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The right way to suggest a raise...Or fire a client?


Mocha
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I've recently come to a point that I'm realizing my potential is much greater than what I've been made to believe it is. More and more clients are willing, and have been giving 500+ for a reasonable amount of time. The issue is, some of my local regulars refuse to acknowledge that. They want to meet 5 times for $100 each/30 minute session, over a period of 3 months. Needless to say, that won't keep anyone in business, and its been an ongoing struggle locally because my regulars aren't spending enough.

 

For example, I've a regular who sees me occasionally for 2 years. It used to be more often like couple times a month. But now it's more like whenever he gets around to it. Never plans in advance, and if I'm not available; I get a "I'll call you back" bookmark. On top of that, the rate is cheap, even though Ive offered longer sessions in the past. Above all, I'm aware this guy has the means to pay me, but almost seems to choose how much he wants to give me...while boasting about the thousands he spends on leisure vacations.

 

Well, as I predicted, this regular contacts me today. Last time seen was 2 months ago. I wasn't happy. It was a last minute text on a Friday evening. Me time. I responded asking if he'll ever consider paying more for my time, ONCE IN AWHILE. That my rates are for time, and am willing to offer more time (which in the past he's gladly accepted) but that I can't offer low rates all the time. No response.

 

My thing is, if he never wants to see me again, I'm alright with that. It gets to a point where those who don't want to respect my value need to be let go. The guy is a good client, but he has to understand if I'm going to keep seeing him, e.g. accepting his business, there needs to be incentive coming from his end too. I'm supposed to drop plans with friends on Friday, stop what I'm doing., do backflips, etc...and yet he doesn't want to go out of his way to spend more. Yet, I've had guys give me $500, $800, $1,200...for seeing me on a Friday night. For that, ill absolutely not make other plans.

 

Have any other escorts suggested raises from clients? Or Do you feel in some cases you can't get blood from a turnip?

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...and before anyone mentions, I have considered how it might feel if a random business I frequented said, "spend more to support our business". Or that I might have come off ungrateful to my client. But the asking for a raise isn't just about the money. It's about a client respecting the value and not just giving me what he wants me to have. I believe certain clients want to keep us at a certain threshold, but expect stellar service or at the very least, to keep seeing them. I'm not a corporation, or a franchise. Sex and intimacy I feel is at a level comparable to someone's spouse or partner. That's how I want to be treated.

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Why don't you determine what is a reasonable rate for your services, pick a date for when it becomes effective, and leave it at that? I do not think you should bargain for your services; you may lose some clients, but you may also gain some; I have a wonderful masseur here who raised his rates to $160 per hour, which is high for the local market; but I think he is terrific and am happy to pay for his services.

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Agree with Just Sayin'. Seeing a client and resenting what he is willing to pay is not good for you or your client long-term. Cut him Loose.

 

Why don't you determine what is a reasonable rate for your services, pick a date for when it becomes effective, and leave it at that? I do not think you should bargain for your services; you may lose some clients, but you may also gain some; I have a wonderful masseur here who raised his rates to $160 per hour, which is high for the local market; but I think he is terrific and am happy to pay for his services.
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Why don't you determine what is a reasonable rate for your services, pick a date for when it becomes effective, and leave it at that?

 

+1

 

Few years ago, a guy I had been seeing once every 2 or 3 months over 2 years had been charging $220/hour. Somewhat below market rates in his area. One day I phoned for an appointment, and he said, Oh, I've raised it to $250/hour. I said, Fine! See you tonight.

 

He is a good guy, generous with his time (and his weed :D ), a pleasure to be around. But I know if I had argued about his rate increase, he would politely have suggested I find somebody else in my price range. As he would have been right to do.

 

And that would have been that. What's so difficult about that approach?

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It seems as if you are asking for a raise from your boss after you have worked overtime and weekends and he has not acknowledged that your efforts are deserving of a better monetary reward. In fact, you are your own boss. Give yourself a raise if you think you can justify it. When a regular calls, let him know what the new rate is. If you want to be kind about it, you can say that this is the last time you will be seeing him for the old rate as your rate has increased, but because he has been a loyal client you are giving him some lead time.

