really terrible ! I am so sorry that he put you through all of this!!!! I would of loved to cuddle up with you all night into the morning! This one part caught my eye the most out of your whole post " To which he very gruffly responded: "You're already getting 20 hours on less than 12 hours pay, I'm just saying." and left."

If any client was paying for 12 hours of service fee's then you should be treated like a god, worshiped, have dinner cooked for you, massage(s) YES more than one. This is the point of an over night. To have a 'boy friend' experience. To cuddle... I've done about a dozen over nights and i always start mine off with a dozen of roses

 

Don't let this one failure get you down in the dirt!! There are good guys out there, I PROMISE!

[Wolfer]

Hour and a half late because he wanted to clean up his place. Then you say.. "He had a short fuse, snapped at me several times and made me feel very unwelcome."..and you still went through with it? Wow.

 

If it was so bad as you say why did you stick around after he left? You like being someone's doormat.

 

At any rate, seems that you've resolved the problem. Go with that.

Well, he was very apologetic about being late and very warm and affectionate at the start of the session. I've been asking myself the same question, though, why I didn't just leave when he went out to see his roommate. The snapping at me and such wasn't constantly, by the way, there were moments he was very warm and affectionate. I think that this, coupled with my visceral need at the time to have company (any company) and also because part of my brain just couldn't believe that this guy (who'd been so wonderful before) would really have behave this way. At the time I kept thinking I was just misinterpreting stuff. Obviously my brain wasn't working completely, due the emotional state I was in.

 

By the way, other than his rudeness, his nasty disposition, his sulking, his skulking off, his prolonged bouts of housekeeping, his inability to take responsibility for his own mistakes and his general miserableness, how was the sex?

The sex was amazing! Though we had had more sex in our previous afternoon session than during the whole 20 hour session... (In this case I was the one felt who shortchanged, even though I feel immature even thinking that)

[Wolfer]

This is really terrible ! I am so sorry that he put you through all of this!!!! I would of loved to cuddle up with you all night into the morning! This one part caught my eye the most out of your whole post " To which he very gruffly responded: "You're already getting 20 hours on less than 12 hours pay, I'm just saying." and left."

If any client was paying for 12 hours of service fee's then you should be treated like a god, worshiped, have dinner cooked for you, massage(s) YES more than one. This is the point of an over night. To have a 'boy friend' experience. To cuddle... I've done about a dozen over nights and i always start mine off with a dozen of roses

 

Don't let this one failure get you down in the dirt!! There are good guys out there, I PROMISE!

Aw, thank you for that kind response. After the session, I did wonder if maybe I just wasn't a good client for overnights... Funny you should mention massage's; I'm actually quite a skilled masseur and he was having some lower back problems so I gave him a proper therapeutic massage. This was in the morning, after all the jokes about his fee and I must say I had to bite my tongue to quote him MY rate for massages.

 

So, anyway, the epilogue is that we had some texting back and forth about the session (I prefer to call about these matters, but this wasn't an option at the time). He responded he was hurt and sad that he had made me feel this way and stressed that in no way had he wanted to make me intentionally uncomfortable.

After this he did mention that the fee "was on his mind the slightes" was because he felt an overnight should be 12 hours and cost (quoted his usual rate) and he thought I had said I would be arriving at 5pm (instead of 3pm).

I must admit that I did lay into him at that point... I think some residual anger about my divorce was certainly fueling the intensity of my response. I just could not believe he'd even think of pointing a finger at me (we set up everything through text, I even triple checked our texts from when we set up the appointment to make sure that I was correct, and yes, it was all right there, he confirmed me for 3pm, the rate etc...).

 

After this he did finally say that he WAS having personal issues that day (I suspected as much, as he was texting with his brother late at night during our session and I could tell he was really upset, which I think, also, made me tolerate his behaviour somewhat in the moment).

 

But slightly off-topic (yet also on-topic I guess). I'm glued to people I've noticed when I hire. Physically I mean. I want to cuddle, kiss, carress, hold their hands (besides sex). Does this make me a bad match for longer sessions? Am I asking too much?

[Brian Kevin]

After the session, I did wonder if maybe I just wasn't a good client for overnights... I know a lot of clients on here like to give escorts personal space but when I hire I am just GLUED to the guy (except for when I sleep, I don't like falling asleep in someone's arms).

 

So, anyway, the epilogue is that we had some texting back and forth about the session (I prefer to call about these matters, but this wasn't an option at the time). He responded he was hurt and sad that he had made me feel this way and stressed that in no way had he wanted to make me intentionally uncomfortable.

