Bisexual or Buysexual

[+ purplekow]

I have been seeing an escort fairly regularly for the last few months. I initially enjoyed both the sex and the company and while the company has gotten better, I have been enjoying our sessions less and less. This is mostly as a result of his lack of responsiveness. He is very talented sexually and he states that he is Bisexual but he does not seem to be enjoying the act. When I ask him about it, he says he is enjoying himself but it is difficult for me to believe that a man who has had enough sexual experience to get to be as good as he is, is not better at relating his pleasure or at the very least, faking it better.

My new theory is that he is straight and not Bi.

Since one of my turn ons is having my partner enjoy the act, I am about to stop seeing him. However, he is local, available and talented so it is not as cut and dry as it seems.

My question to the forum: How important to your enjoyment is the enjoyment of your partner? Anyone else out there think they are hiring a straight man posing as bisexual or gay?

[+ Robster]

The enjoyment of my partner is extremely important to my enjoyment. It's a dealbreaker for me. If I feel he's not into it, I can't get into it either.

 

Rob

[+ purplekow]

The enjoyment of my partner is extremely important to my enjoyment. It's a dealbreaker for me. If I feel he's not into it, I can't get into it either.

 

Rob

I AM taking notes.

[+ WilliamM]

Trust your instincts, PK. I have been reading your posts for a long time, and have faith in your thought process.

[AdamSmith]

Each of the following could work to shift this LTR with this escort into a new & higher key (speaking from experience):

 

Hire a girl together.

 

Take Ecstasy together.

[whipped guy]

There is something special when one knows that the other side of the equation is enjoying themselves as well. I have done "gay for pay" only when the the guy possessed such an outstanding body that I absolutely needed to get a piece of him... In fact I hired one such guy a number of times... but something was missing... Like passion... The last time that I saw him something just rubbed me the wrong way and I decided that we had run our course and it was over.

 

So I say listen to what your inner gut is saying and take it from there...

[YooperMike]

I have been seeing an escort fairly regularly for the last

My question to the forum: How important to your enjoyment is the enjoyment of your partner? Anyone else out there think they are hiring a straight man posing as bisexual or gay?

 

I really enjoy believing that my partner is having a good time as well. And while I am working on this idea that it's not my responsibility for anyone else's happiness, when I sense that someone is enjoying their time with me, I have a much, much better experience. If that person happens to be straight and can enjoy their time with me, I don't see any issue with that.

For me, hiring is about a connection and having a good time. A sex toy is something I can buy down the street at a local store for a whole lot less money. Fortunately, the guys I have found (through this forum) have given me the gift of connection. Straight, gay, bisexual, does not really matter to me - the human touch does.

And if any of you escorting guys are reading this, thank you for doing what you do. I don't believe that it is easy to find a way to be intimate and enjoy all of your clients, but you guys involved here have really done a great job with me. You deserve every penny you earn.

[big-n-tall]

The hires enjoyment (be it real or faked) is an immense turn on for me... that and kissing. Thankfully most of the encounters I've hire have more than fit the bill in their responsiveness.

 

I have seen a few that identify as straight. Two of which, if their faking it... they are damned good at it. One of the few, I do question if he's enjoying the interaction at all. The funny thing is in the beginning he definitely seemed he did. He was relatively new to escorting at the time. As he become more popular and saw more clients, he just seemed to go through the motions. I haven't seen him in months because it's almost a chore now when we meet up. Don't get wrong... he's a good guy, but I'm just don't know if continuing with him is a good idea.

 

So follow your instincts. Maybe take a break from him. Then see him again to see if there is a change. I don't know maybe boredom has set in on both sides. Maybe he is just worn from the amount of clients he sees and isn't into sex as much in general.

 

Keep us updated on your decision.

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

How important to your enjoyment is the enjoyment of your partner?

 

It used to be very important to me that my partner enjoy the sessions; however, about a year ago, an escort told me that I didn't need to try so hard to please him, just do things that please me and he got great satisfaction from knowing I had a great time. Since then, I've decided that outside the bedroom, I'll be the perfect host and try to plan dining or a show that he will enjoy, and if I know the escort enjoys certain background music, I'll try to accommodate. But once clothes come off, I turn off the brain and enjoy the session. As such, my overall hiring experiences this year have been better.

 

Anyone else out there think they are hiring a straight man posing as bisexual or gay?

 

Just once. It was the first time I hired someone for more a massage with an expectation for more than a happy ending. While the session itself was good, I knew when I looked up with a mouthful of his cock that his focus was not on me. (That did not stop me from hiring him again.)

[+ SundayZip]

This is a tricky one. I do not and will not delude myself into thinking that, for the escort, sex with me is great sex. His great sex is likely to be with his boyfriend, girlfriend, his hookup or his preferred sexual partner (which is not likely me). I also do not think that just because he's gay or bi, he is going to be turned on by me. All of this is delusional thinking. That said, I want to feel that the escort likes me and enjoys his time with me. It's more important that I enjoy the sex and that he enjoys the fact he's got me turned on and into him.

