What differentiates the paying client from the sugar daddy?

[Mocha]

I've come to realize, as I have been aware of before...that there's a whole other world out there of men who will spend well beyond the average rate of an escort, on 1 guy, and do it over a sustained period of time (though from what I witnessed, these arrangements tend to not last much longer than a year or 2).

 

Now, I'm not just talking about a sugar daddy who's having "relations" with the guy they're spending money on. I'm talking about a whole other breed of man. The ones who are spending money on a guy they're not even having sex with. In addition, that guy is seeing other people.

 

I have a friend who recently told me the guy who's been supporting him nearly full-time. So far, this guy allows him the keys to his 2nd apartment, buys all his drinks/tattoos, spending money, and just recently flew him round trip to New York with $2,000 spending money. And as a reminder, my friend (using that word loosely as he's more of a quasi-acquitence) is not having sex with the guy.

 

On top of that, I've met this guy. A few times. I've hung around the both of them and their relationship is very co-dependent, and non-official. The sugar daddy is like a doormat, but my friend is an opportunist. The $1,800 a month apartment is already trashed 2 months in. Drugs, partying, cigarettes, etc. The guy isn't some frail old man either. He's a partying 50 year old in decent shape, but happens to be partially married/separated whatever.

 

I'm just curious, why do people allow themselves to get into these arrangements? And how can a man spend thousands on a man who's not willing to sleep with them (one can argue he's making it up, but I don't think so). As an escort, no I don't have to maintain a full time job, but at the same time...even the most seasoned client is not likely to spend $800 on a ticket, then give $2,000 cash spending money on an escort he's not going to sleep with. That's just getting handouts.

 

Can anyone make sense of this? BTW, I'm not jealous or worried, but my friend volunteers all this info to me...it just doesn't make sense to me.

[Guest]

Great friends you have... I very much doubt there isn't sex as part of the bargain. Either that or there's something more nefarious (he's a drug dealer, perhaps?) going on.

[+ purplekow]

Scheherazade

[+ azdr0710]

Scheherazade

 

ha...I learn something new every time I log on to the board.....

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scheherazade

 

in particular, read the "Narration" section.....

[+ Gar1eth]

Scheherazade

 

But at least Scheherazade was telling the king bedtime stories. Who knows? She might even have brought him milk and Oreos. It doesn't sound like Mocha's "friend" is doing any of that.

 

Gman

[+ FreshFluff]

Scheherazade

 

"So the hustler goes, 'Give me a million and the title to your Audi, or I'll bring your house down!' And the rich guy was like .. Oh crap, it's dawn."

[+ FreshFluff]

IAnd as a reminder, my friend (using that word loosely as he's more of a quasi-acquitence) is not having sex with the guy.

 

Are you sure this acquaintance is telling you the truth? He may be saying this to save face especially especially if he's mostly straight.

[+ Gar1eth]

"So the hustler goes, 'Give me a million and the title to your Audi, or I'll bring your house down!' And the rich guy was like .. Oh crap, it's dawn."

 

I didn't get this.

 

Gman

[BabyBoomer]

I didn't get this.

 

Gman

 

Think pornstar Jarec Wentworth & millionaire Donald Burns.

 

~ Boomer ~

[+ Gar1eth]

"So the hustler goes, 'Give me a million and the title to your Audi, or I'll bring your house down!' And the rich guy was like .. Oh crap, it's dawn."

 

I didn't get this.

 

Gman

 

Think pornstar Jarec Wentworth & millionaire Donald Burns.

 

~ Boomer ~

 

Well ok I got that part of it. But I don't understand what that had to do with Scheherazade.

 

Gman

[robberbaron4u]

The title to the condominium unit and the Mercedes motor car is in the name of the "sweet thing". . .

[+ purplekow]

Well ok I got that part of it. But I don't understand what that had to do with Scheherazade.

 

Gman

I believe she was implying that the escort was telling the rich guy a story and then dawn broke and he was kept for another day.