When I was 17 years old and a freshman in college I lived on tomato soup and pancakes. The pancakes were obtained every other day from a Pancake house that had all you can eat Pancakes for 99 cents. The soup with rice filled in on the off day. One day, I went to buy soup and it had gone up from 11 cents a can to 15 cents a can. I questioned the cashier about it and he told me: "Prices of things go up. Get used to it." So when the pancakes went to $1.29 a few weeks later, I was not surprised.

In dealing with your client, I would use that, minus the "Get used to it" part. As an escort, it is safe to say you probably have a nice set of balls. Time to use them.

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I have never once ever raised a rate to an existing client.

 

They pay the rate they originally booked and it the stands. If they ring and say "Steve, I see your rates increased" then I offer the previous rate. My original agreement with them was a gentlemans agreement and so I adhere to it.

 

This applies to gentlemen who booked within the last 12 months. If you're not regular, you don't get preferential treatment.

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...and before anyone mentions, I have considered how it might feel if a random business I frequented said, "spend more to support our business". Or that I might have come off ungrateful to my client. But the asking for a raise isn't just about the money. It's about a client respecting the value and not just giving me what he wants me to have. I believe certain clients want to keep us at a certain threshold, but expect stellar service or at the very least, to keep seeing them. I'm not a corporation, or a franchise. Sex and intimacy I feel is at a level comparable to someone's spouse or partner. That's how I want to be treated.

 

Raise your rates. It seems that a fair number of escorts have a policy of never raising a client's original rate. But that policy assumes that the original rate was reasonable (for you). You will lose the most price-sensitive clients, but since they won't pay you what you're worth you don't need them.

 

I'm an independent professional. I just raised my rates. We'll see what happens. It means that I won't get those prospects who call and ask, after they hello, how much it would cost for X, because cost is their overriding concern. I'm not interested in them anyway.

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Two or three thoughts:

 

1) If Mocha feels he is worth more for his time, then by all means go to your ad(s) and change them to what you think your worth is. If an old client calls you, not having seen the new price range, then politely inform him, as suggested by others above, that you have new prices for your time.

 

2) That sometimes you see clients who tip you should (hopefully) not make you think that you should charge more. I think of my local barbers. They charge $16 for a haircut. I watch to see how other clients are. I always leave them a $20, and do not ask for change. I notice some others do not, or perhaps leave them $1 as a tip. I wonder what their business would be if they raised their price across the board now to $20 -- whether the tips would also be raised. Granted what an escort provides is more than a barber (depending on your kink level), but it is more the comparison I bring up. Raising rates may impact popularity.

 

3) You seem to pick up, Mocha, on 1 particular client. If a client does not call you in advance, and you have plans, personally I would have more respect for you NOT cancelling your "me" time, and hopefully the client might learn to be a slight bit more understanding and respect for your own time (e.g. like the semi-drunk client calling a guy at 1 a.m. or later and demanding you come over "right now!"). You might consider dropping a client for his apparent lack of esteem for you, and leave it at that.

 

I find the advice of doitb4ugo and MiamiLooker very good.

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Regular or sporadic client?

 

Few years ago, a guy I had been seeing once every 2 or 3 months over 2 years had been charging $220/hour. Somewhat below market rates in his area. One day I phoned for an appointment, and he said, Oh, I've raised it to $250/hour. I said, Fine! See you tonight.

Mocha, I concur with this approach. Just say that you've raised your rates and leave it at that. AdamSmith *also* says that the escort was a good guy. So if you're a good guy and you're generous with your time then you're justified in raising your rates. There are some escorts that do not raise their rates -- in my case, that was because I was seeing them *on a regular basis* and hence, a steady cash flow for the escort. Just ask yourself -- is the client someone you would LIKE to see on a regular basis and is he 'regular' enough for you?