After this he did mention that the fee "was on his mind the slightes" was because he felt an overnight should be 12 hours and cost (quoted his usual rate) and he thought I had said I would be arriving at 5pm (instead of 3pm).

I must admit that I did lay into him at that point... I think some residual anger about my divorce was certainly fueling the intensity of my response. I just could not believe he'd even think of pointing a finger at me (we set up everything through text, I even triple checked our texts from when we set up the appointment to make sure that I was correct, and yes, it was all right there, he confirmed me for 3pm, the rate etc...).

 

After this he did finally say that he WAS having personal issues that day (I suspected as much, as he was texting with his brother late at night during our session and I could tell he was really upset, which I think, also, made me tolerate his behavior somewhat in the moment).

 

But slightly off-topic (yet also on-topic I guess). I'm glued to people I've noticed when I hire. Physically I mean. I want to cuddle, kiss, carress, hold their hands (besides sex). Does this make me a bad match for longer sessions? Am I asking too much?

 

 

Oh how much you warmed my heart here! NO that does not make you a bad person. ONE thing I must tell you, and I don't care if I piss someone off here-- But he CHOSE to respond to those texts. When I was a manager at Dunkin Donuts and Hess Express(now Speedway) I NEVER checked my phone at work, NEVER! That's setting yourself up for failure. When I'm in an active session with a client, I will never, by no means check my phone (unless i was nervous about meeting them and I had a code-work I would text my best friend who baby sits me when I'm in a situation like that via text) but outside of that, no matter the length of time of that session, you're paying for for UNDIVIDED attention! -- now I know NOT every masseur/escort is going to be thinking like this, but they should! When a rate is given for an amount of time the whole theory behind it is THEY are YOURS and YOU are THEIRS for that given time.

 

I think you might be trying to blame yourself for this good/bad session you had. I don't think you did anything wrong.

 

I want to support you by saying think of the positive times you had with him, and if the positive out weights the negative, then what more can you ask for. I just don't want YOU to blame yourself. There are MANY escorts who would line up in ads and outside doors (hypothetically) to have an understanding client like you who wants to cuddle, kiss and shit man, YOU EVEN SAID "I want to....caress..." That's basically you massaging us! I would never turn that down!

 

In closing, I'd like to remind you that NO you were NEVER asking for to much. I think someone just didn't take your meeting as serious as you do :'(

 

P:S: I'm not even going to say anything about him (practically) dumping you to go see another date, that was a VERY VERY VERY low blow on his end!!!!! That really made me frown when I read it.

 

I hope this helps you some friend.

[+ sync]

I myself am still learning to speak up in situations like these.

 

I can so relate to that. For most of my life I was the world's doormat-at-large. That changed when I read a commentary that stated people who take advantage of your generosity, insult you, or otherwise abuse you are fully aware of what they are doing. I discovered that I could soundly confront individuals without sacrificing my dignity (no profanities/obscenities).

 

Until I get to his place... He was an hour and a half late. (he asked me to wait in a nearby Starbucks till he had his flat sorted out). And throughout the session he was constantly making very inappropriate remarks and jokes about the fee, payment and "this is extra"... It was obvious he meant these remarks in jest, but he would not stop making them, which made me feel uncomfortable.

 

In this instance I might of said: You appear to be dissatisfied with the terms you agreed to for this meeting. Perhaps we need to reschedule, or just forget about it altogether.

 

I don't like confrontations, but I have learned to not fear them...it is very likely you will too.

[Nebost]

I am very sorry this happened to you, especially since you let him name his price and the terms were quite clear. You were a repeat client on an overnight, he really should have done right by you. The jokes about being a cheap deal are especially insulting to me.

 

I would say go ahead and post a second review when it's time...the first review as it stands alone, is not at all reflective of your sum experience and feelings about your time with him. You'll feel better that you got your complete opinion out. Prospective clients won't be mislead thinking everything is great with this guy. (You wouldn't want others seeing your 1st review alone and earning him additional business, including possibly overnights, would you?) If he sees it in print, it may give him pause on how he handled his interaction with you, and he might change for the better. In his rush (dirty house, roomate lost keys, focus on low dollars per hour), it may be totally lost upon him that he did not treat you right...after all he mostly fulfilled the extended time required (at least in his mind), and you did do the expected activities. He may even be thinking he went the extra mile to rush prepare his pad for you, you stayed extra hours, and he charged you too little for all that extra service. Perspective is everything, and some people are really that obtuse.

[Rudynate]

 

After the session I wrote to him explaining how I felt and asking what was up. I was hoping he would say he was having a bad day... But no, it was about the money. This set me off to no end, since I felt like I had upheld my end of the agreement. I arrived when I said I would and paid the fee he quoted.

