Good Question For Both Clients And Escorts

[tampajohn]

Sticks and stones

[+ stevenkesslar]

 

I would say that the best reaction (or lack of reaction) to a negative comment depends on both what was written but also who wrote it. If it's a well-known provocateur, then it's best to not fall into that person's trap. Not only will they never let up, even if it's clear that their original point of view is untenable, but one of their goals is to make the other person look bad due to their vehement defense; the only way to "win" in a situation like that is to take the high road and, if absolutely necessary, provide a very brief response that states the content of the negative post isn't true.

 

For those of you who are escorts, I imagine it takes quite a bit of effort to be open without being too open, to be enthusiastic without seeming too self-promoting, to be thoughtful without coming across as arrogant, etc.

 

Boy, did you hit the nail on the head. As long as I've been around this forum, there's always been certain people that just get off off on provoking with an intent not to joke, but to just be plain mean.

 

It's actually a little more sublime than what you said. I'm assuming part of the goal of provocateurs is to get a negative reaction, so they'd probably be delighted to knew what escorts they don't like and criticize say about them privately. What they might not be as happy about is what the escorts they actually pay for sex say about them privately. I've run into these situations several times, and at least in my view there can't be anything worse than paying money to have sex with an escort who then talks about what an asshole you are to other escorts.

 

The flip side of this equation is that over the 15 years I've escorted some of my former clients have become very close personal friends. You sound like a thoughtful guy, so I'm sure you could understand how something like that could happen. The building blocks of these friendships are time, trust, and support, which are not strong skill sets of the provocateurs, at least in terms of how they express themselves on this forum. So they are kind of stuck in this shallow world of having negative perceptions that the escorts they hire tend to reinforce. Not being interested in or good at respect, my guess is the guys who like to provoke and put in digs on this forum wouldn't feel like they are missing anything if they knew that some escorts develop long-term friendships with clients - but just not clients like them.

 

Oh well, we all reap what we sow.

[+ purplekow]

My gut and I appreciate that

[Despardo]

As a client, I'd let them know they're a jerk, suggest they mind their own damned business, and tell them to keep out of my way if they know what's good for them. .http://www.boytoy.com/forums/public/style_emoticons/default/mad.gif

 

As an escort, I'd apologize for any offense caused, thank them for taking the time to share their invaluable insight, and promise to try harder in the days to come. .http://www.boytoy.com/forums/public/style_emoticons/default/angel.png

 

As Deej or Daddy, I'd put 'em on time-out so fast it would make their head spin. http://smileys.emoticonsonly.com/emoticons/s/spinning-2143.gif

That response from an escort is the best way to spin the issue to his favor. It suggests he possesses qualities other clients may value, such as class, reserve, dignity, and professionalism. And, it makes the client who made the uncalled for remark look like a schmuck.

[+ purplekow]

As to the first posting. Sometimes negative comments are accurate reflections of what is going on. We may not wish to face it, or may choose not to see it that way or in some cases we would rather have had the negative comment be presented in a more collegial, polite manner which shows that the original comments were not meant to be mean spirited and in presenting them politely, removes the sting, (which in Whipped Guys case, takes all the fun out of it). Sometimes negative comments can sting more just in the phrasing.

Your home smells of dog. Negative but not demeaning.

Your whole home smells like wet dog. Similar, but the addition of whole and wet (and usually I love a wet whole) makes it not just negative but a bit malicious.

S0, consider the facts of the negative comment. Negative is not always wrong.

Consider the presentation of the negative comment. Is it a switch to the ass or light slap to the cheek.

Consider how badly you need to strike back.

[Bargara Leatherboy]

I always try and discover the intention of the comment and proceed from there.

[Guest countryboywny]

I've made no secret of the fact that I don't like negativity on the board. Differences of opinion can be shared respectfully without personal attacks and snide remarks. Don't misunderstand me, I love a good joke and an occasional "ball-bust" for sure, but the Golden Rule applies in most all situations. Interjecting negative remarks to a thread just because one doesn't like the subject really bugs me. There are plenty of subjects on this board that I find anywhere from boring to distasteful. I just ignore the thread, I don't feel the need to go in there and express my distaste.

[+ poolboy48220]

"If you can't say something nice, come sit next to me".

[+ stevenkesslar]

"If you can't say something nice, come sit next to me".

 

Um, can't I sit on top of you?

[AdamSmith]

"If you can't say something nice, come sit next to me".

 

Now I know who I'll be if I ever create a sock puppet on here.