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ask yourself -- is the client someone you would LIKE to see on a regular basis and is he 'regular' enough for you?

 

That's the thing. He's NOT regular enough for me. Especially when I do the technicalities of how much he's paying. Like I said, there's clients paying me $500 in 1 evening, whereas this guy wants to pay me $100-150/5 times spread over 6 months. And that's just a rough estimate.

 

Someone said its not the clients fault I set the rate. I agree. However, It started as very basic massage/frottage. But then, he started wanting more. And more. And then keeping me for longer. One night (last time I seen him) I sat and chatted with him after sex for 3 hours. About his vacations, his other life, resturaunts, etc. I didn't mind doing that. I found it all interesting. But meanwhile, all the while I wasn't being paid for those 3 hours that I'd normally get $500+ for.

 

Maybe I'm spoiled now, but to be more matter of fact....I'm tired of some guys who want a good escort to stay in business, but they aren't doing their part to keep em in business. They want to do just enough, pay what they want us to have, and then expect us to keep seeing them. Those aren't the guys keeping us in business. It's the guys who tip, who once in awhile drop $400+, overnights, etc. There's clients who'll pay me, take me out to dinner, and let me spend the night at their place. So why would I want to faff about with someone who has something to say if I ask for anything over $150?

 

Again, this isn't a diss towards what a client can afford to pay. If I wanted $50 and a client paid $100, that's a good client. But what I'm saying is, I just have an issue with regulars who (I'm trying to word this correctly), instead of giving me a large sum of money, even though they can afford it, rather pay me with pocket change like I'm accepting charity and donations. It lowers my sense of value. I know business shouldn't be taken personal, but I'm rather annoyed when someone who's patronizing my services regularly and often last minute...can't be arsed to make any type of substantial contribution once in awhile.

 

As for the phrase turnips, it only pertains to the subjects at hand. The number of great clients out there are plentiful.

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Mocha

From what I'm reading you seem to want the client to voluntarily give you more money- you don't want to have to ask for it. As a client I have little idea what an escort needs to stay in business. I go by the rates from the escort. If I like him I'll give a big tip. Maybe I'll hope he will be appreciative and maybe we will meet again and who knows what. But I don't know and don't even ask what other clients are paying him.

Bottom line just tell him your rates are higher or you don't do those deals anymore or whatever it is.

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I've recently come to a point that I'm realizing my potential is much greater than what I've been made to believe it is.

 

Congratulations. That is a huge step for growth as a professional. I believe the secret of success is to understand one's abilities and one's limitations and learning to find a comfortable price tag for the services one offers.

 

Have any other escorts suggested raises from clients?

 

Yes. I have done it a couple times. Not only my expenses and overall cost of living goes up, so does my expertise and the care with which I offer my product.

 

They pay the rate they originally booked and it the stands. My original agreement with them was a gentlemans agreement and so I adhere to it.

 

I look at it differently. I am a professional offering a professional service. Professional services go up. This is a fact of life. The "gentleman's agreement" I have with my customers is "I will provide an excellent, satisfying, loving, respectful, discreet service every time. I will be happy to see you, and you will leave with a big smile". That I am willing to honour every single time. The day I can't will be the day I stop working as an escort.

 

I'm an independent professional. I just raised my rates. We'll see what happens. It means that I won't get those prospects who call and ask, after they hello, how much it would cost for X, because cost is their overriding concern. I'm not interested in them anyway.

 

Rising one's rates is not a comfortable process. Some people might feel surprised or even angered while others will reluctantly agree it is fair. You may miss some of the angered ones, but if your service has been excellent throughout the years and if you priced yourself fairly you will realize that after trying other providers with lower rates, most of them will in the end come back to you. Especially in an industry like this one, a kind, passionate, respectful, hot service by a beautiful man will always find eager customers.