 

 

People get crazy when money's involved. I knew a tilesetter once who would occasionally give people great deals if he needed to generate come cash. Halfway through the job he would start ruminating about the fabulous deal the people were getting and started to resent it. Sometimes he managed to work himself up so much that he would walk off the job and refuse to finish it.

 

For me, an experience with an escort needs to be the stuff of fantasies and I don't mind paying what it costs to have that near-perfect experience. When he started all the cracks about money, I would have nipped it really quickly, maybe even cancelled the remainder of the session.

[+ Gar1eth]

 

For me, an experience with an escort needs to be the stuff of fantasies and I don't mind paying what it costs to have that near-perfect experience. When he started all the cracks about money, I would have nipped it really quickly, maybe even cancelled the remainder of the session.

 

Ahh- but your quote about money may come into effect here. While when I hired for short one or two hour sessions, I usually offered a donation afterwards. But for longer times, I was more likely to donate upfront. There's a good chance, Wolfer had already donated. In that case the choice is to leave and feel bad or to tough it out and hope it gets better.

 

Gman

[Nebost]

 

But slightly off-topic (yet also on-topic I guess). I'm glued to people I've noticed when I hire. Physically I mean. I want to cuddle, kiss, carress, hold their hands (besides sex). Does this make me a bad match for longer sessions? Am I asking too much?

 

No you are not asking too much at all. A great escort , especially one known for the BFE should be quite good at intimacy, and should be well aware that it is a main reason clients hire overnight, rather than for an hour or two. Sort of like if you are not comforatble math, don't become a mathematician, if an escort wants to do overnights, he should be comfortable with intimacy. Just the other week I had an amazing overnight, besides the full throttle sex sessions, he was engaging and intimate the entire time....touching my shoulder gently while I was driving, wrapping his whole hunky body around me while waiting for the shower to warm up, discreetly pressing his thigh up to mine while we were waiting for our table at the bar. When finally it came time to sleep he insisted on being the outer spoon, and then proceeded to wrap his thighs and ankles around me and fall into a deep cuddle-slumber. He was wired for intimacy. It was *so* very endearing.

[rvwnsd]

Kudos to you for finding a silver lining in an otherwise dark cloud. If the escort thought the agreed-upon price was too low and/or the starting and ending times too early and late, he could have said something when you confirmed. I'm guessing you would have been unhappy, but at least you would have been afforded the opportunity to cancel and would not have gone through this experience.

[MiamiLooker]

Another good example of an escort being forced (was the gun that was held to his head ever found?) to negotiate and accept a lower fee than they think they’re worth. Bad client…bad, bad, bad client.

[Brian Kevin]

Another good example of an escort being forced (was the gun that was held to his head ever found?) to negotiate and accept a lower fee than they think they’re worth. Bad client…bad, bad, bad client.

 

I have a lot to say; but I don't even know how I'd react to such a situation. The wind was taken out of my lungs here. That's just distasteful. Glad to see all you gentlemen care enough to avoid engagements like this

[Amoco]

Had a similar experience with a guy I had reviewed positively and seen regularly. One day I decided to spring for a hot room at a local 4-5 star place for 4-5 hours in the early evening for $1,000, a previously negotiated rate for overnights which I agreed to pay him despite the fact that I covered the hotel room and was there for a relatively short time. Despite our agreement for $1,000 and an added $100 tip = $1,100, when I paid him he muttered under his breath I thought it was going to be for more". Over the next six months, that interaction became a metaphor for several disagreements about money and boundary questions concerning my other hires. I was clearly annoyed and seeking some acknowledgement and apology, but instead his response was a paraphrased version of "So I did some passive aggressive stuff. Why such a big deal?? Your anger is about xyz and not this nonsense". True story. Recent.

[Odinochka]

I'm going to come off super cunty, but here goes.....if you are just coming out of a 13 year relationship & are an emotional wreck, then you may be better served investing in a good therapist rather than an contractor. There were far too many warning lights popping up in this story. If you need emotional support & psychological validation (to a degree), then a contractor really is not the way to go--my opinion. this is the wheelhouse for a mental health professional, and while there ARE contractors who are clinical therapists in their day jobs, a session with them goes from dirty-dirty-nasty-nasty to analysis of the client.

 

Told you I was going to come off cunty...

[cany10011]

Money is a great equalizer only when both parties think they are getting something equitable out of it. This guy obviously thought his time was worth more and was resentful. I would have just offered him whatever his actual rate was and be done with it. I can't stand the emotional stress of spending time with someone I knew wasn't happy being there... especially on the level of intimacy/sex you were expecting.