 

[Epigonos]

In one form or another, this topic continues to reoccur on this site and I always respond the exact same way. I don’t get it!!!!! Maybe it is the fact that I taught high school for over thirty years that caused me to develop a thick skin but I don’t think so. Let’s say some anonymous individual on this site call me a “stupid fuckin’ silly old faggot” why should I give a shit. The asshole doesn’t know me, he/she isn’t a friend of mine, and he/she isn’t a member of my family so again why should I give a shit what he/she thinks of me – fuck um . People some of us seriously need to grow thicker skin and not be so sensitive regarding what irrelevant, anonymous people think of us or say about us on a web forum.

[+ sf westcoaster]

If you decide to address the comment, do not do it on the Forum, use private messaging. The Forum can be extremely toxic and I think that is why so few escorts participate.

[JDXXX]

I would ignore it totally. A lot of times people seem to get off on the back and forth. If you don't reply it ends just as quick as it began. I think you've more than proven yourself to this industry and don't need to address any petty remarks. Proper ladies don't argue in public

 

Thank you, Killian. I just love you, man. You're absolutely right, baby as I couldn't agree with you more. Thanks for being such a supportive, loving, and caring friend which simply takes care of my question on how to handle such petty comments completely. You're input to this thread means a lot, along with many members here on the forum have made me think real hard on what to do when these negative matters here on the forum come up, and what you just said made total sense - " Proper ladies don't argue in public". I couldn't said it better.

 

As a "Class Act" escort, I gotta be sure to sure to address the negative problem in a "class act" manner, and that's exactly what I'm going to do as I won't give in to such immature behavior. I'm a good person with a kind heart, and gonna continue to hold my head up high by being myself, and not let negative people get to me as like I was told by a "certain" love one yesterday that people like this are only trying to tear you down, and he too was absolutely right on the money, and I'm not gonna to let that happen.

 

Just because they're negative towards me doesn't mean I need to give in by responding as that's feeding into the villians game, and the best way to win at they're game is like you said, baby(and you're right) is to dismiss the comment, and move forward. Erase the persons as it never existed.

 

There is the answer to my solution. .

 

Thank you, sweetie as I greatly appreciate your input as always. You're awesome.

 

HUGS,

[AdamSmith]

Also...

 

http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/img-thing?.out=jpg&size=l&tid=59979612

[+ Charlie]

"If you can't say something nice, come sit next to me".

I believe this quote is usually attributed to Alice Roosevelt Longworth, Teddy's incorrigible daughter by his first wife.

[JDXXX]

If it's a well-known provocateur, then it's best to not fall into that person's trap. Not only will they never let up, even if it's clear that their original point of view is untenable, but one of their goals is to make the other person look bad due to their vehement defense; the only way to "win" in a situation like that is to take the high road and, if absolutely necessary, provide a very brief response that states the content of the negative post isn't true. On the other hand, if the negative post was made by someone who is generally perceived as being a reasonable person, you might want to reply by correcting factual errors and, if warranted, offering an apology for whatever happened that caused the misunderstanding.

 

One of the good things for clients posting here is that our livelihoods don't depend on people liking our personalities as displayed on line. For those of you who are escorts, I imagine it takes quite a bit of effort to be open without being too open, to be enthusiastic without seeming too self-promoting, to be thoughtful without coming across as arrogant, etc.

 

+1. Well said, Maninsoma. I couldn't agree with you that taking the "high road" in situations like this is the best solution to win a conflict in one being negative towards someone who is of a positive nature. I know the forum member has made some offensive, and snide comments here on the forum, and is known at times as a "provocateur" who has made displeasing comments pertaining to me or others here on the forum which is why I had decided to come up with this thread to get others input on how to handle this person's wicked game in trying to shut me or others down, and what you said is quite classy as I love classy people such as yourself giving great advice. Your input is well appreciated, sweetheart, and I sincerely Thank you. .

 

Thank you.

[JDXXX]

tanman4u is so correct...the level of respect/disrespect here is mild...reading posts after a news story I'm shocked that big Corps such as Xfinity/Gannett would let people post hate speech on a daily basis....#1 target?...race baiting and the hate that goes with it...Have an accident?..your fault...sorry you didn't die...crazy stuff....This forum is mostly rainbows..unicorns and marshmallows...I love marshmallows...

 

How's this, Thick - You bring the Marshmallows, I'll bring the gram crackers, and hershey chocolates to make us some yummy Smores? . I love some good roasting tasty Smores by an open campfire. Don't you??

 

http://chicocru.com/wp-content/uploads/camp-481x230.png

 

 

 

http://blog.udr.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/CampfireSmores.jpg

 

http://whatscookingamerica.net/Cookie/Smores/Smores2.jpg

[craigville beach]

I believe this quote is usually attributed to Alice Roosevelt Longworth, Teddy's incorrigible daughter by his first wife.