[+ purplekow]

But at least Scheherazade was telling the king bedtime stories. Who knows? She might even have brought him milk and Oreos. It doesn't sound like Mocha's "friend" is doing any of that.

 

Gman

Obsession. AH the smell of it.

[+ FreshFluff]

I believe she was implying that the escort was telling the rich guy a story and then dawn broke and he was kept for another day.

 

I meant that Mocha's friend, a kept boy himself, was telling a modern version of was the Scheherazade story. It wasn't really funny enough to merit an explanation.

[+ purplekow]

I meant that Mocha's friend, a kept boy himself, was telling a modern version of was the Scheherazade story. It wasn't really funny enough to merit an explanation.

Gar1eth asked for one. Now he has two, pretty much the same, but you would know better what you meant in your own post,.

[Tonyko]

NOT for nothin' but wondering IF the S. Daddy who's partially married is married to a woman?? Because this kind of relationship with the kept guy is WAY typical, alotta men ENJOY being doormats, used, taken advantage of etc, and I think it comes from some need to be "punished" because they feel they "deserve" it. I've seen these relationships and, as poster stated, it ain't always frail old men many times it's guys who got it goin' on. There are men INTO being blackmailed too etc, it's the same thang. AND I ain't so sure the kept guy is lyin' when he says there's no "physical" relationship, I've seen that too. I also have a bud lil older than me who keeps a boy pays for everthing his apt his acting classes etc and the boy treats him like shit and I know my friend get's NADA in the way of sex in return from the boy. I don't understand it. But it's real.

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

...even the most seasoned client is not likely to spend $800 on a ticket, then give $2,000 cash spending money on an escort he's not going to sleep with. That's just getting handouts.

 

I can imagine a scenario of hiring an escort for a weekend trip and not having any physical connection during our time together. I personally have difficultly finding friends willing to travel and do some of the things I might want to do. If an escort was willing to do the same things I planned for a trip, I might prefer to pay $2000 so I'm not eating meals alone and recalling the events of the day solo.

[+ sync]

I'm just curious, why do people allow themselves to get into these arrangements? And how can a man spend thousands on a man who's not willing to sleep with them (one can argue he's making it up, but I don't think so). As an escort, no I don't have to maintain a full time job, but at the same time...even the most seasoned client is not likely to spend $800 on a ticket, then give $2,000 cash spending money on an escort he's not going to sleep with. That's just getting handouts.

 

Can anyone make sense of this? BTW, I'm not jealous or worried, but my friend volunteers all this info to me...it just doesn't make sense to me.

 

I cannot make sense of this behavior either. I was once acquainted with a gentleman (happy-hour acquaintance) who was "helping" a bartender with whom he was helplessly and hopelessly infatuated by occasionally paying the bartender's rent, medical expenses, articles of clothing, spending cash, whatever with no intimate benefits. The bartender seemed to be very personable and respectful and was openly, monogamously partnered with another man. When it comes to someone's voluntary personal relationship choices, I try not to be judgmental. The only thing that disturbed me about this relationship is that the gentleman with whom I was acquainted was/is not financially independent, and, at the time, was seeking part-time positions to supplement his fixed income.

[Irtwo]

I've known guys who pay for n0-sex companionship, as well. I think its more common than you might think.

[YoungAD]

I've come to realize, as I have been aware of before...that there's a whole other world out there of men who will spend well beyond the average rate of an escort, on 1 guy, and do it over a sustained period of time (though from what I witnessed, these arrangements tend to not last much longer than a year or 2).

 

Now, I'm not just talking about a sugar daddy who's having "relations" with the guy they're spending money on. I'm talking about a whole other breed of man. The ones who are spending money on a guy they're not even having sex with. In addition, that guy is seeing other people.

 

I have a friend who recently told me the guy who's been supporting him nearly full-time. So far, this guy allows him the keys to his 2nd apartment, buys all his drinks/tattoos, spending money, and just recently flew him round trip to New York with $2,000 spending money. And as a reminder, my friend (using that word loosely as he's more of a quasi-acquitence) is not having sex with the guy.