 

However, Mocha, I think where you are going at it in a way that is not working for you. This is specially evident when I read stuff like this:

 

...But the asking for a raise isn't just about the money. It's about a client respecting the value and not just giving me what he wants me to have. I believe certain clients want to keep us at a certain threshold, but expect stellar service or at the very least, to keep seeing them. I'm not a corporation, or a franchise. Sex and intimacy I feel is at a level comparable to someone's spouse or partner. That's how I want to be treated.

 

I just have an issue with regulars who (I'm trying to word this correctly), instead of giving me a large sum of money, even though they can afford it, rather pay me with pocket change like I'm accepting charity and donations. It lowers my sense of value.

 

You are not asking for a raise. They are not your employers. You are a service provider, they are your customers. The dynamics are entirely different. YOU set your rates. they either pay them or not. They have absolutely no say in this matter. You are either a good match for them or you aren't.

 

Also, you are in for A LOT of trouble if you are depending on your clients to know your worth. If you are in this business for appreciation, you will get yourself in situations where you will have no control of the outcome. A lot of money conscious men will try to put you down constantly to make sure you keep accepting peanuts. They should not have this power. The funny thing is that you are actually being treated as a spouse. You are like a battered wife in a codependent relationship, not a professional, which is what you claim to want to be. A spouse doesn't have a set rate and husbands are not famous for doting amazing sums of money on wives. Abusive husbands will constantly remind their wives how they are nothing and they are lucky to have their abusive, mean husband.

 

A professional on the other hand says "This is my hourly rate. If you spend three hours with me, you owe me this amount". There is no negotiation, there is no leeway, there is no room for their appreciation of their self worth to come into the equation.

 

The only way they will have to show their appreciation of your work is if they come back for more, or if they tip.

 

Set your rates. Stick to them. Every single time. Let your clients know what your rates are in advance. If you booked a one hour session and it's clearly going much longer, ask politely "Would you like to extend the session to two hours?" if the answer is Yes, then charge accordingly. If the answer is No, start wrapping up the session. That is what professionals do. All professionals. No dentist or lawyer or accountant will work for you, stay with you all night for free hoping you give them huge amounts of cash or that you confirm their worth.

 

You can't have it both ways. Either you are a professional with a professional demeanour and behaviour, or you are a sexy guy who hopes people will throw money at him. Those are two entirely different job descriptions and the rules for one do not apply for the other.

 

It sounds to me as if you are wanting to go the professional route. It's not easy. You might encounter setbacks but I assure you that if your product is of good quality and your demeanour remains professional, soon enough you will find that you don't have to negotiate or hope for anything because everything will be clearly set up in advance. In my personal opinion, this is a much easier way to work.

 

Wishing you the best of success!

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Hello Juan, thanks for your thought out response. I had to admit though, how I said it versus what I'm implementing somehow came off very differently. I was using it in a context like we are being hired. ... but yes in reality we run this, not them. We aren't working for them, but WITH them. My suggesting it's a raise was for allegory purposes.

 

However, though I may have worded wrong, I'm very much professional and in control. With this particular client, I may have been too lenient and allow him to pay me what he wanted. .. but he also had a pushy, frugal approach towards me. But when he started telling me about the generous gratuities he'd do for other people in his life that weren't family, and weren't even having sex with, it made me realize he was only doing me like that.

 

I also wouldn't compare myself to a battered spouse. I think that's a very serious comparison... and my situation isn't quite near That. Mine is more like the guy constantly haggling his contractor or personal trainer.

 

The final result with this client...I don't know. I think I severed the relationship after rather sternly (but accommodating) letting him know if he wants to spend more time, even if that involves chatting about lavish restaurants and spoiling his girl toys, that I'm going to need to be paid for it. I'm willing to offer it sometimes, but not when my rate is capped at $100-150, and previous suggestions and offers to do longer arrangements have been turned down.