 

members of my family knew Alice socially. she was stingy with words but the words she used made her point.

[Mocha]

How would you handle a possible negative comment thrown at you on the forum as a client or as an escort?

 

Do you guys think it's best for the escort or client to comment on the negative comment or ignore it?

 

I'd say it's best to comment on the negative comment, but in a calm, but classy manner.

 

What do you guys think? Any suggestions?

 

I think it all depends on a person's demeanor. Quoting Killian James, walking away and ignoring can be a passive approach to a matter, which crosses that slippery slope into passive aggressive...which if you google, it's rarely spoken well about.

 

BUT, on the Internet, it's an uphill battle. Personally, I think a person has the right to address anything that is said about themselves. I think the best way, is to address it once, and let it be. Stand your ground. But don't feed into it either.

 

That said, I had a guy tell me he was passive aggressive, classy, etc. Well, I said something about him at the club, because he said some very bad things about me. I just wanted to see what kind of person he really was. All I can say is, the 'cute, quiet, otter boy-new kid on the block from Palm Springs' turned into a loud, profane, hootchie mama from Miami in a split second. Exactly what I wanted everyone to see. But not the image me and JD Daniels want to be coaxed into displaying.

[Guest countryboywny]

people like this are only trying to tear you down

 

Those words hit a chord for me. In a past incarnation of myself, I was an unhappy man. I used insults with a sharp tongue (under the guise of humor) to either bring my friends down to my level or to make myself feel superior. One day it all hit me and I realized what I was doing, I was alienating the very people that I loved the most. I realized that even though it was done like a humorous "ball bust", and people would look at me and smile or laugh so to get along, inside it's hurtful and tiresome.

 

I am not completely cured, but I have made big strides in curtailing my sharp tongue. I became more outwardly caring and loving to my friends and you know what? I learned that I didn't need to put people down to feel good, just the opposite, I felt their warmth and genuine smile and it was WAY better. I always try to build people up, not tear them down. Sorry about the cliche but the love you give is equal to the love you get. Like James Taylor sang, "Shower the people you love, with love."

[jcmiami1]

There are people out there who get their rocks off causing trouble and chaos. They're miserable, unhappy AND jealous people who want to cut up anyone who they perceive as being happy. Being cool calm and collective is the best way I think to deal with them cause they wanna cause chaos ... And they couldn't this time so most likely they disappear

[JDXXX]

There are people out there who get their rocks off causing trouble and chaos. They're miserable, unhappy AND jealous people who want to cut up anyone who they perceive as being happy. Being cool calm and collective is the best way I think to deal with them cause they wanna cause chaos ... And they couldn't this time so most likely they disappear

 

You hit it dead right on the nose, JC. Exactly the same way I see it as well.

 

Thank you for your input as you hit it right dead on to what's going on here of why I created this thread. .

[JDXXX]

I think it all depends on a person's demeanor. Quoting Killian James, walking away and ignoring can be a passive approach to a matter, which crosses that slippery slope into passive aggressive...which if you google, it's rarely spoken well about.

 

BUT, on the Internet, it's an uphill battle. Personally, I think a person has the right to address anything that is said about themselves. I think the best way, is to address it once, and let it be. Stand your ground. But don't feed into it either.

 

That said, I had a guy tell me he was passive aggressive, classy, etc. Well, I said something about him at the club, because he said some very bad things about me. I just wanted to see what kind of person he really was. All I can say is, the 'cute, quiet, otter boy-new kid on the block from Palm Springs' turned into a loud, profane, hootchie mama from Miami in a split second. Exactly what I wanted everyone to see. But not the image me and JD Daniels want to be coaxed into displaying.

 

I agree, Mocha. I too feel people in today society have the right to express themselves however way they may see fit which is where the freedom of speech comes into play here, but there's a fine line where you speak your mind to a point of being offending others, and this is where it gets sour in taking it in with a grain of salt, and being the bigger, but yet better person in this case.

 

However, this is where you have to just let the person have they're say, and move on with your head up high - not let what they may have said negative about you get you down thinking second thoughts about yourself as not everyone may not agree with this individual who's they too can see is trying to bring you down. Others who may read they're post can see as plain as day this is a negative human being who is out to get someone who is most likely liked for being a positive impact to others, and just only want to bring this positive person down to they're level. Once they see your not biting into the bait, they'll learn to lay off, and let you be which is why I would post this quote in hopes they'll get the message by reading this. Tell me what you think, baby......

 

http://inspiremetoday.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Quote-Never-allow-negativ.jpg

 

http://cdn3.geckoandfly.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/short-quotes-personal10.jpg