 

One of the most honest and sexy things an escort ever said to me was, "Man, I love how I get you so turned on." It was clear that the more I let loose and showed him how much I enjoyed him, the more turned on he got. His pleasure was not about getting good sex from me, it was about him giving me good sex. And in the end, I think we both had a good time with a lot less acting required.

[+ RyanDean]

I initially enjoyed both the sex and the company and while the company has gotten better, I have been enjoying our sessions less and less.

 

I've had plenty of fuckbuddy relationships that have traveled a similar course, PK.

Where it started with an emphasis on the FUCK but changed, over time, to be more BUDDY.

 

You say he's "very talented" and "good" sexually, so I'm wondering what kind of "responsiveness" is missing for you. Might you be able to communicate something ("I'd love it if you made more noise" or "Can we have more eye contact" or whatever) to reboot things? Or do you just need a guy with more intuition than he's got?

[+ jrhoutex]

My question to the forum: How important to your enjoyment is the enjoyment of your partner? Anyone else out there think they are hiring a straight man posing as bisexual or gay?

 

It is essential! I need the passion and emotional connection to enjoy myself.

 

For me, hiring is about a connection and having a good time. A sex toy is something I can buy down the street at a local store for a whole lot less money. Fortunately, the guys I have found (through this forum) have given me the gift of connection. Straight, gay, bisexual, does not really matter to me - the human touch does.

And if any of you escorting guys are reading this, thank you for doing what you do. I don't believe that it is easy to find a way to be intimate and enjoy all of your clients, but you guys involved here have really done a great job with me. You deserve every penny you earn.

 

Absolutely spot on! Well said! However, without the forum and prior reviews, I probably would not hire a guy that identifies as straight as I would think we may not have similar interests.

 

Anyone else out there think they are hiring a straight man posing as bisexual or gay?

 

No, but I have learned that everyone expresses themselves differently. Some guys are intuitive to know what I like while others need some direction. After a couple of engagements if I did not feel a spark in the emotional connection, I would try communicate my desire or move on.

[wisconsinguy]

His enjoyment is paramount to my enjoyment. The attachment/emotional connection is a powerful for me as well. It makes the sex part even better! PK, could be matter of routine???

[jimboivyo]

Each of the following could work to shift this LTR with this escort into a new & higher key (speaking from experience):

 

Hire a girl together.

 

Take Ecstasy together.

 

 

if you gotta involve a gal and introduce illegal drugs into the mix, it does seem like a lot of extra needless work

 

find an escort who finds you interesting. that's all. don't go putting your elbow into your ass to accommodate this situation

[AdamSmith]

don't go putting your elbow into your ass to accommodate this situation

 

To each his own fetish.

[+ WilliamM]

To each his own fetish

 

More true words were never spoken -- well in this case written.

[whipped guy]

if you gotta involve a gal and introduce illegal drugs into the mix, it does seem like a lot of extra needless work

 

find an escort who finds you interesting. that's all. don't go putting your elbow into your ass to accommodate this situation

To each his own fetish.

More true words were never spoken -- well in this case written.

Another ditto to that... Be it spoken or written!

[OneFinger]

This is a tricky one. I do not and will not delude myself into thinking that, for the escort, sex with me is great sex. His great sex is likely to be with his boyfriend, girlfriend, his hookup or his preferred sexual partner (which is not likely me). I also do not think that just because he's gay or bi, he is going to be turned on by me. All of this is delusional thinking. That said, I want to feel that the escort likes me and enjoys his time with me. It's more important that I enjoy the sex and that he enjoys the fact he's got me turned on and into him.

What a fantastic response!! That's exactly how I feel.

[+ sf westcoaster]

For me to continue seeing someone it is absolutely necessary that I sense he is enjoying time with me.

[+ Gar1eth]

For me to continue seeing someone it is absolutely necessary that I sense he is enjoying time with me.

 

Are you talking about sexually, and if you meet guys for extended sessions, outside the bedroom too? The reason I ask is that I don't know how much I've ever pleased an escort sexually. Hopefully I have occasionally. I'm a top- and I like to see my partner cum. But I know at least from me that if I'm stroked well enough that even if I'm not particularly attracted to someone I can cum. So I know that cuming does not have to be related to 'enjoyment' necessarily. On the other hand, I hope I am at least pleasant enough outside the bedroom that it isn't a horrible chore for most guys to spend time with me.

 

Gman

[winston]

Purplekow, could it be that your escort is enjoying himself less because he's feeling pressure from you to act like you're a great lover? He might be exhausted from trying to stroke your ego.

[sincitymix]

Purplekow, could it be that your escort is enjoying himself less because he's feeling pressure from you to act like you're a great lover? He might be exhausted from trying to stroke your ego.

 

ouch