 

If you wonder why I continued seeing this client, he was usually in and out. He'd come over, stay maybe half hour or less and be gone. Most times very vanilla, no sex. Quick and easy. Also he was a steady regular. But I can't do quick and easy Forever. The whole intention was to let him know hey... we've assessed our personalities mesh, let's go for something longer. consider me for a paid evening out or overnight. I offered a generous quote, but he didn't wanna go for it. I think he got flustered that I put my foot down.

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  • 3 weeks later...
I've recently come to a point that I'm realizing my potential is much greater than what I've been made to believe it is. More and more clients are willing, and have been giving 500+ for a reasonable amount of time. The issue is, some of my local regulars refuse to acknowledge that. They want to meet 5 times for $100 each/30 minute session, over a period of 3 months. Needless to say, that won't keep anyone in business, and its been an ongoing struggle locally because my regulars aren't spending enough.

 

For example, I've a regular who sees me occasionally for 2 years. It used to be more often like couple times a month. But now it's more like whenever he gets around to it. Never plans in advance, and if I'm not available; I get a "I'll call you back" bookmark. On top of that, the rate is cheap, even though Ive offered longer sessions in the past. Above all, I'm aware this guy has the means to pay me, but almost seems to choose how much he wants to give me...while boasting about the thousands he spends on leisure vacations.

 

Well, as I predicted, this regular contacts me today. Last time seen was 2 months ago. I wasn't happy. It was a last minute text on a Friday evening. Me time. I responded asking if he'll ever consider paying more for my time, ONCE IN AWHILE. That my rates are for time, and am willing to offer more time (which in the past he's gladly accepted) but that I can't offer low rates all the time. No response.

 

My thing is, if he never wants to see me again, I'm alright with that. It gets to a point where those who don't want to respect my value need to be let go. The guy is a good client, but he has to understand if I'm going to keep seeing him, e.g. accepting his business, there needs to be incentive coming from his end too. I'm supposed to drop plans with friends on Friday, stop what I'm doing., do backflips, etc...and yet he doesn't want to go out of his way to spend more. Yet, I've had guys give me $500, $800, $1,200...for seeing me on a Friday night. For that, ill absolutely not make other plans.

 

Have any other escorts suggested raises from clients? Or Do you feel in some cases you can't get blood from a turnip?

 

 

Go ahead and raise your rates. The client will pay or he won't. But don't fire him. If you do, you eliminate the possibility that, in six months or a year, he will decide that you're worth the extra money and pay it. Harv Eker (Secrets of the Millionaire Mind) says that you can be rich or you can be right. Here, firing the client would be being right. If you give up needing to prove something to him, you might just retain him as a client at your new rate.

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Hmmm, I have never had a scort I've seen regularly for a while say 2-3 yrs raise his rate on me ever. Since I never even look at their ads anymore and contact them direct I have no idea if their current rates even HAVE gone up, they prolly have, BUT if when I next called they said they were raising their rate to see me, I would not like it. Sorry, but aside from the increasing costs of rent food transportation etc that affect US ALL unilaterally, HIS is not a supply business where he has to pay someone more for what HE needs to do business with us. (PLS no one say gym tanning salon facials etc c'mon :-) In essence he's charging for his time, which is relative as Einstein taught us. So when he says his TIME is now worth more, he's simply making an arbitrary decision that says new clients are willing to pay this so the loyal clients he sees (even in the dead months when 1/3 of the RB ads disappear) have to step it up and pay more too. IF he said his rate has gone up and he can only confirm an HOUR before because if he gets a new price client he has to take THAT, I think I'd accept that. IF he said I can only see you at your rate Mon or Tues nites because those are dead nights, I think I'd accept that too. BUT if he said my 250 is now 300$ etc and that's what I now MUST pay, I'd think, well if I must pay THAT I might as well explore some fresh interesting options at that price that I'd previously passed by. Sorry, that's how I feel :-)