[Wolfer]

People get crazy when money's involved. I knew a tilesetter once who would occasionally give people great deals if he needed to generate come cash. Halfway through the job he would start ruminating about the fabulous deal the people were getting and started to resent it. Sometimes he managed to work himself up so much that he would walk off the job and refuse to finish it.

 

For me, an experience with an escort needs to be the stuff of fantasies and I don't mind paying what it costs to have that near-perfect experience. When he started all the cracks about money, I would have nipped it really quickly, maybe even cancelled the remainder of the session.

That's an interesting analogy, I feel like something like this happened with the escort too...

 

Another good example of an escort being forced (was the gun that was held to his head ever found?) to negotiate and accept a lower fee than they think they’re worth. Bad client…bad, bad, bad client.

Uum, yeaaaah, just gonna assume this is a joke... moving on...

 

I'm going to come off super cunty, but here goes.....if you are just coming out of a 13 year relationship & are an emotional wreck, then you may be better served investing in a good therapist rather than an contractor. There were far too many warning lights popping up in this story. If you need emotional support & psychological validation (to a degree), then a contractor really is not the way to go--my opinion. this is the wheelhouse for a mental health professional, and while there ARE contractors who are clinical therapists in their day jobs, a session with them goes from dirty-dirty-nasty-nasty to analysis of the client.

 

Told you I was going to come off cunty...

Oh, no, I agree with what you're saying. And I was in (quite intensive) regular therapy at the time too. The hire for me was certainly not to have therapy, it was more to be "away from my life", so to speak. On the other hand, I seem to remember you've never hired before? Before I hired I always found it a bit funny that some clients would refer to escorts as "therapists". Having hired a couple of times myself now, I get why someone would call them that. Really good escorts can make you feel a lot better, just by holding a safe space for the client to be in (in doing so allowing the clients to let their hair down and let go of insecurities). So while I agree that I wasn't in an ideal state emotionally (but then, who ever is?), I was still nice company to be with (aside from one ugly cry I had *cough*). We all hire for different reasons, but I don't think looking for (shortlived fantasy) emotional support is a reason not to hire... I think that's what the whole boyfriend experience is about.

 

Money is a great equalizer only when both parties think they are getting something equitable out of it. This guy obviously thought his time was worth more and was resentful. I would have just offered him whatever his actual rate was and be done with it. I can't stand the emotional stress of spending time with someone I knew wasn't happy being there... especially on the level of intimacy/sex you were expecting.

I wouldn't have been able to, since he never did quote me what his "regular" fee would be for an extented overnight. I asked and he gave me a number, to which I agreed (thinking he quoted me the right amount). I never negotiated... He did tell me afterwards it was the first time he'd ever done a session of more than 12 hours (he's only been escorting for about a year).

 

His heart's in the right place, as far as I can tell and I feel like it was just an unfortunate series of circumstances and misunderstandings that led to this (and also, he's just really bad at scheduling, but that's a whole other story!)... There's always two sides to a story. I mean, here on the forum there are escorts that some people adore while other people can't utter a single good word about those same escorts... So my experience with the guy might have been an isolated incident. Or maybe I have Stockholm syndrome, who knows? (But I won't be hiring him to find out.) He did backtrack completely on his money comments when I pointed to our original text conversation (so he actually saw with his own eyes I wasn't making stuff up). Well, I say backtrack, more like glossing over them as if he'd never said them in the first place... Oh well, he did apologize for the jokes, though.

 

Nebost, thank you thank you thank you for telling me that you had an overnight like that. That's exactly the type of session I would like to have with an escort. Glad to know there are guys out there who can do that. I would love to fall asleep in a guy's arms.

[+ DickyF]

Lateness to appointments I'm indulgent of, when it's due to him being disorganized. Surliness however I will not tolerate. Fortunately it happened just once, and I cut the session short for that reason.

[Rudynate]

After the session, I did wonder if maybe I just wasn't a good client for overnights...

 

That's a good point. I'm not saying whether you are or you aren't. It's a good question to ask yourself. Maybe you're a one-hour guy or 2-3 hour guy. I'm a 2-3 hour guy. I will say that I am toying with the idea of an overnight to see if it is possible, at my age, to have one of those nights of endless sex with someone that I already know.

[mike carey]

I've never thought of an overnight appointment as being a night of endless sex. More like extended chatting maybe with dinner, sex before and/or after the chat/dinner part, then being intimate over night. Maybe more sex in the morning, maybe just breakfast. That scenario would be nice. Not that I would discount the idea of endless sex!!

 

Of course that sounds like a nice date as well. Not just a nice escort appointment!