 

On top of that, I've met this guy. A few times. I've hung around the both of them and their relationship is very co-dependent, and non-official. The sugar daddy is like a doormat, but my friend is an opportunist. The $1,800 a month apartment is already trashed 2 months in. Drugs, partying, cigarettes, etc. The guy isn't some frail old man either. He's a partying 50 year old in decent shape, but happens to be partially married/separated whatever.

 

I'm just curious, why do people allow themselves to get into these arrangements? And how can a man spend thousands on a man who's not willing to sleep with them (one can argue he's making it up, but I don't think so). As an escort, no I don't have to maintain a full time job, but at the same time...even the most seasoned client is not likely to spend $800 on a ticket, then give $2,000 cash spending money on an escort he's not going to sleep with. That's just getting handouts.

 

Can anyone make sense of this? BTW, I'm not jealous or worried, but my friend volunteers all this info to me...it just doesn't make sense to me.

 

It sounds like the guy is looking for an enabler and the escort fits the bill. Also, if your friend is truly an opportunist then he's not the kind of person you want as a friend. He may turn that on you one day.

[Steven_Draker]

ha...I learn something new every time I log on to the board.....

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scheherazade

 

You've never been a child and listening to Scheherazade and 1001 Nights at bedtime?

 

For me it was Scheherazade and Hans Christian Andersen.

[jakeleyman]

I have been enabling a young guy for five years. He doesn't even live in the same state right now. I have bought him vehicles, sent his four figures when he was in trouble, offered him a college scholarship when he gets his act together, paid his rent from time to time.

 

He is no angel, currently on probation for some sort of altercation. He has sold or does sell drugs.

He has been extremely nice to me, is personally very funny, interesting, nice and of course very cute. I believe in him and wish him to do well.

 

Enabling is control, bought friendship; it's ridiculous, self-deprecating; it's part illness, part generosity, part strength, part stupidity. It is exciting, like betting a grand on a horse race. It is dumb, like betting a grand on a horse race. It's a high for me to send him money or buy him a truck. It is one of the most enjoyable things I have ever done.

[+ Gar1eth]

I have been enabling a young guy for five years. He doesn't even live in the same state right now. I have bought him vehicles, sent his four figures when he was in trouble, offered him a college scholarship when he gets his act together, paid his rent from time to time.

 

He is no angel, currently on probation for some sort of altercation. He has sold or does sell drugs.

He has been extremely nice to me, is personally very funny, interesting, nice and of course very cute. I believe in him and wish him to do well.

 

Enabling is control, bought friendship; it's ridiculous, self-deprecating; it's part illness, part generosity, part strength, part stupidity. It is exciting, like betting a grand on a horse race. It is dumb, like betting a grand on a horse race. It's a high for me to send him money or buy him a truck. It is one of the most enjoyable things I have ever done.

 

I'm glad it's good for you. It actually sounds a lot like altruism. You are making an investment in this guy. I, while I like to think I'm a fairly decent guy, would most likely in this case feel horribly taken advantage of. I guess it might depend on the feeling of friendship I felt being returned by the other guy. I feel like I've been on the edge of things most of my life. If I felt as if all I were doing was buying friendship, it would just be another blow to my self-esteem.

 

Gman

[rguer]

It's a high for me to send him money or buy him a truck. It is one of the most enjoyable things I have ever done.

 

OK, now I really really want to be a sugar daddy. Please send money so I can do this.

[gallahadesquire]

... The $1,800 a month apartment is already trashed 2 months in. Drugs, partying, cigarettes, etc. The guy isn't some frail old man either. He's a partying 50 year old in decent shape, but happens to be partially married/separated whatever.

 

THAT I don't get. One wonders where the line between "sugar daddy relationship" and "extortion / blackmail [yeah, I know there's a difference] is drawn.