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Hmmm, I have never had a scort I've seen regularly for a while say 2-3 yrs raise his rate on me ever. Since I never even look at their ads anymore and contact them direct I have no idea if their current rates even HAVE gone up, they prolly have, BUT if when I next called they said they were raising their rate to see me, I would not like it. Sorry, but aside from the increasing costs of rent food transportation etc that affect US ALL unilaterally, HIS is not a supply business where he has to pay someone more for what HE needs to do business with us. (PLS no one say gym tanning salon facials etc c'mon :) In essence he's charging for his time, which is relative as Einstein taught us. So when he says his TIME is now worth more, he's simply making an arbitrary decision that says new clients are willing to pay this so the loyal clients he sees (even in the dead months when 1/3 of the RB ads disappear) have to step it up and pay more too. IF he said his rate has gone up and he can only confirm an HOUR before because if he gets a new price client he has to take THAT, I think I'd accept that. IF he said I can only see you at your rate Mon or Tues nites because those are dead nights, I think I'd accept that too. BUT if he said my 250 is now 300$ etc and that's what I now MUST pay, I'd think, well if I must pay THAT I might as well explore some fresh interesting options at that price that I'd previously passed by. Sorry, that's how I feel :)
Feelings are relative. Narrow mindedness regrettable or forgettable. :)
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Feelings are relative. Narrow mindedness regrettable or forgettable. :)

Honestly didn't think I was being narrow-minded, perhaps I am jaded since as said I've been fortunate that my regulars have never suggested a rate raise to me. But when a scort I've hired 8-10 times a year faithfully for two or three years contacts ME with a casual wassup and I "know" he's probably in need of some cash, I would NEVER suggest I would see him for LESS money that I usually pay simply because I possibly "could" get away with spending less. And I feel the reverse should also be true I suppose :-)

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I think it's very reasonable to expect moderate rate increases occasionally and I wouldn't blink at one (if I had a regular, which I don't).

It's a fact that the cost of rent, utilities, medical care, fuel and everything else inflates over time - why would anyone expect that any professional provider wouldn't need to account for that.

 

My dentist, who I've been seeing for years, recently increased his fees about 10% for the first time ever. It was a moderate, reasonable adjustment for inflation which he communicated in a matter-of-fact, discreet way (when I booked my appointment I was told by the scheduling person "by the way, we've adjusted our fee schedule - please see our web site or I can review them with you if you like". ). He is very good at what he does... I trust him with something that is important to me... And it was perfectly reasonable.

 

I think the important thing is to communicate a moderate increase in a simple discreet way and most reasonable people will understand perfectly well.

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Hmmm, I have never had a scort I've seen regularly for a while say 2-3 yrs raise his rate on me ever. Since I never even look at their ads anymore and contact them direct I have no idea if their current rates even HAVE gone up, they prolly have, BUT if when I next called they said they were raising their rate to see me, I would not like it. Sorry, but aside from the increasing costs of rent food transportation etc that affect US ALL unilaterally, HIS is not a supply business where he has to pay someone more for what HE needs to do business with us. (PLS no one say gym tanning salon facials etc c'mon :) In essence he's charging for his time, which is relative as Einstein taught us. So when he says his TIME is now worth more, he's simply making an arbitrary decision that says new clients are willing to pay this so the loyal clients he sees (even in the dead months when 1/3 of the RB ads disappear) have to step it up and pay more too. IF he said his rate has gone up and he can only confirm an HOUR before because if he gets a new price client he has to take THAT, I think I'd accept that. IF he said I can only see you at your rate Mon or Tues nites because those are dead nights, I think I'd accept that too. BUT if he said my 250 is now 300$ etc and that's what I now MUST pay, I'd think, well if I must pay THAT I might as well explore some fresh interesting options at that price that I'd previously passed by. Sorry, that's how I feel :)

 

You might not like it, but would you stop seeing the escort? Nobody likes having to pay more for something than they are used to paying for it. Doctors and lawyers raise there fees. The client/patients don't "like it," but they usually pay. And some won't pay, and switch. But the party raising the rates is usually prepared for that, knowing that he/she might lose some current clients because of the rate increase. The lost clients are usually fairly quickly replaced by clients willing to pay the higher rate.

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